


The Road to 100

by jewishwondergirl



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-25
Updated: 2018-03-19
Packaged: 2018-04-04 17:09:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 44
Words: 91,306
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4145871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jewishwondergirl/pseuds/jewishwondergirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily Evans is stressed. Her sister has a fiancé, she's overwhelmed by her Head Girl work, and James Potter won't leave her alone. Although that last one may not be such a problem...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Perks of Being a Head Girl

_Seventh Year_

“Did you hear who made Head Boy this year?” A fourth-year girl behind Lily on Platform 9 3/4 was whispering obnoxiously. “It’s James Potter!”  
“Oh, Merlin, he’s dreamy,” her friend gushed.  
Lily was tempted to turn around and tell the girls exactly what she thought of their James Potter, maybe knock him down off the pedestal, but decided the girls would have to come to their own conclusions and let them be. Besides, she’d have to deal with the boy himself soon enough.  
She’d known Potter would be Head Boy since her own letter had arrived, notifying her of her position of Head Girl. She had been absolutely thrilled for a whole thirty seconds, before she realized there was more writing in the letter and learned of who her new partner would be.  
Her trunk was loaded up onto the train, and she had kissed her mother goodbye outside the barrier. Petunia had been with them, and she had refused to set foot in the magical world. Lily was not sure she would have even been able to make it through the barrier, and while slightly crushed, was secretly glad she did not have to find out whether or not the barrier would reject her sister.  
There was a loud pop, and suddenly a voice squealed, “Lily!” A pretty blonde girl had Apparated beside her, grinning widely. “I’ve been practicing Apparition all summer. Nothing quite like having the Trace gone...” She trailed off, letting her smile speak for her.  
Lily greeted Marlene enthusiastically. “Some of our Traces don’t break until January,” she scolded lightly. “So don’t go around bragging.”  
Marlene’s smile, if possible, only widened. “Jealous?”  
“Of you? Never.”  
Marlene gave Lily a friendly shove. “Well, come on. Onto the train, and all that. I suppose you’ll have to go up to the prefect’s carriage...?”  
Lily shuddered. “Never before have I dreaded a meeting as much as I do now.”  
“It’s a pain you must shoulder, dear,” Marlene advised. “Mary and I will get a carriage. If you see Alice or Hestia, let them know to come find us.”  
Lily nodded, hurrying onto the train towards the front compartments, dreading the moment she would have to lay eyes on James Potter, who was undoubtably planning to lord his new position of power over her.  
Upon entering the prefect’s carriage, however, she bumped into Remus Lupin. “Remus!” She said, pleasantly surprised. “I was--I thought--is Potter not here yet?”  
Remus smiled warmly. “No, he said he was running a bit late today.” He paused, tilting his head. “You do realize he’s going to think you were looking for him.”  
“What? Don’t be ridiculous.” Lily lowered herself into a seat at the front of the carriage. “I don’t think Potter’s going to show. Honestly, Remus, I don’t understand--”  
“I’m here!” A very out of breath James Potter appeared in the doorway, his eyes sweeping the compartment before landing on Lily. As soon as they did, his hand flew to his hair. “Evans,” he said, his voice lowering.  
Lily rolled her eyes. “Sit down, Potter. We’re just waiting on the sixth year Slytherin prefects and one fifth year Ravenclaw.”  
“Excellent.” Potter threw himself down in the seat adjacent to Lily’s. “So how do these meetings usually go?”  
Remus sighed tiredly. “Prongs, I tried to tell you last week--”  
“I wasn’t listening,” Potter interrupted airily. “You know that.”  
Exasperated, Lily tried to explain. “The Head Boy and Girl--I suppose that’s us, now--usually welcome the prefects, give them an outline on their expected duties, and answer questions. We’re also to begin assigning rounds schedules, and then we send them to patrol for a while. I have a schedule drawn up...” She rummaged in her bag for a moment, but not before she noticed the look Potter threw to Remus. “What?” she snapped, straightening with a piece of parchment clutched in her hands.  
“Nothing,” Potter lied easily. “I’m just very proud of how prepared you are, Evans.”  
The last few prefects filed in, grabbing the empty seats nearest to the doors. Lily cleared her throat. “Right! Welcome to our first official meeting of the 1976-1977 school year! Now, I realize most of you have done this before and know the drill, but it’s always nice to have a refresher. And for the eight new prefects...and our Head Boy,” she added begrudgingly, “this will be completely unknown. So,” she finished brightly. “Let’s get started! Your basic duties are to attend these meetings, of course, and patrol nightly--”  
The fifth-year female Hufflepuff prefect...Aline, Lily thought her name was, raised a hand. “Um...Miss Evans?”  
“Lily,” the Head Girl corrected encouragingly.  
“Right. Lily. Um, are patrols...scary?”  
“Leave it to the Hufflepuff,” Potter muttered behind her.  
Lily ignored him, but her jaw tightened at the embarrassed look on Aline’s face. “Of course not,” she said soothingly. “Mostly you’re looking out for snogging couples. Usually Sirius Black.”  
James snorted. “Do they really say that every meeting?”  
“Yes,” Lily said, trying to keep the corner of her mouth from quirking up in a smile. “There is a prefect handbook, of course, and you should all pick up a copy...the library has about four dozen.”  
“How will we know when to patrol?” the fifth year Gryffindor boy asked brazenly.  
Lily forced a smile. “Potter and I will devise a schedule, which will be handed out in our next meeting...Tuesday, I think. Until then, the two of us will do rounds.”  
“What about Quidditch?” A Ravenclaw girl asked. “Last year a ton of meetings conflicted--”  
“Oh, finally, I’m useful,” James grumbled. “I’ll make sure there aren’t any conflicts in that respect. Unless they overlap with Slytherin practice.” He flashed the prefects in green ties a smile. “Then you’d better be here.”  
Severus was glaring at Lily. Lily had managed to ignore him, forget he was there, even, but his eyes were boring into her. She tried desperately not to look at him. “Any other questions?” she asked weakly.  
The prefects shook their heads.  
“Good,” James said, sounding relieved. “We may not be late to lunch after all.”  
“Actually, Potter,” Lily began through gritted teeth as the younger students filed out, “I was wondering if I could have a word.”  
“Of course,” he said. Were her eyes deceiving her, or did he look nervous?  
Once the compartment was empty, and Severus had finally torn his eyes away from Lily, she spoke again. “You need to take this seriously or I’m talking to Dumbledore.”  
Potter looked shocked, but he masked it quickly. “Who said I’m not taking this seriously?”  
Lily ran a hand through her hair, a gesture she failed to notice she had borrowed from the boy opposite her. “Look, I know you didn’t exactly want this position. But I’ve been dreaming of being Head Girl since I was eleven--”  
“I know.”  
“Then you understand why I need a partner who is with me, one hundred percent.” She met his gaze fiercely.  
James leaned in closer. “I’m always with you.”  
Lily drew herself back. “Stop hitting on me,” she commanded.  
“I wasn’t.”  
“Don’t lie blatantly either,” she said, taking a deep breath. “This is going to be hard if we hate each other. I...I propose...I mean, I think...well, it’d just be best if...”  
“Spit it out, Evans,” Potter said teasingly. “I don’t want to miss the lunch trolley.  
“I think we should be friends,” Lily said abruptly.  
Potter’s eyes widened. “Two years of me pursuing you, and now you change your mind? What happened? What did I finally do right? Do tell, Evans, I’m begging you!”  
“Shut up,” Lily snapped. “Nothing you did. If we’re going to be Heads, we can’t be hating each other. So I’m going to put forward a serious effort to not find everything you do irritating, and you have to stop flirting with me.”  
James smiled. “Of course, Lily. Come along, then, it’s getting late.”  
Lily sighed irritably. “We’re not sitting in the same compartment. It’s my last journey to Hogwarts; I want to actually enjoy it.”  
“As you wish.” Potter went on ahead, leaving her staring behind him. He seemed to be different, she thought. Like he was unsure how to act around her. He flickered between the old arrogance, and a new sort of shyness.  
She was probably imagining it. Hallucinating, from hunger. As her stomach growled, she broke herself out of the stupor and hurried back to the compartment where her friends awaited.

***

Lily tried to commit every second of the Welcoming Feast to memory. The way the candlelight danced on the polished wood tables, the laughter and yells of the third years, the terrified faces of the first years. Lily sat with her friends, but stared at the ceiling instead of paying attention to them. She would miss that ceiling, she thought. All the stars moving slowly across the sky...she still had a year left, for Merlin's sake! She could be nostalgic later.  
The Sorting Ceremony was the same as it always was. The Sorting Hat warned of the outside dangers, and practically begged that house rivalries stop.  
Lily would never tire of Hogwarts feasts. Though she would never tell her mother, all summer she missed returning, if only for the superior cooking. House elves certainly knew their way around a kitchen.  
“Lil,” Mary said, poking her arm. “Earth to Lily.”  
Lily blinked, looking up from her plate, which was unfortunately nearing empty again. “Sorry?”  
“If you’re so tired we can go up to bed early,” Mary said, her eyes full of concern.  
Lily shook herself awake. “No, I’m fine. Just thinking.” She quickly turned her attention to Alice Prewett, who sat next to her with her boyfriend, Frank Longbottom.  
“--and my cousin Molly’s pregnant again, with twins this time, if you can believe! They’re not due until next year, but still, it’s going to be busy around her house...four children, Merlin.”  
"At least they seem to like each other," Hestia Jones said. "I'd hate to see that many kids hate each other."  
"I spoke to Bill, he says they're always underfoot...he's the oldest after all, he'd know..."  
Marlene laughed. "As the oldest of three, I can agree that it is never our fault. Younger siblings are just annoying." She shuddered. "Mark once put frog spawn in my pillowcase. I didn't even notice until ages later when it was already a frog..." She grimaced at the memory as Frank and Alice roared with laughter.  
Lily felt a little sick, but kept eating.  
"And Martin's the youngest, he's six," Marlene continued enthusiastically. "He doesn't listen to anything I say. Thinks it's all about him. He gets away with everything! Little siblings have all the luck, I swear. I couldn't get away with anything."  
Lily's ravenous appetite seemed to vanish. "Y'know, Mary, I think I'll take you up on that," she said quietly, sliding off the bench and slipping away from the table and out of the hall.  
She paused in the Entrance Hall. She didn't think she'd be this affected by Petunia. She had never thought Petunia might be as hurt by their differences as she was. Her parents were always on her side, how must Petunia feel about that? Lily's stomach lurched. Petunia had been right, of course. It was all her fault, Lily was a freak...  
Mary MacDonald appeared by Lily's side. "Come on," she said, gripping Lily's elbow. "Let's get you to bed."  
"You don't—no! Stay and enjoy the feast," Lily protested. "Besides, I need to lead all the first years to their dormitories—"  
" The prefects and Potter can do that," Mary said firmly. "The Head Girl needs her beauty sleep."  
Lily's protests fell on deaf ears as Mary escorted her away from the Entrance Hall.  
"Marlene didn't mean any of it," Mary said comfortingly.  
"Oh, I'm sure she did," Lily said. "I just know she never meant to hurt me."  
Mary nudged her. "Besides, she's talking from personal experience. Your situation is completely different. You didn't do anything to Petunia."  
"Didn't I?" Lily asked miserably.  
"No," Mary said firmly. "She's got her knickers in a twist for some horrible reason that's got nothing to do with you."  
“You’re my favorite, you know that, Mare?”  
Mary sighed. “Yes. You’ve mentioned it. Come on. You do know the password, right?” They climbed a staircase, jumping over the trick stair in tandem.  
Lily nodded. “Dumbledore included it in my letter. I get to set the common room password now, did you know?”  
“That’s great!” Mary said, yawning. “Set it to something like... ‘Mary is my favorite’. That should do it. Those Slytherins will never guess it.”  
“Even if they did, they couldn’t say it,” Lily said wryly. “I doubt they can say the name of a muggleborn without Voldemort knowing.”  
Mary giggled. “Don’t let them hear you say his name.”  
“Oh, I’m just joking.” Lily held aside a tapestry that hid a secret corridor. She only knew about it from following James Potter and Peter Pettigrew after one of their midnight jaunts to the kitchens. It was an educational stalk, she had reasoned. Learning the location of the kitchens could definitely come in handy later. “Not all Slytherins are bad, after all.”  
Mary raised an eyebrow. “I swear, if you say Snape--”  
“I wasn’t going to!” Lily said defensively. “I know...I know what he’s done. I know what his friends tried to do to you. But I’m just saying, all this prejudice...it’s what they’re doing to us, isn’t it?”  
“Lily, you can’t do that. Make me feel guilty for hating Slytherins, I mean,” she clarified off Lily’s questioning look. “I liked it when things were clear. Gryffindors good, Slytherins evil gits. Hufflepuffs nice gits. Ravenclaws smart gits.”  
Lily rolled her eyes. “I know why you’re not a smart git, then.”  
“Ah, but you admit I’m a git.”  
“I suppose as gits go, you’re not the worst.” They had reached the portrait of the Fat Lady, and Lily smiled up at her.  
“Oh, Miss Evans!” The Fat Lady was smiling back at her. “I see you’ve made Head Girl. Congratulations!”  
“Thank you,” Lily said politely. “Now, as Head Girl, I’ve heard I’ll be setting passwords--do I need to tell you or do you know as soon as I put it up on the Gryffindor bulletin board?”  
The Fat Lady shifted.“You don’t need to tell me, dear, but I do enjoy our chats.”  
“Blishwick,” Lily said, and the portrait swung forward to admit the two girls.  
“I still don’t see why you spend so much time talking to her,” Mary said, as the two ascended the staircase to the girls’ dormitories.  
Lily smirked. “You never know. Our friendship could come in handy if I ever feel the need to bar a certain Gryffindor access to the common room as a personal favor.”  
Mary raised an eyebrow outside the door to the 7th year girls’ dorm. “You plan on pranking James Potter a lot this year, don’t you?”  
“I like to think of it more as revenge.” Lily’s eyes fell on a door next to the one she usually entered. “Is that...”  
A small bronze plaque next to the door read ‘Head Girl’.  
Lily inhaled sharply. “I didn’t realize.”  
Mary grinned. “Well, let’s check out your new abode, shall we?”  
Lily pushed the door open. There was a note from Dumbledore on her nightstand, explaining the spell to set a password for her own room and the common room.  
The room itself was simple. It was round and had a pointed ceiling, as it was at the very top of the tower. The fourposter was queen-sized, and as usual draped in Gryffindor colors. There was an adjoining bathroom.  
“Wow,” Mary breathed. “I might sneak up here and share your bathroom if Hestia and Marlene hog it again this year.”  
“You’re welcome to,” Lily said, in awe of the room herself. “And if for some reason you have a row with them--which you better not--you’re welcome to stay here.”  
Mary gave her friend a hug. “I’m absolutely knackered,” she said.  
“And to think it’s barely eight,” Lily said. “We’re getting _old_ , Mare.”  
Mary grinned. “I’m going to bed, unless you need anything.” When Lily shook her head, Mary took her by the shoulders. “I’m serious. Get me whenever. I know you’re having a bit of a tough time--”  
“Mary, sometimes I think you ought to have been a Hufflepuff,” Lily said loudly, mostly to shut the other girl up.  
“I’ll take that as a compliment,” Mary sniffed. “My older brother was a Hufflepuff.”  
“Goodnight,” Lily said, picking up the bit of parchment Dumbledore had left for her and began thinking of passwords.  
“Night, dear.”  
As soon as Mary had shut the door Lily collapsed onto her new bed. She wasn’t tired, really, just overwhelmed. Her final year of Hogwarts, her new Head duties, James Potter’s insufferable personality...  
She was suddenly struck with the perfect password--one no one would ever guess, because why on earth would she use it?  
Muttering the incantation, she drew her wand in a circle and then pointed it to the door. “Potter,” she said clearly. The door shimmered gold for a few seconds, then faded. She hurried into the hallway and shut the door, then tested it. “Potter,” she muttered, then tried the door. It opened easily.  
Satisfied with her work, Lily went back to her room. Her trunk had been delivered by a House Elf, as had her owl. She scrawled a quick note to her mother, notifying her of her safe arrival, and sent Mercury off, the letter fastened to his leg.  
Lily heard the other girls coming up from dinner as she got ready for bed. She debated whether or not to go down to their dormitory and say goodnight, but decided against it. They’d talk in the morning.  
Realizing that Hestia would not be around to wake her up in the mornings anymore, she set the alarm clock by the bed for seven in the morning and collapsed onto the dark red covers.  
This year was shaping up to be a struggle, but Lily always did like a challenge.


	2. The Art of Brown-nosing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! I'm going out of town for two weeks, so I'll post chapter two today and maybe chapter three tomorrow before I leave, we'll see...
> 
> Hope you enjoy!
> 
> Ciao! :)

CHAPTER TWO - The Art of Brown Nosing

When Lily reached the common room at 7:30 the next morning it was to find a very angry James Potter glaring at her, arms crossed, Sirius hovering nervously behind him.  
“Morning,” Lily greeted pleasantly. She couldn’t think for the life of her what she’d done this time, unless...her blood ran cold. Had he found out about her password? But she’d think he’d be upset so much as pleased about that... “Well, spit it out, James, I honestly have no idea what you’re so pissed about this morning.”  
“Really?” He did indeed spit. “Drop the high and mighty attitude, Evans.”  
Lily raised an eyebrow. “You’re acting like a killed your owl. I didn’t, did I?” She took on a fake anxious expression. “I thought I checked that it was someone else’s...”  
Sirius rolled his eyes. “What my drama queen of a best mate is trying to say,” he said, with a pointed look at said best mate, “is that you’re skiving off on your Head Girl duties and we’re not a day into term yet.”  
Lily tilted her head. “What an earth are you talking about, Black?”  
“Rounds,” James spat. “We were supposed to patrol together last night, Evans. You ditched me.”  
Lily’s mouth fell open into a perfect O. Her horror was written all over her face. “Oh Merlin,” she said, when words returned to her. “I forgot--I completely and utterly forgot. Potter, I’m so sorry.” She had been so wrapped up in her own issues she’d forgotten other people even existed. Petunia really was right; Lily was selfish and inconsiderate. She tugged at her hair. No thinking of Petunia, she told herself firmly. Petunia was off-limits.  
James’ anger seemed to be faltering. He seemed to be under the impression that Lily’s despair was solely directed at him. “I’m not that mad, Evans.” He sounded alarmed.  
“All alone,” she said. “I shouldn’t have made you be all alone.”  
Petunia, Petunia, Petunia. Guilt was enveloping her. Why had it taken her so long to realize how horrible she’d been to her own sister? Of course it wasn’t as one sided as she’d always thought. Petunia was wrong and laughable, she was completely innocent.  
“I--yeah, well, I’m used to roaming the corridors by myself.”  
Oh, right. Patrols. “I’ll do it all by myself tomorrow, I swear! I’ll do it alone for the rest of the week, even!” Lily’s hands were in her hair, her face bright red. “Shit, shit, shit...I can’t believe I forgot!” Tears were glistening in her eyes when her head raised again. “Potter, I am so sorry.”  
“Lily, you don’t have to do it alone,” James said gruffly. “It’s fine.”  
Marlene Abbott and Alice Prewett appeared at the bottom of the girls’ dormitories. “Lily?” Alice asked, coming over. “What happened?”  
“Nothing,” Lily said, trying desperately not to cry. It was ridiculous, she rarely cried over anything, let alone something as stupid as this. “I messed up--”  
“It’s really fine,” James insisted.  
Sirius let out a bark-like laugh. “You should have opened with that, mate,” he said.  
“This is about your sister, isn’t it?” Marlene said in a low voice. “Mary told me--”  
“She shouldn’t have told you anything!” Lily hissed, fully aware that the worse half of the Marauders were standing right next to her. “That was confidential and...and personal!”  
Marlene rolled her eyes. “We live together. Nothing is personal.”  
“Petunia is,” Lily said. “I don’t like to talk about it.”  
“Er...Evans?”  
James was still standing there, only now he looked confused. “Well...I’ll see you later, then,” Lily said in a falsely bright voice, following Alice and Marlene out of the Portrait Hole and into the corridor.  
“What the hell was going on back there?” Alice demanded as the girls began down the stairs. “You never cry, Lily.”  
“I know!” Lily said. “I know I don’t--I’m just...Mary would say it’s because I’m in a ‘fragile state’ but I’m not, I swear, I’m just stressed...”  
“Do you need a calming draught?” Marlene asked.  
Lily shook her head vigorously. “On the first day of school? I don’t think so!”  
“It’s understandable. You have a lot of pressure on you,” Marlene said wisely but unhelpfully. Lily glared at her.  
Alice took Lily’s shoulders in her hands. “Lily, over the past six years you have always taken care of us--made sure we ate our vegetables, did our homework--it was ridiculous, really. You don’t have to feel like everything is your responsibility.”  
Lily’s hand slid along the banister, her fingers tapping as she thought. “I know,” she said finally. “I haven’t been myself lately. I’ve been a wreck. Can we talk about something else?”  
“Sure,” Alice said. “How about Celestina Warbeck’s performance this summer? Did anyone see it?”  
Marlene shook her head. “The tickets are all snatched up and sold on the black market, I don’t know anyone who’s actually seen her live.”  
“I listened to her records,” Lily said wistfully, grateful for a change of subject. “My mum loves her--but she still maintains that her favorite is Ella Fitzgerald.”  
“Who?”  
Marlene and Lily launched into an explanation of muggle music for the pureblooded Alice, who found the entire thing weird.  
“I don’t get why there has to be a distinction between muggle and magical music,” she insisted. “It’s just sounds.”  
“Celestina has songs about magic and potions--it’d break the Statute of Secrecy,” Marlene argued.  
Lily considered it. “Yes, but muggle music is full of metaphors--no one would even think twice about it!”  
“It’d be too specific though, someone would get suspicious.”  
Their argument continued until they reached the ground floor of the castle and crossed the Entrance Hall. There their conversation turned to lamenting the fact that Gryffindor was currently in last place.  
“I know--Lils, give me twenty points for being such a good friend,” Marlene said.  
Alice laughed. “No, give me fifty as congratulations for dating the same bloke for three years.”  
“I can’t just do that,” Lily protested. “As much as I’d like to, I actually have to log all point deductions and additions in a huge book in the Head Offices.”  
“That’s bollocks.”  
“I didn’t know you had an office!”  
Lily grimaced. “It’s tiny and smells weird. I haven’t been there yet this year, but I’m hoping to spend as little time there as is humanly possible.”  
Upon reaching the Great Hall the three girls joined their dorm mates--or former dorm mates, in Lily’s case--at the Gryffindor table.  
“Lily,” Hestia said, looking up from her toast and jam. “We missed you last night. You were supposed to bring the chocolate.”  
“I was supposed to do a lot of things last night,” Lily said flatly, pouring herself a glass of pumpkin juice and throwing it back as if it were something stronger. She slammed it back on the table. “What? I can pretend.”  
Alice rolled her eyes. “Someone’s still in a bad mood.”  
“You know what our common room password is going to be next?” Lily asked, a smile tugging at her lips. When she didn’t say anything, Mary tentatively asked,  
“What, dear?”  
“Lily Evans is a twat!” Lily said forcefully, causing several people to look up from down the table.  
Marlene shook her head. “Too easy to guess.”  
Lily swatted her on the arm.  
“Oi, Potter!” Marlene called.  
James had just entered the Great Hall, accompanied by the other three Marauders. He looked over, surprised. When his eyes fell on Lily, however, he hurried over. “Abbott! What can I do for you?”  
“You’re not going to make me try out for the team again this year, are you?” Marlene gazed up at him suspiciously. “For the past three years you have, and I’ve always beaten the rest by a mile.”  
“Ah, Abbott.” James ran a hand through his hair, his eyes still on the back of Lily’s head. “You never know. An incoming second year might actually beat you.”  
Marlene rolled her eyes. “Sure. Please, Potter. I don’t need the additional stress right now. I have to take care of Lily.”  
“No you don’t,” Lily said, speaking for the first time. “I take care of you, Marlene.”  
“Sure.” Marlene looked back up at James. “She’s in denial. So please, do me a favor. Don’t make me try out again.”  
“Only because you’re my star player, Abbott. After me, of course.” James grinned. “You still have to come to tryouts, though.”  
Sirius scowled. “Have fun replacing me.”  
“Why did you get kicked off the team again?” Mary asked, showing interest in the conversation for the first time.  
The Marauders joined the girls at their end of the table.  
“Too many detentions,” Remus answered, at the same time Peter said “Medical issues.”  
They both looked at each other, and Sirius grimaced. “We’re not exactly at liberty to say.”  
“Christ, Black, what did you do?” Marlene shook her head. “McGonagall would do anything to avoid messing with the Gryffindor Quidditch team.”  
Lily noticed Sirius and Remus were avoiding each other’s gazes. She had a sneaking suspicion she knew exactly what had happened, because she’d heard from Sev that he was attacked by a werewolf, and she only knew one of those. How Sirius played in, though, she wasn’t sure.  
Remus, of course, didn’t know that Lily knew about his condition. It hadn’t been that hard to figure out, to be honest. Even without Severus’ constant insistence she could have come to her own conclusions. It only went to show all the misconceptions about werewolves, really--Remus was the sweetest and most mellow person Lily knew. Werewolves were supposed to be evil and frightening.  
“Lily,” Alice said. Lily blinked and looked up. The Marauders were gone, and so were Marlene and Hestia. “You’ve been zoned out all morning--are you sure you’re all right?”  
Lily nodded. “Sorry. What do we have first again?”  
“McGonagall dropped off our schedules while you were having a staring contest with your plate.” Alice handed Lily the parchment. “We have Potions together, and we’d better be going if we don’t want to be late.”  
Lily grabbed her bag from where it lay at her feet and slid off the bench, her eyes heavy with exhaustion. This year was going to be a nightmare. 

***

As the bell rang, Slughorn shouted, “Two rolls of parchment about the uses of Amortentia and its history! I also want dangers and potential risks--you’re my seventh years, you know what to do!” As the class groaned, he added. “Due on my desk in two days!”  
Lily’s heart sank. She still needed to sort out some semblance of a patrol schedule and who knew what other homework. Time to use her position as the Favorite to use.  
“Er...excuse me? Professor Slughorn?” She bit her lip and tried to look hopeful but anxious.  
“Yes, m’dear?” Slughorn replied jovially, turning to see her. “Your work was marvelous today, by the way. Not that it isn’t usually!” He winked.  
Lily smiled broadly. “Thank you so much, sir! I don’t know if you’ve heard, I’ve been made Head Girl--”  
“Of course! I didn’t expect it to be anyone less. I had rather hoped you and Mr. Snape would be Head Students together, but alas...” he shrugged. “What can I do for you?”  
“Well, you see, I hate to ask, Professor, I really do.” For a moment Lily was afraid she was laying it on too thick. This was, however, Slughorn. He practically lived for sickeningly sugary butter-ups. “But I’ve got so much work for being Head Girl, and I’m not sure I’ll be able to put as much thought into your essay as I’d like with it all...is it at all possible for me to request an extension? Only by a day, I promise!” Lily bounced on the balls of her feet, her hands twisting in a calculatedly nervous gesture.  
Slughorn smiled genially. “Of course, my dear girl! In fact, take a week. We’ll be working on Amortentia for a while, you won’t be behind. In fact, I don’t think you can be behind!”  
Lily thanked him profusely, then hurried out the door. Transfiguration was in five minutes.  
“You know, Evans, that was quite the Slytherin move.”  
Her head snapped up. Sirius Black was leaning against the wall, as if he’d been waiting for her. “What do you want?” She asked, trying not to sound impatient. “It’s only that I’ve got to hurry off, I’m sorry--”  
Sirius grinned. “You can stop now, Evans.”  
“Right. Get out of my way, Black, I’m running late.”  
“That’s more normal.” Sirius fell into step beside her as she began her way out of the dungeons. “I didn’t think you had it in you, playing on a poor teacher’s affections. James would be proud. He’s rubbing off on you.”  
Lily scoffed. “I’ve always been like this. You just haven’t been stalking me to see it.”  
“True,” Sirius mused. “That’s usually been James’ strategy.”  
“Not that I haven’t enjoyed this chat, but really, what do you want?” Lily came to a halt at the bottom of the staircase that would take her up to the ground floor .  
Sirius laughed. “James is trying to get you to agree on his 100th.”  
“Birthday? You know, I’m really not surprised he’s that old. I always did think he dyed his hair.”  
Lily could have sworn she heard someone inhale in pain. She narrowed her eyes. “You’re never alone, Sirius. Where are your cronies?”  
Sirius looked genuinely offended. “I don’t have cronies. And to answer your question, James has totaled to about 85 times asking you out. He wants you to agree on the hundredth time.”  
“Have you told him it won’t work?” Lily’s eyes were sweeping around the area, though there didn’t appear to be anyone there.  
Sirius shrugged. “You never know.”  
“James is horrible at Quidditch,” Lily said suddenly. Sirius looked surprised, and mildly annoyed, but she couldn’t be concerned with that, she was listening...  
There it was again! That sharp inhale, like she’d insulted--  
Her arm flew out, and grabbed onto something to Sirius’ right.  
“Ow, ow, ow--blimey, Evans, you don’t need to yank--” The invisibility cloak fell away, revealing a sheepish James Potter. Lily did not, however, relinquish her hold on his hair.  
“An invisibility cloak?” She shouted. “Why am I not surprised?”  
Sirius was laughing now, and James was pleading. “Keep your voice down, Evans, not everyone has to know--”  
“I’ve three minutes to get to Transfiguration and now I have to worry about you spying on me under a bloody cloak of invisibility? How long have you had that thing, anyways?”  
“Er...how long ago was my eleventh birthday?”  
Lily gave a small shriek of rage. “Alright...alright...here’s the deal. I’ll keep quiet about...” She waved her hand in James’ general direction. “All that, and you have to write up patrol schedules by tomorrow.”  
“Why tomorrow?” James whined.  
“Because that’s when the bloody meeting is!” Lily’s face was burning red. “You can’t have forgotten!”  
James was smiling again, and it only served to make Lily more angry. “I didn’t forget--I already did it.”  
“When?” Lily demanded.  
“Er. Last night? During patrols.”  
“You were supposed to be patrolling!”  
James waved a hand. “I used the ma--”  
Sirius elbowed him in the stomach, hard. James’ mouth opened and closed a few times, then he said, “The...Mary. Mary helped with rounds.”  
“No she didn’t,” Lily said suspiciously. “She went to the dorm and joined the first day back party the girls always hold. She was in charge of appetizers.”  
“The girls throw parties that we don’t know about?” Sirius demanded. “Why weren’t we invited?”  
“Because our parties are classy,” Lily snapped. “I’ll let you determine how you did or didn’t do your rounds while I head to N.E.W.T.s Transfiguration!”  
James snorted. “I’m coming too, Lils, wait up.”  
Lily, who had already climbed four steps, scowled. “I will very well not wait up, Potter. I’ve got a minute ‘til class.” She turned back around, her long hair swinging behind her, and took the stairs two at a time. At the top she turned one last time. “Good luck with your grand 100.” She slid into her seat as the bell was ringing, and Professor McGonagall awarded James a detention for coming to class two minutes late.


	3. The Map

CHAPTER THREE - The Map

Early in the morning Hogwarts castle was quiet. Ghosts floated through walls undisturbed, and even Peeves the Poltergeist was calm, though he was gluing shut the teacher’s doors. The occasional bang echoed through the halls, though, disturbing the peace. The bangs were coming from the sixth floor, where a certain redhead was taking her frustration out on unsuspecting cupboards.  
“How is it that James catches so many students out of bed?” Lily demanded, opening and slamming closed yet another empty broom closet. “I’m lucky if I get four.”  
“You’d think you had a quota,” Remus said dryly.  
The two hadn’t patrolled together since late sixth year. James had organized patrols so that Lily only had to go out on rounds when filling in for a sick prefect, or once a month to cover for Remus. Two weeks into the school year she hadn’t had to yet, and while Lily hadn’t told James she had figured out about Remus’ ‘furry little problem’, she had a feeling he already knew.   
Remus was supposed to have been patrolling with the fifth year Hufflepuff girl, Aline, but she had to tutor some third year and was forced to miss. Lily was almost glad. Remus was one of the most sensible people she knew, despite his being a Marauder.  
“I’m just frustrated.” Lily peered into an empty classroom. “I think that’s it for this floor. Up or down?”  
Remus shrugged. “Up, I guess.” They ascended the stairs together. “He has his ways.”  
Lily arched an eyebrow. “Ways? Remus, you can’t say something that mysterious and then not follow it up. Now I need to know.”  
“We--well, we really just finished it a year and a half ago, even though it’s been working perfectly since fourth year--” Remus wrung his hands as they reached the fourth floor. “Oh, they’d kill me if they knew I told you.”  
Lily shrugged. “James might. I don’t think Peter has it in him to kill anyone, and Sirius is much too in love with you to harm a hair on your head.”  
Remus blushed scarlet. “I--oh, fine. We have a map.”  
“A map,” Lily repeated. “How frightfully interesting. Pray tell, is it of London? New York? Canterbury?”  
Remus sighed. “Take it down a notch, Lily, I’m getting there.”  
“Sorry.”  
“It’s a map of Hogwarts, you see. With little dots for everyone, you can see them moving around--ten points from Ravenclaw,” he cut himself off suddenly.   
Two fourth year girls looked up from an alcove in which they had been talking seriously in low voices.  
“What--it can’t be after curfew!” One girl paled, tears springing to her eyes. “Oh, Merlin, I had no idea--I’m so so sorry, please don’t take points--”  
Lily narrowed her eyes. “You’re faking.”  
The girl stopped her blubbering and stared at Lily. “H-how did you know?” She hiccoughed.   
Lily smiled smugly. “Your acting is amateur. I won’t tell you how to improve, though, that would be self-defeating. Off to bed with you, before it becomes fifteen points.”  
The two girls scampered off towards Ravenclaw tower.  
“You’re good,” Remus said, sounding impressed.  
Lily shrugged. “When I was younger I wanted to be an actress. Took a few classes and summer camps. Anyways, about this magic map.”  
“Oh, yeah. Basically, we can see anyone on it, exactly where they are in real time. Early last year we had some issues with some of the first years being three hours behind, but we fixed that quick enough...getting the Room of Requirement, though, we still haven’t figured that one out...”  
Lily’s eyes widened. “That’s incredible! Do you have it on you?”  
Remus looked sheepish. “Yes...I bring it on patrols and check it every so often.”  
“You could just stay in one place and go find the people who are out and about, though, like James does, I presume...”  
He shrugged. “I like wandering the castle at night. It’s calming, especially now I have a reason and am not just sneaking around trying not to get caught.”  
Lily laughed. “Can I see it?”  
Remus rummaged in his pocket for a second, then drew out a blank piece of parchment.  
Lily stared at it. “It’s not very impressive,” she said.  
“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good,” Remus said, tapping the parchment with his wand.   
“It’s amazing,” Lily breathed, watching the swirling black ink form rooms and classrooms and the tiny forms of people, most sleeping in their rooms, but some wandering, like... “What’s Sirius doing in the library at this hour?” she asked, surprised. “What’s he doing in the library at all?”  
Remus laughed. “When he needs books he’ll often steal them from the library at night. Doesn’t want to tarnish that reputation of his, but also enjoys being at the top of the class.”  
Lily laughed. “He’s being ridiculous. No one would judge him.”  
Remus stared at her, a small smile on his lips.  
“Okay, everyone would judge him,” she admitted. “Hey, aren’t those two sixth years dating?”  
Remus looked closer. “Yep. In that broom closet...ew. Listen, I got the last one. I think it’s only fair you get this one...”  
Lily made a face. “I’m just gonna bang on the door.”  
“I think that’s what they’re doing, to be honest.”  
Lily made a gagging sound. “You’re as bad as Potter and Black.”  
Remus smiled apologetically. “They’re terrible influences, I know.” He tapped the map once more, muttering “Mischief managed” and then folded it up and replaced it in his pocket. “Now, go on and interrupt them.”  
Lily knocked on the door. There was no response, so she knocked louder.  
“What?” a voice responded irritably.  
“Let’s see,” Lily said in her most authoritative voice. “Who’s in there...I think, if I’m correct, I’ll be taking ten points from Slytherin and ten from Ravenclaw. Am I right?”  
The same voice responded sullenly, “Yes.”  
“Do you need a few minutes or are you going to come out now?” Remus asked, clearly trying not to laugh.  
Two voices conferred quietly. “If you leave we’ll be out in a minute.”  
“Okay,” Lily said. “And if you’re not, we’ll know. We’ll be back to check up on you.”  
The prefect and the Head Girl stepped away, not able to contain their laughter anymore.  
“I don’t know about you, but I’m not going back there,” Remus gasped, his eyes shining. “I’d rather not look either of them in the eye tomorrow, either.”  
Lily yawned, still giggling. “I’m absolutely knackered. Think Hogwarts will still be standing if we turn in early? I want about three hours of sleep before classes tomorrow.”  
The two returned to the Gryffindor common room together, both in good moods despite the fact that it was nearly three in the morning and they hadn’t gotten any sleep.  
Remus bade her a goodnight as they parted in the common room, Lily off to the girls’ dorms and Remus to the boys’.   
Lily fell asleep thinking about the map, and how genius it was. She honestly couldn’t believe a prat like James Potter could have pulled something like that off. Of course, James Potter didn’t seem like such a prat recently.   
Unbeknownst to her, something was changing. Outside the walls of the castle, of course, a war was brewing. Some would say it had already begun. But even within the walls, the Slytherins and the Gryffindors were readying themselves for a rivalry that would put all others to shame. 

 

***

“The map, the map,” Lily muttered. “Need the map...” she skidded to a halt outside the Fat Lady’s portrait.  
“Where are you going in such a rush?” The Fat Lady looked surprised at Lily’s flushed face and messy hair.  
“I’m sorry, some of my friends are in trouble--Mandragora.” She would really have to start thinking of more interesting passwords, Lily thought as the portrait swung open. That’s really not a priority right now, though, she chided herself as she sprinted for the boy’s dormitories, panting when she reached the Head Boy’s room at the top. She tugged at the handle, but of course it was locked and password protected like her own.  
“Wonderful,” she muttered. “Password, password...er...Snitch?”   
The door remained firmly shut.  
“Marauders. Invisibility Cloak. Sirius. James. Peter. Remus. Er...Moony? Padfoot. Prongs. Wormtail. Damn it, damn it, damn it...” Lily began pacing. She could only imagine what would happen to Sirius when his brother and his wannabe Death Eater friends confronted him. “Quidditch. Quaffle. Gryffindor.” A thought occurred to her. If James’ mind worked in the same way as hers... “Lily,” she said. “Evans.”  
There was a click.  
“Evans?” she said aloud. “Really?”  
She didn’t wait long, instead bursting right in. His room was identical to hers, if a little messier. The map was blank, lying inconspicuously on his dresser. Thank Merlin she didn’t have to dig through his knicker drawers to find it.  
“I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.” She tapped the map with her wand, and black lines spread from the point of contact. She sat on James’ bed and scanned it. Not in the Astronomy tower, not in the Kitchens...wait, that was him! James Potter, in the common room. In the boy’s dormitory? But that wasn’t possible, she was--  
“Evans?” James stood in the doorway, looking shocked.   
Lily looked up. “Oh. Hi.”  
“What are you--who told you how to work the map? How did you--do you know my password?”  
His cheeks were bright red. It would have been amusing, had the circumstances been different.  
Lily’s heart was pounding. “If it makes you feel any better, my password is Potter.” She froze. “I suppose I’ll have to change it now.”  
“Right,” he said weakly. “And the map?”  
“Remus,” she said simply. “I needed it for a reason--Sirius is following his brother.”  
James raised an eyebrow. “Lily, he does that all the time. Likes to keep an eye on him.”  
Lily shook her head. “No, I heard Sev--Snape saying, they know. They think Sirius has been spying on them, so they’re leading him to a trap. I needed to find you, find him...not necessarily in that order,” she said breathlessly.  
James pulled something out of his pocket. It seemed like an ordinary, silver-backed round mirror. “Sirius Black,” he said into it.  
Lily thought he’d finally lost it. “Potter?”  
“Prongs?” Sirius’ voice was coming from the mirror. Lily hurried over, but she didn’t see herself reflected in it. Instead she saw a very exasperated looking Sirius Black. “Oh, brill. Do you have to show her all our secrets?”  
James scowled. “Get out of there, Padfoot. It’s a trap.”  
“What? It can’t be, they don’t know I’m--” Sirius in the mirror looked up. “Shit. It’s a trap.”  
“I TOLD YOU,” James yelled into the mirror, before stuffing it into his pocket and pulling out his wand. “Come on,” he said grimly.   
In the common room, Lily spotted Marlene chatting animatedly with Aaron McKinnon. “Marlene!” she yelled. “I need you. Now.”  
Marlene looked up.   
James scowled. “Don’t tell her, too, Merlin, Lily.”  
“No, you’ll see--Marlene! Now!”  
Marlene said a quick apology to Aaron and hurried over, following Lily and James out. “What?” she said irritably. “He was about to ask me to Hogsmeade--”  
“I need you to get Madam Pomfrey.”  
“You can’t,” James said. “She’ll give us all detention if she thinks we’ve been fighting--”  
“I’ll talk you out of it,” Lily said. “I volunteered in the Hospital Wing last year during flu season--she loves me. Marley, go get Pomfrey.”  
Marlene looked nervous, her anger having evaporated. “Where should I send her?”  
“Dungeons,” James said. “Near the Slytherin common room.”  
Marlene hurried off without another word.  
“Thank you!” Lily called after her.  
“Come on, Evans.” James began down the stairs. “Though you should’ve gotten Pomfrey, I can deal with this...”  
Lily had turned left. “Where are you going?” she demanded.  
“Lily, this is really not the time--”  
“There’s a secret passage to the dungeons here,” she insisted. “I use it when I’m running late.”  
James sighed, inching down the stairs. “It’s blocked off,” he said impatiently. “I know it’s supposed to go there, but it doesn’t, trust me.”  
“It does, though,” Lily said. “You just need to ask politely.” She hurried over to the snoozing portrait of an old witch and swung it open, climbing through the opening behind it. James was behind her, albeit looking dubious.   
A few feet into the passage a large boulder and several bricks were blocking it.  
“See?” James said. “I told you. We’re wasting--”  
“Excuse me,” Lily said in her best prefect voice. “Could you please let us pass? We’re rather in a hurry.”  
The boulder rumbled, rolling aside and and shrinking until it was the size of a pebble. Lily darted forward, ducking as the roof sloped down. Her shoes skidded as the tunnel angled downwards.   
“I must say I’m impressed,” James said in a strangled voice behind her. “I never thought to do that.”  
“And that’s why we work well together,” Lily said, the darkness hiding her blush. “Here.” She shoved aside the tapestry that blocked this side, and jumped out, James right behind her.   
Sirius seemed to be holding his own, she thought as they rounded the corner and found him engaged in a three-on-one duel.  
He seemed to have a broken arm and there were bruises on his face, but he was still laughing. “Cowards,” he called. “Can’t even make it a fair fight.”  
“It’s fair now,” Lily said, shooting a nonverbal stunning spell at Mulciber. Avery and Nott looked at her, their wands lowering and lips curling in sync. “Don’t say it,” Lily warned. James and Sirius hung back behind her, unsure of what to do.  
“Where’s Regulus,” she heard James mutter.  
“He’s already in the common room,” Sirius responded through a swollen lip. “Didn’t want to fight me.”  
Avery was scowling. “So. You think you can take on both of us?”  
Lily smiled. “I’ve been wanting some revenge since Mulciber cursed my best friend two years ago and got off with nothing more than a smack on the wrist, yes.” She flicked her wand, and ropes flew out of it, binding Avery and Nott together before they could raise their wands.  
“You filthy mudblood,” Nott muttered.   
Lily walked slowly up to him, then crouched down. She could hear Marlene’s panicked voice and Madam Pomfrey’s footsteps. They had to be nearby. “You don’t really mean that,” she said softly.  
Nott spat at her, a mixture of saliva and blood.   
James started forward, a growl rising in his throat.  
Lily smiled calmly. It was a dangerous, sickening smile. She drew back her fist and punched Nott in the face, feeling his nose crack. Her hand was immediately drenched in blood. Her stomach lurched at the sight, and at the pain in her knuckles.  
She quickly stood, sent two more stunning spells at Nott and Avery, Vanished the blood on her hand, and shot a stinging hex at her own arm, bringing tears to her eyes. “Admit it,” she said to Potter as he stared on in confusion. “You need me.” She turned just as Madam Pomfrey rounded the corridor, Marlene hot on her heels.   
“What in Merlin’s name happened here?” Madam Pomfrey demanded, her round eyes sweeping the scene in shock.  
Lily burst out sobbing, aided by the tears her stinging hex had brought on. “M-Madam P-P-Pomfrey,” she blubbered. “Th-they attacked me--they called me a m-mud--” she broke down into sobs. “They shot sp-spells at me--”  
Marlene, recognizing Lily’s tactic, spoke up. “James sent me to find you as soon as he heard, Madam Pomfrey,” she said earnestly.   
“S-Sirius and J-James saved me,” Lily said, her chest heaving.   
Madam Pomfrey examined the Gryffindors critically. “You seem fine, other than a nasty stinging hex, Miss Evans,” she said. “As for you, Mr. Black, you need to come with me immediately. Potter, help him up there, then get Professor Dumbledore.”  
James, who had been staring at Lily’s display in amazement, quickly shook himself. “What? Oh--right. Come on.” He threw Sirius’ arm around his shoulders and guided him back towards the passageway.   
Marlene enveloped Lily in a hug as Madam Pomfrey bent down to examine the incapacitated Slytherins. “The two idiots didn’t do anything, did they?” She spoke softly into Lily’s ear, so only the two of them could hear.  
Lily smiled. “Nope.”  
“I recognized a Lily-escape when I saw one. Madam Pomfrey,” she said, raising her voice. “I’m going to accompany Lily up to the Hospital Wing.”  
“Very good,” Pomfrey said. “Miss Evans, make sure Mr. Black stays in the Hospital Wing and does not run off as usual.”  
Lily attempted a weak smile. “Y-yes, Madam Pomfrey.”  
As the two girls exited the passageway near the Gryffindor common room they burst out laughing.  
“Potter and Black just stood there, gaping!” Lily was leaning on Marlene, overcome with giggles.  
“Did you shoot yourself in the arm, too?” Marlene asked in disbelief. “Merlin, Lily, you know how to commit to a role...”  
Lily shrugged. “Sorry for dragging you away from Aaron.” She raised her eyebrows. “Think if you go back in he’ll still ask you to Hogsmeade?”  
Marlene laughed. “He’s been in love with me since the beginning of sixth year--I think so. You should probably get up to the Hospital Wing, though,” she said as they came to a halt outside the Fat Lady’s portrait. “Wouldn’t want to raise suspicions.”  
Lily gave Marlene one last hug before heading back down to the first floor. Her arm really did hurt, her Stinging Hexes were always strong. Potter could probably attest to that, as she’d hit him with his fair share of them.   
“Evans!” A voice cried upon her entry to the Hospital Wing. Black had accosted her with a bear hug, then pulled away grinning. “I honestly didn’t know you had it in you.”  
“You’re awfully perky,” Lily frowned. “Shouldn’t you be moaning in pain right now?”  
“Nah, Prongs fixed me up before he left for Quidditch practice. We’ve gotten good with healing spells--sorry about my git of a brother’s friends, by the way. You really shouldn’t have tagged along.”  
Lily smiled. “It’s really lucky for you I did.”  
Sirius shrugged. “I’ll admit it. I’d probably be slime mold right now if you hadn’t shown up.” He returned to the bed he must have been previously occupying.   
Lily sat next to him, a thought occuring to her. “So. When did this whole ‘grand 100’ thing begin?”  
Sirius grinned. “Oh, Merlin, a while ago. You might consider saying yes, when the time comes, if only to see the look on his face.”  
“I might consider it,” Lily said, trying not to blush. “It depends. I think he’s finally knocked me off the pedestal he’s put me on for the past few years, and thank God for that.”  
“Fear of heights?” Sirius teased.  
Lily stuck out her tongue. “Well, it seems like we’ll be here for a while. Please, tell me the story about how James decided to win my heart.”  
“Okay,” Sirius said. “You might want to get some popcorn. Or chocolate frogs. It’s not as straightforward as you’d think.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm back!!! thanks for waiting. i hope it was worth it!! :)


	4. 99 1/2

CHAPTER FOUR - 99 1/2

_Fourth Year_

“What do you think?” James muttered. The four Marauders were huddled in the Entrance Hall, contemplating the small figure that was Lily Evans at the edge of the Hogwarts grounds.  
“I’d say go for it,” Peter said encouragingly. “The worst she can say is no.”  
Sirius scowled. “She could say a lot worse than no, Pete.”  
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” James said sarcastically. “I think I will, though. Wish me luck.”  
“Good luck!” Remus and Peter called after him. Sirius stayed quiet.

“Hey, Evans!”  
Lily turned around. It was the last day of school, and she was thrilled to be going home. She missed watching telly with her mum and Petunia, and she missed having Sev around every day. She was thrilled to be back in her own room in her own bed, and thrilled to wear muggle clothes and not her school uniform for once.  
She was not as thrilled to see James Potter chasing after her, his trunk abandoned in the Entrance Hall as he tried to catch her before she boarded the Thestral-drawn carriages.   
“Yes, Potter?” She asked. Marlene and Hestia were already in a carriage, and she could see Alice and Frank get into their own ahead of them. Their hands were intertwined.  
James followed her gaze. “It’s sweet, isn’t it,” he said, breathing heavily from having run to see her. “They just got together last month but they act like they’ve been together forever.”  
“Yes, Potter?” Lily asked again.  
He coughed. “Oh, yeah. I was wondering...over the summer. Want to go to Hogsmeade with me?”  
Lily arched an eyebrow. “Hogsmeade.”  
“Yep.”  
“Over the summer.”  
“Yep.”  
Lily sighed. “Tell me, Potter, can you Apparate.”  
“Not legally and not without Splinching myself, no.”  
Lily winced. “And does the Hogwarts Express run during the summer?”  
“Not usually, no.”  
“Then how, pray tell, do you suggest getting to Hogsmeade?”  
Potter frowned, his hand in his hair again. “I hadn’t thought of that.”  
Lily let out an exasperated sigh. “Stop wasting my time, Potter, I want to get a good compartment.” She lifted her trunk onto the back of the carriage and joined Hestia and Marlene. “Where’s Mary?” she asked as Hestia shut the door and the carriage started forward with a jolt.  
“Went down with her boyfriend, I think she said she was going to break up with him. I don’t remember his name. What did Potter want?”  
Lily made a face. “To ask me out, I think.”  
“You think?” Marlene looked confused.  
“It was unclear,” Lily admitted.  
“That’s weird,” Hestia said.  
“Really weird,” Marlene agreed. “When Aaron McKinnon asked me out he was at least explicit in that it was only to make Bertha Jorkins jealous.”

Sirius Black had joined his best friend as the latter watched the horseless carriage that carried Lily Evans away, a morose expression on his handsome face.   
“One,” Sirius said.  
James looked at him. “What?”  
“I’m going to keep count,” Sirius said. “That was number one.”  
James smiled. “You really think I’m going to ask that many times?”  
“I just don’t think you’re going to give up.”

_Fifth Year_

“Oi, Evans! Go out with me?”  
“For the TENTH time, Potter!” Lily yelled down the marble staircase. “No!” She was weighed down by the stress of her upcoming O.W.L.s, and her quickly waning friendship with Severus, and this was not a welcome distraction. She was on the verge of tears and was about ready for a mental breakdown.   
Sirius, at the bottom of the stairs with James, tilted his head. “Actually, it’s fifteen. Evans, the least you can do is take these flowers. He ordered fifteen bouquets of lilies--”  
“One for every year you’ve been alive!” James said desperately, struggling to be seen over all the flowers he carried.   
“They’re heavy,” Remus said imploringly, his arms also full of flowers.  
Lily rolled her eyes, trying to keep her voice even. “This is getting pathetic, Potter. Dispose of your own flowers.”  
As she stormed away, James looked to his fellow Marauders for support.  
“By fifty,” Peter said encouragingly. “She’ll have to say yes by fifty.”  
Back in her dorm room, with Mary’s arms around her, Lily allowed herself to cry. “I just c-can’t deal with this on top of everything else,” she sniffed.   
Mary patted her back. “Of course, dear. And Severus will come around, he’ll stop hanging around with those evil gits soon enough.”  
“I wish things were simpler,” Lily said, her face pressed to Mary’s shoulder. “I wish James bloody Potter didn’t have to make my life harder.”  
“I know,” Mary said soothingly.   
“By fifty,” Lily reasoned. “He’ll have to stop by fifty.”

 

_Sixth Year_

“No, Potter, I will not go out with you.”  
“I haven’t even asked yet!” James shouted across the Great Hall.  
It was Christmas morning, and the castle was nearly empty. James, Sirius, Peter, and Lily were the only sixth years still in the castle.   
“Does that count as forty-nine?” Peter mused. “Since she turned him down but he didn’t ask...”  
“I’ll count it,” Sirius said, loading bacon onto his plate.  
“I will too,” James said. “In that case...for my grand fifty.” He stood on the table, causing Dumbledore to look up with a smile from where he sat at the head. James raised his wand, and the sparks spelled out in sparkling green, ‘LILY EVANS WILL YOU GO OUT WITH ME’.  
Lily stepped closer to the table, her eyes flashing. “No.”  
“Come on, Lily,” Peter said. “He won’t shut up about you.”  
“No,” she said furiously. “Leave me alone!”  
“I think,” Sirius said, “You may--just may--be fighting a losing battle there, mate.”  
Peter patted James on the shoulder as he sat back down looking dejected. “You could do the thing where you turn into a huge deer,” he said in hushed tones. “That could impress her.”  
“It’s hopeless,” James said.  
“Cheer up, mate, it’s Christmas,” Sirius said. “Have some cake for breakfast, ooh, or Christmas biscuits! What do you want?”  
“I want Lily.”  
“Yes, well, that’s cannibalism, mate, might want to hold off on that...”

_Seventh Year_

“James Potter, will you go out with me?”  
“Shit,” Sirius muttered from where he hid behind the tapestry. “Do we count that as one hundred or no? Because he didn’t ask her. She asked him.”  
Remus frowned. “We could ask James. It’s really his decision.”  
“I think he’d be more concerned that we’re hiding behind a tapestry while Lily asks him out, really,” Peter said sensibly.   
“Do you think he said yes?” Sirius said in a mocking breathless voice.  
Remus swatted him. “Quiet, prat, he’ll hear.”  
“I’m putting it down as 99 and a half,” Sirius decided. 

But more on that last one later.


	5. Mrs. Potter

CHAPTER FIVE - Mrs. Potter

_Dear Lily,  
I was so surprised when Tuney said she hadn’t written you yet! I told her you’d be thrilled, but she just shrugged--you know how she gets. Anyways, Vernon was over for dinner and asked for my blessing! Petunia was simply beaming, I wish you could have seen it...the engagement party is going to be held after the New Year, January 2nd. Be sure to invite Marlene and Mary, I love having them over. Are you sure you don’t swing that way? One of them would make a lovely daughter-in-law.  
Write back soon, Lils, you know I love hearing about your adventures at school.   
Love,  
Mum_

Lily folded up her mother’s letter, shaking her head. After assuring her mother that, regretfully, she was not a lesbian, she included her congratulations for her sister’s engagement and sent off her response with Mercury.  
She could not hide her disappointment at not having been told by Tuney directly, however. Once again thankful for her own room, Lily collapsed on her bed and drew her Charms textbook towards her. List three uses of an anti-Apparition charm...There was one on Hogwarts, she knew, and presumably around Azkaban, but she’d need to look that up...sighing, she realized she could not put off a trip to the library any longer.   
Grabbing the list off her bedside table, she gave it a once-over. Beside each book she had written a small note for herself, and reading it again made her smile.  
_\- Hogwarts, A History (Alice stole mine)  
\- Fowl or Foul? A Study of Hippogriff Brutality (why did I take C.O.M.C. again?)  
\- A Vampire’s Monologue by Amarillo Lestoat (Armadillo)  
\- Jinxes for the Jinxed (I don’t understand the title of this.)  
\- Quidditch Through the Ages (I suppose I should finally figure out what Potter’s on about half the   
time if I’m going to be friends with him)_  
Lily didn’t know what book would have information on Apparition, but decided to just get the ones she did know and ask Madam Pince, the librarian, for more. Her list clutched in her hand, she slipped out of her room. It was about 4:30, so she should have time to get the books and return to the common room before dinner. She had a prefect meeting at 8, she remembered as she passed the sixth year Gryffindor prefect on her way out the portrait hole, and didn’t want to be late.   
As she hurried down the stairs from the seventh floor to the third, she spotted Remus Lupin coming towards her, the books in his arms an indicator of where he was coming from, Peter next to him.  
“I told you,” Remus was saying. “Bubotuber pus is dangerous--lining Slughorn’s dinner jacket with the stuff isn’t funny, it’s lethal.”  
“It’s a little funny,” Peter said, smiling.  
“Remus!” Lily called, skidding to a halt in front of the two boys. “I need you do me a favor.”  
He tilted his head. “Can I do it when my hands aren’t full?” He nodded towards the heavy books he carried. “I can’t do much of anything right now, sorry.”  
Lily shook her head. “I’m going to be in my room doing homework. At around a quarter to eight would you mind terribly fetching me? I know I’ll be late if I’m left to my own devices.”  
“Lily, you know I can’t get into the girls’ dorms.”  
The Head Girl laughed. “I know you four have been able to since the second year.”  
A smile tugged at Remus’ lips. “That is true,” he admitted. “I’ll get you. Won’t you have dinner though?”  
Lily shrugged. “Haven’t been hungry. Thanks so much, Remus. I owe you.” She jumped the last two stairs and made a left, down the corridor towards the library.  
She disappeared into the stacks, breathing in the musty smell of books. Her fingers skipped over the leather spines, tugging one out every so often. She could have easily cast an Accio charm and been done in seconds, but she enjoyed being surrounded by books. It wasn’t that she was obsessed with reading, she much preferred to watch movies (though that was really not an option at Hogwarts), it was the smell that soothed her. Books and old parchment reminded her of her father.   
As she ran her fingers over the cover of Jinxes for the Jinxed (she still didn’t understand the title) she thought of her father, how he used to draw her and Petunia onto his lap and read to them, or sometimes just tell them stories. The ones about magic always fascinated Lily, because she had been desperate to find some explanation to why she could make flowers grow or hover over the ground. Petunia used to love the stories too, and--  
And she wasn’t thinking about Petunia.  
Lily moved hastily, grabbing the books she needed quickly to avoid reminiscing any more than she already had. Thinking about the past was dangerous; you wish you could change everything but you can’t change a thing.  
She consulted Madam Pince about a book on Apparition, and the librarian gladly handed her three more thick books to add to her growing stack. For some reason the woman hated Lily less than the rest of the student body.  
Lily was afraid her arms would give out after the first flight of steps. For Merlin’s sake, she’d only made it to the fourth floor! She still had three to go!  
She set the stack down on the floor. “Wingardium Leviosa,” she muttered. The books lifted an inch or two off the ground. That was no good, they kept bumping against the bottom stair. What was the feather-light charm? Lily could never remember. It was nearly 5:30, she’d spent about an hour searching in the library, the stairs would be flooded with Gryffindors who would watch their hopeless Head Girl fail at the simplest charms.  
Lily gathered the books up and propped them against the wall with one arm, casting the hovering charm again so they floated just barely off the tops of her arms. Satisfied with her solution, Lily continued up to the seventh floor, then paused again outside the portrait hole. She knew she should have gone to the library ages ago, to avoid having to carry them all at once. Climbing through the raised hole was a struggle on a good day, she had no idea how she would do it today.  
“Unicorn hair,” Lily told the Fat Lady, who smiled as she swung forward.  
Luck would have it that Hestia was on her way out.   
“Hestia!” Lily sagged with relief. “I need your help.”  
Hestia took the top four books, leaving Lily with a far more manageable five. “Yeah--do you really need all of these?” Hestia flipped through the titles as she accompanied Lily to her room. “Three books on Apparition is a bit much for one Charms essay, don’t you think?”  
“I also need to study for my test!” Lily protested.  
“Yes, but dear, that’s not until spring.”  
Lily ignored this, and insisted that she take the books back when they reached her room.  
Hestia arched an eyebrow. “Do you not want me to know your password?”  
“It’s personal,” Lily said.  
Hestia sighed. “You’re so weird.” She made to return to the common room, before turning back around. “Lily, you didn’t have lunch today. Are you sure you’re feeling alright?”  
Lily nodded. “Thanks, but I’m fine. I won’t be at dinner, either, by the way. Doing homework. Apologize to Marlene for me, would you? I told her I’d help her study for Potions.”  
“Marlene won’t be there,” Hestia reminded her. “Quidditch tryouts are tonight, remember?”  
“Damn, I didn’t,” Lily said. “Wait, does that mean Potter won’t be at the prefect meeting tonight?”  
Hestia shrugged. “I suppose we’ll have to see how late it runs. Oh, and Lily, your door just unlocked. You might want to reinforce the spell.”  
Lily swore under her breath, before nudging it open with her toe and dumping the books on her bed.

***

The owl was tapping insistently against the window.  
James was trying to actually do homework for once, so this interruption was not very welcome. He recognized the owl as his father’s, however, and realized that he would be expected to reply quickly. With a sigh, he pushed himself off his bed and opened the window. The owl, which his father had named Solomon, flew across the room to his desk and sat there, hooting impatiently. James tugged the letter from the owl’s feet and opened it.

_Dear James,_  
I wanted you to hear from me before you saw in the papers. I don’t know how to say this, I really don’t, but James, you have to understand. 

“Prongs!” Peter was knocking on his door.   
James looked up. “Yeah, give me a minute.”  
“Okay, but if we want to get there before transformation we’re going to have to hurry.” Peter’s footsteps disappeared.  
James was a bit worried. His father’s handwriting was messy, and his syntax was not as composed as it usually was.

_Your mother has been at St. Mungo’s for the past several days. We didn’t tell you because we didn’t want you to worry, and I understand that you’re probably annoyed at me. I don’t blame you, James, I should have known._  
It was Dragon Pox, in the late stages. The Healers did everything they could, but your mother passed away early this morning.  
I’m so sorry, James. I’ve told Dumbledore, and he said that if you want to come home for the funeral then he’ll arrange a portkey.  
I’ll see you soon.  
Love,  
Dad 

The parchment fell from James’ hands and floated the floor, landing with the words facing up. He stumbled back, the bed nudging the backs of his knees so he fell into a sitting position. The words seemed burned into the backs of his eyelids. Every time he blinked he could see it: your mother passed away early this morning.  
Dumbledore had known. He’d known since earlier, James presumed.   
James was suddenly filled with so much anger at the old Headmaster his hands shook and his vision tunneled. All he could see was the parchment lying on the floor, bearing his father’s signature. Dumbledore had known and never told him, all day.  
His mother’s face intruded on his vision. What had been the last thing he’d said to her? What was the last thing she’d said to him? He couldn’t remember. The sound of her voice was already faded from his memory. She had written him three days ago...  
Suddenly James was tearing the drawers of his desk open, throwing discarded letters and empty ink bottles all over his room. The letter had to be somewhere, unless he’d thrown it out...his eyes were burning.   
He refused to let himself think of his mother. He didn’t want to go to the funeral, he didn’t want to be surrounded by elderly witches and wizards who’s eyes were full of sympathy. His head filled with rage at the thought of sympathy--he didn’t need it. Didn’t want it.   
James didn’t want anyone to know. But Sirius--Sirius had to know. Dorea had been a mother to him for the past two years, he deserved to know...had James’ father written to Sirius?  
And Remus...Remus was in the Shrieking Shack, waiting for him.   
Being Prongs would help him forget, he told himself. Thinking could wait. He just needed to run, and forget all about the letter.

Running as a stag was so much more fulfilling than running as a human. His thoughts were more clear and he could hear everything. Living in the moment had never been easier.  
Of course, he wasn’t alone, as he might have preferred. At least keeping a werewolf in check gave him something to do, to take his mind off...everything.  
The sun was going to come up soon, though. He was more attuned to these things as a stag, and he nudged Padfoot to let him know. Wormtail hurried back to the Whomping Willow and pressed the knot in the roots, allowing the other three to descend.   
James and Sirius emerged and joined Peter, the three of them back in human form. Madam Pomfrey would be down soon to collect Remus, and he had to be alone. They always met him in the hospital wing at six o’clock sharp.  
“We should get about three hours of sleep if we get up to the tower in the next five minutes,” Peter informed them. “Let’s hurry.”  
James had successfully forgotten all about the letter that awaited him on the floor, but upon saying “Evans” to unlock his door it all came rushing back.  
He fell to the floor, the parchment back in his hands, and finally let the tears come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Ask and you shall receive! Here's another chapter. Leave me comments! I love to hear what you think.
> 
> Love ya!  
> Alys


	6. Letters

CHAPTER SIX - Letters

James went home for his mother’s funeral. Sirius accompanied him. As usual when something happened to one of the Marauders, the entire school felt as they did. Hogwarts laughed as they did, wept as they did, and grieved as they did. The pranks had stopped, and Professor Slughorn’s dinner jacket remained thankfully devoid of Bubotuber pus.  
Lily dismissed the next prefect meeting as soon as she could. As much as she had wished before for James to go away, now that he was gone she actually found herself missing him. She was worried about him, and the revelation shocked her. She’d lost her father when she was nine, and she knew how the loss of a parent felt.  
Three days after James had gone home, Marlene, Mary, Hestia, and Alice had set up a game of gobstones and were attempting to coax Lily, who was buried in a stack of paperwork, into playing.  
“I just can’t concentrate,” Lily told them. “What if he does something irresponsible while he’s away? I can’t keep an eye on him while he’s in London!”  
Marlene rolled her eyes. “Lily. Just write to the boy if you’re so concerned.”  
Alice grinned up at Lily from where she sat in front of the fire, her back leaning against the arm of the sofa. “I’ve heard some of the Hufflepuffs have started placing bets as to whether or not you’ll snog Potter when he comes back.”  
“Who?” Lily snarled. “I may or may not disembowel them.”  
As Alice roared with laughter, Hestia said consolingly, “If it makes you feel any better, most of them think it will just be out of pity.”  
Lily groaned. “I think I will write to him.”  
“Come on, Lily,” Marlene protested. “Do it later! We rarely see you anymore, it’s like you’ve forgotten about us--”  
“I’m busy,” Lily snapped. “I have to log every single point deduction by Tuesday, and the Slytherin prefects keep taking off for the stupidest things, so I have to go add them back--and I’m in charge of planning Hogsmeade weekends, we really need one coming up--oh, and I need to keep track of who scheduled the Quidditch pitch, which James was supposed to do, but then his mum had to go and snuff it--” Lily broke off, covering her mouth as she realized what she’d said.  
Mary raised an eyebrow. “You don’t mean that.”  
Lily shook her head, her hand still pressed to her mouth as if she couldn’t trust what came from it.  
“You’re clearly overworked,” Hestia said, sounding disgusted. “Why the teachers can’t do some of this bloody work themselves, I have no idea.”  
Marlene sighed. “Give us the point deduction forms. We’ll look over them, you turn in early.”  
Lily shook her head furiously, her mouth still covered.  
“Lils,” Mary said exasperatedly. “We’re going to help you. You can’t do anything if you’re stressed and sleep-deprived.”  
“I do need your notes from History of Magic,” Alice said as an afterthought. “Mind if I hang on to those?”  
Lily nodded, finally lowering her hand. “Thank you,” she said hoarsely, standing and handing over the stack of papers. “I love you all. I don’t--I’m going to bed,” she said finally. “Good night.”  
“Night, dear,” Mary called after her. “I’m worried,” she said in a low voice once the redhead had departed. “She’s not in her right mind.”  
Marlene shrugged. “She’s always been a bit mental.”  
“Hey, didn’t you say Aaron McKinnon asked you to Hogsmeade?” Alice nudged the blonde girl. “How could he do that if he didn’t know when the next Hogsmeade visit was? Lily said she hasn’t picked a date yet--”  
Marlene waggled her eyebrows. “He said he’d keep his schedule open for me.”  
“Do you still like him?” Hestia wanted to know. “I know you fancied him something mad back in fourth year, but...”  
“I’ve turned over a new leaf,” Marlene declared. “He’s an utter sweetheart. Even apologized about the whole Bertha Jorkins mess! He admitted she was a bint, we had a laugh about that...”  
The conversation turned to boys, and from there to the untouched game of gobstones that lay before the girls. They played until midnight, when Hestia realized she still had homework and the other girls scurried back to check their own bags for forgotten essays.

***

Lily sat at her desk, quill in hand, a blank piece of parchment in front of her. She had no idea what to say, or even if she should say anything at all. She dipped the quill in the ink, and decided to just go for it.

_Dear Potter,_

She shook her head, crumpling up the paper. Too formal, to be followed by just his last name. Dear James? Too intimate. She finally settled on just Potter.

_Potter,_

Lily was stumped. She thought back to when she was nine. What had she wished someone would say to her? Not sorry. She’d had enough of apologies, false reassurances and claims that he was “in a better place”. None of that helped.

_I want you to know that if you want to talk, I’m here for you._

Lily stared at the line for far too long. Did it seem too much like something that belonged in a Hallmark card? She decided to leave it, because after all, the sentiment was there.

_I know what you’re going through, and I know that sometimes what’s best is to just get away from everything._

What next? Ask him to Hogsmeade? Lily shook her head again, accidentally getting ink drops on her desk and the edge of the parchment. She quickly vanished the ink and returned to her letter.

_Whatever you need, I’m here. Just don’t get the wrong idea, Potter, I know how your mind works._

That could make him laugh, she reasoned. He probably needed a laugh.

_Peter has been desolate in your absence. You should really teach the poor bloke how to survive on his own, I don’t think he’d manage without you for two seconds. Remus is the only thing keeping him from spontaneously combusting, I think, with you and Sirius gone._

It was the truth, after all. Now she just needed a closing...

_Hurry back, you prat, I’m starting to miss you._

_Lily Evans_

She sat back and admired her handiwork. It didn’t seem to bad, in all honesty. She dried the ink, folded it, and placed it in an envelop, printing James’ name neatly on the front. James had probably taken his invisibility cloak with him, so she supposed she’d have to resort to her usual methods to sneak out to the owlry.  
Lily tucked the letter into the pocket of her robes and picked up her wand from where it lay on the desk, heading back down through the now empty common room--how long had she worked on that letter, anyways?--and out into the hallways.  
“Where are you off to?” The Fat Lady asked curiously. “It’s much after curfew, you know. And for the Head Girl!”  
“Well, that’s it precisely,” Lily said apologetically. “I need to run a quick errand, Head business, you know. Keeps me up at all hours, it’s dreadful...I hate to ask, but would you mind terribly staying awake a little longer to let me back in? I shouldn’t be too long, I don’t think.”  
“Of course, dear,” the Fat Lady said sympathetically. “Good luck.”  
“Thank you,” Lily gushed, continuing on her way. Yes, befriending the portraits certainly had its benefits. She only had to duck into an empty classroom to avoid the caretaker, Filch, once. Filch had only started in Lily’s second year, and seemed to hate the students with a passion.  
Upon reaching the Owlry Lily was overcome with the stench of far too many birds cooped up in one place. She called softly for Mercury, and her tawny owl soared down from the rafters to perch on her arm.  
“Hello,” Lily crooned, stroking the bird’s head. “I know it’s late, but I’ve got a letter for you. Think you’re up for it?”  
The owl gave a half-hearted hoot.  
“If you’re not sure, I can find one of the school owls,” Lily said mockingly.  
Mercury hooted indignantly, ruffling his feathers. Lily laughed and drew out the letter, attaching it to his leg. “It’s for James Potter,” she said. “I’m not sure where he lives, but the bigger the house, the higher the chance it’s him.”  
Her owl took off into the night. Lily watched him from the window until he disappeared, then made her way back to the warmth of Gryffindor Tower, her mind slightly more at ease.

***

James received the letter the morning after his mother’s funeral. Upon seeing Lily’s handwriting spelling out his name, his heart gave a little wrench. He had no idea what her letter would contain, but he was sure it would be nothing good. Undoubtedly reprimanding him for having missed school.  
He’d very nearly given up on Lily Evans, to be honest. Most of his schemes to ask her out had been Sirius’ ideas, lately. Sirius seemed more eager for him to date the girl than he was.  
“But you are in love with her,” he would insist.  
James would always roll his eyes. “Mate, I’m not having this conversation with you. I’m not a girl.”  
“No, because if you were, you’d date me.”  
James opened the letter with slightly shaking hands. He could hear Sirius coming up the stairs towards his room, calling something to Mr. Potter over his shoulder.  
His eyes scanned back and forth, reading her neat writing, the way she didn’t dot her eyes, the funny way she wrote her g’s. His face split into a grin and he started to laugh, for the first time in what felt like years but was really years.  
Sirius paused in the doorway. “You alright mate?” he asked uncertainly. “Haven’t lost it, have you?”  
“Maybe,” James admitted. “But that damn girl--” he passed Sirius the letter. “Tell me I’m dreaming, Padfoot. Tell me Lily Evans didn’t just admit she misses me.”  
Sirius grinned. “She did.”  
As the euphoria of the moment faded, James’ mind sunk back to where it had been, his smile fading with it. He’d always ranted to his mother about Lily Evans and how perfect yet infuriating she was...Mrs. Potter had always wanted to meet her. But she wouldn’t, now. She couldn’t.  
Sirius hadn’t yet noticed James’ faltering good mood. He was rereading the letter. “You gonna write back? Moony and Wormtail were going to Floo over, Pete has an extra supply of Floo powder--”  
“I might,” James said, cutting off his best friend. “Tell Remus and Peter I’ll be down in a moment, would you?”  
Sirius nodded, hesitating before going back downstairs. “You sure you’re alright, mate?” He asked.  
Of course not, James wanted to snap. My mother is dead.  
But he didn’t. “Yeah,” he said finally. “Thanks.”  
The other boy nodded slowly, then left James alone.  
James seriously needed to stop thinking so much. Thinking lead to a world of hurt, especially if he thought of the woman who was so prone to bursting into his room unannounced, sending House Elves up with unnecessary tasks for him just to get him out of his room.  
He shook his head a few times to clear it, then grabbed some parchment and scrawled a reply.

_Evans,  
Thanks for the letter. I think you just asked me on a date, by the way, so I’ll take you up on that. We still need to set Hogsmeade dates, so let me know what works for you. Imagine me winking suggestively there, please. _

James counted that as number 93, because technically she hadn’t asked him, he was asking her on the pretense of her having asked him. Logically speaking, of course.

_I’m sure Peter is quite capable of surviving without me, he just chooses not to because I am his favorite and his life would become meaningless without me. You can tell him I said that; he’ll probably agree._  
Tell me, Evans, how is Abbott faring as stand-in Quidditch captain? Is she keeping McKinnon and Gudgeon in line? Gudgeon likes to whine about how the bloody Willow nearly took his eye out impairs his Keeping skills, but he’s just being a prat. Tell her to ignore him if he starts asking for special attention.  
I’m sorry for leaving you alone with Head Duties, I know it’s a strain.  
Is McGonagall suspicious of how quiet the castle has become? I have some rather brilliant pranks for when we get back, assure her she oughtn’t worry.  
All my love,  
James Potter 

James gave the letter another read, decided it was acceptable, and sent it off with his owl just as the other three Marauders burst into his room.  
Remus chucked the two-way mirror at him. “What is the point of having these if you don’t answer them?” He asked, reaching for James’ stash of Honeyduke’s chocolate (third drawer from the bottom, behind the personalized stationary he never used).  
James shrugged. “Sorry, mate, I was busy.” He held out the letter smugly. “Evans misses me.”  
“Of course she does,” Peter said. “She kept pacing around the common room--I was eavesdropping, caught your name and figured it could be important--I think she really cares about you, mate.”  
“Really?” James said eagerly. “What did she say? Exactly. I’ll go get my dad’s Pensieve if you can’t recall exactly.  
Remus looked disapproving. “Peter, I warned you about eavesdropping on Lily as a rat last year. It’s rude and honestly quite disturbing.”  
“He keeps rejecting my ideas,” Peter reported to James and Sirius. “Said putting Bubotuber pus in Slughorn’s robes is irresponsible.”  
Sirius cackled. “That’s brilliant. You should do it.”  
“That’s Evans’ best subject,” James protested. “You can’t hinder her like that--just think. Slughorn ends up in St. Mungo’s, and we get a substitute who isn’t utterly in love with her. We cannot have her fail potions for the sake of a prank. Vetoed.”  
Remus raised an eyebrow. “You think the only reason she’s gotten all Os in Potions is because Slughorn adores her?”  
“No!” James said defensively. “I think a new teacher might be biased against her--think of the possibilities! We could get some Ministry hag who hates Muggleborns, he’d have it out for her from day one--”  
“Why are we talking about Evans,” Sirius interrupted. “Why are we always talking about Evans? Let’s do something else. Let’s play Quidditch.”  
“Remus is rubbish at Quidditch,” Peter complained.  
“So are you,” Remus glowered at the shorter boy. “So can it, Pete.”  
“Usual division?” James asked.  
Whenever the Marauders played their four-person Quidditch, they generally divided into teams of James-and-Peter and Remus-and-Sirius. Thus their skills were balanced, as James was the best and Peter was the worst, and Sirius was almost as good as James but not quite, and Remus was almost as bad as Peter but not quite.  
The four boys nodded their agreement, and gathered brooms from the shed outside by the Potter’s large sweeping gardens.  
They played until the sun went down and Mr. Potter came out to call them in. Remus and Peter needed to get back to Hogwarts before they were really missed; Aaron McKinnon, who was in their year, had agreed to cover for them in the evening, but they couldn’t rely on him for the rest of the night. Someone was bound to notice they were missing.  
Before they left, James handed Peter the map and one of the mirrors. “You can return them tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll be going back then.”  
“Are you sure?” Remus asked. “Dumbledore said you could have up to a week.”  
“Well...” James shifted uncomfortably. “Being here feels wrong. It’s big and it’s empty. I hate to leave Dad alone, but I want to be back. Maybe the teachers will be light on homework...”  
“Wishful thinking,” Sirius said. “I’m going to eat. See you lot later.”  
James bid the other two goodbye before they stepped into the fireplace, following Sirius into the dining room.

***

Later that night as James was getting ready for bed, he received Lily’s response.

_Potter,_  
1\. It was not a date.  
2\. Marlene is doing fine, thank you. She wants to thank you for your advice, says she punched that Gudgeon berk in the eye for whining. Says he’s been manageable ever since, and you might want to try that tactic when you return.  
3\. Did the great James Potter just APOLOGIZE? I cannot believe it.  
4\. My mother sent me some homemade gingersnap biscuits, but I quite honestly hate them and Mary’s on a diet and Hestia doesn’t like ginger and Alice only likes chocolate and Marlene told me to ask you, so...do you want them? I can send them over if you like.  
Cheers,  
Lily Evans 

He grinned. She was tolerating him. She seemed to genuinely like him.

_Lily,_  
That’s fine, I’ll wait. Those gingersnaps sound wonderful, they remind me of you. You don’t need to mail them, though, I’ll be back tomorrow so you can stop fretting about me.  
I know you miss me something dreadful, but really, Evans, pacing? You’re going a bit mad, I think.  
I still love you, though.  
James

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Hey guys! Thanks to everyone who left comments and kudos. Here's chapter six!!  
> Alys


	7. Pranks and Prejudice

CHAPTER SEVEN - Pranks and Prejudice

 

The entire Gryffindor Quidditch team (sans James Potter) lost two galleons each upon their captain’s return to the castle. They all lost the bet of whether Lily would snog him when he finally came back, something Lily was understandably furiously about.

“You bet I would kiss him?” She demanded of Marlene that evening. “How could you?”  
“Everyone was doing it!” The other girl protested, looking up from her Potions homework.

Lily scoffed. “So you’re saying you’re a lemming.”

“I am not a lemon.”

“A lemming, Marlene! Lemming. Not a lemon.” Lily threw her hands up. “I am so done.”

Hestia frowned. “Lily,” she began tentatively. “I think what Marlene is trying to say is--well, her entire team was doing it. If she didn’t, it could have raised suspicion. Also, James could have thrown her off the team.”

“Oh, he wouldn’t do that,” Marlene said reassuringly. “He’d yell at me, sure.”

Hestia scowled. “You’re not helping your case, Abbott.”

Marlene huffed, flipping through the huge Potions book in front of her. “Lily, please tell me you’ve picked a Hogsmeade date. I’m sick of this damn castle. I need to get out.”

“Next weekend,” Lily said dully. “The notices will go up tomorrow.” She tugged her Charms essay towards her. “Where’s Alice? I wanted to see her notes.”

“Out with Frank,” Marlene smirked.

“Of course,” Lily said. “I could go dig through her things, I suppose.”

“That’s an invasion of privacy,” Hestia reminded the Head Girl, looking up from her Defense textbook.

Lily shrugged. “What about Mary?”

“Mary’s out with some Ravenclaw--she told us not to wait up.” Marlene yawned, putting her quill down.

The three girls sat around a table in the Gryffindor common room. The only other occupants were two third year girls and a few fifth year boys, huddled in the corner.

Aaron McKinnon appeared at the bottom of the boy’s staircase, grumbling.

“Did the Marauders kick you out again?” Marlene asked sympathetically.

Spotting the girls, Aaron headed for them, throwing himself down in a chair next to Hestia. “They’re planning something and Sirius doesn’t trust me.” He shook his head. “It’s ridiculous. Potter’s even in there, and he has his own room.” His eyes fell on Hestia’s textbook. “Could I borrow that? Black made me leave my homework in the dorm. Thought I was taking notes, the bastard.”

She smiled, handing it over. “We only have to read chapters six and seven. Slughorn recommended chapter forty-five in Moste Potente Potions, for extended research, if you wanted, and--”

“He doesn’t care,” Marlene interrupted.

Lily glanced up from her Charms essay. “Does anyone have the notes on the Disillusionment charm? I need to compare and contrast it with other methods of invisibility.”

“I know the invisibility cloak was mentioned,” Marlene said, sucking on the end of her quill. “You can usually see the person, with both of them, though. Unless it’s a really high quality invisibility cloak--”

“Or the bloke under it’s just being ridiculously loud,” Lily muttered, scratching down another few sentences. “Thanks, Marl.”

The four worked in silence for a while, only speaking to ask for a book or to borrow some ink.

Lily finally checked her watch at a quarter to eleven. “I’ve got to go to bed,” she said. “Do you reckon I could finish this Transfiguration essay in the morning?”

“Sure,” Hestia said. “I’ll do it too. Come on.” She gathered up her books, leaving the Defense book for Aaron, and followed Lily up the stairs. “Good night,” Hestia called, as she reached the shared 7th year girls’ dorm.

Lily continued up the stairs and muttered, “Potter,” and entered her room to find a letter lying on the desk. The window was open but whatever owl had delivered it was clearly gone.

 

_Lily,_

_My engagement party will be held over your winter vacation, Mum requested it so you could be there. I haven’t told Vernon yet, so don’t do ANYTHING. I mean it, Lily. I can’t have him know yet. The party will be January 6th, and mum says you can bring a few friends. Make sure to tell them to be CAREFUL._

_Petunia_

 

Lily ran a hand over her sister’s neat cursive. Petunia wrote to her once a year at most, and it was always accompanied by a letter of their mother’s. Petunia hated owls. She hadn’t always, but she did now. Her sister’s love of capital letters for emphasis and the swirl at the A of her name were all so familiar but so alien. The letter contained almost nothing of importance but meant a world to Lily.

Her sister had invited her to her engagement party. Her sister had written to her.

Lily grinned and folded the letter, but not before noticing a second slip of paper in the envelope. She tugged it out. There was the letter from her mother, she realized.

 

_Lily,_

_I wanted you to know, so you wouldn’t be confused when you come home for break. I hate to tell you this, I really do, sweetheart, but Petunia did not want you to come to her engagement party._

 

The smile on Lily’s face vanished.

 

_I snuck this letter in with hers when she gave it to me to send to you. I told her to let you bring your friends because I don’t want you to feel lonely, darling. You’re sisters and you’re supposed to be best friends, but I would be naive if I thought that would happen._

_Be nice to your sister. She’s moved out, yes, but I know she misses you terribly. She’s been round the house every week since she got the place on Privet Drive with Vernon. Family comes first, Lily. Grudges can wait for second. Write back, to both of us, please._

_Love,_

_Mum_

 

Lily’s eyes stung with tears. Of course Petunia hadn’t wanted to write to her. Why on earth had she ever though to the contrary?

She scribbled a thank you to her mother and sister, the second one more painful than the first, and slid them into an envelope before setting them on her desk to be mailed out tomorrow morning.

Lily went to bed exhausted, and when she awoke the next morning she didn’t feel any better.

 

***

 

The Hogsmeade trip happened to be the first week of October, so the Marauders were at Zonko’s, stocking up for their usual Halloween pranks.

“No one falls for the acid pops anymore,” Remus was arguing. “They’ve stopped eating any candy we give to them, so there’s no point in wasting our money on them.”

“There’s always the unsuspecting first years,” Sirius argued. “Here, Moony, I’ll buy them. Don’t say chivalry is dead.”

Remus rolled his eyes. “What happened to the plan where we line the pumpkins with Devil’s Snare?”

“Too easy,” James shook his head. “A few light spells and then they’re all dead. It has to be funny, Moony, not just disruptive.”

“I know,” Peter said. “Those jellybeans that make people sound like animals. They look just like Bertie Botts--”

“We can bribe the house elves to put them out on the tables, yeah,” Sirius said enthusiastically.

The four made their purchases, still arguing over whether or not people would eat the acid pops if offered by a Marauder.

“What if Remus gave it to them?” James asked as they made their way to the Three Broomsticks. “Everyone trusts Remus.”

“Moony? Maybe. What about you, Head Boy? I’m sure a few first years don’t know not to trust you yet.”

Someone scoffed behind them. Lily Evans stood there, alone, the pink of her sweater clashing with her hair. “I think everyone knows not to trust you, Potter.” But she was teasing him, her eyes smiling.

“No date, Evans?” James asked quickly.

Lily laughed. “You know I don’t, Potter. The last date I had ended up in the Hospital Wing. Someone force-fed him three Acid Pops.”

“I can’t imagine who could be so cruel,” James said, pretending to look shocked.

“That’s where our last supply went,” Sirius muttered. “I’d been wondering.”

“I bought those,” Remus said indignantly. “Tell us before you waste them next time.”

Lily raised an eyebrow. “I’m surprised none of you have dates.”

“Who says we don’t have dates?” Sirius threw an arm around Remus, who scowled. “Be a bit more sensitive next time, Evans.”

The Head Girl smirked. “I knew it. And if you want a tip? Next time don’t admit so readily you’re the one behind something. It only lets people persecute you with evidence.”

“Your mum’s cookies were wonderful,” Peter said earnestly. “We stole some from James while he was out doing rounds.”

James turned on the boy slowly. “You did what?”

“Thanks, Peter, for proving my point,” Lily said cheerfully. “And thank you. I expect she’ll send more soon, she’s been testing out recipes for my sister’s engagement party...” she trailed off, her expression wavering. “Anyways, I’m meeting Mary and Hestia inside. Lovely seeing you lot.” She turned and waltzed inside the bar, leaving the boys behind to yell at Peter.

 

***

 

“Were you talking to Potter?” Hestia asked, her jaw dropped.

“In a civil fashion?” Mary added, looking just as shocked. “I cannot believe it. Oh, don’t bother getting in line, it’s far too long, I bought you butterbeer when I got up. Just sit.”

Lily accepted the drink gratefully and sat in the booth with her friends. After glancing around, she lowered her voice. “Tuney’s having an engagement party,” she said. “My mum forced her to invite me...” she waved the other girls exclamations of sympathy to extend her invitation: “She said I could bring friends, since she knows Tuney and I don’t get along...”

Mary wrinkled her nose. “Honestly, Lily, I’ve met your sister and her fiancé. I wouldn’t leave you alone with them for a thousand galleons.”

Hestia’s brown eyes filled with sympathy. “I’m sorry, Lily, my family is going to Belize this winter...I’ll write you as often as I can, though.”

Lily smiled. “Thanks.”

Mary's eyes fell on the boys who had followed Lily in and were currently vying for Madam Rosmerta's attention. "Sure there's no one else you might want to invite?" She raised her eyebrows, tilting her chin towards them.

Lily watched Rosmerta call them to the front of the line, much to the vexation of the other customers. The Marauders chatted with the bartender for a moment, then she bustled off to get them their drinks.

"No," Lily said, her eyes still on James, who was laughing at something Sirius had said. "I'm sure."


	8. Halloween

CHAPTER EIGHT - Halloween

 

The Marauders were suspiciously absent from the first half of the Halloween feast. They missed the spectacular display of dancing skeletons that Flitwick put on, and a ghostly barbershop quartet. When they sidled into the room just in time to catch the tail end of Nearly Headless Nick's reenactment of his beheading, Lily waved them over.

"Hi," Peter said cheerfully as he slid in next to her. "What did we miss?"

"A bunch," Lily said, her eyes narrowing. "Where were you? What did you do?"

Sirius waved a hand. "Preparations."

Marlene leaned across the table. "If you've turned our beds into pumpkins again, Black, I'll personally murder you."

Sirius grinned. "Me, repeat a prank? Albeit a wonderful one...never."

"Did you let a troll in?" Alice asked interestedly. "Because if you brought it in through one of those secret passageways in the dungeons, no one would notice until later.

The Marauders exchanges glances. "No," Remus said slowly. "But I am concerned at the level of thought you put into something like that."

"I'm not!" Sirius said airily. "Al, are you sure you're set on dating that Longbottom bloke? I think I might fancy myself in love with you."

Alice laughed as Frank, who sat next to her, scowled.

James hadn't spoken, instead choosing to piles heaps of pumpkin-related foods onto his plate.

"Hungry, are you?" Lily asked.

James shrugged, his eyes darting up to hers briefly. "Just prepared. You should eat up too."

She noticed the other Marauders had filled their plates as well.

"What did you do?" She asked again, this time more curious than accusing.

James shrugged. "You'll see tomorrow like everyone else."

So Lily contented herself to third helpings of her pumpkin shepherd's pie and watched the synchronized flying bats with the rest of the school.

 

***

 

Lily awoke the next morning and sat up cautiously. Nothing seemed immediately amiss--no pumpkins for beds, her skin wasn't orange, and she could hear the faint sounds of Mary singing in the shower as always.

Deciding it was safe to get out of bed, Lily did, and got dressed while she was at it. It wasn't every day one knew when the Marauder's would strike, she thought, and it added an edge of paranoia like a razor blade to her morning routine.

She joined Marlene and Aaron on their way down to breakfast, and listened to their chatting about Quidditch absently. Their hands kept brushing against each other--Lily wondered if one date after years of being acquaintances was enough to cement a relationship. She then found herself wondering what one date after years of enmity would be like.

All ponderings were thrust from her, however, when the three Gryffindors reached the Great Hall.

Instead of the usual eggs and bacon and toast that usually lined all four tables, there were colorful candies and toffees and pastries, piles of cupcakes and one large cake.

"Of course," Lily groaned as they passed under a large scarlet banner. "Peter's birthday."

Only Peter was absent from the festivities. The teachers seemed disinclined to put an end to the clearly unorthodox All Saint's Day celebration, and Dumbledore had even bewitched the lettering on the cake to change color.

Lily, Aaron and Marlene sat near the Marauder trio. "And where is the man of the hour?" Marlene asked.

James smirked. "He'll wake up to an empty dorm."

"Well..." Aaron grimaced. "I woke him up. He's in the shower."

Sirius groaned. "Why'd you wake him up on his birthday? That is cruel and unusual punishment."

"You could've said something!" Aaron said hotly.

"That would've ruined the surprise," Sirius said as if speaking to a very slow two year old.

Lily nudged James. "He's here."

Peter had indeed arrived, looking at the colorful decorations and candies with apprehension.

Upon noticing the fourth member of their quartet, James and Sirius stood, conducting the rest of the school in a rousing chorus of 'Happy Birthday'. Remus seemed embarrassed.  

Peter joined them at the end of the Gryffindor table.

"I'm going to be sick if I eat all this candy," Lily announced, as there was really nothing else.

James grinned. "That's why you ate a big dinner. And be grateful you're not at the Slytherin table--nothing but acid pops, cockroach clusters, and blood pops over there.

Lily and Marlene watched as Avery and Nott ran from the room, their mouths smoking slightly.

Lily tried to look disapproving but failed miserably, instead laughing hard as Mary and Hestia arrived.

"What the bloody hell is going on?" Mary demanded. "I'm starving and on a diet. You can't do this to me, Potter. A girl needs her food."

"Of course," James said graciously. "There's proper food down in the kitchens. We bribed the House Elves to send this lot up instead. You'll need the password to get it though...it's Wormtail."

Mary nodded gratefully. "Hestia?" She turned to the other girl.

"I'll come. Lovely party, James." Hestia grabbed Mary's arm and the two disappeared back out of the hall.

"How long is this going to continue for?" Marlene asked curiously. "We've got Quidditch practice this afternoon, and I don't want to pass out."

"The kitchens are always open, Abbott," Sirius reminded her.

She made a face. "Whatever. We should get going," she said to Aaron.

He nodded, dutifully following her from the Hall.

Lily nodded to her two departing house mates. “What do you think is going on there?”

Sirius scowled. “The way he goes on about her at night...seriously, it’s getting ridiculous. I think I’m going to smother him.”

“You do kick him out rather often,” Lily reminded him.

“It’s good for him!”

Remus rolled his eyes.

“Food should be back at lunch, anyways,” James said, but he frowned. “At least, it should...Padfoot, you did tell the House Elves it was lunch today, not lunch tomorrow, right?”

Sirius frowned, mimicking James’ concerned expression. “I dunno...reckon I should go check?”

“Yes,” Lily said. “Please do. I was looking forward to the shepherd’s pie at lunch...”

“Maybe for your birthday it’ll be nothing but shepherd’s pie,” James joked.

Lily shuddered. “What you did for my birthday last year was bad enough. How you managed to convince an entire herd of unicorns to stampede the castle is beyond me, but I’m still angry Kettleburn won’t let us near them anymore...”

Peter laughed. “I’d forgotten about that!”

“This year will be better,” James promised. “Now Padfoot and I should get going, have to check on the kitchens before we get to class.”

Lily rose with them, but headed in the opposite direction for Charms.

Professor Flitwick smiled as she entered, greeting his favorite student. Lily was disappointed when she read the agenda scrawled halfway down the blackboard, realizing that the seventh year NEWT students would not be using practical magic today, but rather theoretical. With a sigh she drew out her textbook and flipped to the correct page, and sat back.

A few seconds before class began Alice slid into the seat next to Lily, her face flushed and chest heaving.

“Where’ve you been?” Lily asked, but Alice just waved her aside.

The class was directed to read silently, so Lily tore a slice of parchment from her scroll and scribbled a note to her friend.

 

_Why are you late? You’re never late!_

 

Alice’s eyes scanned the paper. The girl sighed heavily, drew her quill, and wrote back.

 

_I wasn’t late, was I? Just not early. I was on time._

 

Lily rolled her eyes, glanced up to make sure Flitwick was still preoccupied, and wrote more fervently:

 

_You look like you’ve either run a marathon or shagged some bloke in the broom closet outside. So which is it?_

 

Upon receiving this note, Alice threw Lily a nasty glare. Clearly, she was not in a jesting mood.

 

_I’ll have you know Frank promised to meet me outside the Transfiguration classroom and never showed. I’d been there since breakfast._

 

“Miss Evans,” Professor Flitwick called. “I do hope you’re taking notes.”

“Of course, Professor,” Lily said earnestly, holding up her real notes and deftly sliding her exchange with Alice beneath her book with her other hand. “What else would I be doing?”

Flitwick seemed to want to say more, but then decided against it and looked back down at the papers in front of him.

Lily began to write an apology to Alice for pestering her when she noticed James and Sirius had still not arrived to class. She finished her note to Alice and returned to her studies, her mind whirling. Had they still not returned from the kitchens, or were they simply skiving off class?

And why did she care so much? Lily chided herself. What those two did was none of her business, even if Potter was Head Boy now, and really needed to start thinking about being more responsible. If he treated class like he treated Quidditch practice--

Lily shook her head a few times. How had James Potter infiltrated her brain so easily? Clearly he had to be stopped.

 

***

 

_Dear Mum,_

_I can’t say I was expecting this, though really I should’ve been. You know I wish Tuney every happiness, but I also wish she would give me the time of day! Honestly, mum, it’s getting ridiculous. I’ll ask around, and let you know who I’ll be inviting to the engagement party. I just hope she doesn’t kick me out of the wedding, honestly._

 

_Lots of love,_

_Lily_

 

Lily sent this letter off with her owl, Mercury, and immediately sat back down to compose another.

 

_Dearest Petunia,_

_Why do you hate me? I say you must, because otherwise you’d write to me with something more than a stiffly formal and to be quite honest ominous save-the-date. Also your fiance is a pig._

 

_Not much love but still some,_

_Lily_

 

This letter Lily crumpled into a ball and set on her windowsill, then muttered “Incendio,” and watched the parchment blacken and the edges curl until it was nothing but a pile of ash.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alys again. You're all too sweet with your comments, really. Love you!


	9. A Wind in the Willow

CHAPTER NINE - A Wind in the Willow

 

It’s funny how such important things might never have happened had a single event not occurred. For example, Harry Potter might never have been conceived should James and Lily never married. They definitely wouldn’t have married if James hadn’t done _something_ to convince Lily he was worth dating. That something happened to be gaining Lily’s admiration and respect, and that might not have happened if Lily had never found out about the Marauder’s biggest secret. And that could never have happened had Lily not decided that, at a little past midnight the seventh of November, she was a bit peckish and wanted to sneak down to the kitchens with the aid of a certain invisibility cloak.

It did not once cross her mind that the seventh of November, 1976 happened to be a full moon. Even if it had, she would not have been concerned. She had (wrongly) assumed that Remus Lupin was safely contained each month, his friends either none the wiser or wisely quiet.

It came as a shock, therefore, when she quietly muttered her own surname to gain access to James’ room, and found it empty.

Her first thought was that he, too, had fancied a trip to the kitchens--but that was before she spotted the map, lying on his pillow, freshly wiped blank.

She teetered in the doorway a few seconds, debating whether or not to pounce--this was a matter of privacy, after all--but curiosity won over and she found herself tapping the parchment with her want, whispering “I solemnly swear that I am up to no good.”

The seventh-year boy’s dormitory was empty as well, save the small dot with Aaron McKinnon’s name underneath. All four Marauders, missing? It was too suspicious. Remus might have an alibi, but the others...

Lily’s eyes flew to the kitchens. Except for the scurrying House Elves, it was deserted. Movement at the far corner of the map drew her attention. In the midst of the forbidden forest four dots moved together...

Lily tossed the map aside, her eyes blazing. She ran back to her own room for a sweater and scarf to throw on over her muggle clothes, and was out of the Common Room in an instant.

“Head Duties,” she said to the Fat Lady as she ran. “Very urgent.”

“Good luck, dear,” the Lady called after her.

The Head Girl exited the castle through a secret passage that took her right to the northwest of the castle, where the forest primarily lay. She shivered in the cold air, tugging the cardigan tighter around her. She wished now more than ever that she’d brought the map with her; they had probably moved on, or been killed by the werewolf they were so foolishly running around with.

She did not dare enter the forest, because while a Gryffindor, she was not stupid--she could not very well take on a werewolf by herself, no matter how skilled she was at Stunning Spells. So instead she waited, folding herself into the shadows of the castle, her feet crunching in the light dusting of snow that coated the grass.

Lily’s breath fogged in front of her vision, and she shook again. Adrenaline and fear were the only things keeping her from sprinting back to the common room. She would have to wait until James and the others emerged from the forest, or Remus came for her, being the only other human around...

She cast a warming spell about her, which vastly helped combat the cold. There was a snap, and she lit her wand nonverbally, the magic flowing out of her almost unconsciously.

The werewolf was emerging from the forest, its eyes fixed on the light from Lily’s wand.

“ _Nox_ ,” she thought hastily, and the light was snuffed out. In the dim glow from the castle windows she saw the wolf crawl forward, still watching her intently.

It-- _he_ \--knew she had nowhere to run, and watched her with mild intrigue instead.

The other three were dead, Lily knew. Those idiots.

Before she could sob, or attempt to run back the way she’d come, or even try to fight, a huge black dog bounded from the forest and crashed into the wolf.

The wolf snapped back at the dog, but in a more irritated manner than angered. The dog gave a playful bark, then suddenly turned and looked straight at her. It barked again, more forcefully.

A stag cantered out of the forest, then nudged the wolf with his antlers, as if to say “Go on.”

The wolf ran away, followed by the dog, towards the Whomping Willow. As they reached it the branches froze, as if it had forgotten what to do with itself.

The wolf and dog disappeared under it, and it was then Lily realized that the stag was still there, watching her.

“Hello,” she said tentatively. “That wolf--it’s a friend of mine, you see, and--oh my god, I’ve gone mental. I’m talking to a deer! I’m still talking to a deer. This is it, Evans, you’ve gone round the twist.”

The stag tilted its head, as if it found her amusing.

“I need to go,” Lily muttered. “Remus...oh god, those idiots. If Remus turned them or killed them, he’s getting in trouble...”

As she blinked away tears that froze on her cheeks, the stag changed. It grew taller and its antlers shrunk, until James Potter stood before her, looking rumpled and awkward.

“Remus wouldn’t...wouldn’t kill us,” he said thickly.

Lily’s head snapped up. “What--you just--you’re an _illegal animagus_?”

“Of course you focus on the illegality of it,” he muttered. “Look, Lily, we couldn’t very well leave Moony on his own once a month, do you have any idea how horrible those transformations are?”

“Yes!” She snapped. “When I found out I did research for ages, to see if there was anything I could do, but becoming an animagus? Really?”

“Yes, really! I would do anything for Remus, and he would do anything for us.” His eyes challenged her, and he took a step forward. “Evans, I can’t force you not to tell. I don’t want to _Obliviate_ you, or anything. But I want you to know--”

“How long,” Lily interrupted.

“Since fifth year,” James said. “All three of us.”

Lily frowned. “I didn’t see Peter.”

“He’s a rat,” James said. “He’s small. On the willow, there’s a knot...you touch it and it freezes.”

“That was him,” she breathed.

“How did you find out.” James asked abruptly.

Lily sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I’ve known about Remus since fifth year, when we were prefects and I had access to his monthly schedule and realized when he was missing. About you three...I went to your room to ask about the invisibility cloak and saw you were missing. I used the map, and when I saw where you’d gone...”

“You did the stupidly Gryffindor thing and went after me,” James supplied, a small smile forming on his face. “Oh, Evans. You _do_ care.”

“Shut up,” she muttered, but she couldn’t fight a smile herself. “So the four of you just galavant about the forest every month?

“Well, when you put it like that, it sounds irresponsible,” James said. “I think of it more as sauntering.”

Lily turned her smiling face to the sky. “You’re impossible, Potter.”

He grinned. “The others are going to be wondering what we’re doing. I should be getting back, and you should be all snuggled up in bed.”

Lily waved her wand quickly, casting the same heating charm on him as she had done on herself. “Goodnight,” she said, and turned back the way she’d come.

She stopped however, at the hidden door and looked back. James waved, still grinning, and changed back into a stag, darting towards the convulsing tree at the edge of the grounds.

Lily waved back, long after he was gone, and then hurried back into the castle, her mind whirling.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Alys again. Thanks so much for your lovely comments and kudos!!! Love you.


	10. The Three Slytherins

CHAPTER TEN - The Three Slytherins

 

“I’m thinking about getting Sirius a chew toy for Christmas,” Lily said, her eyes scanning the Prophet, her hand reaching for another slice of toast.

Hestia snorted. “Why, because he’s a bitch?”

“Exactly,” Lily said solemnly.

“Well, I needed to get some more owl treats,” she said. “So we can go together.”

Lily smiled. “I love Hogsmeade weekends in the winter.”

“Too bad it’s our last one,” Mary said sourly. She had been moping all morning. The boy she had asked to Hogsmeade had turned her down for Amaryllis Greengrass.

Lily sighed. “Mare. Stebbins is a slag.”

“A big slag,” Hestia chimed in.

Mary shook her head, still scowling. “Stupid Slytherin Greengrass. He’s a Ravenclaw, he should be smarter than that.” She threw Lily a dark look. “And don’t start on your whole ‘Not all Slytherins are bad!’ lecture.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Lily said coolly, her eyes never leaving the Prophet. “I was going to join in the slandering of Stebbins.”

“Oh. Well, good.”

“You’re going to Hogsmeade, right, Lily?” Hestia asked, her blue eyes narrowing. “You’re not going to ditch us and work on homework, are you?”

“Of course not,” Lily said smoothly. “I’m going to ditch you and work on point deductions and detention reports.”

Hestia and Mary exchanged exasperated looks. “Make Potter do it,” Mary said.

“You try forcing him to work!” Lily snapped. “McGonagall wanted the reports by the end of the week.”

“So do them by the end of the week,” Hestia suggested. “Come on, Lil, you’re driving yourself mental. It’s almost Christmas.”

Lily sighed grudgingly. “I suppose going for an hour or so can’t hurt.”

“You can copy my Potions essay,” Mary offered. “I can’t promise you it’s high quality, but it’s an A at least.”

“Where’s Marlene?” Hestia asked, noticing the absence of their friend. “I know Alice is with Frank--”

Lily smirked, still reading her Prophet. “She’s with Aaron. The two of them have been inseparable lately--been a bit sickening, actually...”

The three girls finished their breakfast and made their way down to the carriages that waited on the edge of the grounds. They didn’t notice the Slytherin boys that followed from a distance, getting into a carriage behind the girls’. The Gryffindor girls weren’t worried about anything. After all, it was almost Christmas.

 

***

 

“Can we stop for a butterbeer, _please?”_ Mary complained. “I’m cold.”

“I told you to wear a sweater,” Lily said.

“Yes, _mum_.” Mary rolled her eyes. “Come on. I’ll pay for yours.”

“Ah, well, in that case...”

The three girls turned up the street towards the Three Broomsticks. It wasn’t as crowded as usual, a few Ravenclaw boys sat at the bar and a group of Hufflepuff girls clustered by the window. Lily excused herself to go to the bathroom, leaving Hestia and Mary to find a booth.

“Marlene said Aaron was dragging her along to Puddifoot’s, yes?” Hestia asked.

Mary snorted. “God, I hope not. I don’t think their relationship could withstand a trip to that hellhole.”

The bell over the door chimed, signaling the entrance of more patrons. Neither girl looked up. “Did you get the new Unicorn Blood album?” Mary asked. “I asked for it for Christmas. It’s supposed to be incredible.”

Hestia made a face. “I’m not into disco,” she said.

Mary laughed. “It’s only called disco if it’s made by muggles. I’m not sure what it’s called in the wizarding world...”

“Of course you wouldn’t,” a voice from behind her said snidely. Avery, Mulciber, and Nott stood behind her. A fourth figure hung back a ways, that of Severus Snape. “Mudbloods like you shouldn’t even be listening to wizard music.”

Mary laughed again, humorlessly this time. “Don’t tell me you’re honestly using my taste in music as a reason to hate me. I guarantee there are people with worse.”

“Where’s your other friend,” Mulciber continued, as if she hadn’t spoken. “The redhead. Evans.”

“Oh, look,” Mary said coldly. “He deigns to speak a muggleborn’s name.”

Avery raised his wand. “I’m getting tired of this.”

“We’re in a public restaurant,” Hestia said, arching an eyebrow. “You really want the whole pub knowing what utter wankers you are?”

“ _Expelliarmus_ ,” a voice said calmly from behind Mary. Lily Evans had her wand raised, and caught Avery’s as it soared towards her. “I heard you were asking for me,” she said.

Nott sneered. “Put that wand down, Evans.”

Lily arched an eyebrow. “I will when you leave.”  
By now they had gained the attention of several other patrons. Behind the bar Rosmerta was watching the exchange closely. Lily was not too worried about her. She was friendly enough with the barmaid that she knew Rosmerta would come to her aid if needed. Authority figures, no matter where, tended to bend to her will.

“Fine,” Mulciber muttered, jerking his head. He clearly didn’t like that almost everyone in the pub was watching him. “Snape, get the wand.”

Lily, who seemed to have not noticed Severus lurking, blanched. “Sev?”

Snape stared at her guiltily.

“That’s right,” Mulciber sneered. “Your little Mudblood friend remembers you. Which is funny, I always heard they had a rather short-term memory--”

_Bang._

Mulciber fell to the floor, temporarily stunned.

Lily tucked her wand back into her pocket and tossed Avery’s to Snape. “Here,” she said angrily. “Take it.” She turned on her heel and left the pub.

Hestia and Mary stared at each other in the ringing silence that followed her departure, then tossed a few sickles on the table and hurried out into the snow after her.

 

 

***

 

“I hate them!” Lily said loudly, as her friends shushed her. The three girls had moved to the Hog’s Head, where the only Hogwarts students besides themselves were a few sixth years and a group of frightened but thrilled third years.

“We know, dear,” Mary said soothingly. “They’re horrible.”

Lily looked murderous. “Ruining people’s days...they could have come to me in private, you know! Spewed off filth to me personally. Think of how many muggleborn third years there could have been! Overhearing that...their Head Girl...and I practically sunk to their level!” Her voice had rose hysterically, drawing stares from the few patrons and the man slowly wiping down a glass behind the bar. Hestia shushed her again.

“Lily, if anything, they look up to you more,” she whispered fervently. “You stood up for yourself, and for us--that’s what any thirteen-year-old needs as a role model--Oi!” She called to the third years a few tables away.

They looked over, frightened.

“If you saw the Head Girl disarm some bullying Slytherins, would you be disappointed in her?”

“Er...no?” One bold third year girl answered. “Is this a test?”

“No!” Mary waved her away. “See?” she hissed to Lily. “No harm done. And Rosmerta won’t report you, she likes you.”

Lily sighed, burying her head in her hands. “I know,” she moaned. “I should get back up to the castle. Still have work to do, and all. Potter’s probably galavanting about Hogsmeade, not a care in the world...”

“Hm. I actually haven’t seen him anywhere...” Hestia glanced out the window. “Look, isn’t that Remus going into the bookshop?”

“Hestia, I don’t actually _care_ ,” Lily protested as Mary grabbed her elbow and yanked her out the door, Hestia hurrying after her.

“Lupin!” Mary yelled, stopping the prefect in the doorway.

He looked up. “Oh, Mary, Lily...how can I help you?”

“Lily was wondering where James was,” Hestia piped up, hidden behind the taller forms of Mary and Lily.

Remus arched an eyebrow. “Really?”

“No,” Lily scowled.

“Well, I remember him saying he was staying up at the castle,” Remus recalled. “Something about Head work...”

Lily’s eyes widened. “Oh no,” she said. “I need to get back there right now.”

“You were _just_ complaining that he did no work,” Mary said.

“Yeah, and I can’t retain my moral high ground if he actually does something while I’m at the village! I’ll see you late. Thanks Remus!” She hugged Hestia and Mary quickly and ran back towards the carriages waiting at the end of the main street to take her back to the castle.

She ended up in a carriage with Frank and Alice, who were returning early to work on homework, or so they said.

Upon reaching the castle, Lily broke into a sprint and made her way to the fifth floor, past the art and music classrooms to the Head office, which overlooked the lake. When she burst through the door it was to find James lounging in a desk chair, a list of passwords on his lap, quill in hand.

“Ah, Evans,” he said, nodding to her. “I was just changing the password to the prefect’s bathroom next door. Was thinking something like... _bubble tree_.”

Lily paused, apology momentarily forgotten. “Like...a tree made of bubbles?”

“Yeah. It’d be hard to guess, right?”

“Well, it makes no sense.”

“It’s a password, Evans, not the riddle to get into Ravenclaw Tower.”

Lily shrugged, a smile forming on her lips. She dropped into the other chair. “Fine. Bubble tree. What have your other brilliant passwords been?”

“Oh, I just started on passwords. I’ve been writing up those point deductions.” He dragged a roll of parchment towards him. “Really, Lily? Twenty points from Sirius for releasing a box of ice mice in History of Magic?”

“It was disruptive!” She protested, but she was laughing.

“Shouldn’t Binns have taken the points then?”

“Oh, come on, he didn’t notice.” She narrowed her eyes at the list, still giggling. “What’s with you, deducting thirty from Nott for dropping his books in the hall?”

James laughed. “He caused a hold up! Those poor second years caught behind him were stuck.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “Very well. I’ll do the passwords and put you out of your misery, Mr. Bubble Tree, and you can continue with point deductions. Maybe write up some detention forms, Merlin knows half of them are yours...”

A few minutes of silence followed this, with only the occasional request for clarification on handwriting or confirmation that a password made sense.

“You know,” James said suddenly as Lily was changing the password to the prefect’s bathroom on the third floor, “it’s a lot more fun working with you than on my own.”

“You too,” Lily said, before she’d realized it. “I mean...thanks.”

“We should do this more often,” he continued. “I mean, we have to do rounds tomorrow night, right? What if we just came here and used the Map to watch for out of bounds students?”

“Take turns going out after them...” Lily mused. “I like it.”

James seemed surprised. “Really?”

“Yes,” Lily said, smiling. “I do. Hey, could you help me with something? I’m coordinating next month’s Hogsmeade dates, and I don’t want to conflict with your Quidditch...”

“Oh, yeah, there’s a game January sixteenth,” James said, leaning back in the chair as he thought. “I have practice every Monday and Thursday...”

“Games are usually Sundays, right?” Lily asked, making a note on the calendar.

“Don’t you usually come?” James asked, his head snapping back down to look at her.

Lily shook her head, flipping through the book full of teacher schedules. “Not in six years,” she said. “Well, that’s not true. I went a few times in fourth year after Marlene made the team. I just never saw much point, I guess. There was always something I’d rather be doing.”

James was staring at her. “You have to go to the game. You have to.”

Lily shrugged. “Maybe.”

“No. You are. I’m going to force Sirius to bring you to the game.”

Lily threw her hands up. “Fine. I’ll go to the game in January. Who are you playing?”

“Ravenclaw.”

“Sounds good. Okay, I think I’ll make the Hogsmeade visit the fifteenth, the day before. That way you can get an extra practice in while the other teams are down at the village...” she made another note. “There. I even booked the pitch for you.” She smiled at him. “I should probably get back. Homework, you know.”

James nodded. “Bye, Lily.”

“Bye, James.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey!! I'm gonna try to get this up to current with fanfiction.net, which currently has fourteen of these. Yeah, I'm behind posting here. So prepare for a torrential rain of chapters. Also the deletion of the prologue, I need that gone.
> 
> Love you!  
> Alys


	11. Sisters and Brothers

CHAPTER ELEVEN - Sisters and Brothers

 

The map, though open, lay forgotten on the desk as the two Head Students leaned against it, homework spread out in front of them.

“I hate Transfiguration,” Lily grumbled. “It’s my worst subject. In theory it’s so... _cool_ , but it’s so hard.”

James looked up from his Defense paper and looked at her, confused. “But McGonagall loves you.”

Lily waved a hand dismissively. “Everyone loves me.” She blinked. “That’s not what I meant. Well, you know what I meant. You were the one who used to call me a teacher’s pet, weren’t you?”

James shrugged unashamedly. “I was thirteen.”

“True.” Lily made a few more notes on her parchment. “I’ve been meaning to ask...what happened between you and Sirius last year? You never mention it...”

He sighed and set his work aside. “It’s...complicated. We don’t talk about it for a reason.”

“Well, I’ve worked some things out for myself. I think it has to do with Sev--Snape. He kept claiming he was attacked by a werewolf.”

James looked down. “I’ll tell you if you tell me about your sister.”

Lily hesitated. “Deal.”

“Last year...Sirius and I decided we would lay off Snape for a bit. See what happened. You stopped hanging around him in fifth year, and we--well, _I_ \--figured that was punishment enough. Sirius didn’t exactly agree though. He saw Snape with Regulus one day, and decided enough was enough. He told Snape how to get into the Whomping Willow, and said he might find something interesting down there if he went on a full moon.

“I still can’t believe he could do that to Remus. When I found out, I hexed him, then went down and dragged Snape away. He still saw Remus, though--well, not Remus. Moony. I made him swear not to tell anyone, but by then of course Dumbledore knew. Gave me an award for services to the school or some bullshit, since he thought I’d risked my life for my worst enemy. I hadn’t, of course. I could’ve just transformed and hung back, let Remus kill or bite Snape, like Sirius had undoubtably wanted...but I couldn’t do that to Remus. He would’ve been expelled, sent to Azkaban...I don’t want to think about it.

“I didn’t speak to Sirius for about three months. He was kicked off the Quidditch team, suspended...when Winter Break came, I didn’t want him to come home with us. He had been living with me by then, you see. But my mother...” James’ voice broke, and he stopped speaking. When he regained his composure, he began again. “My mother made me see sense. She told me what he did was unforgivable, but we need to forgive anyways. Sirius is my brother, and I needed to accept what he did and move on. So I did. Remus had already forgiven him, because he’s _Remus_. And Peter just wanted us to stop fighting...

“Sirius came with me when--to the funeral. It was even harder, knowing the only reason I’d forgiven him in the first place was because of my mother.” He bowed his head, and Lily sensed that his story was over.

She had sat in silence for the duration, and now she was unsure of what to say. So instead of saying anything, she took his hand and held it.

The two sat together for what felt like ages before James spoke again.

“So,” he said. “Your sister.”

Lily let go of his hand quickly and reached for her quill again, pretending to write. “Not much to tell, really.”

James made a face. “I just poured my heart out to you, Evans. It’s your turn.”

“Very well. I discovered I was a witch when I was nine. My sister always thought it was a bit weird, and she was scared of it. But Severus--he lives just down the way--found us. He told me what I was. We’ve been friends since then, I suppose. He’d stay at our house whenever things got particularly bad at his, so we were pretty close. When I finally went to Hogwarts, I discovered my sister was actually jealous. I wrote to her all the time in my first year, but she wouldn’t write back. She shunned me, pretty much. She thought I was a freak, just because I can do magic.”

“That’s ridiculous,” James burst out. “Why was she jealous--”

“Hey, I was quiet when you were talking!”

“Sorry.”

Lily smiled, but it quickly faded. “Anyways, as we grew older, things grew more tense between us. Severus would make things better, he would be with me when she wasn’t. But I wasn’t able to be there for her graduation, and that seemed to be it. She avoids me when I’m home, and when she does talk to me, it’s usually just insults. But it’s not her fault, it’s mine. I was always showing off when I was little, ‘cause I didn’t realize she was jealous. I made things worse. And now she’s getting married and hasn’t asked me to be a bridesmaid, and I just...I can’t help but blame myself.”

James waited a second before bursting out, “But that’s not your fault! She’s a stuck-up prig, clearly jealous you inherited all the good-looking genes, don’t let it get to you--” He broke off, unnerved. Lily had doubled over, her shoulders shaking. “Er...are you okay? Evans?”

When she looked up, he saw she was laughing. “It’s--sorry. It’s just--you’re hilarious.” She patted his arm. “And I feel better now, thanks.” She reached behind her, pulling the map towards her. “Stebbins and Greengrass are out of bed. Want to go after them?”

James nodded, getting to his feet. “You’re doing the next one, though.” On his way out the door, he paused. “Oh, and Lily?”

She glanced up from the map, where she had been watching her friends in their dormitories. Mary and Marlene seemed to be gossiping on Hestia’s bed, while Alice tried unsuccessfully to sleep. “Yeah?”

“I’m sorry you had to stop being friends with Snape. You two were really close.”

Lily shrugged, a smile finding its way to her face again. “It was for the best, I think. I’m over it.”

With that, James smiled back and left the room.

 

***

 

_Fifth Year_

 

She didn’t know how to react when the portrait hole swung open and his voice rang out across the quiet common room: “Lily! Lily, please, I’m sorry--”

He’d hardly ever called her Lily. Never, really.

They were fifteen, and she had never once heard her first name fall from his lips. She wasn’t entirely sure she hated the sound of it.

Of all the times, though. Now, really?

She settled for a nice scoff. You can’t go wrong with a scoff, she thought reasonably. It could mean a whole host of things. “Don’t say you’re sorry,” she said. “You’re a bully, Potter. Nothing more, but certainly a lot less.”

“Evans--Lily, I’m sorry.”

She whirled on him, her green eyes flashing. “What did I just say, Potter?” She slammed her Potions book closed, rolled up her parchment, and slung her bag over her shoulder.

“Where are you going?” He called. “Let me talk to you--”

But Lily cut him off again. “I’m going to bed, Potter. If you had any sense, you’d do the same.”

She left him there, standing in her wake, tossed aside and looking utterly broken.

She didn’t much care. Today had been the worst.

Mary stood at the entrance to the fifth-year girls’ dormitory, her arms folded. “Severus was looking for you,” she said. “He’s threatening to camp outside Gryffindor Tower if you don’t go talk to him.

Lily, already on the verge of tears, mustered enough energy to at least attempt a bored sigh. “I suppose I’d better see what he wants, then. Would you do me a favor first, though, and make sure the Common Room is clear? I’d hate to run into Potter...”

Mary’s eyes narrowed. “I understand the general dislike, Lily, but he didn’t do anything today in particular...”

Lily shook her head. “He did it again,” she said. “He used Levicorpus on Sev--and then had the audacity to hit on me afterwards! The nerve that boy possesses--”

“Yes, dear, we know.” Mary stepped forward and placed a hand on her friend’s shoulder. “Lily, I know today was bad. I really, really, do. If you need to talk to me...”

“Thank you.” Lily brushed past Mary and dropped her bag on her bed, the closest to the door. Their other three roommates were asleep, their four-posters awash in moonlight. Mary disappeared down the winding staircase, and Lily waited for her return, casting an eye over her sleeping friends.

Marlene stirred ever so slightly, her chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. Lily envied her; she never had to worry about being called a Mudblood, or whatever worse names the pureblood elite had prepared for her that day.

For all his faults, that was one thing Potter didn’t do, she supposed. Make fun of her on the grounds of her blood status. But to him, everything else was fair game.

Mary reappeared. “The coast is clear,” she said. “I can wait up for you.”

“Don’t bother,” Lily said with a brief smile. “I’ll make this short.” She hugged Mary. “Thank you for being such a good friend,” she said softly, so as not to wake the other girls.

Mary smiled. “I don’t know what you’d do without me.” She closed the door behind Lily.

Lily stood on the stairs for a moment. It was past curfew, she knew, and being a prefect, she knew she could dock points from Sev simply for being out of bed after hours...but she wouldn’t. She couldn’t.

So she descended the girls’ staircase, crossed the Common Room, and shoved open the portrait to reveal the small, piteous form of Severus Snape.

“I’m sorry.”

“I’m not interested.”

“I’m sorry!”

“Save your breath.”

Lily gazed at him, really seeing him for the first time. It hurt her, as if someone had taken a scalpel to her heart and was trying to carve it out.

But she couldn’t love someone who hated those like her.

 


	12. A Tale of Two Parties

CHAPTER TWELVE - A Tale of Two Parties

 

Christmas seemed to come early that year. Though, Lily reasoned, it fell on the same day every year, and should not feel any earlier or later than usual. Something about the warm glow of everything seemed out of place, especially stepping through the barrier.

While always a bit of a shock, moving from Wizarding world to Muggle, this time the change was even more drastic. Platform 9 3/4 was dreary, full of grim faces and missing family members that should have been present. The muggle world was happy and festive, free of a war and terror.

Not for the first time, Lily envied her muggle family.

Petunia didn’t come to pick her up. She never did. It was just her mother, waiting anxiously on the other side of the barrier for Lily to come through, then enveloping her in a tight hug.

“Happy Christmas, mum,” Lily said, hugging her mother back.

“It’s not Christmas yet,” her mother reprimanded laughingly. “Come along, grab your trunk. Petunia’s going a bit mental with preparations for her party. Family will be arriving, you know, so they’ll be dropping by every night and it’s starting to get ridiculous.”

“The wedding’s not until spring,” Lily said incredulously. “What are they doing here this early?”

Mrs. Evans waved a hand, ushering her youngest daughter out of the train station and towards her car. “Some have decided to come down early, vacation around London for the time between...but many of them are just friends and relatives of Vernon’s who seem to believe that our house is now open at all times.” She shook her head. “It’s mad.”

Lily patted her mother on the arm. “I’m sure it’s not all that bad.”

 

***

 

She had barely set foot into her own house when relatives descended.

“Oh, Lily, you’re home, where was it you go again?”

“Lily, darling, you _must_ come visit us in Liverpool sometime, we miss you something dreadful--”

“I have an entire photo album to show you! The puppies are all grown up now, you simply must see them!”

Once Lily had managed to detach herself, she hauled herself and her trunk up to her room, where she sat in silence and breathed in deeply. Nowhere quite smelled like her home, like freshly cut flowers and vanilla and something musty she couldn’t place.

Mrs. Evans appeared in the doorway, a wry smile on her face. “Told you.”

Lily held up her hands in defeat. “You’re right, mum.” She sat down on her bed, exhaling. “They’re all just here for the _engagement party_? That’s ridiculous, that is.”

“Yes, well, Petunia’s rather popular among the family. And Vernon wants things official and proper, so there you have it.”

Lily snorted. “They’re her problem, then. I’ll be up in my room, making no noise and pretending I don’t exist.”

“No, you will _not_ ,” her mother said sharply. “You’re going to socialize, just like your sister is.”

“She’s the one getting married!”

“Doesn’t matter.” Mrs. Evans left back down the hall, leaving her distressed daughter in her wake.

 

***

 

Lily leaned against the recently closed door to her bedroom and kicked off her heels. She sank to the ground, too exhausted to stand another second. She’d been socializing with Dursleys for the past two hours, and her stockings had runs and her hair had lost its volume. After nearly two days of this kind of socialization, Lily was seriously considering a career in being a hermit.

An owl was perched in her open window, looking self-important with a letter clutched in his beak. Lily pushed herself off the floor, nudged the discarded shoes out of the way, and went to retrieve it. Her own owl, Mercury, was out delivering a letter to Marlene, so she allowed the unfamiliar owl to rest in his cage.

She sat back down on her bed, sliding a finger under the flap of the envelope.

 

_Dear Evans/Lily/you with the red hair,_

_How have your winter holidays been? Mine have been bloody boring. Dad thinks it’s too dangerous to leave, so he insists that the furthest we go is Muggle London. Remus is here, he says hi. He doesn’t think you’ll write me back. So please do, because I have five galleons on you._

_You mentioned before we left that your sister was getting married soon. As someone without siblings, I can’t imagine how that could possibly go, but if you need a date for the wedding, you know who to turn to._

_Remus told me not to include that part. I told him he was ridiculous--what’s some teasing between friends?_

_But seriously, if you need a date, I’ll drop anything in a heartbeat for you. You know I will, love._

 

_Love,_

_Potter/James/the sexy one_

 

Lily smiled and set the letter aside, pulling a roll of parchment and a pen towards her.

 

_Potter,_

_Please know that I’m only writing you back because I don’t want your debt hanging over my head in the future. Tell Remus I’m sorry. I promise you, my winter holidays have been worse than yours. I’ve been forced to socialize with my older sister’s dreadful fiance, Vernon. I’m afraid it’s on you to come up with some horrid nickname that suits him. My mum’s going mental with wedding details, and Petunia (that’s my sister) still won’t talk to me..._

_It has occurred to me that this letter has gotten awfully personal, and I will probably erase that last sentence._

 

“Lily!”

Upon hearing her name, the muggle-born witch looked up. “Yeah, mum?” she called back.

Her door was nudged open, and the blonde-haired head of her mother poked in. “Come back downstairs, now,” she said firmly. “Your absence is becoming rude--”

“It’s been _two hours_ , mum. Besides, you only want me down there so you don’t have to deal with them on your own.”

Christine Evans glowered at her youngest daughter. “Even if that were true, it is still inexcusable that you aren’t downstairs.”

Lily sighed. “Give me a few minutes, mum. I just need to finish writing this letter and I’ll be right down.”

Christine looked on her youngest daughter with pitying eyes. “Lily, I know it’s...difficult, getting along with your sister. But she’s getting _married_ , and she’ll be moving out soon, and--”

“Mum,” Lily interrupted. “I’m going to miss Tuney too. I’ll meet you downstairs.”

Her mother embraced her tightly over the back of her chair. “And, Lily...please keep that owl of yours quiet while the guests are here.”

“Don’t worry, mum,” Lily insisted, not for the first time. “Mercury is already gone, and this one will be too as soon as I send him off. Now go back downstairs and enjoy the party!”

As soon as her mother had left, Lily returned to her letter.

 

_Things are getting hectic here, and it’s driving me mental. My sister’s on some crazy diet, and has outlawed chocolate. Can you imagine the horror?! Christmas without chocolate! I’m afraid I might not survive to return to Hogwarts. Tell Slughorn I’ve never liked his parties when you return without me._

_In all seriousness, though, the engagement party’s in three days’ time, if you want to stop by. I’d love someone to distract me from the horrors of my sister’s fiance. Let me know soon!_

_Lots of love,_

_Lily_

 

She debated for several moments on how to sign off, finally deciding on her usual ‘lots of love’. Hopefully he wouldn’t take it the wrong way...

She attached the letter to James’ owl’s leg and sent him off, staring after him out the window. The sky was pink, darkening at the edges in a way that warned the sun was soon going to disappear.

Lily slipped her shoes back on and forced herself up onto her aching feet, setting herself back into the hallway and down the stairs into the throng of relatives that had flown in for the wedding.

“Lily!” the girl in question found herself accosted by her great aunt. “Oh, it’s been so long, dear. You must tell me--where is it you go to school again?”

“St. Ethel’s,” Lily said, repeating the lie she and her mother used most often. “Catholic school. Up north.”

Her great aunt nodded wisely. “Ah, of course. And how is it up there? Any boys who have caught your eye?”

Lily pushed James--Potter!--out of her mind quickly. “No--St. Ethel’s is an all-girl’s school, you see. Haven’t much time for blokes.”

Her great aunt seemed about to begin on a lecture about boys and their ways, so Lily quickly interrupted. “Oh, I’m so sorry, but I haven’t seen Vernon and Petunia yet! They’ve been away so much, I’ve hardly exchanged two words...excuse me...” she brushed past the older woman and marched up to Petunia, who seemed surprised.

“Where did you go?” The older girl demanded.

“I had to respond to a letter,” Lily responded. “It was urgent.” The lie fell easily from her tongue. “Did you miss me?” she asked slyly, though she knew what the answer would be.

“No,” Petunia said, scowling. “It just would have been nice if you’d kept an eye on Gran--she’s gone through a bottle of wine all on her own.”

Lily sighed. “I’m on it, Tuney.”

It was several more hours before Lily finally went to her mother, dead on her feet, and begged to be sent to bed. “It’s almost midnight--how can they still be here?” She whined.

Mrs. Evans sighed. She seemed as tired as Lily was. “I’m going to send them back to the hotel,” she said. “I suppose we’ll clean up in the morning...”

“Nonsense,” Lily said. “I’m of-age. Tomorrow morning, once Tuney’s out, I’ll clean.”

“You’re a dear.” Mrs. Evans kissed her youngest daughter on the head. “Off to bed with you, then. Remember, dress fittings are tomorrow at noon. _Please_ be awake by then?”

Lily gave her mother a kiss on the cheek in response. “Of course.”

She took off her heels again--finally!--and changed into an oversized T-shirt and shorts. As she returned to her room, a toothbrush sticking out of her mouth, she noticed that James’ owl had returned. That was fast.

 

_Lily, my love,_

_Did I read your last letter correctly? Have you asked me on a date?_

_I look forward greatly to meeting your sister and the awful bit of Vermin you must contend yourself with. Fear not, however, I will accompany you to the party. Is it alright if I bring Sirius? He’s been so dejected lately, no doubt jealous of our impending date. Speaking of, my father’s throwing a Christmas party at our house. It used to be a tradition of my mothers. Fancy to join us?_

_With even more love,_

_James x_

 

Lily sighed. She just knew he’d take it the wrong way. Still, she couldn’t help the slight swooping sensation in her stomach as she thought of James Potter at her sister’s wedding, as her date...The funny feeling intensified. She refused to allow herself to even _think_ she might fancy James Potter.

 

_James,_

_It is not a date. However, I do appreciate the swiftness with which you replied. Shocking, really._

_Really? The best you can come up with is Vermin? I exhausted that one during fifth year. And yes, you can bring Sirius. Just tell him to behave. Oh, bloody hell, I know he’s reading this letter. Sirius, behave. Is it Chrismas Day or Christmas Eve?_

 

_SINCERELY,_

_Lily xx_

 

She eyed the two kisses she had left at the end of her hastily scrawled note. She had meant simply to one-up Potter, but now it could be seen as flirtatious.

Deciding she didn’t much care one way or another, Lily slipped the letter into an envelope and sent the bird off again.

No sooner had she returned the toothbrush to the bathroom and reentered her room had the owl returned, sitting neatly on her desk as if it had never left.

 

_Lils,_

 

_You called me James. Christmas Eve._

 

_So much love you cannot comprehend,_

_James xxx_

 

Lily sighed. So that had not gone unnoticed. She shook her head at the bird. “He’s mental,” she told him. “But I think I fancy him anyways.” She shook her head quickly. “What am I saying? Think I may have had a tad too much champagne...” she grabbed her quill and scrawled a response.

 

_James,_

 

_Christmas Eve is fine. Thanks for inviting me, by the way._

 

_Lily_

 

Lily sent the owl away, then slid her legs between her sheets, clicking off the light. She didn’t want to think of the tiny lurch her heart had given when she saw James’ name signed with the little kisses. She didn’t want to think of how quickly she had gone from hating the bastard to tolerating him to--no. She didn’t like him. As a friend, maybe. As someone who made her laugh, possibly. But anything more...definitely not.

 


	13. Bridesmaids and Boyfriends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Almost caught up! Here's the last chapter before tonights, then it's back to regular-ish updates. If you want notifications for updates, follow me on tumblr, feferi-the-heiress.tumblr.com 
> 
> that url will probably change soon, actually, but I'll update it here as soon as it does!! :)

CHAPTER THIRTEEN - Bridesmaids and Boyfriends

 

The morning of the party Lily had once again forced herself into a pair of black pumps and donned a pale yellow dress, preparing herself for all the socializing she would soon have to do.

There was consolation, though, she thought, and her heart leapt. Shocked at her obviously involuntary reaction to Potter’s attendance, she shook her head and left the safety of her room.

Petunia was already outside, inspecting all of the waiters for possible defects. Vernon and his sister, Marge, were sitting at the kitchen table. Marge looked distinctly unhappy--Lily suspected this was because Petunia had forced her on a strict diet. Lily would have felt bad for the woman had she not been so vile. It seemed everything Lily did Marge could find fault with. Petunia also seemed to skirt around her, as if reluctant to be near Marge. For once Lily did not blame her sister in the slightest.

“Lily,” Petunia snapped, appearing by her younger sister’s side the second she set foot outside. “Your two... _friends_.” She spat the words like a curse. “They know to act normal, right?”

Lily sighed heavily. “Tuney, I told you. Marlene and Mary will be coming along as well, which makes it a total of four of my friends. And if James and Sirius do _anything_ , we’ll escort them from the premises.” She frowned. “Forcibly.”

Petunia pressed a hand to her forehead. “You’re not exactly filling me with relief, Lily.”

“Tuney. I’m seventeen now. If anything goes wrong, I can always fix it. Easily.”

The older girl looked horrified. “You will not. Firstly, because nothing will go wrong. And secondly, because I do not want you and your freakish friends ruining my perfect and normal engagement party.” She spun on her heel and was about to storm off back to the marquee when she suddenly turned back. “And...make sure you’re on time to the dress fitting Sunday.”

Lily paused. “What?”

“The dress fitting,” Petunia snapped, irritation growing. “For bridesmaids.”

“Oh,” Lily said. “Oh.” She hadn’t expected Petunia to ask her to be a bridesmaid; they’d never discussed it, and Lily had assumed the worst. She couldn’t quell the swelling feeling of joy in her stomach. “Oh, Tuney, of course I won’t be late!” She dashed forward, yanking her sister into a hug.

“You’re going to muss up my hair,” Petunia grumbled, but she seemed secretly pleased. Lily could tell. “Guests are arriving. You should go greet them.”

Lily nodded, wide-eyed. She returned to her post by the door, answering it and directing relatives to the garden. Her eyes had very nearly glazed over when she opened the door to two tall girls. The blonde one was bouncing on the balls of her feet, the brunette seemed nervous.

“Lily!” Marlene exclaimed. “Your hair looks wonderful!” The blonde dashed forward and hugged Lily tightly.

“You look dead on your feet,” Mary said, her eyes sweeping over the modest entryway. “Have you been stationed here long?”

“About thirty minutes,” Lily admitted, no longer able to keep a smile off her face. “I’m so glad you’re here! Petunia’s been absolutely bonkers--to your right then out the sliding glass doors, yes, can’t miss it!--and she’s been taking it out on me.” She sighed, staring after the second or third cousins she had just admitted. “I can’t tell who’s related to me and who’s related to Vernon anymore.”

Mary smirked. “The ugly ones are his.”

Lily’s eyes widened and her jaw dropped. She was about to burst out laughing when there was a knock at the partially-opened door. “To your right, then out the sliding--” she broke off, staring up at James Potter and Sirius Black.

“Morning,” James said cheerfully. “Lovely place.”

Sirius grinned. “Yeah, thanks for inviting us. Where is the lovely bride and groom-to-be?”

“I--uh--”

“Eloquence is a virtue,” Sirius chided.

Lily frowned. “I’ve never heard that. They’re outside,” she said. “And no...funny business,” she said, lowering her voice.

“Lils, I left all my dungbombs at James’. At least, I think I did.”

James elbowed him. “She means no pranks, idiot.”

“Actually,” Lily said, “I mean no magic.”

Sirius looked surprised. “Lils, I know you’re muggleborn, but your parents must be used to it by now.”

“My entire extended family isn’t! Just...promise me you’ll leave with the Statute of Secrecy intact. Please,” she begged.

James and Sirius exchanged glances. “We solemnly swear,” Sirius said with a grin.

Lily rolled her eyes. “Food’s out back,” she said, jerking her head in indication. “Show them, you two,” she said to Marlene and Mary. “I’ll be along in my few. I promised Mum I’d stay here for at least another fifteen minutes.”

Lily barely lasted ten more minutes before she pawned the responsibility off on one of her cousins. “Please, Helen,” she begged. “Just stand here and greet people. Tuney needs me.”

“Well,” Helen said dubiously. “I _suppose_ \--”

“Wonderful! Thanks so much.” Lily said brightly, but was called back before she could dart off.

Helen nodded her head towards where James and Sirius were standing, laughing at something Marlene had just said. “Either one of those your boyfriend?”

Lily choked. “I--no! Why would you think that, of course--of course not.”

“Then would you get me their numbers?”

“Which?”

“Both. Either.” Helen sighed dreamily. “Just do it, would you?”

Lily sighed. “Sure. Thanks for taking over for me.”

She found her four schoolmates standing around by the desserts table.

Lily grabbed three chocolate tarts. “I need these,” she said, shoving one in her mouth whole.

“Thought you said your mad sister had forbidden chocolate,” James said, bemused.

Lily rolled her eyes. “That’s just for bridesmaids and those of us who will be seen with her--causes acne, you know. Trust me, if she saw me with this--” she spotted Petunia headed towards her, furious. “Shit. She’s seen me.” She shoved the remaining two tarts at James, then rushed over to speak with her great aunt something-or-other.

Petunia eventually seemed to decide that having to talk to a wizard was worse than being seen with a spotty sister, so she left, and Lily excused herself from her hastily constructed conversation.

“Mental,” Lily moaned, taking the tarts back.

Mary shook her head. “I think you dodged a bullet, what with you not being a bridesmaid.”

“Actually,” Lily said, her mouth full of chocolate tart, “she told me I was. A bridesmaid, that is. I’m to report to the dress fitting tomorrow. Which I was going to anyways, but I suppose now I’ll actually have to try on dresses...”

“Congratulations!” Marlene squealed. “Oh, it’s going to be so much fun!”

“With this crowd?” Lily snorted. “I doubt it.” She lowered her voice. “See that woman over there? No, Sirius, that’s my mother. The one with the face like a hag. Yes, her. That’s Vernon’s sister, Marge. She’s to be a bridesmaid as well, and Tuney is _not_ happy about it. You should see her face when Marge comes round--like she’s been force-fed lemons.”

Mary snorted. “I thought that was just her general state of existence.”

Lily’s mother swept by, her teeth clenched in a grin. “Lily,” she said through her teeth, “The cameras are swarming, and Petunia wants to show pictures at her wedding reception. Please try not to look constipated.”

“Mum!”

Mrs. Evans had already swept away, and Lily had plastered a weak smile on her face.

“Lil, I kinda want to hug you right now,” Sirius said. Somehow he had convinced someone to give him a flute of champagne.

Lily wrinkled her nose. “Resist the urge.”

“But you look so sad...”

“Sirius, no!”

She found herself smooshed against Sirius anyways, as he patted her hair in what he clearly thought was a soothing motion but really just mussed up her braid and made shushing noises while James and Mary laughed.

Marlene had disappeared to the buffet, piling her plate high, bringing enough back for the other three. They hid under the dessert table, making fun of the other guests’ choice of footwear.

After what felt like years most of the relatives had filed out, and the Hogwarts students crawled out from under the table.

In the most cliche turn of events yet, Lily found herself face-to-face with her mother’s purple pumps. She looked up into Mrs. Evans face, creased in disapproval.

“Hi mum,” she said cautiously, standing and brushing herself off as the others followed suit behind her.

“Lily I thought I told you to behave,” her mother said in a low voice.

“I was,” Lily said innocently.

Her mother rolled her eyes. “I’m tired and want to go to bed. Please, _please_ be present enough to see the rest of the guests out and turn in.”

Lily nodded her head, her eyes lowered. “Yes, mum.”

Her mother stalked away across the backyard.

“Sorry,” James said guiltily. “Didn’t mean to get you in trouble.”

She shrugged. “Doesn’t matter. I’m bound to do worse this year.”

“We’ll Apparate home,” Marlene said, hugging Lily and taking Mary’s hand. “Potter? Black? You two wanna side-along?”

Sirius shook his head, laughing. “We’ve been Apparating illegally since we were fifteen.”

“See you at school, then,” Mary said, and after checking to make sure the backyard was empty, the two girls disappeared with a pop.

Petunia emerged from the house just then, tugging a white cardigan over her salmon dress in an attempt to still look summery, despite the snow that was now falling fast as the sun lowered.

“Lily--” she stopped short, noticing that Sirius and James were still here. “I don’t think we’ve met,” she said stiffly.

“James Potter,” James said, offering a hand. Petunia eyed it suspiciously, then shook it slowly, as if afraid it might explode. “This is Sirius Black. An absolute madman, if you ask me.”

“Nobody did,” Sirius shot back, but he grinned. “Pleasure to make your acquaintance, madam. Shame you’re getting married, really, you look quite fetching in that.”

As Petunia spluttered indignantly, Lily seized the opportunity. “So sorry about them. They were just leaving.” She dragged the two by the elbows around the side of the house, where an old grill and two rubbish bins lay abandoned.

“What a romantic spot you’ve taken us to, Lils,” James remarked, wrinkling his nose.

“Yeah, I don’t much fancy the atmosphere,” Sirius commented.

Lily rolled her eyes. “A place to Disapparate, morons. Go on then.”

Sirius mock-saluted, then spun and disappeared.

“Bye, then,” James said uncertainly. Lily smiled faintly back.

“Write me?”

James grinned. “’Course.”

Then he, too, was gone.

 


	14. A Potter Carol

CHAPTER FOURTEEN - A Potter Carol

 

“I can’t believe you’re going to a party on Christmas Eve,” Petunia scowled. “Especially with a boy I haven’t met.”

Lily looked up from her vanity, scowling, an earring half in her ear. “You have met him. He came to your engagement party.”

“Oh.” She wrinkled her nose. “Was he the one with the long black hair and a leather jacket?”

“Nope. Other one.” Lily stood up and twirled, her silvery dress flying around her. “What do you think?”

Petunia shrugged, sounding bitter. “Pretty, as always.” She smoothed her white pleated skirt and red Christmas sweater, the picture of perfect holiday celebration. “The one with glasses and ridiculously unkempt hair, then?”

Lily nodded, smiling. “I’m heading over. I’ll be back late, but I’m not sure how late.” She slid her feet into red flats that matched the sash around her waist.

“No later than eleven!” Her mother called from down the hall.

“Mum,” Lily yelled back. “Since when do I have a curfew?”

“Since you go to parties,” Mrs Evans retorted. “Be back by eleven or you don’t go.”

Lily shrugged. “Okay.” She didn’t really expect to stay that late anyway.

She bade Petunia goodbye, marveling internally at how civilly their latest exchange had gone, then stuck out her wand to call the Knight Bus. As she sat on the rattling purple bus, trying to ignore the teenage conductor leering at her from several feet away, cursing her inability to Apparate.

When she finally stumbled off the bus, her stomach churning, she found herself in front of a huge manor with sweeping lawns covered in snow. She shivered and tugged her coat tighter, her wand clutched tightly in her hand. She found herself wondering whether she should have worn dress robes instead.

She forced herself up the front walk, trying not to think of how Muggle she looked at the moment. Lily paused for a moment outside the front door, not hearing any music or people and was momentarily unsure as to whether there was even a party happening, or if Potter had been pulling her leg. She eventually just rang the bell, and found it answered soon after by a house elf, who bowed low to the ground.

The moment the door had opened Lily heard laughter and music, the sound of dancing and fire. Of course, she realized. Magic.

“Thank you,” she murmured as the elf stepped back to let her pass and took her coat. “You...you wouldn’t happen to know where James is, would you? He’s a friend of mine, see, and--”

“Master Potter is in the ballroom,miss,” the elf squeaked, bowing his head low and indicating with a hand. “Binkey can show you, miss, if you would prefer.”

“Oh, no thank you,” Lily said quickly. “I can find my way. Thank you.” She hurried away, down the hall the elf had pointed out. Large oak double doors were thrown open at the end, revealing swirling robes and--to her relief--Muggle dresses like her own, coupled with suits and black robes dancing.

Lily entered the room and stuck to the wall like ivy, taking in the scene. Golden orbs hung detached from the ceiling, casting a warm glow over the whole room, and a band sat in the corner, some of their instruments playing themselves. She found herself smiling at the Christmas tree. It wasn’t extravagantly large, but rather the same size as hers at home, adorned with ornaments that looked homemade. She moved towards it, picking up a small round one with a crudely drawn broomstick on it.

“Made by yours truly,” a voice said behind her, sounding amused.

Lily released the ornament, spinning around. James and Remus stood behind her, the former grinning, the latter seemingly distracted by the chocolate cake he held. “Oh--I was looking for you. I mean, not looking for you, but--well, I had wondered where you were.”

“You look lovely,” James said, his eyes flicking up and down her dress. “Did you Apparate?”

Lily shook her head. “Some of us don’t break the law regularly, Potter.”

Remus snorted into his chocolate cake.

“Where are the other two?” Lily asked, noting the absence of half the Marauders.

James shrugged. “Sirius is chatting up my second or third cousin something or other. He’s probably related to her,” he added as an afterthought.

“Peter’s with Frank,” Remus said.

“Frank is here?”

“Yes, he and his mother always come. Augusta and my mother are--were pretty close.” James blushed at the tense correction, and Lily quickly changed the subject.

“Is this one of those exclusive pure-blood-only parties I’ve heard Sirius rant so much about?”

James snorted. “’Course not. If it were, you wouldn’t find Sirius this side of England. He tends to hide. ‘Course, that’s probably because he’s been blasted off his family tree and had better not show his face round there anymore...” his expression soured for a moment, before clearing again. “Come along, then, you have to try my aunt’s treacle tart.”

Remus nodded in earnest. “Wormtail stuffs it in his pockets.”

“We had to strip him one year.” James made a face. “Be grateful you weren’t here.”

Lily found herself led over to the dessert table, where she was presented with more sweets than she’d ever had access to in her life. Her eyes glazed over as she scanned the length of the table, eventually grabbing a plate and deciding to try one of just about everything.

“James.” A tall older man whose resemblance James bore strikingly stood over the trio, his face curious. “Who is this?”

Lily looked up from her plate, piled high with desserts, and found herself reddening.

“This is Lily Evans, dad.” James grabbed a small biscuit off the top of Lily’s pile and stuffed it in his mouth. “Dad, Lily. Lily, dad.”

Lily made a quick face at James before balancing her plate in her left hand and offered her right. “It’s such a pleasure to meet you, Mr Potter, I’ve heard wonderful things from James.”

He shook her hand warmly, smiling down at her. “And the same to you. Now, I have a question for you, if you don’t mind.” He paused, and Lily nodded. “You’re muggleborn, correct?” She nodded slowly, wary of where the conversation was headed. “Ah, yes, I thought so. Now, we tend to summer in muggle villages, and one of our neighbors wouldn’t stop chattering about some tellvision programme--I think that was it--could you tell me what that is?”

Lily blinked. “Er--” Beside her, James was looking embarrassed. “Do you remember what the programme was?”

Mr Potter tilted his head. “I believe it was something about those muggle Healers...Doctors, you call them?”

Lily nodded again, a smile growing. “I think you’re talking about Doctor Who. It’s one of my favorites, actually!”

“Yes, that was what it was. And what is it?”

“Er...well, there’s this box, see, called the television. And on it are moving pictures...like wizarding photographs, but longer! And there’s a story...I’m doing a terrible job explaining, I’m sorry--”

“Dad,” James interrupted. “Remus can tell you about a tel-thingy whenever. You’re being boring.”

Mr Potter rolled his eyes. “You’re insufferable, James, you know that?”

“You do like to remind me,” James said dryly.

“Why don’t you show Miss Evans around, James? You’re a horrible host.”

James pulled a face. “Yes, dad.”

Mr Potter smiled at Lily once more, bade her farewell, and moved away. James stole another one of her biscuits.

“There’s a whole table not a foot away! Get your own!” She swatted his hand away, but she was smiling. “Your dad’s very sweet.”

“Yeah, sorry about him.” James shrugged. “I could show you around, you know. Gets bloody boring around here.”

Lily nodded, and the three of them left the ballroom. James led her first into a small study just off the hall and pulled a small round mirror from inside his pocket.

“Sirius Black,” he said clearly.

Nothing happened.

“Sirius, you wanker, stop chatting up my elderly relatives and answer me.”

After a few seconds, Sirius’ face appeared on the glass. “What?” he asked.

“We’re escaping,” James said. “Grab Peter.”

Sirius handed the mirror to someone standing next to him, and Peter’s face appeared. “You know, I actually _like_ these parties,” the shorter boy complained.

“There’ll be another one next year,” James commanded. “Meet me in the unused study.” He pocketed the mirror again.

“Escaping?” Lily asked, a small smile twisting her lips. “Is that why you invited me?”

“Naturally,” said Remus.

The door to the office opened, admitting Sirius and Peter. “It was hard to shake Frank off,” Sirius said. “We had to convince him Alice was in grave danger.”

“Alice is at Hogwarts,” Lily frowned. “She always stays.”

Sirius shrugged. “He clearly didn’t remember.”

“Tosser,” Peter put in helpfully.

Lily snorted. “Where to, then?”

“The Grand Potter Tour,” James announced, immediately followed by groans from the other three Marauders. “What? It’s world famous!”

“Yeah, famous for being awful,” Sirius muttered.

“Quiet, or I’ll leave your room off the tour.”

“Please do.”

James led them out the room and down the hall, the boys still grumbling. “Here we have the main entryway,” James began proudly. “Nothing much happens here. It’s a House Elf hub, though, you’ll often see them flashing in and out to grab a coat or whatnot. That closet, right there,” he indicated like a flight attendant, “contains your coats. I see you came without one, Evans, your commitment to baring your shoulders is charming.”

“Or my proficiency at Heating Charms,” Lily muttered.

“The hall we just came from is the west wing, containing an unused study, two bathrooms, and the ballroom, which you’ve already seen. If you’ll look behind you--”

“Prongs, this is exceptionally dull, and I’ve been on this tour twelve times. Just take Evans upstairs to the secret room.” Sirius looked like he was about to hex Potter.

James hesitated, clearly torn between arguing and acquiescing, ultimately deciding on the latter. “Fine,” he said. “Let’s go.”

The secret room, as it turned out, was not so secret. James and Sirius’ rooms were adjoining, and in between there was a small closet-like room full of pictures and scraps of paper that were clearly early drafts of their Map.

“You know, I think this was once a closet,” Lily said, examining the walls. “In fact I’m almost certain.”

“Yes, I think so too,” Remus said quietly, so only Lily could hear. “Don’t tell James, though, he’ll be heartbroken. He’s convinced his love for Sirius and passion for pranking grew an extra room in the house.”

Lily arched an eyebrow. “I’ll be sure not to mention it.”

“Marauder’s meeting,” James called, cuing the others to form a circle on the floor in the middle, with more than a few muttered complaints from Sirius. Lily hovered awkwardly.

“I could wait in your room,” she said hesitantly.

“Nonsense, you’re honorary. We voted on it. Now sit in the circle.”

Sirius grinned. “Evans, you have to sit in the circle. Even I’m doing it, and you know I won’t do anything unless I’m positive it’s certifiably cool.”

“I’m sure that’s not true,” Lily said, but she sat in the circle. “Alright, what’s this meeting for?”

“Things are too dull downstairs,” James began.

“No.”

“Lily, I haven’t finished.”

“No, you’re not pulling the be-all-end-all of pranks in the middle of your father’s Christmas party!”

“It’ll lighten the mood!” He protested. “They’re all being dreadfully boring, keep talking about my mum in these solemn voices--” his own voice cracked, and no one said anything in the silence before he continued: “And I’m getting bloody sick of it.”

Lily sighed. “Fine.”

“Hm?”

“I said fine. What’s your plan?”

James grinned. “First, I’m going to need a suit of armor, something I can transfigure into a goat, and a princess gown.”

 

***

 

“This is ridiculous,” Lily said, spinning in front of the mirror. “I’m not wearing it.”

“Yeah, you could’ve transfigured something a little more...tasteful, Prongs.” Sirius inspected the Head Girl’s appearance with a critical eye.

The dress was garishly pink, which clashed horribly with Lily’s hair, had long poofy sleeves that hung down much too long, a bodice so loose two Lilys could have fit in it, and a hideously frilly skirt. “Make Sirius play the princess.”

Sirius looked offended. “I am not playing the princess if I have to wear that.”

“I want to be the dragon,” Lily complained. “Why can’t I be the dragon?”

“Because Pete claimed the dragon,” James snapped. “We can’t have two dragons!”

“Two dragons means more fire,” Remus said rationally. “That means a more flamboyant show.”

“That is true,” James mused. “Fine. Moony, you make the dress. Evans, you’re in charge of making Sirius look slightly more feminine than he already looks.”

Lily mock-saluted, then went about transfiguring a wig and some makeup. Sirius seemed thrilled to be the center of attention.

“This is getting ridiculous,” Remus muttered under his breath.

“You’ve made that quite clear,” James said. “I don’t like your lack of faith. I find it disturbing.”

Lily’s head snapped up. “Have you seen Star Wars?”

“It’s possible,” James allowed. “Anyways, Remus is going to be the goat.”

Remus seemed offended. “You still haven’t said why there has to be a goat.”

“Something has to draw the attention of everyone in the room,” James said, as if this should have been obvious. “Loosing a goat in the midst of a room of people should make everyone stop what they’re doing.”

Lily shrugged. “I think it makes sense.” She tugged off the hideous dress, letting it fall about her ankles to reveal she had been wearing her first dress under it the whole time. Peter helped Sirius into his dress, and Lily attached the wig to his already-long hair.

“I feel stupid,” Sirius muttered.

“You look gorgeous,” Lily said encouragingly. “Peter, come on, we have to go up to the roof. Being a dragon is tough work.”

James handed Lily his two-way mirror. “You know your cue?”

She nodded. “Right. We’ll open the connection when we send Remus in. Speaking of...” he turned to Remus, a mad glint in his eye, his wand in his hand. “Come here.”

Remus was backing away. “James...”

Lily grabbed Peter and dragged him from the room. “Some things are best left to be sorted out on their own.” She heard a yell from Remus, then the bleating of a goat. “Merlin.” She shook her head. “Is it always like this?”

“Nah, James likes to show off around you.” Peter’s eyes grew large. “You can’t tell him I said that!”

“Of course not,” said Lily soothingly, growing amused. “Show me to the roof, would you?”

 

***

 

Turning Remus into a goat was easy. Getting him to follow orders was significantly harder.

“He has a goat brain,” Sirius said, exasperated. “How did you expect this to work?”

“Better than it is,” James mumbled. He was growing hot in his suit of armor, and the visor kept falling down. “You get in position. I’ll levitate the goat.”

“The goat has a name,” Sirius reminded him, tucking the other mirror into his pocket. “And I’ve grown rather fond of Moony’s human form, make sure you Transfigure him back properly. And don’t lose him!” He slammed the door to the secret room shut behind him.

James looked at the goat that had once been Remus. The goat looked back, blinking calmly.

“What’s that in your mouth--no, stop, that’s my Arrows jersey--” James wrenched the mangled shirt away from the goat-that-was-Remus with some difficulty, tossing it away in disgust. “I’m beginning to think this wasn’t worth it.” He scooped up Remus and tossed his invisibility cloak over himself, hurrying down the hall. Despite his invisibility he was still quite loud, the clanking and bleating echoing around.

He edged his way into the middle of the room, then whipped off the cloak as Sirius emerged from behind a curtain. The goat bleated once, loudly, then ran off out of the room and down the hall.

Unfortunately, most people were still staring down the hall after the goat. James cleared his throat, but it made no difference.

“Help!” Sirius yelled, his voice an octave higher than it usually was. “The dragon!”

At his cry, the windows blew open with an expertly-timed Alohamora from Lily, and a huge plume of fire blew inside the room. James drew his sword and deflected the fire with his shield as the party guests drew away against the walls, watching the spectacle.

“Do not fear, princess!” He cried, brandishing the sword at the unseen dragon. “I will save you!”

Sirius rushed forward to cling to James, as had been arranged.

Another spurt of fire from the window, and James dropped the shield and drew his wand. “ _Aguamenti!”_ He didn’t need to utter it aloud, but it certainly added to the theatrics. The water extinguished the fire, and also drenched two tapestries and three guests, who spluttered indignantly.

“Back, foul beast!” James yelled, thoroughly enjoying himself. “Back from whence you--” he became acutely aware that Sirius had let go of him, and there a sharp rap on his shoulder. He turned slowly to face his father, whose arms were folded and expression was dark.

“Care to explain?” Mr Potter asked, his voice low but thunderous.

James swallowed and slid up his visor. “Hi, dad,” he said. “The skit’s not over yet, though, so if you wouldn’t mind--”

“You have ruined this party and embarrassed yourself. Do you have anything to say for yourself before I send you upstairs to change?”

James had just opened his mouth when he was interrupted by clapping. He turned back around and saw that Lily and Peter had slipped back in through the window and started the applause, which seemed to be growing. He saw Frank Longbottom across the room, looking disgruntled but applauding all the same.

Sirius and James smiled and bowed.

Mr Potter shook his head in disbelief. “We’ll talk about this later,” he said, which James knew to mean absolutely nothing would happen.

With one last sweeping bow, James and Sirius exited back the way they had entered, meeting Lily and Peter back in the unused study next door.

Lily’s face was flushed and she was smiling and bouncing on the balls of her feet. James thought she had never been more beautiful.

“That was spectacular!” She said. “I’ve always wanted to see a dragon, so I guess this was the next best thing...”

“Thanks for saving our necks,” Sirius said, hugging her. “James’ dad would’ve killed us if you hadn’t distracted him.”

“Where’s Moony?” Peter asked, looking around.

“Bugger.”

Sirius turned to James, pulling his wig off. “You didn’t secure the goat?”

“He can’t have gone anywhere!” the Head Boy said frantically. “All the doors and windows are closed!”

Lily just laughed. “How much of Remus is there in there?”

James tilted his head. “I dunno...a little, I think. Enough to recognize us and want to seriously piss us off, probably.”

“And Sirius, where did you say your room was?”  
“Third floor, next to James’...we were just there, where are you going?”

Lily lead the boys back up the stairs to James’ room, from which she entered Sirius’. Sitting on his bed, chewing on his pillow, was Remus-as-a-goat.

“Son of a bitch,” Sirius swore. “Look what he did to my motorcycle model! I bought that in muggle London!”

Lily picked up the chewed model. “I’ll buy you another,” she said. “They sell a million in a shop near where my sister works.”

As James set about Transfiguring Remus back into a werewolf, Sirius began taking off the dress. “I don’t need it, but thanks,” he said. “I have the full-sized thing now.”

Lily’s eyes widened. “You bought a motorcycle?”

Sirius grinned. “Yeah, my uncle Alphard died a few months back, left me a shit ton of gold. Figured I might as well put it to good use, yeah?”

With a pop, Remus was sitting on the bed again. He spat out a few feathers, then turned to James, smiling smugly. “I hope I gave you enough of a fright.”

James ran a hand through his hair, something Lily did not find as annoying as she had in years past. In fact, it was almost endearing.

“Christ, Moony, that’s my pillow you’re eating.” Sirius swiped it away from him, inspecting it for damage. “You’re never allowed in my room again.”

Remus snorted. “You’re the one who turned me into a goat!”

“He’s right,” Peter said. “He has the right to eat as many of your pillows as he wants.”

“Thank you, Pete.”

Lily glanced at the clock on the wall and gasped. “Is it--it _can’t_ be midnight!”

James followed her gaze. “Oh, yeah, it is--Happy Christmas, you lot...”

“I promised my mum I’d be back by eleven--shit, this is bad--I need to go.”

“Are you Apparating?” Remus asked.

Lily shook her head, running back into the secret room where she’d left her purse. “No, no, I’m taking the Knight Bus...crap, I’ll never be home in time, I’m going to be grounded something terrible--” she rummaged through the pile of belongings frantically. “My coat, where’d I put my coat--?”

“Hey.” James grabbed her arm and held her still. “I’ll side-along you home. I remember where your house it.”

“O-okay.”

“And you didn’t bring a coat,” Peter said. “Your quip about Heating Charms, remember?”

Lily took a few calming breaths. “Yeah...yes. Thank you.”

“No problem.” James glanced around. “Okay, I’ll just pop you home then.”

Lily nodded, running her hands through her hair. “What?” she asked. “What’re you looking at me like that for?”

“Nothing,” James said quickly, a small smile turning up the corner of his mouth. “Grab my arm, then, come on.”

Lily did, and followed as James twisted into nothingness, reappearing in the backyard of her house.

She took a few deep breaths. “Thank you,” she said, standing awkwardly before him.

“Of course,” he said, equally as awkwardly.

She looked at him a moment, before leaning forward and hugging him, pulling away with a quick peck on the cheek. “Goodnight, then.”

Lily hurried away then, entering her house through the back door, so she didn’t see James pressing a hand to the spot on his cheek where Lily had hurriedly kissed him. “Yeah,” he said finally, once she’d already disappeared into the darkened house. “Goodnight.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There! All caught up! Leave comments and let me know what you think, I want to hear from you!
> 
> Lots of love,  
> Alys


	15. We Wish You a Merry Christmas

CHAPTER FIFTEEN - We Wish You a Merry Christmas

 

Lily sat at the table, a mug of tea clutched in her hand, as her mother paced in front of her, rambling.

“...at an unfamiliar house, with people I don’t know...couldn’t phone, no way to reach you...irresponsible...”

Lily only caught every other word. Her mind was preoccupied, thinking about what had almost occurred last night outside her house. She could have kissed him. She _would_ have kissed him. What the bloody hell was wrong with her?

“Have you heard a word I’m saying?” Mrs Evans had stopped pacing and stood glaring down at her youngest daughter, her hands on her hips.

“Yes, mum,” Lily responded dully, barely glancing up from the tea in her mug. “Irresponsible daughter. Bad Lily.”

Her mother threw her hands up. “When are you going to gain some responsibility? Petunia’s moving out in a week—”

“To number four Privet Drive, a respectable and responsible endeavor,” Lily finished, rolling her eyes. “It’s Christmas day, mum. Please, can we just go open presents and pretend to be happy?”

Mrs Evans sighed. “Only because it’s Christmas, Lily. Vernon will be over soon.”

Petunia, who appeared to have been lurking behind the doorway, bounded into the room. “Mum!” She said, her voice rising shrilly. “How are you letting her get away with this? If I did something this...this... _irresponsible,_ you’d have never let me get off!”

Mrs Evans sighed. “It’s Christmas, Tuney, and Lily can defend herself.”

“Of course,” Petunia muttered. “Precious Lily. Does whatever she wants.”

Lily scowled. “Can we not do this today? Tuney, it’s _Christmas.”_

“And Vernon’s coming soon,” Petunia sniffed. “So there will be no more mention of that freak show you went to last night.”

“Why haven’t you told him yet?” Lily demanded. “He should know I’m a witch, Petunia, you’re getting married!”

Petunia flinched when Lily said “witch”, but her expression softened. “I...not yet. I’ll tell him, I suppose I must, but...on my terms. When I’m ready.”

Lily shook her head. “Fine. Whatever you think’s best.”

She sat crosslegged by the tree next to Petunia, as they always had, while Mrs Evans sat perched on the sofa behind them, camera gripped in her hand.

“Go on, then,” she said. “Before Vernon arrives.”

Lily pulled the first present into her lap, flat and rectangular and covered in pale blue wrapping paper. She tore off the paper and opened the box, revealing a set of lovely bottle-green dress robes that offset her eyes perfectly. The small note attached told her it was from Hestia.

She shot a glance over to Petunia, who was holding a small crystal unicorn from some friend of hers with a look of awe.

“I’ve seen a unicorn,” Lily said softly. “They’re just as amazing as you’d expect.”

Petunia’s expression soured, and she shoved the unicorn away.

Lily set aside the dress robes and took what was clearly a small book wrapped in red. Her eyes scanned the card, and was forced to smile.

 

_Dear Lily,_

_Happy Christmas, dear! It’s been, what, four years since your last boyfriend? Hopefully this will help, you nun._

 

_Much love,_

_Marlene_

 

Lily unwrapped the book and saw the title, embossed in shiny purple letters that read _Seven Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Wizards: The Long-awaited Sequel to Twelve Fail-Safe Ways to Charm Witches._

She snorted. “Clearly the wizards need less charming than the witches,” she muttered, earning a scandalized look from Petunia.

Tenderly setting the book aside, she reached for another present. A set of quills she’d been eyeing from Alice, a box of chocolate cauldrons and a bottle of butterbeer from Mary, and an assortment of Honeyduke’s candy from Remus and Peter.

Finally two gifts from her friends remained: one hastily wrapped, and one so small it could fit in the palm of her hand. She reached for the messy one first, and tore off the card.

_Evans,_

 

_You better wear this at your wedding._

 

_Cheers,_

_Sirius_

 

Bewildered, Lily tore off the paper quickly, revealing the hideous pink dress she’d worn the night before.

Bursting into laughter, she tossed the card aside and leaned forwards, her shoulders shaking.

Petunia moved aside the wrappings to see what had made Lily laugh so hard and wrinkled her nose. “Not in good taste, is it?” she asked, but it only made Lily laugh harder.

She held the dress close to her chest, closing her eyes and trying to breathe through her giggles. She heard the click of her mother taking a picture, and quickly set the dress down, her laughter subsiding.

The last present, besides the one from her mother, was the tiny one, with no card. Upon removing the paper she realized they were earrings, and when she snapped the case open her eyes fell on two stunning emeralds. She lifted them out of the box, her jaw slackened in shock. She heard a sharp intake of breath from her mother, and a small sound of surprise from Petunia.

“Are they...are they real?” Petunia asked, her own pile abandoned.

“If they’re from who I think they are,” said Lily, “then yes.”

A small note was folded under the earrings. Lily quickly removed the cheap pearls that were in her ears at the moment and replaced them with the emeralds, then unfolded the note.

 

_Lily,_

_Please don’t kill me for getting you something so expensive. We were going through my mum’s jewelry (which she left to me for some reason), seeing what to give to her sisters and what to sell, when I found these and immediately thought of you. Well, more specifically your eyes._

_Happy Christmas!_

_James_

 

Lily’s eyes scanned the note quickly, then she folded it back up again and tucked it into her pocket.

“That’s some friend you have,” Mrs Evans said in awe, admiring her daughter’s new present.

“Now onto yours,” Petunia said, reaching for her own present from her mother. The girls had stopped exchanging presents a few years ago, something that made Lily’s heart ache. It was for the best, though, she supposed, because Petunia just threw out anything Lily got for her in the fear that it would explode or something equally ridiculous.

Lily snapped the earrings case closed again and set it aside, reaching for the last present under the tree.

“Petunia, I know yours isn’t that big, but don’t forget that your wedding present is coming soon, and—”

“Oh, mum,” Petunia said, rolling her eyes. “You don’t have to get me anything, you’re paying for the wedding, and that’s enough.” She leaned forward and hugged the older woman, who seemed to be fighting back tears.

“My baby, getting married soon...”

“Mum, save the tears for the wedding!”

“Ooooh, the _wedding,_ you’re moving _out_ and getting _married_ _—_ _”_

“Mum,” Lily interrupted. “You have three months until Tuney gets married.”

Mrs Evans moved back to her spot on the couch, nodding and drying her eyes.

Lily opened her own present from her mother and gasped.

A small orange kitten was sleeping at the bottom of the box, which Lily now realized had holes poked into it. It opened its eyes and blinked up at her.

“Oh my god,” Lily whispered.

“He’s about a month old,” Mrs Evans said, smiling through her semi-dried tears. “Your Hogwarts letter _does_ say cats are allowed, so—”

“He’s perfect,” Lily said. “Aren’t you, you beautiful boy?” She lifted the kitten out of the box.

“You know what you have to name him,” Petunia said, her eyes on the cat. “You’ve been talking about naming a cat since you were five—”

“Herbert Humphrey Wilfordshire III,” Lily said, snorting. “Herbie for short.”

“Happy Christmas,” Mrs Evans said, pulling her daughter into a hug.

Herbie yawned, curling up on Lily’s lap and going back to sleep.

“I love him so much,” Lily said, scratching him behind his tiny ears. “I love you, mum.”

“I love you too, Lily.”

Petunia was smiling at Herbie, but hovering awkwardly beside the two until Lily reached out and yanked her older sister into the hug, and for once she didn’t protest.

It was a Christmas Miracle if she’d ever seen one.

 


	16. And a Happy New Year

CHAPTER SIXTEEN - And a Happy New Year

 

It seemed like no time passed at all between Christmas and New Years. Lily had been invited to a party at Mary’s house, and so she found herself facing an issue.

“Last time I let you go to a party, you came back an hour and a half after your curfew,” Mrs Evans said coldly, her arms folded. “How do I know it won’t happen again?”  
“Because it’s _Mary,_ mum! She’s muggleborn, you’ve been to her house, you have her number—come on, mum, this is completely different, _please_ let me go!”

Mrs Evans seemed to consider it. “I don’t suppose you’d take Petunia, would you?”

“She most certainly will not!” Petunia appeared in the doorway, looking horrified. “ _Mum._ You can’t seriously make me go to one of her promiscuous gatherings!”

“Promiscuous gatherings?” Lily scoffed. “Come on, Tuney, it’s just _Mary._ ”

“Lily’s right,” Mrs Evans said solemnly, nodding. “Petunia, you’re going.”

Petunia’s eyes widened at the very thought. “Mum! Are you—you have to be kidding me.”

Lily, too, was shaking her head. “She’ll just be rude to my friends, mum, you can’t make her come!”

“I need _someone_ responsible looking after you, Lils.”

Lily rolled her eyes, something she seemed to be doing a lot of lately. “You’ve met Mary. It’s just a get-together at her house! Me, Marlene, Alice, Hestia...I think Dorcas Meadowes will be there, too, she was a year above me, you remember her!”

But a few hours later Lily and Petunia found themselves on the front steps of their house, Petunia grumbling and shifting uncomfortably in her mint green frock.

“I—er, I was going to take the Knight Bus,” Lily said. “But we can take a cab, I guess.”

Petunia sniffed, stepping into the street and hailing one. The ride was mostly silent, and the brownstone building they arrived at was dark and quiet. Lily paid the driver as she and her sister exited the cab.

“You’re sure there’s a party here,” Petunia said suspiciously.

Lily nodded, then stepped up to the door and knocked.

After a few seconds the door opened, Mary’s face squeezed into the crack. Behind her Lily could see bright lights and a few people milling about, laughter and music spilling across the threshold.

“Lily!” Mary flung the door open and embraced her friend.

“No password this time?” Lily teased. “What if I were a Death Eater?”

Mary shrugged. “No Death Eater would be seen _dead_ at a muggleborn’s parties. Now come _in,_ Marlene and James are about to come to blows.” She caught sight of Petunia, and her eyes narrowed. “Petunia.”

Petunia nodded in disdain. “Hello.”

“Come in,” Mary said, her eyes still on Petunia, who swept past her into the house. “What is she doing here?” Mary hissed in surprise.

Lily sighed. “Mum forced her to come with me. She doesn’t trust me, ever since I stayed out late at James’ Christmas party.”

Mary raised her eyebrows. “You went to the Potter’s Christmas party?”

“Well, yeah, that’s what I just said. Can I come in, Mary? It’s snowing and I’m cold.”

Mary laughed and stood back to allow the Head Girl in.

“These people are all...like you?” Petunia asked, eyeing Aaron McKinnon and Dirk Cresswell chatting in the corner and Marlene pouring herself coffee from the pitcher on the counter, then magically refilling it.

“Here,” Lily said quickly, not answering her sister’s question. “You can stay in Mary’s room, if you want. It’s quiet and out of the way.”

Petunia eyed the inside of the room, with its moving Quidditch posters and the wand lying on the bedside table. “Is it...safe?”

“It’s Mary’s _room,_ Tuney, of course it’s safe.” Petunia slipped inside and Lily raised her want to cast a silencing charm when she remembered she wasn’t of age. “Er...be right back. Stay here.”

Lily darted across the room, finding Sirius and Remus against the wall by the record player. “Sirius,” she panted. “You’re of age, right?”

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “Was that supposed to be some sort of a proposition, Evans?”

“No, you idiot—I need you to cast a silencing spell on the room my sister’s in. My magic would be detected—we’re in a muggle house.”

“Why is your sister here?” Remus asked. “I thought she hated wizards.”

“She does, mum forced her along—doesn’t matter now, she’ll wander off soon if we don’t shut her in.”

Sirius pushed himself off the wall, scowling. “Fine. But I hope you know you’re interrupting a rather lovely date.”

“No you’re not,” Remus said, elbowing Sirius, who grinned.

Lily lead Sirius back over to the room where her sister had been—which was, of course, empty. “Oh no,” she said frantically. “Where the hell did she wander off to?”

Sirius exhaled, pressing a hand to his head. “Christ, Evans. I love you, but this is ridiculous.”

“You’ve met my sister! She’s probably...cleaning the bathroom, o-or reorganizing the kitchen!”

“In which case, you can fetch me when she’s done making MacDonald’s house livable again.”

Having been abandoned, Lily went in search of Petunia herself, cursing Sirius Black and everyone else who crossed her path.

She found her sister finally outside the bathroom, talking in stilted tones to none other than James Potter.

“Potter,” Lily said in surprise. “Hello.”

“Hey, Evans. You get back alright?”

“Yes, but as you can see, my mother no longer trusts me.” She nodded to Petunia. “I need a babysitter now.”

James laughed, running a hand through his hair. “Your sister was just telling me about how irresponsible you are, Evans. I’d have never believed it if it had come from anyone else.”

Lily scowled. “Tuney,” she said. “Stop it.”

Petunia scowled right back. “You left me in that girl’s room with those moving pictures.”

James grinned, looking maddeningly at ease. “Thanks for the Christmas present, by the way, Lils. Sirius has already stolen half of them, but it’s the thought that counts.”

“Funny, he doesn’t strike me as an Arrows fan.” Lily grabbed Petunia’s arm. “I think we’re going to head home, though. This isn’t working out.”

“They were cupcakes shaped like arrows, Evans. Sirius wouldn’t care if they were shaped like dicks, he’d eat them anyways.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “That I don’t doubt. See you around, Potter.”

“Nice seeing you, Lily.”

She bade Mary a quick goodbye and dragged her sister back out the front door, where it was as silent as if no one was home. Petunia wriggled out of her grasp. “I cannot believe you took me all the way out here for five minutes.”

Lily sighed. “Let’s get some dinner, Tuney. Just you and me.”

Petunia hesitated. She looked as if she were about to accept. “No,” she said finally. “I have a date with Vernon. I called him while you were otherwise occupied.”

“That’s why you left,” Lily muttered. “Fine. I’m going back in. Have fun with Vernon.”

“Lily—”

But Lily had already gone back inside, welcomed by the warmth and the sound of some Wizarding band she hadn’t heard of.

“You’re back,” Mary noted. “Where’s the sister, dear?”

Lily shook her head. “Off with the fiance. It doesn’t matter. I’m here now.”

Mary gazed at her sympathetically. “Wishing you’d stayed at Hogwarts for your last year?”

“ _Yes,”_ Lily said with relish. “I miss Hogwarts.”

“It’s New Years,” Mary said earnestly. “Time for new beginnings. In two hours, you’ll probably get kissed by someone. Say goodbye to this year, Lily, because the next one will be better.”

Lily’s heart gave an involuntary flutter. “You’re amazing at pep talks, you know?”

Mary winked. “I know.”

Lily moved to the window, pushing the curtain aside. Sure enough, a car was pulling out front, and Petunia was getting in. The form of Vernon Dursley could be seen through the window, and Lily let the curtain fall back into place.

Two hours until 1978. It couldn’t come soon enough.

 

***

 

Five minutes before midnight Lily found herself in Mary’s room with Remus and Hestia, discussing Mary’s choice of guests.

“I’m just surprised none of the Gryffindor seventh years stayed at Hogwarts,” Lily mused.

“But she didn’t invite any Slytherins or Ravenclaws,” Remus said, “and I know for a fact most of them came home.”

Hestia shrugged. “Maybe she just doesn’t like Ravenclaws.”

“This conversation is _boring,”_ Lily said bluntly. “I’m having an awful day.”

Remus blinked. “You don’t have to be here, Lily.”

“I’m sorry.” She sighed. “My bloody sister is driving me up the wall again.”

Marlene stuck her head in the door. “Come on, you lot. We’re counting down.”

The three of them made their way into the living room, where ribbons of blue light had twisted themselves into numbers, counting down the minutes and seconds until the new year. Lily watched as they numbers bent and changed, from 4:32 to 4:31 and lower.

She crossed her fingers. _Please let this year be better,_ she wished silently. _Please let this war end._

Bottles of butterbeer and firewhiskey were being passed around, and Lily took the former—it wouldn’t do to come home not only without Petunia but also drunk.

Three minutes. Alice and Frank seemed to have forgotten that the tradition was to kiss _at_ midnight, not in the five minutes leading up to it. Lily wondered if she should go inform them of their mistake.

Two minutes. Where was James? Lily hadn’t seen him since she’d still been with Petunia. Maybe he’d gone home to his parents. But no, Sirius was still here, and he wouldn’t have left without him. Marlene was edging closer to where Aaron McKinnon stood, Lily noted, probably waiting to snog him senseless.

One minute. The excitement in the air was tangible now, and Lily found it infectious. Hestia was sitting on the couch reading a book. Remus was leaning against the counter next to Sirius, the two of them chatting animatedly. Peter seemed to be eyeing Mary.

Nine.

Lily took another sip of her butterbeer. _Please let this year be better._

Five.

_Please let this war end._

As screams of delight erupted around her, Lily felt a tap on her shoulder and turned to see a grinning James Potter.

“Happy New Years,” he said.

Lily was about to wish him the same when he leaned forward, lifted her chin with his hand, and kissed her.

She was so frozen in shock she almost forgot to kiss him back. Almost.

James pulled away, still grinning. “Nice earrings,” he said, before disappearing back in the crowd.

Feeling faint, Lily reached up to feel her earlobes, and realized she was wearing the emerald ones he had given her.

It was a New Year’s kiss, she told herself. It didn’t count.

But it still felt amazing.

 

***

 

Lily floated home as if in a dream. Even the jerking and swaying of the Knight Bus could not deter her. 1978 so far seemed wonderful, she decided. Definitely a better year. She had to think about what this meant, of course. She could taste firewhiskey on her lips—clearly he had been drunk, and hopefully wouldn’t remember anything. Part of her hoped he would.

She paid the conductor and hopped off the bus, noting that Petunia was waiting for her outside.

“We’d both be in trouble if we didn’t get home at the same time,” her sister whispered.

Lily found herself smiling. “You didn’t have to sit out in the snow for me, Tuney!”

Petunia shrugged, her face obscured by darkness so Lily couldn’t make out her expression. The older girl unlocked the door and stepped inside, Lily joining her and shucking off her coat.

“I told him.”

Lily’s blood froze in her veins. She couldn’t respond, couldn’t ask Petunia what she meant.

Petunia went on. “Vernon, I mean. I told him. About you. Starting the year honest.”

Lily found her voice at last. “And?” she asked, her voice shaking.

“He doesn’t blame me,” she said simply. “But he agrees that you’re abnormal.”

“I—”

“And you’re not a bridesmaid,” Petunia said, her voice cold.

“Tuney, how could you—”

The older girl started up the stairs to her room. “I can’t have you ruining my wedding, Lily. It’s good I’m moving out next week; when you come home for Easter and the wedding, I won’t have to see you every morning.”

Once Lily heard the door to Petunia’s room shut, she finally allowed herself to sink to her knees and sob—a horrible, gut-wrenching sob that she was sure her sister could hear but clearly didn’t care much about one way or the other.

So much for her new year.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! Latest chapter here. Thanks so much for leaving comments, I love hearing from you! :)  
> I still don't own Harry Potter.  
> I'm working on it.  
> (that was a joke, to JKR's lawyers who are of course reading this and not doing anything more important)  
> (that was also a joke)
> 
> It's late, I'm tired, and going to stop making jokes that I'm sure in the light of day will prove to be far more embarrassing than they are now.
> 
> TTFN,   
> Alys


	17. Neither Sense Nor Sensibility

CHAPTER SEVENTEEN - Neither Sense Nor Sensibility

 

The train ride back to Hogwarts was relatively uneventful. Lily sat in her usual compartment with Marlene and Mary and Hestia, though Alice was nowhere to be found.

A group of boys passed by the door, and Lily quickly lifted her book to cover her face.

Marlene and Mary exchanged glances. “It’s not him,” Mary said.

Lily lowered the book an inch, so only her eyes looked over the top. “Not who?” she asked innocently.

“You know exactly who, Lily Evans!” Marlene snatched the book away from Lily, despite her protests. “You’ve been avoiding James!”

“I have not,” Lily said. “Give me back my book.”

“It’s not even yours,” Hestia said, not looking up from her own. “It’s Alice’s. You borrowed it.”

“Have you been ignoring his letters, too?” Mary demanded, her eyes widening. “Oh, Lily, you’ve shunned him! Is he even on this train? Did you _kill him?”_

Lily threw her head back against the seat, glaring upwards at the ceiling as if it had personally offended her. “Mary,” she said. “I did not kill James Potter. I also did not ignore his letters, because he didn’t _send_ any more letters after New Years. He’s avoiding me as much as I’m avoiding him.”

“So you _are_ avoiding him!” Marlene said triumphantly, pointing a finger at Lily. “I knew it!”  
“I’m going to go find a different compartment.”

Mary lunged forward and grabbed Lily’s arms, keeping her in place (though she’d made no effort to actually get up). “I saw you two on New Years,” she said, her eyes gleaming. “You just left afterwards.”

“Mary, honestly,” Lily huffed. “It was just a New Years kiss. It didn’t mean anything.”

Marlene spluttered. “Lily, New Year’s kisses are _meant to be.”_

“Are you very drunk?”

Hestia snorted. “Wouldn’t put it past her,” she muttered.

“All right, time for a subject change,” Lily announced, reaching into her book bag. “Meet Herbert Humphrey Wilfordshire III.” She lifted the small kitten out of her bag, and the subject of James Potter was not brought up again for the rest of the ride.

 

***

 

Once off the train, Lily managed to lose her friends and find a carriage that was mostly empty, save two Hufflepuff second year girls. As the door swung shut and the Thestral set off, one of the girls nudged the other, leading her to speak:

“Y-you’re the Head Girl, right?”

Lily turned away from the window and smiled. “I am, yes. Who are you?”

“I’m Sarah MacMillan,” the girl replied. “And this is Beckie Goldman.”

“I’m Lily Evans,” Lily said. “It’s nice to meet you.”

The girl named Beckie fidgeted in her seat for a moment. “Um...are you a muggleborn?”

Lily nodded.

Beckie relaxed visibly. “So am I,” she confided. “Sarah’s a pureblood, she shows me around.” Sarah nodded eagerly. “But over the break one of her cousins was talking to me—”

Sarah’s back straightened. “You didn’t say anything,” she said.

“I didn’t want to make a fuss!” Beckie said. She seemed on the verge of hyperventilation, so Lily placed a hand on her knee and spoke kindly.

“Just breathe,” she advised. “What’s the matter?”

“One of her cousins—I don’t remember who, Sarah—he told me I shouldn’t be at Hogwarts. He said I could never be a—a witch, because I was no better than a Muggle.” Beckie took a ragged breath, and Sarah looked as shocked as Lily felt.

Lily exhaled slowly. The castle was growing larger out the window, and the sky was darkening fast. “Beckie,” Lily began. “Some people in this world think muggleborns like us are less than pureblooded or halfblooded witches and wizards. They hold antiquated views on the world, and you shouldn’t listen to them. Sarah doesn’t believe that, do you?” She directed her question to the girl, who shook her head emphatically. “Then you know who your friends are,” Lily said simply. “Look, I won’t sugarcoat things because you’re twelve—things are getting bad. Vol—You-Know-Who is getting powerful, and things are dangerous for people like us.” Beckie’s eyes had grown fearful, so Lily backtracked quickly. “What I mean to say it, plenty of people will think you’re not worth anything. What’s important is that you show them you _are_ worth it. You’re a witch, and you know it, and Sarah knows it, and Professor Dumbledore knows it. You have five more years at Hogwarts, and while you’re here, you’re as safe as you can get. That’s plenty of time for things to improve.”

By the time she had finished speaking the carriage had arrived at the front gate. Beckie and Sarah slipped out the door first, and Lily followed them, her feet crunching in the snow. Her heavy winter robes were still in her trunk, so she shivered and pulled her Gryffindor scarf tighter around her neck and mouth.

“Thank you,” Beckie said softly, as Sarah took her hand and pulled her along towards the castle. By the time they reached the huge double doors, they were giggling and running like twelve-year-olds again. Lily watched the two of them wistfully, missing when her worries could just melt away—

“All right, Evans?”

Lily jumped about a foot, her heart hammering in her chest. She sagged when she saw who it was. “Potter! You nearly gave me a heart attack.”

He had brought his winter robes, and his hands were shoved in the pockets as he scuffed his foot in the snow. “Yeah, sorry. Listen, we should probably talk—”

Lily did not want to talk. In fact, that was the last thing she wanted to do. “You know, I’d _love_ to,” she began, “really, I would, but see, I’m looking for Alice, haven’t found her anywhere, and it’s really desperate I talk to her...”

“Oh.” James looked a bit crestfallen, and Lily’s heart twinged. “I think she’s up at the castle already.”

“Thank you,” Lily said, trying to put genuine thanks in her words, before turning and sprinting up to the castle.

“Lily!” He called after her, but she pretended not to hear.

Once she was in the Entrance Hall, she hid among the giant hour glasses, between Slytherin and Ravenclaw. It wasn’t a very good hiding spot, but it was out of the immediate gaze, and would work for her to collect her thoughts. This hiding thing was ridiculous. She was nearly seventeen years old, she shouldn’t be running away from some boy.

As James walked into the Hall, shaking his head and muttering something she couldn’t hear, she decided she could stand to be ridiculous for just a few minutes longer, at least until he was out of sight.

“Er...Lily?”

Her head snapped up. James was gone, but Marlene and Mary were looking down at her, concerned.

“Are you...feeling okay?”

“No,” Lily shook her head, getting to her feet and brushing herself off. “I’m positively mental. I’m sure I’ll recover at some point before I’m eighty.”

“Right,” Mary said slowly. “Our things are probably back up in the tower, so if you’re not going to run off again, we could head up together.”

“Sounds wonderful,” Lily said, making an effort to sound cheerful. “I’m sorry,” she said as they walked. “It’s been a weird past few days. Where’s Hestia?”

“She’s searching the grounds for you,” Marlene said. “I’d go and look for her, but frankly it’s too bloody cold out there and I don’t care enough to go out there.”

Lily snorted, a smile finally finding her lips. “Some friend you are.”

Marlene nudged her with her shoulder, smiling herself. “I’ll have to be back out there tomorrow, though. It’s Monday, and Potter _always_ makes us run laps around the pitch on Mondays.”

Lily stopped in her tracks. “Marlene, what day is it today?”

“Er...Sunday? I just said, tomorrow’s—”

“Not the _day,_ the date,” she said impatiently.

“The eighth,” Marlene said, sounding unsure. “Why? You have a hot date?”

Lily sighed and resumed walking. “I have a week,” she muttered, mostly to herself. “A week to come to some sort of conclusion.”

“Er...what’s in a week?” Mary asked.

“Quidditch game,” Marlene said immediately.

“I promised him I’d go,” Lily moaned. “Why did I promise him I’d go?”

“You always go to Quidditch games,” Marlene frowned.

Lily winced. “About that...”

“You said you went to every one of my games!” Marlene was outraged. “You _lied_ to me?”

“Not...not exactly. I _went_ to them...well, past them. I usually went to Hagrid’s place during Quidditch games. You get the commentary and the rock cakes, but you don’t give Potter the satis...satisfaction,” she finished weakly.

All three girls had stopped walking. They were on the landing of the fourth floor, and Mary was looking between them worriedly.

“So you lied to me and didn’t come to my games because of some _stupid feud?”_ Marlene demanded. “Come on, Lily! You could have at least _told_ me! Or, even better, just _come_ and not cared what _Potter_ thought, since clearly his opinion means more to you than seeing me play!”

“It’s not that big a deal,” Lily protested. “I went in fourth year, when you made the team, and I know what happened! I just...I had homework to do, and Hagrid would help me with Care of Magical Creatures, you know that’s my worst subject, Marl! I’m sorry,” she was breathing heavily now, her eyes burning with tears. “I’m so sorry, Marlene, I didn’t think it meant this much to you—”

“Of course it doesn’t,” she snapped. “You really think I’m that _petty?_ Merlin, you don’t get it, do you? It’s not the _games_ I care about, Lily! It’s the fact that you’ll do anything for Potter—to avoid him, or to get back in his good graces, whatever—and it completely takes over your life!”

“Marlene,” Mary said quietly, her eyes still on Lily. “Come on. You don’t mean that.”

“I do,” the blonde said hotly. “And she knows it.” She turned on her heel and continued up the stairs, but paused near the top and said gruffly, “I’ll probably get over this soon, Lily, but until then I think it’s best if you just leave me alone.”

Mary hesitated for a moment, watching Lily as she stared firmly at the ceiling, then hurried up the stairs after Marlene.

Once she was certain she was alone, Lily sunk to the floor and allowed herself to cry. Of course Marlene was right, of course Petunia was right. Her fault. It was all her fault. She’d disregarded her friends, all for what? Potter?

Her shoulders shook, and she pulled her knees to her chest, pressing her forehead to them to steady herself. She tried to think rationally. She’d need to get water into her system fast, otherwise she’d have a nasty headache later. She also needed to get out of this hallway, or someone might see her—

“Evans?”

Bloody hell.

“Leave me alone,” she said coldly, not lifting her head. “Leave me _alone,_ Potter.”

“I—er—I heard Abbott yelling. Are you alright?”

“I’m bloody _brilliant,”_ Lily snapped, pulling herself to her feet and grabbing her bag, brushing off James’ hands as he tried to help her. “Hands off, Potter. I’m perfectly capable.”

“I don’t doubt that,” he muttered. “Are you—”

Lily let out a humorless laugh. “God, you don’t know when to leave well enough alone, do you, Potter? This is all because of _you,_ you—you absolute—you—” she struggled, trying to find a word that fit her anger, however misdirected, but could not find one strong enough. “This is _your_ fault!” That was completely wrong, she knew, but it still felt good.

“Fine,” he said, anger burning in his eyes. “I’ll go.”

Lily didn’t wait for him to leave, instead storming her way back into Gryffindor Tower in a blur of tears that refused to stop and shaky breaths. She practically spat the password (“Beedle the Bard”) at the Fat Lady, who looked offended as she swung forward, and pushed aside several first years in her hurry to get to her own room.

She tugged at the door, finding it locked.

“I won’t say his name,” she muttered. “Why the _hell_ did I make my bloody password his name?” she kicked it, the _thud_ echoing around the stone stairwell. “Fine!” she said, more loudly. “You win!” After glancing around to make sure she was alone, she said “Potter” spitefully, then once she was inside tugged out her wand and changed the password to something that would be easier. “Lily Evans is a twat,” she said, satisfied with her work.

Then, upon remembering everything she had done in the past five minutes, she collapsed on her bed next to her trunk (brought by House Elves, no doubt) and sobbed.

 

***

Lily awoke early the next morning, around four. She quickly donned her uniform and her heavy winter robes, expecting it to be cold out in the castle. She left her wand by her bed; for some reason she couldn’t bring herself to use magic.

She hurried down the spiral staircase and across the common room, where a house elf was rekindling the fire for the next day, and out into the corridor.

“Up early?” The Fat Lady said stiffly, clearly still miffed about Lily’s behavior last night.

“I’m sorry,” Lily said honestly. “Yesterday was...a mistake. I’m on my way to set things right.”

The Fat Lady smiled gently. “It’s all right, dear. We all make mistakes.”

“I hope my friends think the same,” the Head Girl responded, and bade the portrait a farewell before continuing her trek down the stairs.

Hogwarts in the early morning, before the sun had risen, was very different from Hogwarts at night. Lily wasn’t sure when exactly the change took place, but at some point the castle switched from being alive and breathing with mystery to bleary-eyed and yawning out the cold morning air.

Lily’s path took her down to near the dungeons, and closer to the Hufflepuff common room. Once she had gained access to the kitchens, several house elves turned her way.

“How may we help you, miss?” a small elf squeaked from her right elbow.

Lily sighed. “I just...I want to bake. I need to make fudge, or biscuits, something by hand and not by magic. And I need a lot of it.”

The elves whispered between each other, before taking her hand and leading her to one of the long tables, before hurrying off to retrieve flour and eggs and sugar and chocolate. When all was set up and the elves stood watching her, she nearly wept with relief.

“Thank you,” she said. “This is perfect.”

Lily set to work, letting her mind go blank as her brain went on autopilot, cracking eggs perfectly into glass bowls and mixing in baking soda, her eyes glazing over as she reveled in this oasis of calm.

She knew Marlene was right; she’d let her pointless feud with Potter get in the way of things she really wanted to do—she liked Quidditch, after all, but had convinced herself she didn’t because of him.

In a way, everything she did seemed to revolve around him. She’d discovered most of her secret passageways while taking pains to avoid him, had even bonded with most of her friends over mocking him.

There was something seriously wrong about that.

As she slid the tray into the oven and leaned against the counter, her heart skipped a beat at the thought of having to confront James and Marlene. Cookies should be a nice peace offering, she reasoned, if the damage hadn’t been too deep.

And she hoped it wasn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, Alys here! I know, I know, it's been a downer few chapters. I promise chapter 18 will look up. I've gotten some really sweet comments here, I love every single one of you! 
> 
> Until next time, then!  
> All my love,  
> Alys


	18. The Hardest Word

CHAPTER EIGHTEEN - The Hardest Word

The cookies had been safely bagged and stuffed in her book bag, a cooling charm cast upon them. She would see Marlene first, so Lily removed a few, arranged them on a plate she’d borrowed from the kitchens, and cast a heating charm. Marlene liked her chocolate chips melted, Lily recalled.   
She spotted Marlene outside the Transfiguration classroom, watching the snow pile up until it could be visible from the windows. Lily tapped the other girl on the shoulder.  
Marlene spun, a snarl on her face, which fell when she realized it was Lily. “Oh,” she said. “Lily. I”  
Lily held up a hand. “Don’t say anything. Marl, I’m sorry for how I’ve acted the past few weeks. Months. Okay, years. I’ve been a bloody awful friend, and far too wrapped up in petty issues that I should have gotten over a long time ago.” She thrust the plate towards her friend. “Here. They’re still warm.”  
Marlene took a cookie slowly, and bit into her. Her eyes closed in bliss. “Merlin, have I told you how much I love it when you bake?”  
Lily grinned. “Only a few hundred times.”  
“I was going to apologize too,” the blonde said, her eyes dropping. “I said some things that weren’t true, I pinned too much on you, Lily, and I’m sorry.”  
Lily waved the apology aside. “It’s nothing,” she said. “Let’s make it nothing.”  
“And never fight again?”  
“I don’t know about that,” Lily said with a smile. “I hear I’m pretty hard to get along with.”  
Marlene grinned, and seemed about to say something more when Hestia and Alice ran up, out of breath. Alice’s cheeks were red and there were smudges around her eyes from her mascara.  
“What’s wrong?” Lily asked, her face immediately falling to concern. “What happened?”  
“There—” Hestia glanced at Alice, who seemed too distraught to talk, then continued: “There was an attack. Three Muggles in Cokeworth, near Spinner’s End. Aurors made it to the scene while there were still Death Eaters—” she held out the paper, which Lily grabbed. Her eyes scanned it hungrily, reading for names, names, names of the Muggles, who were they, for Merlin’s sake she didn’t care about what the neighbors hear, who were they?  
“Unidentified,” Alice said hoarsely. “They don’t know who they w-were yet. B-but Lily, some Aurors were killed. M-my cousins, Fabian and G-Gideon, they were there, they were k—” she choked off, tears streaming down her cheeks as Lily pulled her into a hug.  
“Shh,” Lily said, stroking Alice’s hair. “Breathe. You’ll be okay.” What else could she say?  
Hestia looked troubled. “How close to Spinner’s End do you live, Lily?”  
Though worry was clouding her mind, Lily forced herself to be rational. “A few streets over, I think,” she said. “I’ll write home about it.”  
“But you don’t think—”  
“No,” Lily said abruptly. “I don’t. I can’t.” She pulled away from Alice. “Dear, I’m going to take you to Madam Pomfrey. She can give you something, and then you can arrange—arrange to go home.” Lily’s voice shook as she spoke. Gideon and Fabian, dead. Her own father had died when she was not so young, but somehow it was different. It wasn’t from a war, it wasn’t from something that still threatened her and her friends.   
“Here.” Lily pulled a cookie from where Marlene held them, still frozen in shock. Alice took it numbly, and held it to her lips but didn’t bite.  
Hestia shook herself slightly. “I’ll take her,” she said, her voice coming out slightly guttural. “Come on, Al. Let’s go.”  
“Frank,” Alice said suddenly. “I don’t know where he is! He doesn’t know, I can’t—”  
“I’ll tell him,” Lily promised. “I swear, Alice, I’ll find him and tell him.” Once Alice had been dragged away, Lily mumbled, “It’s the least I can do.”  
The hallways were empty, and the two girls realized they were missing class.   
“I don’t think I can go,” Marlene said, her voice cracking. Her eyes were rounded with shock, her lips parted and her hands shaking. Lily gently took the plate of cookies from here.   
“We can eat them later,” she said. “I’ll hang on to them. I know how we can find Frank.”  
“How?” Marlene asked listlessly. “He’s probably in class.”  
“Well,” Lily said slowly. “I might be wrong. Potter might have it, or maybe Black does. But if I’m right, and it’s still there...come on.”  
Marlene followed the redhead, dumbfounded. “I have no idea what you’re talking about!” she hissed.  
“Good,” Lily replied. “I shouldn’t even be telling you about it, probably. But seeing as Potter’s already mad at me, I figure he can’t get any more angry.” She led Marlene back up to the seventh floor, her breath coming in short bursts as she finally reached the portrait of the Fat Lady.  
“Shouldn’t you be in class?” The painting scolded.  
“It’s urgent,” Lily said. “Beedle the Bard.”  
The Fat Lady shook her head sadly. “The Head Boy changed the password a few hours ago. Seemed quite angry, too.”  
Lily threw her hands up. “Are you serious? Okay. Okay. Um...is it ‘Lily Evans is a twat’?”  
The Fat Lady raised an eyebrow delicately. “No.”  
“Well then, I’m out of ideas. Marlene, you try.”  
“As Head Girl, don’t you get automatic entry?” Marlene looked from the portrait to Lily, confusion etched on her face. “Maybe we should just go to class. Find Frank later.”  
“You go, then,” Lily said. “I promised Alice I would. She’s in distress, Marlene. I cannot leave her in a state of distress without her boyfriend.”  
Marlene sighed. “Fine. I think I remember Frank saying once he had a free period around now...I’ll check the library. You keep guessing the password, or whatever it is you’re doing.”  
Lily waved her friend away, but not before Marlene darted back, shoved her hands in Lily’s bag, and retrieved her cookies.  
“What?” she said off Lily’s look, her mouth already full. “I’m hungry.”  
Lily smiled, then turned back to the Fat Lady. “Can’t you just let me in?” she asked.  
The Fat Lady deliberated. “Very well, I suppose,” she said. “But how do I know you’re really Lily Evans?”  
“Er...” Lily pondered this for a moment. “The last password was ‘Beedle the Bard’. I told you I’d chosen it because when I was eleven I bought the book and fell in love with it.”  
The portrait sighed, then swung forward to admit her.  
James sat on the couch, staring moodily into the fire.  
“Thanks for telling me about the password change,” Lily said snidely. “You know, I was actually going to find you and apologize this morning!”  
“Really,” James drawled. “Is that why you skived off Transfiguration? To berate me?”  
“No,” Lily said coldly. “I was looking for Frank. Alice’s cousins were killed in an attack near Spinner’s End. An attack on three Muggles ridiculously close to where I live, so close it could be my family, because even though Petunia’s moved out she could have come back to visit, and I don’t know if they’re okay or not, because I can’t call and ask, they could be dead for all I know, and I can’t be in class right now!” She ended out of breath, staring at James in terror. “I didn’t mean to tell you all that,” she said. “In fact, please forget I did. I just need to borrow the map, to find Frank and send him up to Alice.”  
James stared at her for a moment. “Alright,” he said finally. “I’ll go get it. Wait here.” He got to his feet and started for the stairs to the boy’s dormitories.  
“What’s the password?” Lily asked after him.  
“Gillywater,” James said. “I didn’t really mean to change it without you knowing, you know. I was just going to...you know. Hold off on telling you for a while.”  
Lily smiled wryly. “I know.”  
“And...Lily, about New Years—”  
“I really need the map,” she interrupted, her heart beating faster. “Sorry, it’s just...Alice is counting on me, and Transfiguration is almost over, and I really don’t want to have to miss Divination too...”  
“’Course,” he said, nodding and heading up the stairs, taking them two at a time.  
Lily leaned against the wall, pressing her hands to her face. She couldn’t run away from the topic of New Years forever, she knew that rationally.  
But she could damn well try.  
James returned with the map, which told her Frank was currently in none other than the Divination classroom.  
“Perfect,” Lily said. “I’ll head over early and catch him on his way out. Thanks, James.” She gave him a quick hug before heading back towards the portrait hole.  
“We’ll talk soon, though,” James said, and Lily turned back to meet his gaze. It was not a question. She nodded slowly, and he turned away from her. “Good.”  
Lily hurried out of the common room and back down the hall, her mind whirling. Was he going to tell her it was a mistake? He didn’t like her anymore, he was drunk, and she was seriously ruining his chances with some other girl...  
But that wasn’t like him. Or was it?  
Lily shook her head. She had to get to Divination.  
“The cookies,” she said, stopping abruptly. “Oh, Merlin...” she turned and ran back up the stairs, back down the hall and skidded to a halt outside the Fat Lady. “G-gillywater,” she panted.  
“Learned the password, did you?” The portrait laughed. “Go on in, then.”  
As soon as Lily stumbled into the common room James looked up. He was still standing where she’d left him. “Forget something?” he asked.  
“Er—yeah.” Lily dug in her bag before producing the plate of cookies meant for him. “I made these,” she said stupidly. “To apologize. I’m sorry for being an arse yesterday.”  
James laughed, accepting the cookies. “It’s fine,” he said. “I’m sure I deserved it.”  
“You really didn’t,” she said. “I took out my anger on the wrong person, just because you were there. I wasn’t angry at you, James, really. I’m sorry.”  
He stared at her, hard. “Apology accepted, then,” he said finally. “Shouldn’t you get going, though?”  
“Oh—er—yes! Yes. I’ll just go, then. Sorry. Thanks.” Lily fumbled for her words before backing out of the portrait hole, stumbling over her own shoe laces on her way out.  
All her way down the corridor she cursed herself for being so clumsy. It was most definitely unlike her. She allowed thoughts and worries about what James was going to talk to her about to fill her mind as she navigated her way through the castle and towards Divination.   
The castle was quiet when everyone else was in class. She saw the occasional sixth year who had a free period, or a fourth year giggling in the thrill of skiving off classes. Since she herself was technically skiving class (though later she would be sure to chalk it up to ‘very important Head Girl issues that were unavoidable’), she didn’t write them up, dock points, or send them to class.  
By the time she reached the Divination tower class had let up, and she caught Frank on his way down the stairs.  
“Lily,” he said, sounding surprised. “What are you doing here?”  
“I live here,” Lily said impatiently.   
“In the Divination wing?”  
“In the castle—listen to me, you prat! Alice is in the hospital wing!”  
At this Frank’s eyes widened. “What happened? What did you do?”  
“I didn’t do anything! Honestly, what is with some people...” she trailed off at the impatient look he was giving her. “She—well, I think it’s better if she tells you herself, really, but she went there for a calming draught. Best hurry, I think.”  
He thanked her and sped off, running for the hospital wing.  
Watching him go made Lily’s heart twinge, but she wasn’t sure why. With a swift shake of her head, she headed up into the classroom.

***

Divination proceeded much the same as usual. Ridiculously incorrect predictions and an inordinate amount of tea and hand touching.  
Lily found herself next to Aaron McKinnon, the only other Gryffindor seventh year still taking the stupid class. Lily didn’t even know why she still took it, except that she’d found the topic fascinating in third year and hadn’t had the heart to drop it since the professor loved her.  
The professor in question swept over to her and picked up her hand, colorful robes swirling around her.  
“Hmm,” she said, musing over Lily’s palm. Lily caught McKinnon’s eye and exchanged eye rolls. “Oh, dear,” she said, pulling a pair of small spectacles from a pocket in her robes and sliding them on the edge of her nose. “Palmistry is an exact art, my dear, and your life line...well, it’s very short.”  
Lily raised an eyebrow. “How long do you think I have left, then?”  
“Five or six years at most, my dear!” Her professor blinked at her several times, before releasing her hand and tucking her glasses back into her robes. “I would set my affairs in order, my dear.”  
“I think I’ll be fine,” Lily responded, as her professor swept away to another table.  
Aaron snorted. “Think you’re coming down with something?”  
“I sure hope not,” Lily said with mock seriousness. “It’d put a real damper on graduation.”  
Aaron shrugged. “I don’t think a short life line means anything, honestly. Mine’s pretty short too, see?” He held up his hand to show her. “Marlene and I were talking about it just the other day. Her’s is too.”  
“It’s nature,” Lily said. “The way your hand is made! Doesn’t mean you’ll die young...” she turned back to her textbook. “Anyways. I was almost done with tonight’s homework.”  
Aaron leaned over, copying her work. Lily let him, smiling to herself.   
The rest of the period passed quickly, with Lily and Aaron making fun of the dramatic tone of their textbook and their professor’s choice of accessories. By the time the bell rang Lily had effectively forgotten about James and cheered up considerably, descending from the tower cheerfully.  
That is, until James Potter appeared out of an alcove and dragged her into an empty classroom.  
“What?” Lily asked, her good mood vanishing. “Someone else telling me I’m going to die young?”  
James snorted. “Professor Amaryllis? She told me that all through fifth year.”  
Lily sighed. “Maybe it’s a scare tactic. Something like, ‘I may not live to see my grandchildren, but at least I’ll pass Divination!’”  
James laughed and let go of her arm. “Exactly. I wonder how many people that’s worked on.” He frowned. “You’re deterring me!”  
“I’m what?” Lily asked innocently, her eyes going wide.  
“You’re trying to make me forget why I got you in here,” he accused. “You Slytherin, you!”  
“Hey now,” Lily said mildly. “I’d do nothing of the sort.”  
James sighed through his nose. “Lily, we need to talk.”  
“About what?”  
“You kissed me New Year’s, and I kind of want to do it again.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.  
> I'm back.  
> My laptop broke and I had to take it to the Apple store and they wiped the whole thing. I managed to salvage just about everything, though! Hurray!   
> Also I go back to school tomorrow. Hello, junior year. So, get used to some pauses between updates. Not HUGEEEEE, just...not daily. I still know where I'm going and it will get done. I'm thinking a week between updates, tops. I might come up with some semblance of a schedule. I might not. The fun is in the mystery. <3
> 
> Lots of love (as usual),  
> Alys


	19. Alice's Travels

CHAPTER NINETEEN - Alice’s Travels

 

“ _I_ kissed _you?”_ Lily said in outrage, her eyebrows flying to her hairline. “I did nothing of the sort! _You_ kissed me!”

James waved a hand. “Semantics. Lily, I know it’s been a while, but...is there any chance you’ve reconsidered?”

“Ninety-six,” Lily said sharply, her anger flaring up. “Careful, Potter, or you’ll surpass your precious hundred.”

“I didn’t even ask—Lily, I’m sorry! Stop—” He caught her arm as she turned to leave. “I just—I thought something had changed. I’m sorry.”

“So did I,” she said. “I thought you’d changed, but you still think just saying, ‘Oi, Evans, fancy a shag’ will get me to go out with you?” Her voice rose hysterically, though she wasn’t entirely sure why.

James gritted his teeth. “I never said that. Please, Lily, I’m sorry, just forget I said anything. Let me start over. We should do something together—we’re friends, right?”

“Ninety-seven,” Lily said coldly. “I _thought_ we were friends. Clearly you were only biding your time. Making me think you valued my friendship, when _this_ is what you were after the whole time? I...I thought better of you, Potter.”

“What, you thought I was _using_ you?” James yelped. “I would never! You know I wouldn’t—come on, don’t be like that!”

“Like what, human? Expressing emotion? I’m sorry I can’t be pleasant and amiable all the time, Potter, but I do get angry sometimes!”

James scoffed. “Believe me, I’ve noticed. Why are you so _determined_ to hate me? You’re finding issues where there are none!”  
“If you can’t see them, you’re blind.”

“I think you’re just picking fights with me so you can say you have a reason for not liking me. I think you’re scared.”

He was closer than to the truth than he realized. While James was just trying to say something to get Lily to react, Lily felt his words hit deep and accurate like an arrow.

Lily held his gaze for a moment before tearing her arm away, running back down the hall and through a tapestry.

 

***

 

James leaned against the wall of the Gryffindor seventh-year boy’s dorm, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t get it,” he said aloud. “I _still don’t get it!”_ His frustration rising, he slammed a fist against the wall. “Why do I have to—augh, why do the words coming out of my mouth have to be such—so—”

“Shite?”

Sirius and Peter sat on Remus’ bed, staring at James. Peter looked on with concern, while Sirius looked distinctly aloof (though that was the usual expression on his face). Sirius handed James his glasses back (which he had tossed aside in a fit of rage earlier) and whistled, long and low. “Tough luck, mate, really.”

James shook his head. “What do I do wrong?”

Sirius snorted. “Besides everything?”

“Maybe she’d rather be friends first,” Peter said helpfully. “Maybe she wants things to go slowly.”

Sirius shrugged. “Do you want my advice?”

“Not really,” James said.

“Prank her,” Sirius continued. “Show her that she’s not special.”

“Padfoot, that’s terrible advice. This is why we don’t listen to you.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Just listen to me, mate. She doesn’t like the attention. She thinks you’re treating her like a prize.”

“I am _not—_ ” James began hotly, but Sirius cut him off.

“I know you’re not, Prongs, I’m telling you what she’s thinking. She clearly likes you, everyone knows that. But she doesn’t know if you like her.”

James pressed a hand to his face, sliding his glasses up onto his head. “Of course I like her,” he said hoarsely.

“When did you become the smart one,” Peter wanted to know.

“Since Remus decided to go to the library for hours at a time instead of being here for crucial Marauder’s bonding sessions,” Sirius retorted. “Just lay off for a bit, Prongs. You had it for a bit, you know. Prank her. Show her you’re serious about her. You don’t swoon after any of us, do you?”

“You don’t know what I do when you’re not in the room,” James retorted sarcastically. “But I don’t _want_ her to think I just like her platonically!”  
Sirius exhaled heavily. “Prongs, you’re getting ridiculous. Joke with her, get to be close friends. Eventually she’ll give you some indication. Wait for her.”

“That could take forever,” James whined.

“Fine,” Sirius said, sighing. “Apologize now, prank her later. Maybe on her birthday; that’s coming up soon, isn’t it?”

James shrugged. “Yeah, _after_ Hogsmeade this weekend, and _after_ the Quidditch match she promised me she’d go to...”

“There’s your opportunity,” Sirius said triumphantly.

James looked down gloomily. “She’s probably not even going to show up, is she?”

 

***

 

Lily did not show up to the Ravenclaw/Gryffindor match as she had promised. She went down to Hagrid’s hut as she always did, ate his rock cakes and worked on her Care of Magical Creatures essay. There was something comforting about the familiarity of it all.

She could hear the commentary from the pitch, her face flushing every time she heard James score a goal. She knew Hagrid noticed, as he’d taken to humming happily whenever she felt her face burn.

As cheers erupted from the stands signaling Gryffindor’s victory, Lily stood to go. “I’ll see you later, Hagrid,” she said. “I should go to the party.”

Hagrid bade her goodbye, insisting that she take extra rock cakes up to the tower to celebrate the win. She doubted anyone would want them, but promised she would take them nonetheless.

Marlene and Hestia were waiting for her at the edge of the pitch.

“I’m sorry,” Lily said. “Potter and I were in a fight...”

Marlene gave Lily’s shoulders a squeeze, something that was not very comforting since the blonde was sweaty and stank to high heaven. “I’m proud of you, Evans,” she said. “You didn’t change for a boy.”

“Of course not,” Lily bristled. “What kind of feminist do you take me for?”

Hestia laughed, taking the rock cakes from the Head Girl. “Courtesy of Hagrid?” When Lily nodded, Hestia drew one out of the bundle and tried to bite into one. “I don’t know how you stand these,” she confessed. “I swear, one of these days you’ll break a tooth.”

Lily just smiled, her mood significantly improved.

In the Entrance Hall they were met by a sight that surprised them all: Alice, staring absently at the giant hourglasses on the wall.

“Alice!” Lily ran towards the other girl, embracing her. Alice seemed startled, but her face spread in a grin.

“Hi,” she said, greeting Marlene and Hestia with a peck on the cheek and a hug as well. “What have I missed?”

Lily shrugged. “Potter was an idiot, Divination was boring. Did Frank go with you? I didn’t see him in class.”

Alice nodded. “He wanted to be m-moral support. But—um—” she blushed. “He asked me to marry him.”

“Oh _Merlin!”_ Hestia squealed, as Marlene looked stunned and Lily’s hands flew to her mouth in shock.

“Congratulations!” Lily said breathlessly, finally taking in Alice’s bright eyes and—most importantly—glittering new ring. Upon noticing that Marlene was still frozen, Lily nudged her, hard.

Marlene shuddered back into animation. “Y-yeah,” she said. “Congratulations. Aren’t you a bit young though?” She asked brusquely.

Alice didn’t seem offended. “Yes, but, you know. This is war. If not now, when, am I right? Wouldn’t you want to make it official, if you found the One?”

Marlene made a face. “I dunno. I’m really happy for you, Alice, but I promised Aaron I’d help set up for the party and it’s probably already started, knowing Gryffindor. See you up there?” She waved, hurrying up the stairs, her broom clutched in her hand.

Lily hugged Alice again. “When will the wedding be?”

“Oh, not until the summer. We won’t get married until we graduate, of course. Can you imagine being married at Hogwarts? I don’t even think it’s _allowed!”_ She laughed, linking her arms through Lily’s and Hestia’s. The three began their way up the stairs.

Alice’s excitement was infectious, and Lily found herself happier just being within her presence. Alice regaled them with the story of Frank’s proposal all the way up to the seventh floor, careful to avoid even mentioning the reason she was at home in the first place.

The party was in full swing by the time the girls had arrived and given the password. Lily grimaced at the sight of several Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws dancing in the common room. “I really don’t want to kick them out...”

“So don’t,” Alice said cheerfully. “Oh, there’s Frank. Try to have fun, dear, won’t you?” She gave Lily’s arm one last squeeze before darting off through the churning crowd.

Hestia had broken away to join Mary by the fireplace, and with no friends around to distract her Lily found herself spiraling back down into her dark mood. She had Charms and Potions due tomorrow, she thought dully, and she’d better get a head start on it, no matter how much she loathed to.

 

***

The party went on far too long, with firewhiskey provided by Sirius.

Lily found herself in the corner with her Charms textbook, trying fruitlessly to study. “I hate this,” she muttered. “I hate being this busy. I hate working.”

“Then don’t.” Lily looked up to see James hovering before her, awkwardly holding two butterbeers. “I got you a drink,” he said, offering the bottle. Lily accepted wordlessly, still watching him. “Look, Lily—” James sat down next to her, staring determinedly at his hands. “I’m sorry. I really am. I said some...weird things I didn’t mean, I think it was out of habit, anyways...I really, really liked being friends with you, Lily. I really value your friendship, I do. Please, please forgive me.”

Lily sighed, then shut her Charms book. She ran her free hand over the cover, then said with a small laugh, “Oh, you asshole.”

“Er...what?”

“I was completely unfair to you, and you come apologizing to _me!_ ” She laughed. “I was going to bring you more cookies.”

“Oh, well, I wouldn’t say no to that.” He was looking at her now, grinning. Lily took a swig of the butterbeer as he continued: “Look, we could play the ‘you have nothing to apologize for’ game, but I’d rather skip that and just get to the part where you agree to go to Hogsmeade with me tomorrow?”

Lily’s jaw dropped, but the corners of James’ mouth were quirking up.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding,” he said, holding his hands up defensively. “Too soon?”

“Ninety-eight!” Lily announced, standing up. “That’s ninety-eight, everyone!”

James rolled his eyes. “I was _joking,_ it doesn’t _count!”_

“Why? Is there a rulebook? I’d like to see it.”

“It’s a mental rulebook.”

“Good! Now I have someone to practice Legilimency on.”

And so Lily found her Charms book abandoned, instead chasing James Potter around the common room, pretending to try and read his mind for the next hour until McGonagall came and yelled at them all to go to bed.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Hello everyone! So my sister is reading this now, and keeps DEMANDING I update. She's reading it on ff.net, though, not here. I told her I wasn't finished with this chapter so add a review to every single chapter and then I'd update. Hahahahaha I was already finished THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR STEALING MY BOOKS, LITTLE SISTER!!! She can't even see this, I'm just embarrassing myself.
> 
> Anyways, thank you for the LOVELY and sweet reviews! You're too kind, really.  
> Love as always,  
> Alys
> 
> PS sorry bout that cliffhanger last chapter! :P


	20. Peter-in-a-Box

CHAPTER TWENTY – Peter-in-a-Box

 

James was ecstatic that he and Lily were now on speaking terms, even over a week later. “Lily lent me her Transfiguration notes today,” he said happily as he and Sirius and Peter made their way down to the grounds the night of the full moon. “I didn’t need them, of course, but still! The gesture counts! She also passed me _three_ notes in History of Magic today—Sirius, you were right, I think I’m growing on her!”

“Are you ready to prank her?” Sirius asked, not really paying attention.

James looked shocked. “I still have to do that? No! She _likes_ me now!”  
“James, you’ve pranked _everyone._ You used to prank Evans all the time, until about fifth year. For old times sake.”

“What if she starts hating me again?”

“She won’t,” Peter promised.

“But what if she _does?”_

“Then you’ll just have to make her like you again,” Sirius said, growing more and more irritated. “You did it before, you’ll do it again. Moony’s sitting alone in the shack without us, might I remind you, and we’re stopped in the middle of a hall!”

“Making her like me again could take _forever_ though,” James mused, clearly not paying attention either. “Do I dare risk it? Risk all my progress?”

Peter checked his watch. “You know what won’t take forever? The full moon. We need to get going!”

Sirius snapped his fingers. “Right! Let’s go—cloak on, Prongs, we want to be human while Moony is, after all!”

“I know, I know,” the Head Boy grumbled. “I hope Lily is okay—”

“No more talk about Evans tonight,” Sirius said. “Come midnight, talk about her all you want. Until then, say no more about her.”

James nodded. “I solemnly swear.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Sirius shoved him lightly, grinning. “Let’s get going. The wolf waits for no man. Or stag.”

Smiling, James followed his two best friends down the stairs to the Entrance Hall.

 

***

 

Due to its proximity to Christmas, Lily didn’t expect any presents for her birthday. When she awoke six days after her last run-in with James, she kept her eyes firmly shut and tried to count the presents undoubtedly at the foot of her bed.

Probably one each from Alice, Marlene, Mary, and Hestia, unless they’d gone in on one together...one from her parents, if she was lucky one from Petunia (though she probably wasn’t), one from Remus and Peter and maybe a few from her friends in other houses.

Lily opened her eyes and sat up and eyed the pile, which was larger than expected.

She half-expected to hear the other girls chorus a ‘happy birthday’, but remembered that she slept alone now. Lily swung her legs on top of the duvet, scooting closer to her presents. As she unraveled the ribbon off her parent’s present and tossed it to Herbert Humphrey Wilfordshire III to play with, she counted the ten presents in front of her and recounted them. Ten more than expected.

She lifted Herbie onto her lap and scratched him absently behind the ears as she tore off the wrappings.

A polaroid camera from her parents (with which she immediately photographed Herbie yawning), a record of the one Celestina Warbeck album she didn’t already own from Alice, an emerald green quill with a gold tip from Frank, asphodel perfume from Mary and Hestia, a Holyhead Harpies jersey from Marlene, and a huge bar of Honeyduke’s chocolate from Aaron.

She set those five aside and quickly ran down to the girls’ dorms, thanking her friends and hugging them.

“What else did you get?” Mary asked eagerly. “We’ll be late to Herbology, but _who_ cares about plants at a time like this? You’re of _age,_ Lily!”  
“I still have five unopened ones,” Lily said, a smile growing on her face. “Want to help me?”

The girls nodded eagerly, following Lily’s bare feet back up to her room.

“Lily Evans is a twat,” Lily announced proudly.

Marlene snorted. “ _That’s_ your password? I know why you guarded it with your life.”

Lily laughed. “Come in, you tarts.”

Hestia immediately scooped up the kitten, cuddling him close. “Go on, then,” she said, as the others crowded closer. The only one missing was Alice, who had gone down to breakfast with Frank earlier.

“From...my sister,” she said, her throat tight. She unwrapped it with shaking fingers. The only indication it had been from Petunia in the first place had been the fancy P she had scrawled on the wrapping paper. Inside the small box was a pair of white socks with white lace, and a crisply folded card that read ‘for Lily’ in Petunia’s neat handwriting.

Lily bit her lip.

“Er...they’re nice,” Mary said, as the other girls waited with bated breath.

Lily burst out laughing. “She got me _socks,”_ she gasped out, her shoulders shaking with laughter. “Socks! I can’t believe her—she goes to the trouble of attaching a package to an owl, just for some _socks?_ My sister is insane! Certifiably insane!”  
Hestia chuckled. “Open the others, then, Lily, we won’t be late to Herbology for _socks.”_

Lily tugged another towards her. “Oh, from Remus and Peter,” she said. “A collar for Herbie with a built-in tracking spell!”

“And it’s _green,”_ Hestia said gleefully. “It matches his perfect little eyes—” she took the collar from Lily’s outstretched hand and slipped it on over Herbert’s head.

“Now he can traverse the castle as he pleases,” Marlene said, smiling.

Lily was doubtful. “He could get hurt—”

Marlene snorted. “Nonsense, Lily. He’s a cat.”

“A kitten.”

“You have a tracking spell on him! Let Herbie live.”

Hestia held up the kitten, who looked confused. “The Honorable Sir Herbert Humphrey Wilfordshire III demands to be free of this room, madam.”

The Honorable Sir Herbert Humphrey Wilfordshire III squirmed out of her grasp and ran over to the litter box in the corner.

Lily dissolved into giggles. “Alright, two more,” she said. “Next is from Sirius. We may want to back away; I don’t trust it.” She ended up braving it, opening the box and wincing, but whatever was in it did not immediately explode. “Aw,” she said. “It’s a lovely blue sweater.” She pulled it out, holding the soft material to her cheek. “I love it.”

“I always suspected Sirius was something of a fashion expert,” Mary nodded wisely.

Lily pulled the jumper over her head, over her pajamas. She lifted the next box, about the size of a shoebox, with a few small holes poked in one side. A card was attached:

_Lily,_

_Open on your own. I cannot stress this enough. You MUST be alone when you open this present._

_James_

She stared at the shoebox for a moment, then said, “Head on down to class. Tell Professor Sprout I’ll be down shortly.”

The other girls eyed the box.

“Okay,” Hestia said. “We’ll see you there.” She took Marlene and Mary by the elbows and dragged them out.

Once she was alone she opened the box.

Inside was a small brown rat.

“What,” she said aloud, “food for Herbert?”

Before she could blink the rat transformed, growing larger until a fully formed Peter Pettigrew sat on her bed.

Lily shrieked, falling sideways off her bed with a thump. Peter laughed at her, then offered her a hand up.

“I could have been _undressed!”_

“But you weren’t,” Peter said wisely, helping her to her feet. “James says happy birthday, by the way. I should get going, I’m late to Transfiguration.”

“Seems like you’ve got the subject down,” Lily grumbled. “Thanks for the collar.”

“No problem,” he said cheerfully, clambering off of her bed and whistling as opened the door and descended the stairs.

She pressed a hand to her hammering heart. What on earth was Potter trying to do, kill her?

After a few moments Lily shook her head, then moved to the wardrobe to get dressed for class.

 

***

 

On her way to Herbology at least ten people wished Lily happy birthday, at least nine of whom she didn’t know.

“Get to class,” she reprimanded them, and two second-years scurried along. She slid into Herbology while Sprout was demonstrating the proper care of a Sopophorous plant.

Marlene quickly whispered to her what she’d missed, and Lily found herself longing for the Hogsmeade weekend in four days. Outside the greenhouses the sun was shining on the snow, a rarity in itself. The snow had been coming down thickly for the past week or so, but the clouds seemed to have parted for Lily’s birthday.

“I wish something would happen,” Lily said to Marlene as the class began to work independently. “Things are getting boring.”

“Didn’t Potter ask you out twice a week or so ago?” Marlene frowned at her plant, prodding its stem with her wand. Several purple leaves sprouted, and Marlene quickly Vanished them before Professor Sprout could notice.

Lily blushed. “That doesn’t count.”

Marlene sighed. “There’s a Quidditch match this weekend. You could go to that.”

Lily clipped a few leaves, considering it. “Who’s playing?”

“Gryffindor and Slytherin,” Marlene said.

Lily blinked. “I never go to Gryffindor/Slytherin games,” she said. “Not even to Hagrid’s.”

Marlene set down her wand and turned to Lily fully. “Look,” she said. “You cannot let Snape dictate your life. I said you went out of your way for Potter, but you do so even more for Snape.”

“You’re right,” Lily said suddenly, cutting Marlene off sharply. “I can’t give him that much power over me. I’m going. I’m going to pay attention, too.”

“Wonderful.” Marlene smiled, picking up her trimming shears. “I’ll tell Potter.”

“Perf—wait, what? You can’t! He can’t know!”

“Oh, is it a surprise?” Marlene smirked. “Alright, then.”

“No!” Lily protested. “It’s not—fine, then, tell him! See how much I care!”

Marlene stifled her giggles as she buried her head in her poisonous agapanthus. Lily quickly grabbed her hair and tied it back before the acid burned it off.

“Be careful,” she chastised.

“Where would I be without you?” Marlene sighed, sagging against the table in an exaggerated fashion. “Oh, Lily, you’ve saved me once again!”

The two girls giggled until they were hushed by Professor Sprout, and returned to their own work, avoiding eye contact with eat other or else they would dissolve into laughter again.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Yeah, yeah, it's a filler. But there's a Quidditch game next chapter. And maybe even a kiss, if you're good readers and you brush your teeth and go to bed at a reasonable hour.  
> AHAHAHAH I'm just kidding who goes to bed at a reasonable hour?  
> (...she says while glancing at the clock and seeing it's past midnight)
> 
> All my love, as always,  
> Alys


	21. The Game

CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE - The Game

 

Lily sat in the common room the morning of the Gryffindor/Slytherin Quidditch match, finishing up her Defense essay. She had just decided to go down to breakfast and write the conclusion at the match (as if it would hold her interest for more than a minute) when something was wrapped around her neck.

“Ah!” She immediately reached behind her and grabbed onto something—a fistful of hair—and yanked.

“Ow! Merlin, Evans, that was unnecessary.” A scowling James Potter dropped onto the couch beside her. Lily looked down and saw that it was a scarf, wrapped loosely around her neck.

“I thought someone was strangling me,” she confessed. “And I have my own scarf—James Potter, do _not_ tell me you have a lucky scarf.”

James smirked. “Funny you should mention it, Evans.”

“I cannot believe you are _cliché_ enough to have a lucky scarf.”

“Promise me you’ll wear it.”

Lily sighed. “I promise.”

“Promise me you’ll pay attention.”

Lily shook her head. “My mother instilled some strict morals in me, Potter. One of those morals was ‘do not make promises you can’t keep’.” She broke into a grin, shoving down the butterflies that had burst in her stomach. “I will, however, promise to be the first one of your fans out on the field, should you win.”

James nodded. “I wouldn’t expect any different, of course.”

“You should get going, shouldn’t you? Marlene went down to the pitch fifteen minutes.”

“Trying to get rid of me?”

“Trying to make sure the Gryffindor Captain isn’t late.”

James picked himself off the couch. “Don’t suppose I could have a good luck kiss...”

“You’re pushing your luck, Potter,” Lily said warningly, but there was laughter in her words. “Win the game. Then we’ll see.”

He looked surprised, but no more surprised than Lily felt. Had she really just said that? To maintain some image of detachment, she went back to revising her essay as he picked up his broom and left for the pitch.

The moment he’d disappeared she set her quill back down. Somewhere in the back of her mind she was actually hoping he’d win.

“Mental,” she muttered, stuffing her essay into her book bag.

Behind her, someone tugged on her hair. “Coming, Lils?”

Mary and Aaron stood behind her, decked out in Gryffindor red and gold. “Sadly, yes,” Lily said, getting to her feet. “Where are the others?”

“Already at the pitch. Sirius and Hestia are saving us seats.”

Lily pointed over to where Remus sat, his head bent over a book. “Remus doesn’t have to go! Why do I?”

Remus looked up. “You have James’ scarf,” he said simply. “If you don’t go, Gryffindor will lose, Lily. Do you really want that on your head?”

Mary and Aaron each seized one of Lily’s arms, dragging her towards the portrait hole.

“Okay, okay, get off! I can walk!” She brushed them off, scowling. “I’m going, I’m going. This match is probably going to go on for two months, like the Wasps match of 1876...” At the other’s bemused stares, she responded defensively: “What? I’ve read Quidditch Through the Ages...”

“Oh, really?” Aaron exchanged a glance with Mary. “When was the match in which all 700 fouls were committed?”

“1473,” Lily replied promptly, taking a secret passageway down to the second floor, Mary and Aaron trailing behind her. “That includes the lesser-known fouls, like turning a Chaser into a polecat and attacking on another with an axe. Also the decapitation of the Keeper. Now _that_ is a match I would not object to watching.”

“You just want to see Potter Transfigured into a pole cat,” Mary accused.

Lily shrugged. “I admit, he would look more attractive as one.”

The three descended the steps to the ground floor and out into the crisp January air. The sky was a clear blue but the wind nipped at Lily’s skin, causing her to pull the scarf tighter around her throat. Her feet crunched in the snow, freezing her toes through her boots.

“I can’t wait for spring,” she moaned.

“Neither can they.” Mary pointed up to the Quidditch players warming up. A few were noticeably shivering. “There’s Sirius,” she said, nudging Lily into the stands. She and Aaron stood on either side of Lily, keeping her from running.

“Bloody ridiculous,” Lily muttered. “I’m not _that_ averse to Quidditch, you know. I actually like the game.”

Aaron gasped. “Coming from you, that’s practically blasphemous!”  
“I never said I hated Quidditch!” Lily protested, being propelled through the stands. “I just never wanted to boost Potter’s ego enough to go to a game!”

Lily wedged herself in between Sirius, who seemed to have smuggled half the kitchen down to the pitch, and Mary, who maintained a vice-like grip on her arm.

Sirius offered her a plate of toast and bacon, which she gratefully accepted. “This lot seemed to think if they removed their eyes from me for a split second I’d make a dash for it,” Lily joked, rolling her eyes and digging in.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if you did,” Sirius said calmly, “Seeing as you promised James you’d snog him senseless if he won.”

Lily choked on her toast while Mary squealed next to her. Hestia leaned across Sirius and thumped Lily hard on the back.

“I never said that,” Lily said hoarsely. “He asked for a kiss and I told him we’d see. If he won.”

“Well, I think it’s safe to say Gryffindor will be winning,” Sirius said solemnly as the pitch cleared in preparation for the game to begin. “When James is determined, things happen.”

Lily gulped.

Mary released Lily long enough to clap her gloved hands together. “Ooh, this will be so exciting!” She gushed. “First New Years, now this.”

Peter, Frank, and Alice, squeezing in next to Aaron at the end of the bench, joined them just as the Slytherin players were being named.

“Looks like we’re all here,” Sirius said cheerfully, pulling out a box of Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans. “Except Moony. Where’s he off to?”

“Studying,” Lily said, taking another bite of toast. “As I should be.”

“Shut up, shut up,” Sirius said eagerly. “Here they come.”

The commentator, a Hufflepuff in her year Lily vaguely recognized, was rattling off the names of the Gryffindor players. There was a good deal of cheers when Potter’s name was called, though Lily whistled loudly when Marlene’s name was shouted through the megaphone.

James and the Slytherin captain, Avery, shook hands. It looked more to Lily like they were trying to pop a blood vessel in the other’s hand.

Finally they released each other, mounted their respective brooms, and kicked off as the referee blew the whistle.

_“Aaand they’re off! It’s Abbott with the Quaffle, passed nicely to Potter_ _—_ _ooh, that was a fumble! Now it’s Avery with the Quaffle, he’s heading towards the goal_ _—_ _oh, what a nice save from Gryffindor Keeper Cresswell!”_

The game dragged on, but Lily never felt compelled to pull out her essay and finish her conclusion. She was absolutely spellbound, gasping as a Slytherin fumbled with the ball and Marlene swept past, grabbing it from her outstretched arms and soaring towards the goalposts.

Lily’s nose burned with the cold and she dragged the scarf up to cover the lower half of her face, thinking absently of how much it smelled like him.

“Oh, bloody hell,” Mary swore next to her. Lily looked up sharply. Avery had elbowed James sharply in the face, causing the Head Boy to careen out of the way.

“Blatant cobbing, right there,” Peter said dismissively.

Sirius shook his head, stuffing some popcorn into his mouth. “James once got a bludger to the head and kept playing. Won the game, too.”

Mary snorted. “I was _there,_ Black. He did not. He says he did, but he didn’t.”

“Where are you getting this food?” Lily demanded.

Sirius shrugged. “Magic.” He offered her the bag. “Want some?”

She accepted begrudgingly. “Can I borrow those binoculars?” She tugged them out of Aaron’s hands, not waiting for an answer and ignoring his protests. Lily found James on her first attempt, adjusting his goggles with on hand, the other ruffling his hair. Her heart leapt a bit. When had that stopped being annoying and begun to be slightly endearing?

_“Yep, that was a foul, folks! Gryffindor gets a penalty.”_

The penalty shot had been taken by Marlene, and she scored perfectly. Lily followed James with the binoculars as he caught the Quaffle the third Gryffindor chaser, some bloke named Davies, had thrown to him.

Something in the Slytherin stands caught her eye. Severus was staring right at her, his eyes wide. He looked betrayed by her presence. Seeing him there, so clearly looking at her, made her uncomfortable. She quickly moved the binoculars to follow Marlene, where she was avoiding a bludger.

The other one seemed to be targeting James and James only. Every time he swerved around it to grab for the Quaffle it would follow him.

Lily lowered the binoculars and handed them to Sirius. “Are you seeing what I am?”

Sirius set down his pizza and reached for the binoculars. Aaron made a sound of outrage.

“Prongs can’t seem to shake that one,” Sirius said in amazement. “You don’t think...”

“Snape is looking at me,” Lily said nervously. “He seemed scared. You don’t think it’s him?”

Sirius lowered the binoculars, handing them back to Aaron. “If not him, one of his friends. I’m going to find out.”

“No!” Lily put a hand on his arm. “I’ll go.” She lowered her voice. “Sirius, what if Regulus is over there? You know how you’ll react if you see him. Besides, I’m better at Charms than you.”

Sirius sighed. “Alright, go on. Mary, let her up.”

Mary looked shocked. “She’s going to run!”

“I am not,” Lily snapped. “I’m going to find whoever is throwing the game. No one else has seemed to have noticed.”

Frank grabbed the binoculars from Aaron, but when he pulled away his mouth was set in a grim line. “He’s getting panicked,” he said.

Lily nodded sharply, scooting past him and Alice to get out. She hurried down the steps until she was under the stands, and ran around the pitch until the gold and scarlet changed to green and silver, and the cheering for Davies’ latest goal turned to jeering.

Once she had situated herself directly under where Severus had been, Lily began to climb the wooden beams. She stuck her wand firmly in between her teeth, wrapping her arms around a support post and inching herself towards where she saw feet protruding from under the benches. Which were Severus’? And what if it wasn’t him?

She quickly ran through a list of the Death-Eater-Wannabes that weren’t on the Slytherin Quidditch team. Just Snape, Jugson, Dolohov, and Regulus. Regulus had actually been on the team last year, Lily recalled, but he hadn’t made it this year. She wondered if he was mad enough to try and jinx a bludger for it.

_“Potter just can’t seem to get rid of that bludger, now can he? Mulciber takes advantage of this, scoring a nice goal there. It’s now fifty-forty, Slytherin.”_

Her head was now level with a row of shoes and boots. She perched herself on a horizontal beam, removing her wand from her mouth.

“ _Petrificus Totalus,”_ she whispered to the shoes she recognized as Snape’s. Realizing she had no way of telling if that had solved the problem, she resolved to Petrify the entire row of Slytherins. She slid her way down to row, whispering the spell. She hear loud clamoring as the other Slytherins noticed and began accusing each other of being the caster. Having done all she could, Lily descended quickly, her feet hitting the ground harder than she’d have liked.

It wasn’t until she’d reached the Gryffindor side that she realized she was no longer wearing the scarf.

“Oh no,” she said aloud. “Oh, bullocks.” It must have snagged.

Could she dare go back now? If no one had thought to look under the stands by now, they would soon. Deciding to risk it, Lily ran back to the silver-and-green half, casting a quick silencing charm on her feet to muffle her footfalls.

“ _Accio James’ scarf,”_ she hissed. The article flew towards her, but not before she heard a great _rip._ “Wonderful,” she sighed, running her fingers over the huge rip in the scarf.

_“And Potter scores again! It’s seventy-fifty, Gryffindor!”_

Lily suddenly remembered her original goal, and realized that she must have been successful. Hurrying back to the steps, she retook her place by Sirius.

“What did you do?” he demanded. “They’re all freaking out—look at them!”

The Slytherin stands did indeed seem to be in a frenzy.

Lily shrugged. “I petrified a row of Slytherins. Couldn’t figure out which one it was.”

Sirius high fived her. “Nicely done, Evans. Prongs is back in top form. Think we have this match in the bag.”

Right on cue, the Hufflepuff commentator called gleefully, _“Is that the snitch? Witches and wizards and others, Slytherin Seeker Emma Vanity has spotted the snitch! She’s really going after it_ _—_ _oh, nice bludger from Gryffindor Beater, Gregory Bell!”_

Lily clutched the scarf in her hands tightly, leaning forward. “Come on, come on,” she muttered.

The Gryffindor seeker, fifth year Melissa Spinnet, was frowning in concentration, hurtling towards the ground.

“Look!” Lily shrieked. “Either that’s the Wronski Feint or she’s seen it!”

She was on her feet now; so were the other Gryffindors around her.

“Definitely real,” Peter said enthusiastically. “Spinnet can’t do the Wronski Feint.”

It was definitely real, as Spinnet pulled out of the dive with her fist raised triumphantly, small glittering wings protruding from his hand, fluttering tiredly.

Lily shrieked along with the rest of her house as the team descended upon Spinnet, hugging each other and yelling.

“Go on,” Sirius yelled over the din, shoving her towards the aisle. “Go run onto the field.”

For once Lily didn’t argue, jumping over the row in front of her and running down the stairs. A few others had had the same idea, but Lily was faster. She jumped the last few steps onto the field, leading the crowd of fans.

She reached the knot of Gryffindor players first, yanking James out by his collar. He turned around, yelping in protestation, but was quickly silenced as Lily pressed her lips to his, standing on her toes to be his height.

The screams around them turned to cheers and whistles, and several long blissful seconds passed before they broke apart, grinning stupidly.

“See?” he said. “Lucky scarf.”

She smiled appreciatively, tugging on it. “It certainly is.”

“Go out with me, Evans?” James asked.

“Ninety-nine,” Lily said cheekily. “I’m not saying yes _this_ close to one hundred, am I?” She kissed his forehead, then moved over to hug Marlene and let the rest of the crown press in on their captain.

“This means another party, doesn’t it?” Marlene asked weakly, holding her arm close to her chest.

“What happened?” Lily asked, not able to keep a smile off her face.

Marlene winced. “Oh, nothing much—just—ow—sprained my wrist. It’s nothing, I promise.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I’ll take you to Madam Pomfrey. James!” She called, trying to get his attention. “James! I’m going to be la—oh, he can’t hear me.” She wrapped an arm around Marlene and led her back up to the castle. “Did you see that crazy bludger that went after him?”

Marlene nodded. “What was up with that?”

Lily smiled wider, regaling her friend with how she single-handedly saved the Gryffindor Captain’s life by petrifying a row of Slytherins.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Your reviews are so sweet. Not much to say here, I guess. Until next time!
> 
> Au revoir,  
> Alys


	22. Passwords and Princes

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO - Passwords and Princes

 

Lily awoke the next morning with a feeling of dread in the pit of her stomach. What had she _done?_ She’d kissed James, and _liked_ it, and...kind of told him to ask her out again?

“What am I going to do, Sir Herbert?” she sighed, scooping up the kitten from where he lay beside her and sitting up. “Avoid him like an idiot or kiss him on the cheek and sit down next to him at breakfast?”

Herbie mewed softly, curling back up on Lily’s lap. She scratched him behind the ears absently, reaching for her wand and recasting her password spell. “Lily Potter,” she said aloud, testing it out. Then she realized what she’d done. “Oh, shit. Er...” she waved her wand again, muttering the incantation again. “Lily Evans is a BLOODY TWAT!”

Her door glowed red.

“Bullocks,” she mumbled, tossing aside the cat in her haste to get out of bed. Herbie hissed in indignation, streaking under the bed. “Sorry.” she fumbled for the Charms book on her desk, quickly flipping to the bookmarked page on password spells. “The password cannot be changed by the original caster until 24 hours after the initial incantation,” she read aloud. “Well, that’s bloody convenient, isn’t it?”

Still swearing, she crossed to her wardrobe, dressing quickly. In her rush to get out of her room she forgot her wand on her bed. She stood outside her door, arms crossed.

“I’m not saying it,” she challenged. The door, of course, did not budge. “I can make it through the day without a wand,” she said reasonably. “I’ll borrow someone’s, if need be.” She spun on her heel and marched down the stairs, still feeling as though she’d left her arm back in her room.

“Morning, lovebird,” Marlene greeted her with a grin.

“Not in the mood,” Lily grumbled, grabbing the other girl’s arm and dragging her towards the portrait hole. “Let’s go to breakfast.”

Mary and Marlene had been waiting for her in the common room together. “Where were you last night?” Mary asked, hurrying to catch up with the two girls. “You didn’t show up at the party.”

“I was a bit...er...tired,” Lily said, not entirely truthfully. In actuality, she’d been too mortified to show her face after her rather public display after the match, and instead slunk around the edge of the common room until she’d reached the girl’s staircase.

The Marauders were already at the breakfast table, looking rather forlorn.

“Nasty hangovers?” Lily asked.

Mary nodded, wide-eyed. “It was rather impressive, actually.”

Lily scanned the length of the Gryffindor table, before finally deciding. “Well, let’s not miss a chance to be extra loud around them. Marlene, if you wouldn’t mind accidentally casting an especially bright _Lumos_ , I would be gratefully.”

She led the other two over to the end of the table where the boys sat, dropping down next to James. “How are you?” She asked brightly, ignoring the groan that came from all four boys. “Why the long faces?” she continued, accidentally knocking over an empty glass while reaching for the jam. “Oh, silly me—I’m such a klutz. Sorry about that.”

James raised his face skyward, his eyes firmly shut. “Is this punishment for being so attractive?”

“You should really go to the hospital wing,” Lily said cheerfully, her nerves at being around him settled from her being a nuisance. “What would you be like in class, where there are so many notebooks for me to knock off the desk?”

Remus moaned. “Lily. Please. Shut up.”

Lily smiled sweetly. “No. How are you boys feeling?”

Sirius was the only one of the four who seemed perfectly fine, his head bent over a crossword. “What’s a nine letter word, looks like a green onion?”

“Gurdyroot?” Lily suggested.

Sirius snapped his fingers, making Peter and Remus and James wince. “Perfect.” he inked in the letters, finally setting his quill down and noticing Mary and Lily’s incredulous looks. “What? It takes more than that to get _me_ hungover. You should have seen how much I used to drink at my family’s parties, just to dull the mind numbing effects of dull and racist conversation.” He picked up his quill and went back to his puzzle.

Marlene rolled her eyes. “What a match yesterday, though, right? Lily, did you see that save I made? Davies nearly fell off his broom passing to me, I swear...”

“No,” Lily said. “I was under the stands at that point.”

James cracked open an eye, squinting at her. “What were you doing there?”

“No one told you?” Lily asked, her cheery disposition fading. “I was saving your life, idiot. That bludger tailing you was bewitched.”

“I would thank you,” he said, his voice cracking, “but I think your hair is too bright. It’s hurting my eyes.”

“That’s enough,” Mary snapped. “I’m getting a cure for hangovers. You four are ridiculous.”

“Actually, Remus and Peter are asleep,” Sirius said matter-of-factly, not looking up from the paper. “You can wake Pete if you want, but let Moony sleep. He’s cute when he’s sleeping.”

James rolled his eyes. “Please hurry,” he said sluggishly. “I think my brain is forcing itself out through my ears.”

“We can’t have that,” Lily said seriously.

Mary hurried out of the hall. Marlene yawned, glancing around the nearly empty hall. “Mondays suck,” she said morosely. “Half the school isn’t awake yet.”

James pressed his head against the polished wood of the table. “Kill me.”

Lily nodded sagely. “I agree.”

She continued eating, letting her mind wander. Would it be so bad to say yes to him, just once? He was actually rather fun to be around, and she _did_ like him...a lot.

When Mary returned with the potion and woke the other two boys, they all downed their gobletful quickly. Sirius took the goblet from James when he’d finished with it, taking a small sip to test it. “Could use a bit of lemon,” he said, his head tilted. “Probably best accompanying some salmon. D’you think the House Elves have any salmon?”

“Padfoot, that was the nastiest thing I’ve ever tasted, and I’ve had Polyjuice before,” James grumbled, shoving the goblet away. “Thanks, MacDonald.”

Lily smiled. “Well, now you’re feeling more like yourself, I have a favor to ask, actually, James.”

He raised an eyebrow, responding rather hesitantly. “...yes?”

“We have first class together, right?”

“...right.”

“Could I...maybe...borrow your wand? I’ve lost mine.” It was easier than the truth to admit, though still embarrassing.

Marlene snorted ungracefully. “How do you misplace your _wand?”_

“It’s easier than you’d think,” Lily snapped. “And I’ll be asking for yours in Herbology, just you wait.”

“Sure,” James said once she’d finished with Marlene. “Do you need help looking for it? I have a free period after Transfiguration, just tell me the password to your roo—”

“Oh no,” Lily said quickly with a short laugh. “I’ll be fine. Please don’t try and guess my password. It’s nothing embarrassing or potentially damaging. I’m sure it’s in my room somewhere. Thank you.” She quickly grabbed her water goblet and took a long drink to stop herself from babbling.

“Lily.”

She nearly choked on water but set the goblet down, wiping her mouth on the back of her hand. She turned to face the voice behind her, revealing Severus Snape. “S-Severus,” she said. “What do you want?”  
“I need to talk to you,” he said, scowling at James next to her. “In private.”

James glanced between them. “Lil—”

“Okay,” Lily said. “Okay. I’m coming.” She leaned over and kissed James on the cheek quickly. “I’ll be right back.”

Severus led her out of the Great Hall and out of the way of any potentially eavesdropping students. “I saw you yesterday,” he said, scowling.

Of course, she though. He must have recognized her _Petrificus Totalus,_ or heard her, or seen the scarf...Lily’s heart leapt to her throat. “Severus, it’s not what you think—”

“What, what could I possibly misunderstand about you shoving your tongue down Potter’s throat?”

Lily relaxed visibly. “Oh. That.”

“What did you _think_ I was talking about?”

“Nothing,” she said quickly. “Look, Severus, who I date is absolutely none of your business. You made that quite clear two years ago.”

“So you’re dating him,” Snape said simply.

“Not as such,” Lily said, frustrated. “Sev, just let it alone, please.”

Severus’ eyes flashed. “You could do so much _better_ than that bastard, Lily!”

“Better like who,” Lily said coldly. “Like you? I don’t think so, Sev. Goodbye.” She turned back to the Great Hall, but froze when she heard the unmistakable sound of a wand being drawn. “What are you going to do?” she said quietly, not turning around. “Hex me? Curse me? I know you’ve used Unforgiveables, Sev.”

She felt him, rather than heard or saw him, lower his wand, and she quickly reentered the hall, scooping up her bag and trying to hide the tears that were squeezing their way out of her eyes.

“What did he want?” James asked, his eyes fixed on her face. “Lily?”

“Nothing,” Lily said tightly, afraid her red face had already given everything away. “I’m going back up. See you later. I’m not feeling well.”

She had gotten to the second floor before she realized he was following her.

“What?” she demanded, turning to face him, the tears flowing more freely now.

James blinked up at her. “Did he threaten you?”

“Not—not as such,” Lily said, echoing her earlier defense to Severus. “James, you’re not my boyfriend. You don’t have to defend me.”

“Then what _am_ I?” James asked, clearly frustrated. “I’m trying to just go with it, Lily, but I’m confused.”

“I don’t know!” Lily cried, feeling a tear splash onto her shoe. “I’m sorry, James, but I don’t know.”

James shook his head. “I’m sorry,” he said quickly. “Don’t worry about it. I shouldn’t have pressed it.”

Lily stepped down a few stairs until she was level with his eyes. “Thank you,” she whispered. “Tell McGonagall I’m sick, won’t you?”

“Anything for you,” he said solemnly, smiling slightly.

 

***

 

_Dear mum,_

 

_How’s it going, with all the family still around? At least I’ll be home in a few months. I’m worried about you, in that house all alone now Petunia’s gone. Promise me you’ll get out, visit her, go to the library. And please write me more, mum, it’s been about two weeks. I know you’re busy with the preparations but you need to take a break!_

_Well. I actually have a bit of a reason for writing._

_I think I may have kind-of sort-of acquired myself a boyfriend? Nothing official, yet, of course, but...I’m confused. I’m not sure what to do, and I could use some girl advice. We don’t usually have these kinds of chats, but I need help._

 

_Lots of love,_

_Lily_

 

_***_

 

_Dear Lily,_

 

_You don’t need to worry about me, darling. Petunia’s been coming round all the time, and the house is still bustling with relatives when they’re not over at her new flat._

_In terms of your predicament, dear, I think you should do what makes you happy. I know it’s cliche, Lily, but if he makes you happy you need to go for it! Life is too short to waste precious moments debating with yourself._

 

_Love,_

_Mum_

 

_***_

 

Lily set down the letter from her mother with a new sort of resolve. Number one hundred would have to be on her own terms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Thanks for being so patient! ff.net is back up, so updates should be regular again. I don't have much else to add, but I hope you liked it!
> 
> Lots of love,  
> Alys


	23. Of McKinnon

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE - Of McKinnon

 

For Marlene, Aaron McKinnon represented everything she could have lost but didn’t. She still lived with her parents; his were dead. She had an older brother who had graduated several years back; his younger sister might never get to go to Hogwart. Marlene was well-off, Aaron was deep into debt, his robes second-hand, his Gringotts account empty. They both loved Quidditch, though hecouldn’t afford a broomstick and didn’t make the team on the school ones. The one thing they did together, fully and completely, was die together, but neither of them knew that yet.

The two had met on the train, even before Marlene met Lily. Aaron had snagged an empty compartment for himself, and Marlene insisted on joining him.

 

_First Year_

“No one should be alone in their first train ride,” Marlene said, ignoring his protests. “My brother Marcus graduated two years again, and he said I should meet someone on the train and become their best friend.” She glanced him up and down. “Guess you’ll have to do.”

Aaron ignored her for most of the train ride while she chattered on aimlessly. When the candy lady came by she bought him a box of Bertie Bott’s and several licorice wands. He eyed the candy suspiciously while she dug into her own, stopping with a mouthful to question his skepticism.

“What?” she asked, a half-chewed cauldron cake rolling over her tongue. “Never had candy before?”

He blinked. “I have,” he said. “No one’s bought me things before.”

“That’s stupid,” Marlene declared, and that was that. Aaron and Marlene talked for the next few hours, Aaron about the Wizarding Orphanage he and his little sister lived in since their parents were killed five years ago and Marlene about the rumours her brother had told her about Hogwarts.

They were laughing over something Marlene had said, she never remembered quite what it was, when the door to the compartment opened and two people entered: a redhead with an equally red face and a small, quiet black-haired boy.

“ _You_ won’t insult us, will you?” The redheaded girl asked crossly, folding her arms across her chest.

“Er...no?” Aaron glanced at Marlene. “Do you know them?”

Marlene shook her head, delighted. “Sit down!” she said eagerly, moving her piles of candy off the empty seats. “Want some sugar quills? I bought too many.”

The girl threw herself down dramatically and eyed them suspiciously, much like Aaron had, and the boy ignored them, sitting down at the very edge of the seat as if ready to jump up and run.

“I’m Marlene,” Marlene said brightly. “I’m here to make new friends and learn as much about magic as possible. Marcus wouldn’t tell me _anything,_ the prat.”

“Lily,” the redhead said. “This is Severus.”

“Are you Muggleborn?” Marlene asked interestedly, noting the girl’s skirt and jumper.

Lily scowled. “What of it?”  
“Nothing,” Marlene said quickly. “I’m pureblood, but Muggle stuff is _so_ cool! Do you have one of those telly-vision things? I want to take Muggle studies.”

The boy Lily had called Severus narrowed his eyes. “What house do you want to be in?”

“Hufflepuff,” Marlene said immediately. “My mum was one. My dad was a Ravenclaw. I think Hufflepuff would be my best bet to make more frie—why are you making that face?”

Severus’ face was twisted into a sort of amused smirk that Marlene thought looked like he was smugly smelling shit. “Hufflepuffs aren’t very bright, you know that, right?”

Marlene bristled. “My mum is plenty bright! You take that back!”

Lily put a hand on Severus’ shoulder. “How about you?” she asked Aaron, who was leaning back against the seat, having retreated back into the quiet self Marlene had spent so long coaxing him out of. She noted with slight disappointment that he seemed to have been zoning out for the past few minutes, lost in thought.

“Gryffindor,” Aaron said decisively. “Someone told me my dad was in it.”

Severus rolled his eyes. Lily looked uncomfortable.

“You should change into your robes,” Marlene said in an attempt to relieve the tension. “My brother says that if you’re not in your uniform by the time we get to school they throw you in the lake.”

“That’s rubbish,” Aaron objected as Lily paled.

“It is not!”

“I’m going to test it,” Aaron said hotly. “I’m going to change out of my school robes and see if I get chucked in the lake.”

“Don’t!” Marlene squealed. “You’re the first friend I’ve made, I don’t want you to get eaten by the Giant Squid!”  
Aaron was silent for a moment. Then: “Okay, _that’s_ rubbish.”

 

***

 

_Second Year_

Marlene and Aaron had their first joint detention because a fourth-year Ravenclaw boy had been making fun of Aaron’s hand-me-down wand and Marlene had punched him.

“We _never_ resort to Muggle violence!” McGonagall had scolded them, setting them to write lines and the moving into the next room where she had Potter and Pettigrew sorting her books.

“You didn’t have to do that,” Aaron told her quietly as his quill scratched across the parchment, his head bent. “I don’t mind what they say about me, really.”

“I mind,” Marlene said indignantly. “I told you on the first day, you’re my best friend. I won’t let someone insult my best friend, just ‘cause he uses some old wand.”

“It was my dad’s,” Aaron said softly, pulling it out of his bag and staring at it. “They gave it to me when I was eleven. They’re gonna give my mum’s to my sister.”

“Oh,” Marlene said. “I’m…I’m sorry.”

Aaron shrugged. “It’s fine. I want you to know…’cause you’re my best friend.” He smiled at her shyly.

Marlene beamed.

 

***

_Fourth Year_

“Marlene!”

The blonde girl paused at the bottom of the stairs, her heart fluttering to a stop when she saw Aaron approaching.

“I need to talk to you,” he said, eyeing Hestia and Alice, who eyed him right back.

“Go on,” Marlene said to Hestia and Alice. “I’ll catch up with you.”

The girls nodded and moved along, whispering to each other and glancing back at the pair. Aaron cleared his throat, and Marlene turned her attention back to him.

“What is it?” Marlene asked.

“I was wondering if you’d wanted to go to Hogsmeade with me next weekend.”

Marlene’s heart thudded in her chest, and she could feel the blood rising to her cheeks. “I—Aaron, I—” as she was about to begin gushing, saying yes, yes, a thousand times yes, he clarified hastily:

“Not like _that,_ duh, Marley! I just...do you know Bertha Jorkins?”

She froze, her face still bright red. Her throat seemed swollen shut. She nodded her head tightly.

“I’ve...” Aaron glanced around, then leaned in, whispering: “I’ve fancied her since third year, Marl, but she thinks I’m invisible!”  
Marlene found her voice. “Isn’t she in sixth year?”

“So?” Aaron asked, scowling. “Will you go with me? To make her jealous, that’s it.”

She didn’t know why she said yes, but she did.

Aaron looked visibly relieved. “Great. Thanks, Marls. You’re the best.” He hurried away, leaving a miserable Marlene in his wake.

 

***

 

“He used to be so _shy_ and timid,” Marlene moped to Mary that evening. “Something changed this year. I can’t figure it out! What happened?”

“He’s fourteen,” Mary said rationally. “No boy is sane at fourteen.”

“I’m _done_ with boys,” Marlene said dramatically. “Fourteen-year-old blokes are _idiots.”_

Mary smiled a small smile. “I’m sure he didn’t mean to hurt you, Marl. He doesn’t know you fancy him.”

“I do _not_ fancy him!” Marlene said indignantly.

“Of course you don’t,” Mary said soothingly. “Will you go with him?”

“I…I guess? I want to, but not to make some other bird jealous…” Marlene threw herself down onto her bed.

“He’ll come around,” Mary said confidently. “Trust me.”

 

_Seventh Year_

“Imagine if we’d actually begun dating in fourth year,” Aaron said wryly, throwing himself onto the sofa in the Gryffindor common room early before breakfast one morning.

Marlene leaned against his legs, staring into the fire and giggling. “We probably would’ve gotten sick of each other and broken up by now.”

“That is true. You’re quite insufferable.”

She swatted his legs, still laughing. “Prat.”

There was a clatter from the girl’s staircase, and Lily descended, looking angry and determined.

“Lil, are you okay?” Aaron asked, noting the impatience radiating off the girl in waves.

She waved a hand. “Fine. I just have something very important to do.”

Marlene blinked. “What’s that?”

“I need to ask Potter out.”

Aaron and Marlene exchanged glances. “What d’you think?” Aaron asked her in a low voice. “Amortentia? I wouldn’t put it past Black, at least.”

Marlene tilted her head. “I dunno. Could be genuine. Lily, could you come here for a second?”

She obliged, looking angrier by the second. “I don’t know where he _is,”_ she grumbled. “Bloody git shows up whenever you don’t need him, but when you do...” she trailed off, still fuming.

“Er...right.” Marlene tugged her wand out from her sleeve and flicked it at Lily, mumbling, “ _Specialis Revelio.”_ Nothing happened. “Well,” Marlene said cautiously. “No _Imperio_ or Amortentia.”

Lily rolled her eyes and stalked away. “Maybe he’s at breakfast,” she muttered as she clambered out of the portrait hole.

“She’s in a good mood,” Aaron commented.

Marlene snorted, pulling her Transfiguration textbook from her bag. “We both have to read chapters ten and eleven by tomorrow,” she began. “Want me to read it aloud?”

“Please.” Aaron stretched out, catlike, across the couch.

Marlene flipped to chapter ten, assumed a more comfortable position against the couch, and began to read: “Chapter Ten: Human Transformation to Inanimate Objects. Once one has managed the human-to-animal transformation as detailed in chapters eight through nine, casters can move on to a more dangerous form of Transfiguration: Inanimate Object Transfiguration. Below is a list of common incantations to change a human into less rare items such as quills, books, parchment...”

The two sat together working through their Transfiguration works until the sun rose higher in the sky, until Aaron needed to carry James to the Hospital Wing and Marlene needed to find Lily.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back! Did you miss me? Of course not. Thank you for all those lovely reviews, by the way! I always love hearing from you, it really makes my day. I've been preoccupied and stressed lately, but writing is such a relief. 
> 
> Love you all!  
> Alys


	24. One Hundred

CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR: One Hundred

 

James was nowhere to be seen at breakfast.

Sirius shrugged when Lily asked her, answering something vague about him having slept in. Peter said James hadn’t been feeling well. Remus laughed at her.

“Why are you laughing?” Lily asked, pouting slightly. “I’m just _looking_ for my _friend.”_

“You’ve been tailing him since the beginning of the year,” he said, still smiling. “He’s up in his room, last I heard. Said he was feeling sick and that no one was to disturb him. It was very dramatic.”

Lily smiled. “Thanks.” She checked her watch, figuring that with thirty minutes until Charms she could risk a trip back up to Gryffindor Tower, even if Marlene and Aaron were up there being annoying adorable. After all, true love was more important than NEWTs, she thought sardonically, then blushed at the very thought.

“Are you alright?” Peter asked hesitantly as Lily stood up. “You just went all red.”

“Fine,” she mumbled. “I—er—left something in my dorm. I’ll be right back.”

Mary caught her on her way out of the hall. “Something wrong?” she asked.

“No!” Lily said. “I just forgot something. Go on and eat without me.”

She looked at the Head Girl strangely. “Alright. See you in a few.”

Lily had to jump behind a tapestry to avoid Peeves, who had been conspicuously scarce earlier in the year (Lily suspected some sort of bribery from the Marauders, some rubbish about making their final year all about them) and discovered a narrow passage leading in a steep incline.

Glancing around, Lily decided to try it. She placed her hands on either side of the carved-out walls, squeezing her way up. “For once I’m grateful for Petunia’s crazed wedding diet,” she muttered, turning sideways and bowing her head to make it through.

When the passage had narrowed so thin Lily could barely move, the walls suddenly fell away to reveal a much larger room, with broken statues and ripped tapestries strewn about the floor.

She moved carefully through, lighting her wand to illuminate everything. On the opposite wall from where she had come she found a small brass door handle, which she tugged once and then pushed firmly outwards.

The door swung open, revealing the portrait of the Fat Lady just across the hall. The woman in the painting gave a little shriek of surprise when Lily emerged, brushing off her robes. When she turned back to see what door she’d just come through, as she didn’t recall there being one there before, she saw a small cupboard door quickly fading into stone, a little brass doorknob just barely visible.

“I’m sorry about the fright,” Lily said to the Fat Lady. “I think I’ve just discovered a new passageway.”

A hand pressed to her chest, the lady nodded. “Are you looking for the Potter boy, dear?”

Lily smiled. “That obvious?”

She nodded sympathetically. “I’m afraid he’s not here, though, love. That boy, McKinnon, was practically carrying him down the hall earlier. He was yelling something about the Hospital Wing, you might try there.”

“Thank you,” Lily said, though her stomach was settling into a pit of dread. What on earth was _wrong_ with him?

She hurried back down the stairs, through another secret passageway to the Hospital Wing. She burst through the doors, out of breath and gasping. “Where is he?” she demanded.

Madam Pomfrey looked up from bandaging a Ravenclaw girl, scandalized. “Miss Evans!”

“James,” Lily interrupted. “Where is he?”

Blustering, Madam Pomfrey set down the bandages and handed the girl a potion. “He’s left, Miss Evans. I discharged him only moments ago.”

“What was wrong with him?”

“Just a headache. Fever. Nothing a Pepperup Potion couldn’t cure. Now, Miss Evans, surely you know better than to come barging in here and disturbing my patients—”

“Thanks,” Lily said shortly, bolting back out through the doors. “If I were a James Potter, where would I go?” she mused.

“Up those stairs,” a voice said behind her.

Lily whirled, taking in the sight of an old warlock in a painting, holding a bowl of fruit. “Thank you,” she said breathlessly.

The warlock inclined his head. “You’d best hurry. He seemed like he was ready to faint, that one.”

The Head Girl took the steps two at a time, her black flats pounding against the stone but hardly making a sound. She found him in a second floor corridor, a hand pressed to his head, in front of an old tapestry.

“James!” She called, hurrying to catch up with him. “What are you doing? You should be in the Hospital wing—”

“There you are,” he muttered. “I’d sent Abbott up to your room to get you. I had to ask her to guess your password.”

Lily snorted. “She will _never_ find out that password. What’s wrong with you, anyways?”

“Well, I’m far too handsome for my own good, for starters—”

“You know bloody well what I mean!”

James met her gaze, shrugging. “Lost a bet last night. Had to take year-old Polyjuice potion and turn into myself. It didn’t really go over so well, but I wasn’t going to tell Pomfrey that, was I?”

“What was the bet?” Lily asked suspiciously, “and why do you have year-old Polyjuice potion in your room?”

James waved a hand. “Oh, nothing important. It was a bet from last year. I could reach one hundred by today, et cetera et cetera.”

Lily held her breath. “I think you may have conceded defeat a little too soon,” she said.

“What?”

“James Potter, will you go out with me?”

James stared at her for second. He didn’t breath. Then he blinked, and then he spoke. “Are you telling me I got _poisoned_ for _nothing?”_

“Er...yes? So sorry.”

“Merlin, Evans, you couldn’t have asked last night?”

“Well, I _wanted_ too,” Lily argued, “but you were a bit busy, weren’t you?”

James put his head in his hands. “I wanted to revel in this moment forever, but I just feel like vomiting.”

“Okay,” Lily said firmly, looping her arm around his shoulders. “You’re going back up to Gryffindor tower. Luckily for you, I found a secret passageway.”

“I found it first,” James mumbled.

“Not this one,” Lily assured him, pulling him along. “You’ll love it.”

As she ushered him back down the corridor and stairs she placed her hands on his shoulders to lead him over to where the tapestry was, ducking under it with him. “You go first,” she said.

He muttered something as she shoved him forward, squeezing through the narrow walls.

“Hm?” Lily asked.

“I thought you hated me,” he said, a little louder.

Lily blushed, glad he couldn’t see her. “Nah, I didn’t,” she said. “I thought you were a git for a while, sure. I don’t know if I ever really _hated_ you. I can’t really bring myself to hate anyone, really.”

“You don’t hate anyone?” he asked in disbelief, turning sideways to move through the tiny passageway.

Lily shrugged, as much as she could while the rough walls were scraping up the shoulders of her uniform. “I dunno. Someone will bully me and I’ll say I hate them, but I don’t, not really. I mean, take those Slytherins for example. We both know they’re a product of how they were raised.”

“Yeah, but look at Sirius,” James argued, finally pushing through into the cavernous room full of broken things and lighting his wand.

“I think you and I can both agree Sirius is a special case,” Lily said, smiling. “Here we are.”

“I need to add this to the map,” James said eagerly. “This is brilliant.”

Lily sucked on her lips. “Or,” she said carefully. “You could leave it off. As far as I know, only the two of us know about it.” She took a step closer to him. “Why not have one place in the castle that’s just for us?”

“We could tell our kids about it,” James said with a smirk.

Lily wrinkled her nose and punched him playfully on the arm. “Thanks for ruining the mood, prat. I _was_ going to kiss you...”

“Oh, please,” James said, grinning easily and leaning against a wardrobe with a snapped door. “Go right ahead. Don’t let me stop you.”

“I’m afraid you’ll have to wait,” Lily said. “You’re not feeling well.”

“I thought I was feeling brilliantly.”

“Oh, no, James Potter. You can’t fool me.” There was a tightness in the way he held himself that betrayed how truly awful he was feeling, and Lily could have spotted it a mile away. She didn’t really want to think of what that meant about her. “I’m taking you back up to your dorm.”

“Mmm. And then what?”

“You’re a child,” she said disparagingly, but she smiled all the same. “We should be right outside the Fat Lady—ah, here!” She shoved the door open in the light of his wand and stepped out into the corridor, grateful to be breathing fresh air again.

The Fat Lady looked up from her glass of wine. “Ah, you found him!” she said approvingly. “Password?”

“Bubble tree,” James said confidently.

Lily raised an eyebrow. “You’re delirious,” she said. “It’s Lethifold.”

“Ah,” James said. “Yes. That makes sense.”

The Fat Lady swung forward, admitting them.

“Where’s everyone else?” James asked, noting how empty the common room was, with the exception of a fifth year girl furiously studying by the fire.

“In class,” Lily said. “Where I should be.”

“But you’re not.”

“I’m not,” she agreed.

“Can we go to your room?” James asked. “Yours has a cat. Mine does not.”

Lily sighed. “Ye—no.”

“Yeno?” James asked.

“No,” she said firmly. “You cannot know my password. At all.”

James was grinning now. “Is it something embarrassing? Come on, Evans, I have to know now.”

“Now you’re feeling better,” she muttered. “Fine. But you can’t say _anything,_ you hear?”

James mimed zipping his mouth, cast a quick spell around his shoes, then followed her up the steps.

“How _do_ you get up?” Lily asked curiously, her impending embarrassment momentarily forgotten. “I’ve never seen anyone else but the four of you do it.”

“Well...” James looked embarrassed now. “My feet...may or may not be hooves right now.”

Lily choked on nothing. “Are you serious? You transform _just_ your feet?”

“It works!” he said indignantly. “But Wormtail can’t really do it. Being a rat, he has really tiny feet...”

Lily snorted as they reached her room, and then her cheeks flushed. “Just so you know, it’s changing as soon as the twenty-four hours are up,” she said. “It was an accident. I was messing around, and—”

“I really need to sleep,” James interrupted.

“Right,” Lily said. “Er...how about I just whisper it, then?”

“Alright,” James said.

“ _Lily Potter,”_ Lily whispered to her doorknob. She heard the click, and pushed her door open, spilling the soft light from inside her room out onto the landing. Herbert ran over to her, rubbing against her legs. She bent to pet him when she noticed James watching her, clearly trying not to laugh.

“You heard!” She cried, scooping up her cat. “You’re laughing at me!”  
James shook his head emphatically, his shoulders shaking with badly suppressed laughter.

“You tosser! I hate you!”  
He finally swallowed his giggles enough to say, “I thought you didn’t hate anything.”

“At least I don’t have hooves for feet,” she retorted evenly, stroking Sir Herbert’s head, eliciting a loud purr from the kitten.

James pretended to be offended at this. “The ladies love the hooves.”

“Show those hooves to _one_ lady. I’ll bet you three galleons she’ll run away screaming.” Lily stepped back, allowing James to enter the room. “If you’re going to vomit, please don’t do it on my duvet. Mum bought that for me last summer, and I really love it.”

“Aw, there’s little broomsticks on them,” James cooed, running his fingers over it.

“Shoes off,” Lily ordered, dropping her book bag in the chair by her desk while balancing Herbert on one arm. “You will only receive my cat once you’re in bed, without your shoes, and promise me you’ll sleep.”

“Only if you stay,” he said cheekily.

Lily sighed. “I suppose going to class after this much distraction would be rather pointless, wouldn’t it be?”

He nodded solemnly.

Fighting a grin, Lily removed her own shoes and curled up next to him, dropping the cat on his face. James spluttered, spitting fur as the cat whipped his tail across the boy’s face. Herbert finally curled around James’ head, his tail swishing across his forehead occasionally.

After several moments of comfortable silence during which Lily found herself encompassed in James’ arms and Herbert had begun to bathe himself, she finally spoke: “You’re not contagious, are you?”

James snorted, rolling over until he’d buried his face in her hair. “If I am, it’s too late for you.”

Lily gasped mockingly. “Run, Sir Herbert! Save yourself!”

The cat paused to lick her forehead before returning to his bath.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ohmigosh, guys, it's 100! Thanks so much for sticking with me from the beginning (or even if you just joined, hell yeah!) Coming up next: a torn scarf, first date, and another confrontation!
> 
> Stay tuned!  
> Love,  
> Alys


	25. Career Day

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE - Career Day

 

Lily was late for a Quidditch match.

This in and of itself was surprising, as Lily rarely found herself anywhere running late, but it was even more surprising because it was technically her first date with James since she’d asked him out the previous week. Lily was usually exceptionally timely with even the least consequential of things; her weekend homework done before breakfast on Saturday, five minutes early to each class, never spending longer than ten minutes getting ready in the morning. So you’d think that for something as important as her first date, she’d have been waiting in the common room for him, not frantically searching her room for something to mend a scarf with.

She’d been too busy to schedule a Hogsmeade weekend, but fortunately there was a Slytherin/Hufflepuff match anyways, so (after some coaxing) she’d convinced James to go with her.

“But I need Slytherin to win,” he’d complained. “I can’t cheer on Slytherin, Lily!”

“Then cheer on Hufflepuff,” Lily had said.

“I _can’t!_ If Hufflepuff wins, we’ll need to score an additional fifty points in the next match against them! If Slytherin wins, we only need an additional twenty!”

Through some cajoling and the promise of cookies Lily convinced James that the match was a better alternative to his suggestion, which was to just sneak out of the castle to Hogsmeade and Apparate to Diagon Alley.

“As Head Boy, you should not be condoning that behavior,” she’d scolded lightly.

James had grinned. “As Quidditch captain, I should not be going to this match at all. We’ll wear Gryffindor colors, alright?”

Lily had attempted to protest this, the thought of his damaged scarf in her room, but had eventually given in.

But finally the day had come, and the tear in James’ Gryffindor scarf had gotten so large the entire scarf was in two pieces. Lily found herself a minute before the game sitting in her room, the two halves on her lap, wand in hand.

“ _Reparo_ ,” she muttered for the fifteenth time. The stitches wove back together, but they were loose and ripped easily when she picked it up. “Shit.”

There was a sharp rap on her door, to which she quickly responded, “I’m coming, I’m coming—I know I’m late.”

“Relax,” Marlene called through the shut door. “Last I heard from Sirius, James is freaking out over where his scarf is. Apparently he lost it.”

Lily flung the door open, mangled scarf in hand. “I may have the solution to his problem,” she said grimly. “It’s the source of mine.”

“Merlin’s balls, what did you _do?”_ Marlene pushed past Lily into her room, snatching the scarf out of her grasp. Sighing, Lily shut the door behind her friend. “Did Herbie get to it?”  
“No!” Lily said defensively. “James gave it to me before the last match. It snagged as I was sneaking away from stunning those Slytherins.”

“Yes, we know you’re very proud of that, as you should be.” Marlene patted Lily’s cheek condescendingly. “Have you tried _Reparo?”_

“No,” Lily said sarcastically. “I’m completely incompetent, Marlene, and I’ve just been sitting here staring it, hoping my gaze can resurrect Merlin himself to mend it with his bloody holy bullocks.”

“Touchy,” Marlene said, wrinkling her nose. “Why won’t _reparo_ work?”

“I think it’s old,” Lily said, frustrated. “Sometimes the older and more sentimental an object, the more it resists a repairing spell. Very inconvenient, if you ask me.”

Marlene examined the scarf closely, holding each half up to her eyes individually. “It’s hopeless,” she announced finally. “I think you just need to show it to him, Lily. I’m sure he won’t mind, considering the circumstances. In fact, I think he’ll be thrilled.”

Lily took the scarf back with a sigh, tugging at the hem of her maroon sweater. “Alright, alright,” she grumbled. “I’ll tell him. Are you going to the game?”

“No, Mary and I were going to study in the library. Hestia and Aaron are going, though. I told them to report back everything that happens.”

Lily raised her head from the scarf. “About the match?” she asked suspiciously.

“Of course not,” Marlene said cheerfully. “About your date!”

Lily left then wordlessly, abandoning Marlene in her room.

“I told her to tell me _everything!”_ Marlene called down the stairs gleefully as Lily waved a hand sarcastically back at her.

Remus and Peter were in the common room, hovering around the stairs. Remus looked amused, but Peter was twitching.

“Everything alright?” Lily asked suspiciously, stuffing the scarf under the hem of her sweater. It was a bit lumpy, but it effectively hid the evidence.

“James is...James has...”

“He’s gone batshit insane,” Remus finished for Peter. “Can’t find his lucky scarf. Something about his future with you being in jeopardy, the world as we know it ending, I didn’t really pay attention once he started hyperbolizing.”

Lily forced a smile that looked natural. “Of course he can’t find it. He gave it to me, remember?”

“Right!” Peter’s muscles relaxed. “I’ll go tell him. Thanks, Evans.”

As soon as Peter had disappeared up the stairs to the boy’s dorm, Remus rounded on Lily. “What did you do to the scarf?” He demanded. “I can see it poking out from under your sweater.”

Lily blanched. “I ruined it,” she whispered. “Nothing will work.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Good luck explaining that.”

“Are you saying he’ll be mad?”

“Nah,” Remus said. “If it had been any of us, yes. Because it’s you, no.”

Lily bristled. “That’s ridiculous. I shouldn’t get a free pass. I’ll tell him I ripped it up out of spite, then.”

Remus smirked. “No. I meant because you destroyed it while saving his life.”

“Oh.”

Right then, James came bounding down the stairs. “You have it?” he asked, his cheeks flushed. “Brilliant. We’re going to be late.”

Lily rolled her eyes. “I’ve been here for a while, Potter. You’re the one who’s going to make us late.”

“Come along then,” he said. “Is that my scarf?”

Remus and Lily exchanged meaningful glances. “I’ll explain on the way down,” she promised, grabbing his hand in her gloved one.

 

***

 

Though they sat in the Hufflepuff section, James and Lily wore maroon and gold, loyal to a fault. One half of the scarf was looped around Lily’s neck, while the other was slung around James’.

“It really couldn’t have been more perfect,” he’d said, grinning. “Now we can share.”

Lily had rolled her eyes and pecked him on the cheek.

The game progressed slowly, with half the players obscured by the thick clouds that swirled in the sky, threatening to snow again. Lily’s breath fogged in front of her and her nose was bright red, but she couldn’t have been happier. “My weekend homework is done, I’ve got half a scarf ‘round my neck, and I’m on a date. The only thing to improve this day would be _snow.”_

James smiled at her. “You know, there’s this thing called _magic,_ Evans.”

“It has to be real snow,” she insisted. “Fresh from the sky.”

“Well, then, I’m sorry, Evans, I can’t get you snow as a present.”

They lapsed into a companionable silence, watching the game (what they could see of it, anyways) and enjoying the cold mid-February air. Lily hoped none of the Slytherins were hexing the Hufflepuffs. She didn’t think she wanted to leave to tell them off.

The game continued for the next two hours, but Lily and James had left.

“Watching colored figures appear and disappear into the fog was not really my idea of a stellar date, Evans,” he’d said apologetically as he led her from the stands. Lily didn’t care. Nothing, she thought, could ruin her happiness today.

“Oi, Evans!”

Except this.

Dolohov, Jugson, and two Ravenclaws stood before them, arms folded, sneers set on their faces.

“D’you think that by marrying into a pureblood family, it’ll make you worth more?”

Lily’s hand clenched around her wand. She was about to retort, but James had already strode forward and punched Dolohov in the jaw.

“James!” Lily grabbed his arm and held him back. “Muggle dueling will just get you in trouble,” she hissed.

The Ravenclaw girl sneered. “Can’t even stick up for yourself, can you?”

“I have nothing against you,” Lily said furiously. “Leave us alone.” Still holding James still, trying to ignore the murderous look on his face, she continued up to the castle.

“You’ll get what’s coming to you, Mudblood!” Jugson jeered after her. “The Dark Lord is coming!”

Once inside the castle, Lily sighed, pushing her hair out of her eyes. “The Dark Lord is coming?” she repeated skeptically. “Was that supposed to be intimidating? Honestly.”

James, however, was seething. “He can’t—they can’t talk to you that way! How are you so—so nonchalant about it?”

Lily shrugged. “I’m used to it, I guess.”

This only made him angrier. The expression on his face became darker. “You should _not_ have to be _used_ to this abuse,” he said, wand in hand. “Let me at them—once they’re in Mungo’s, they won’t be able to hurt you.”

“It won’t help,” she said soothingly, her heart aching. “Prejudice only spreads. Clipping one or two buds won’t stop the whole weed. Yesterday we thought only Slytherins were capable of this...hatred. But there are Ravenclaws, too. Stupidity isn’t house-specific, James. There’s nothing you can do.”

“I can become an Auror,” he said, his voice taking on a dark, quiet tone. “I can hunt those sons of bitches before they can really hurt anyone.”

Lily was suprised. “I thought you wanted to be a Quidditch player. You certainly have the skill for it.”

He waved away the compliment, which surprised her even more. “I will become and Auror,” he said, with more conviction.

“I will too, then,” Lily said firmly. “You don’t think you’re doing it without me, do you?”

“I don’t—it’s not safe,” he said weakly, running a hand through his hair. “Let me do this for you, Lily.”

“It’s my war too,” she said indignantly. “If you think I’m not fighting, forget about it. We’re in this together now, James. For better or worse.”

He kissed her then, an unspoken thanks passing between them. Lily for his conviction, and James for her determination. They would not be separated, even in death.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a bit late--I'll admit I had some trouble writing this chapter. I don't know why. I've been super busy lately, what with failing my permit test and all, but I finally have a stack of books to read and I'm super happy about that! Anyways, hope you enjoy :) Leave a comment if you're so inclined.
> 
> Love,  
> Alys


	26. Presents

CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX: Presents

 

James awoke the morning of his eighteenth birthday to find his girlfriend and his brother leaning over his bed, staring at him.

“Are you sure he’s not dead?” Lily asked, squinting. “He doesn’t seem to be breathing.”

“Nah, he’s alive,” Sirius said casually. “I’m pretty sure. But it’d sure make things cyclical, if he died on his birthday.”

“I’m awake,” James announced blearily. “Happy birthday to me.”

Lily laughed, handing him a small box. “Happy birthday, love.”

The hangings of his bed, which he was positive he had dragged shut last night, had been thrown open, allowing the early-morning sun to glare directly into James’ eyes as he pulled himself up against the pillows into some semblance of a sitting position.

Sirius tossed himself down next to James, dragging the other presents from the foot of the bed closer. “Moony and Wormtail are getting breakfast,” he said. “They should be here soon.” He tossed an opened letter at James, taking a piece of chocolate from a box that had clearly already been picked through. “Dad says he wants his cloak back, by the way. Says he need it for a few days. For the Ministry, I suspect.”

James snatched the box away from Sirius as Lily asked, “His cloak? You mean the invisibility cloak?”

“Yeah,” Sirius said through a mouthful of chocolate. “James stole it from his dad one day third year. Fleamont never asked for it back, so...” he shrugged. “C’est la vie.”

“Dunno what he wants it _for,_ ” James muttered. “He’s retired.”

Lily slid a glance over to James. “Is your middle name Fleamont?” she asked. “Is it honest-to-god, truly _Fleamont?”_

“It’s a family name,” James Fleamont Potter said defensively. “Now give me the presents.”

“Nuh-uh,” Sirius said, smacking his hand away. “We’re waiting for Moony and Wormtail. And food.” His hand was inching its way back to the box of chocolates from James’ parents.

Luckily for Sirius, who was about to be tackled by an angry Head Boy, Remus and Peter chose that moment to say the password (“Lily”) and burst into the room, arms full of breakfast.

Lily clapped her hands together in excitement, pulling a plate of waffles from a bag Remus held. She offered one to James and then settled back against his pillows to eat. Finally ready to open his presents, James reached for Lily’s first, opening the box to find a small crystal bottle of Sleekeazy’s Hair Potion (“Two drops will tame even the snarliest mane!”). He simply stared at it for thirty seconds, while the other Marauders held in their laughter.

“Out,” he said loudly, pointing to the door.

Lily burst into laughter. “I have your actual present in my room, don’t worry. But if you could use it before the wedding, I think Petunia would appreciate it—”

“Out!” James repeated, pointing again.

Still laughing, Lily kissed him on the cheek.

Grumbling but mollified, James tossed the bottle on the floor (where it miraculously did not break) and reached for the one from Frank Longbottom.

Remus motioned Lily over, so she set aside her plate and joined him by the desk. “What is it?” she asked, sucking sugar off her fingers. “I actually got him a book on being an Auror, if that’s what you were wondering.”

“James’ father invented Sleekeazy,” Remus said quietly. “They used to force the stuff on him when he was little.”

Lily blinked. “Are you serious? Oh, Merlin, I have to meet him! He’s spectacular, I had no idea that was his _father!”_

“Yes, well...” Remus shrugged. “Just so you know.”

“Guess I’ll keep it and use it,” Lily said, eyeing the bottle. “I always wanted to see...”

“I wouldn’t,” he warned. “It’s been said to have...well, _unusual_ effects on redheads.”

Lily shuddered.

James managed to open the rest of his presents (besides Lily’s) before his first class, Arithmancy, so the five of them headed down to the common room together. Lily, who had a free first, offered to return the plates and uneaten food to the kitchens.

Sirius refused, grabbing the rest of the bags and stashing them in the 7th year boy’s dormitory.

“I don’t think I want to know how much food you have hidden away in there,” Lily said decisively.

“A wise decision,” Remus said, eyeing Sirius as he backed out of the room. “I don’t think I want to know where you got that jumper, though, Padfoot.”

James was proudly wearing a large sweater with a stag on it, with antlers sticking out of the shoulders.

“It’s charming!” Sirius protested.

“It’s terrifying,” Peter said decisively.

At breakfast, no less than twenty people came up to James and wished him a happy birthday, at least fifteen people Lily could have sworn she’d never seen in her life had brought him a present, and the entire Hall burst into a rousing chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’ when the five of them walked in.

“I knew you were popular,” Lily said near the end of breakfast as she passed him a plate of waffles for the third time, “But I honestly had no idea you were _this_ popular.”

James shrugged modestly. “What can I say? The people admire me.”

Lily laughed.

“So when do I get your present, hmm?” He asked, eyeing her suspiciously. “Don’t tell me you didn’t get me anything, and then seduce me to make up for it. I once had a girl do that in fourth year, and let me tell you, it was very disappointing.”

“I also had no idea you were so materialistic,” Lily sniffed. “I suppose I’ll give it to you during lunch, then, since you can’t wait until tonight.”

“Tonight?” James raised his eyebrows. “Are you _sure_ you’re not just going to seduce me?”

“I’m sure.” Lily kissed his cheek as she stood up, grabbing her book bag from beside her. “Meet me at the Astronomy Tower around eleven.”

James frowned. “But I won’t have the cloak. I’m mailing it to my dad, remember?”

Lily waved a hand. “I’m sure you have other ways of getting to the tower unnoticed. How do you think I’m going to do it?” She then swept off, leaving him to ponder how to turn invisible without a cloak.

Lily wondered sometimes how someone who claimed himself such a genius when it came to the art of mischief-making could be so utterly clueless. She also wondered sometimes how it was that she could be so brilliant. She was wondering both those things at the exact moment she booked the Astronomy Tower for an important Head Student meeting at eleven o’clock that night.

 

***

 

When James arrived at the Astronomy Tower at half past eleven, having wasted nearly a half an hour trying to avoid Mrs. Norris, he half expected his girlfriend to be in some sort of state of undress. He was not prepared for her to be wrapped in a thick scarf, with her half of the Gryffindor scarf wrapped around her neck, a white woolen scarf pulled low over her ears, a large present clutched to her chest.

“How are you not freezing?” She demanded. “It’s March!”

“Almost April, actually.” James gestured to the wand sticking out of his pocket. “And I have heating charms.”

Lily huffed. “I would wear warm sweaters all year if I could. Heating charms be damned.”

James moved closer to her. “So. What did you have in mind?”

“Well,” Lily began, stepping away from the window, “I thought I’d begin by giving you your present.” She held out the parcel, clumsily wrapped in midnight blue paper. “I’m sorry it’s so messy,” she said, blushing slightly. “Petunia’s the one who excels at arts and crafts, not me.”

“It’s perfect,” James said automatically, tearing off the paper. The book fell heavy into his hands, the glossy cover and the ridged spine almost foreign in his fingers. “Is this—?”

“It’s one of the most comprehensive guides to being an Auror today,” Lily said anxiously. Her air of casual mystery and confidence had evaporated, and now she seemed to be holding her breath, waiting for a reaction.

“I love it,” James said hoarsely. “It’s...it’s perfect.”

Lily cleared her throat. “Yes, well, I might borrow it from time to time, since we’ll be working together—”

“Lily, you can’t,” he said. “It’s too dangerous.”

“But not for you?” Lily fired back. “I thought we went over this. It’s my life, James, and I want to fight as much as you do. I’m not accepted in either world, but this is the one I want to live in, so I will fight for it until my dying breath.”

James was silent for a moment as Lily breathed heavily, her breath steaming in front of her. He kissed her then, sweetly and gently, an unspoken gratitude passing from him to her. It was Lily who broke them apart, tugging her wand from under the hem of her sweater.

“And there was something I wanted to show you,” she said, her determination from before fading again. “I was doing the homework on Patronuses last night, and, well...I figured you should know. I mean, I just assumed yours would be—well, obviously, only you would know, but I just thought that before we demonstrated in class tomorrow, I’d give you a heads up.” She bit her lower lip.

James didn’t say anything, just gave an encouraging nod.

Lily closed her eyes and took several deep, calming breaths. When she was ready, she raised her wand and whispered, “ _Expecto Patronum.”_ A silver doe erupted form the end of her wand, landing lightly on the moonlit floor of the Tower and cantering towards James, who stared at it, awe-stuck. He held out a hand, but when he went to touch the doe it vanished, melting into the air.

“I—” he stared at her, at a loss for words.

She nodded.

They were silent for a few seconds. The air hung between them tentatively, but not entirely awkwardly. The whole world seemed to hold its breath, waiting for one of them to speak first.

It was Lily who finally did, the stillness shattering as she voiced what both of them were thinking: “I think I love you.”

James managed a smile. “I think I love you, too.”

Lily sighed dramatically. “What are we going to do about this?”

“I’m sure we’ll find a way to cope.”

They stayed in the Astronomy Tower until the sun rose in comfortable silence, leaning against each other until they finally fell asleep at dawn.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Hey guys! Expect more gaps between updates like this, because I've begun to realize I SUCK at keeping a deadline. Writing for a publisher is probably going to kill me.   
> Anyways, I hope you enjoy. I'm totally exhausted, but I really wanted to post this before I went to sleep.
> 
> Goodnight (or whatever time of day it is when you read this)!  
> Alys


	27. Something Old

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's time for cliché wedding chapter titles!

CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN – Something Old

 

_Dear Mum,_

_Mary and Marlene won’t come to Tuney’s wedding. They won’t tell me why, they just giggle every time I ask. It’s quite infuriating, actually. But I won’t be going alone, don’t you worry! I actually have a date._

_I know. Me. With a date!_

_His name is James Potter. Yes, THAT James Potter. The one I’ve ranted about for YEARS. He’s coming along. Let Petunia know I’ll only need a plus one, rather than a plus two._

_See you soon!_

_All my love,_

_Lily_

_***_

James and Lily were the only seventh years on the train home that Easter.

They sat in the Marauder’s usual compartment (as James refused to sit anywhere else) and planned, down to the second, how they would skirt around Vernon and Petunia. They both reclined on the long benches, their legs stretched out before them.

“Vernon knows I’m a witch now, so he’ll probably suspect there’s something wrong with you,” Lily said matter-of-factly, twirling her wand between her fingers so it emitted gold sparks.

James bristled. “Wrong with me? Why would there be anything wrong with _me?”_

“Because in my sister and her husband-to-be’s perfect world, you would have to be certifiably insane to even look twice at me, let alone _think_ of dating me.” She smiled wryly. “Let’s go over the arrival once again.”

“Your mum’s getting us at the train station this evening, to drive us back to your house,” James recited, resting his head against the cool glass of the window. “Petunia may or may not be there.”

Lily frowned. “I don’t like not knowing, so we’ll prepare as if she is. I’ll introduce you, you’ll behave better than haven’t had to since your Great Aunt Hilda found your collection of pornographic magazines.”

James snorted. “First of all, I don’t have a Great Aunt Hilda. Or a collection of pornographic magazines, thank you very much. Second of all, I am _always_ charming. Thirdly, _why_ is that the first thing that pops into your head? I don’t even think it made sense in this context.”

“I don’t know!” Lily snapped. “I am _this_ close to punching a hole in this window.”

James sighed, swinging himself around so his feet were on the compartment floor and he was facing Lily fully. “We can do this,” he insisted. “If there’s one thing I know with complete certainty we can handle, it’s your sister’s wedding.”

Lily exhaled, pinching the bridge of her nose with one hand while bringing her twirling wand to a rest against her knee with the other. “I’m scared of what she’ll say.”

“Fuck what she says,” James said emphatically.

Lily gave a little start, her fingers slipping around her wand, letting it clatter to the floor. She didn’t move to pick it up. “Excuse me? She’s my sister!”

“Yeah, and when was the last time she acted like it?”

Lily was silent.

“We’ll go to her wedding, you’ll be your usual saintlike self, and your sister will find something to bitch about to you. So what? You don’t have to care, Lily.” He was leaning forward, staring her in the eyes with a sort of burning intensity.

Lily shook her head with a wry smile. “I’m not a saint,” she said, pressing her lips together before continuing. “I did some things when I was younger. Unforgivable things. I don’t really blame Tuney, and...sorry, James, but it’s obvious you’re an only child right now. You always love your siblings, no matter what. Even if she went on a killing spree, murdered half of London, I’d still love her. It’s like...I have to, you know.”

James sat back again, grabbing Lily’s wand off the floor. “It’s one of the things I admire most about you,” he said absently, turning the wand in his fingers. “You always see the best in people.”

Lily snorted. “Seriously?”

He paused. “What?”

“ _You’re_ telling _me_ I always see the best in people? I only started trying to do that after you were so _infuriatingly_ sure I would pass that exam fourth year. You somehow convinced me that despite not having studied Divination all year, I could still pass. You were so _determined_ I could that I somehow did. And it inspired me.”

“Lily, I was just being a little shit,” he said, mystified. “And sarcastic. Seeing you pass, and then continue to lift other people up—”

“Okay, let’s just stop,” Lily said, raising a hand. “Clearly, we both learned some valuable life lesson from each other. It’s heartwarming and all, but there’s a pit in my stomach full of raw nerves and anxiety, and it’s not going away.”

James handed her back her wand. “What do you want to do?”

“Sleep,” she said honestly, crossing the compartment to sit next to him. “Sirius once told me your shoulder was very soft.”

“Did he also tell you it was after he dislocated it?” James scowled. “Now _he’s_ a little shit.”

Lily smiled, resting her head on his chest and closing her eyes. “Wake me up when we arrive.”

She fell asleep to the hum of the engine, the slight jostling of the carriage, and the rhythmic stroking of James’ hand on her hair.

 

***

 

James helped Lily lower her trunk to the ground, setting it at her feet and going back for his own as she scanned the waiting crowd, waiting for a tall figure with hair as red as hers. The platform wasn't nearly as busy at it usually was, but the usual throng of parents and relatives crowded the edges.

“Any sign of her?” he asked.

“Not y—oh _, Merlin_.”

James set his own trunk down and followed her gaze to a tall stick thin blonde girl, waiting impatiently at the very edge of the barrier, almost leaning on the brick wall that lead to the platform, still on the Muggle side of the station. “Petunia,” he said, his voice rising in surprise. “I thought you said—”

“I have no idea what she’s doing here,” Lily said tightly, closing a hand around Herbert Humphrey’s cage. The kitten let out a small yelp as he was jostled. All around the platform, younger students were greeting their eagerly awaiting parents, with hugs and kisses and squeals of happiness that made Lily shiver despite her thick cream-colored sweater.

“Come on,” James said. “I don’t think she’ll like to be left waiting.”

Lily dragged her trunk through the barrier, James on her heels. Petunia looked up when they arrived, her keys swinging from her fingers.

“I thought you were him,” she sniffed, eyeing James. “You were at my engagement party.”

“Yes,” James said apologetically.

Petunia stared for another moment before turning to Lily. “The car’s out front. Mum’s entertaining the guests. It was her idea for me to come.” With that, she spun on her heel and began her way back towards the entrance of the station.

After a quickly exchanged glance, James and Lily hurried after her, charms cast on their trunks to reduce their weight.

Petunia had parked in the lot, and slid into the driver’s seat without bothering to offer to help with the trunks.

Lily sighed, opening the boot of the car and hoisting the trunks into it. They wouldn’t have fit if it weren’t for a hastily whispered Undetectable Extension charm, courtesy of James.

They sat together in the back of the car, silent as Petunia fiddled with the radio, settling on a Beatles song for a few minutes. James stared out the window, his expression unreadable. The gray clouds were reflected in his skin, an ashen pale hue. Lily slipped her hand into his and gave it a reassuring squeeze. How funny that not too long earlier, it had been him reassuring her.

Petunia’s eyes flicked towards her sister in the rearview mirror. “You have a tear in your stockings,” she said, sounding rather choked.

Lily glanced down. “Damn it,” she swore. “Must’ve torn it while lifting the trunk.” She shifted Herbie’s cage off of her lap, handing him to James and ignoring his protesting mewls. “ _Reparo.”_ The hole mended itself, sewn up as neat as if it had never happened. Petunia slammed on the brakes, and James probably would’ve let the cat slide to the floor if it weren’t for his Quidditch reflexes.

“Do— _not—_ do—that—in—my—car!” She said through gritted teeth, her usually-perfect hair windswept and her eyes, usually so cool and even, frazzled. “Vernon thinks you’re odd enough without you _showing_ _it off_ everywhere!”

With a lump in her throat, Lily accepted the cat’s cage back from James wordlessly.

The Beatles song ended, and they rode the rest of the ride in silence.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> I'm alive! I promise, I promise. Life has been HECTIC, I'm so sorry. I did mean to write all the wedding and post it at once, but I didn't want to wait that long. So it'll be in four short parts. I don't want to promise you short updates, it'll be unfair. I'd rather take the time, whether a week or a month, and give you good quality content I don't feel embarrassed about. Oh, who am I kidding, I'll be embarrassed about whatever I post. Point is, you guys deserve the best. So I'm going to take the time to ensure you GET the best. Think of this chapter as a sneak peek of the next three, okay?
> 
> Next up: more cliché wedding chapter titles, James meets Lily's mother and Vernon Dursley. James writes far too many letters to Sirius. 
> 
> Love you all!
> 
> Alys


	28. Something New

CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT - Something New

 

Lily’s mother showered her with kisses upon her arrival home, pulling her and her sister into one huge embrace. Lily could see various relatives over her mother’s shoulder, but fortunately these were all the same ones that had been here for the engagement party.

Once she had been released, Lily watched as her mother turned to James and turned a scrutinizing eye on him. “So,” she announced, her hands on her hips. Lily was proud to see that her mother was taller than James by a good two centimeters, and James shrunk under her gaze accordingly. Nothing followed the decisive, ‘so’, because Vernon had arrived to give Petunia a peck on the cheek and glare condescendingly at Lily.

“Hi Vernon,” Lily said, offering a small smile. Her sister’s fiancé said nothing, instead turning to James.

“So,” he said gruffly. “You’re like _her,_ aren’t you?”

James looked slightly bemused. “Er...yes? I’d like to think so. She’s undoubtedly kinder and far more wise than I am, though—”

“What he means is, are you a wizard,” Lily interrupted. “And the answer is yes.”

Vernon spluttered. “I—how dare—bringing one to the house—on our wedding!”

Petunia stayed quiet, but placed a hand on Vernon’s forearm. “Come on,” she said, in a softer tone than Lily had just about ever heard her. “My relatives are around.”

“Of course, dear,” Vernon said, his voice choking back to normal. His face, however, remained a rather hideous shade of tomato red. The two turned and went into the kitchen, where laughter and loud conversation between guests was occurring.

Lily turned to James, a slight blush on her cheeks. “I’m sorry about that. He’s not usually as...abrasive.”

James was grinning. “I suspect he is. Doesn’t matter. It’s not your fault, is it?”

“I...I guess not.” Lily sucked on her bottom lip for a second, scanning his face to see if she could detect a trace of sarcasm. Apparently satisfied, she clapped her hands together. “Right! You can drop your trunk in the guest room—most of the others are staying at a hotel. Mum saved this one specially for you—here.” She glanced around the entryway, empty save them and her mother. Mrs Evans smiled at her daughter before slinking away to join her eldest in the kitchen, giving the two some privacy.

Lily tugged her wand out of her sleeve and cast a quick feather light charm. “There. It’s the first door on the right, mine’s just next door—after that is Petunia’s. Don’t go in there, trust me. Lots of pale pink and lace. Like a wedding dress exploded on the walls.” She hauled her own trunk up the stairs first, James trailing behind her. Despite the charm, the trunk was still rather heavy. It was a charm Lily had never quite mastered.

“Here,” she announced, stopping outside the closed white door. “Your room.” She turned the handle and opened the door, revealing mint-green walls with a small painting of a lily flower, a cherry wood desk and matching bed standing against the far wall. Soft green coverlets and pillows were folded at the foot of the bed. “Guess they didn’t have time to make it, sorry.” She flicked her wand, trying to remember what it was Flitwick had said in that one lecture on household charms:

 _“It’s all about the_ intention. _I find it works best nonverbally, of course, as much advanced magic does. Envision the room cleaning, the trunk packing itself—and flick sharply, almost in commandment. Very nice, Miss Evans!”_

With all this in mind (the praise especially), Lily successfully made the bed, conjured a small bouquet of white lilies that matched the ones in the painting on the wall to sit in the empty vase on the windowsill, and straightened up the pens on the desk.

“That should do well,” she said, satisfied with her work. “I’ll be unpacking, just next door, if you need anything.” She hurried out before he could say anything else, shutting the door to her room behind her.

She exhaled heavily, dragging her trunk to the foot of her bed and popping the latches so it fell open. There was something distinctly _odd_ about having him here, she decided. When he and Sirius were around for the party, it wasn’t so weird. Mary and Marlene and Alice and Hestia came around often enough, and Lily couldn’t count how many times Marlene had slept in the small green guest room, and it wasn’t strange.

Suddenly very conscious that he was right next door to her own room, a thin wall separating them (his side painted green, hers a pale lavender), Lily flicked her wand sharply, commanding her clothes to fly from her trunk to the hamper. With a sigh, she collapsed on her bed. A heart-wrenching familiarity washed over her, and a homesickness she had not allowed herself to feel since the beginning of the year took twisted her gut.

Herbie meowed impatiently from his cage, demanding to be released. Lily obliged, lifting herself off the white duvet (embroidered with little violets) and sliding the door open, allowing the kitten to streak across the room and throw himself against the door, drunk on his taste of freedom.

Rolling her eyes, Lily got to her feet and opened the door, revealing a startled James, his hand poised to knock. Herbert Humphrey streaked between his legs and down the hall, no doubt to try and catch scraps of fallen food from the gathering in the kitchen downstairs.

“Hi,” he said, lowering his hand slowly.

“Hi,” she said back, smiling faintly. “I was just going to get you. I think mum’s left some food in the living room, if we’re quiet we could probably avoid as much family as possible—”

“Actually,” he said, clearing his throat awkwardly, “I was thinking about going out to dinner. Diagon Alley, or something. With you. If you...if you wanted.”

Lily’s eyebrows shot up. “Like...a date?”

“Well, yeah. We technically haven’t gone out together yet...” He shrugged. “It’d be something new.”

“It _would_ make Petunia mad,” she mused. “And we _would_ get out of the house... _and_ I’m hungry. I’m seeing nothing but good in agreeing, so sure,” she grinned. “Let’s go on a date.”

 

***

 

The Leaky Cauldron was not an optimal spot for a date. After Apparating into Diagon Alley, Lily and James were immediately accosted by three first years, home for the holidays.

“You’re the Head Girl!” one boy yelled triumphantly, pointing at her. “I know ‘cause your hair’s like fire.”

“Are you on a _date?”_ a girl asked, wide-eyed, looking from one to the other.

A second girl scowled. “My daddy told me to stay away from you,” she said, looking mistrustfully at Lily. “He said you were a no good m-mud person. But you helped Angie with her homework in January, so I don’t know.”

Lily was aware of James tensing beside her, but found herself oddly calm. She knelt next to the girl, sensing the other two backing away. The girl seemed a little scared.

“What’s your name?” Lily asked.

“Lucinda.”

Lily smiled kindly. “Angie...black hair, Ravenclaw?”

Lucinda nodded hesitantly.

“I remember her. She mentioned you a few times. She said you were really good in Charms. I think Flitwick goes easy on you first year—even so, it took me two years to become his favorite.”

“Y-you like Charms?” Lucinda asked, her voice wavering.

Lily nodded solemnly. “Your father has an opinion about me, but he hasn’t even met me yet. A lot of people will have opinions about me simply because of my blood, even though they haven’t met me. But that doesn’t mean you can confront them all—sometimes people who think that Muggleborns are inferior can be dangerous.” Lily glanced up at James, who was watching her with a funny look on his face. “Changing adults’ minds is hard. But if you hear someone in your house calling people mean names, calling them mudbloods, say something. Okay?”

Lucinda looked dubious again. “Okay...I guess.”

Lily wondered whether or not she had made her point. “You understand me, right? I’m not bad because of my blood. No one is.”

Lucinda nodded again, and Lily stood back up.

“ _Are_ you on a date?” the first girl asked again, more insistently this time.

“Yes,” Lily said, smiling. “So if you’ll excuse us, we really must be going.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys! Been SUPER busy. Junior year is HARD. Also learning to drive. Learning to drive is hard. Some asshole flipped me off TWICE the other day, if you can believe that. I cried for about two hours afterwards. Anyways, I'm sorry, but you might want to get used to these breaks. I'm not dead, I'm still writing, it's just...taking a while. Thanks for being patient and understanding, that more than anything means a lot to me. 
> 
> Love you all!
> 
> Alys


	29. Something Borrowed

CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE - SOMETHING BORROWED

 

The day of the wedding dawned bright and cold, the sky deceptively clear and blue. Lily watched Petunia in the garden below her window, fussing with her hair and arguing with one of her bridesmaids. With a sigh, Lily turned away and opened her closet, pulling out her dress.

There was a soft knock at her door, and her mother entered. She was already dressed, her mother-of-the-bride skirt and suit jacket crisp, wielding a comb and hair spray. “I came to do your hair,” she said, a weak smile on her face.

“Oh, I don’t want to trouble you,” Lily said, waving a hand. “Shouldn’t Tuney be at the church by now?”

Mrs Evans scrunched up her lips. “Yvonne is running late, and she promised to drive.”

“I can drive her,” Lily said, dropping into the chair by her vanity and pulling out her makeup bag from the drawer. “If she accepts, that is. She probably thinks I’ll magic it there or something.”

Her mother set the can of hair spray down on the desk with a thump. “Lily,” she said, placing her hands on her hips. The comb was still clutched in her fist. “I want you to hold off on the sarcasm. For _one_ day.”

“Absolutely. I can do that,” Lily said sarcastically.

Mrs Evans sighed and sank onto the foot of Lily’s bed. “Lily,” she said warningly.

“I’m sorry,” Lily said automatically. “I’m nervous, mum.

“Darling, you’re not the one getting married,” Mrs Evans said with a wry smile. “Just enjoy yourself. It’s a beautiful day, you’ve invited a beautiful boy, and your beautiful mother is getting impatient.”

Grudgingly, Lily turned back to the mirror and finished applying her makeup, then turned to the mint-green dress splayed out on her bedspread. “Thanks for the chat, mum,” she said, kissing her mother on the cheek.

“Oh, dear, before you get dressed,” Mrs Evans said, stopping in the doorway. “I have something for you.”

Lily raised an eyebrow. “The advice was enough, thanks.”

With another smile, Mrs Evans unclasped the green pendant that hung around her neck. “Wear this. It matches your eyes.”

Lily raised a hand to cover the stone resting below her collarbone. “Thank you,” she said, touched. Her mother gave her a small smile before leaving, shutting the door softly behind her. Lily lifted her dress from where she had laid it out on the bed, slipping it over her head. The soft fabric fell to her knees, and she tied a matching sash around her natural waistline. She slid her feet into brown flats, then admired herself in the full-length mirror. A quick swipe of lip gloss, a brush of mascara, and she was ready.

In the living room, one of her aunts had cornered James. “...I thought Lily said her school was all-girls,” she was saying.

“It is,” Lily interrupted smoothly. “James goes to the brother school nearby. We meet up for dances and the like. You know how it is,” she said, smiling knowingly at her aunt.

“Of course, dear,” her aunt said. “Petunia’s arranged such a lovely affair, don’t you think? Have you seen the dress?” Before Lily could respond that no, she hadn’t been privy to that certain detail of the wedding, her aunt continued: “And when am I going to be back here for _your_ wedding, eh, Lily?” She winked at James, who promptly turned bright red.

“I—we haven’t—I don’t—”

Lily placed a hand on his arm, placid smile back on her face. “Aunt Violet, why don’t you check on Petunia? You know how stressed she gets, you always manage to calm her down...”

“Of course, dear,” her aunt said again, winking again. “I’ll see you at the reception.”

Pursing her lips, Lily turned to James. “I don’t know how much of this I can stand.”

“You’re doing wonderfully,” James replied, his face beginning to return to normal. “I would have blown up _something_ by now.”

“Believe me, it’s crossed my mind.” Lily glanced around. “I suppose since I’m not going to the church with the wedding party, we can go whenever.”

“Are you sure?” James asked, his eyebrows coming together in a frown. “I’m sure your sister would let you at least ride in the car with her.”

“And risk setting fire to the bouquet?” Lily gave a short, bitter laugh. “I doubt she’ll even let me into her dressing room when we get there. Shall we Apparate?”

“I don’t know where we’re going,” James admitted.

Lily frowned. “Neither do I, actually.” She sighed. “And I don’t have a car. I suppose we’ll have to ride with my cousins, then.” She squared her shoulders. “Whatever they say, ignore them. Please.”

 

***

 

“So, James,” Lily’s cousin Veronica was cooing. “Where is it you go to uni?”

James, looking very uncomfortable, looking pleadingly at Lily. “The brother school to St. Ethel’s,” she supplied dully.

“Ugh, those kinds of schools really bug me out,” Poppy said, making a face. “Hey, Lil, did you see Tuney’s hair? It was absolutely _gorgeous—_ I want mine just like it!”  
“I didn’t,” Lily said, her eyes trained back on the road outside. She had elected to ride shotgun beside her eldest cousin, Daisy. James had ended up wedged in between Veronica and Poppy, who were arguing over him as if he wasn’t there.

“Don’t be rude,” Veronica snapped. “James goes to one of those schools.”

“I wasn’t!” Poppy said. “I said they bug _me_ out, not him!”

Daisy leaned over and turned up the radio louder, strains of _Dear Prudence_ washing through the car in an attempt to drain out her sisters.

“Oi—are these the Beatles?” James asked loudly, over the music and bickering girls.

Lily raised an eyebrow, still not looking away from the window. “Yes,” she said. “How’d you guess?”

“Moo—Remus really likes them,” he said awkwardly.

Poppy and Veronica finally quieted down, and the rest of the ride passed in a rather uncomfortable silence, with Veronica staring at James out of the corner of her eye. When Daisy finally pulled into a spot out front, Lily practically threw herself out of the car. While her cousins went in to get good seats, she leaned against the car door and took a few steadying breaths.

“I’m sorry I brought you,” she said finally to James, who was hovering awkwardly. “My family situation is...well, weird. I didn’t mean to make you sit through all of this. I’m sorry.”

“I’m not,” he said fiercely. “Lily, I love you, and I wouldn’t want you to have to do this alone.”

Lily looked up suddenly. “Y-you do?”

“Er—yes.” He ran a hand through his hair. “I—I mean, if you don’t, I can take it back. Hell, let me _Obliviate_ you. This was a bad idea.”

Laughing, Lily put a hand on his chest. “James, don’t. I love you too.”

“You do?”

“I do.”

She kissed him, outside the church where her sister would soon be married, where James and Vernon would soon fight, but not where she would get married. She would be married in the Wizarding World, without her muggle family around. But more on that later.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Quality over quantity, guys. I'm sorry it's been so long, I really am! I just don't want to have to bullshit it, when I post I want QUALITY. I hope you can understand :P Happy New Year!!!! Here's to 2016.


	30. Something Blue

CHAPTER THIRTY - Something Blue

 

There was panic in Petunia’s dressing room.

Lily and James were still sitting on the steps outside of the church, watching various friends and relatives file in past them, chatting amiably. The two sat in comfortable silence, soothed by each others’ presence. Despite the chatter around them and the crisp March breeze, Lily felt tranquil for the first time since she’d arrived home.

This air of peace was quickly shattered by Mrs Evans, scurrying over to the couple in her tottering high heels, trying desperately not to twist an ankle. Lily stood quickly, and James followed suit.

“What’s wrong?” the redhead asked immediately.

“Petunia’s veil—it’s torn, and she tried to sew it but it only made it worse—now Yvonne is sobbing, her makeup’s running, and Sophie is trying to fix it, but Petunia’s shut herself into the loo and won’t come out—”

“I’ll fix it,” Lily interrupted. “I’ll be right back,” she said to James. “Go on in, save me a seat.” She kissed him quickly on the lips before following her mother around the church to the room where Petunia and her bridesmaids were getting ready.

The three bridesmaids were on the verge of panic, breathing deeply or compulsively touching up their makeup. Upon Lily’s arrival Sophie gasped, Jessica’s eyes widened behind her mascara brush, and Vernon’s sister Marge hardly glanced up from her magazine with a pitbull on the cover. The maid of honor, Yvonne, pursed her lips.

“She in here, then?” Lily asked briskly, pointing towards the closed door behind Sophie.

Yvonne and Jessica glanced at each other. “She won’t want to see you,” Yvonne said, almost apologetically.

Lily sighed. “She’ll have to. I learned...uh...embroidery at school. I can fix it.”

Jessica sneered. “Embroidery? Really?”

Lily folded her arms and glared her Head Girl glare, tilting her head and raising her eyebrows. It was a look that had quelled many second year Marauder wannabes, and several Marauders on occasion. Jessica and Yvonne didn’t stand a chance. They scurried aside, busying themselves quickly so as to avoid her eyes.

The redhead didn’t even bother knocking, but silently cast an _Alohamora,_ unlocking the door and stepping inside the bathroom, shutting the door behind her.

Petunia’s head snapped up. The bride-to-be was sitting on the closed toilet, her face stony, her torn veil in her lap. “How did you get in here?” She said, her voice hoarse.

“Magic,” Lily deadpanned.

Petunia flinched. “Did Mum send you, then?”

“She did,” the younger girl admitted. “But I would have come even if she hadn’t. Give me the veil.”

Petunia gripped it so tightly her knuckles turned as white as her dress. “I won’t let you ruin it.” Her eyes slid to the closed door. “I won’t have my friends knowing about you...your _secret.”_

Lily sighed, realizing that Yvonne and Jessica were probably listening at the door. She pulled out her wand, cleverly hidden in her magically expanded clutch, well aware of Petunia shrinking back against the wall behind her. “ _Muffliato,”_ she muttered, turning back to her sister. “They can’t hear us now,” she said gently. “Tuney, give me the veil. I can fix it.”

“H-how did you do that?” Petunia asked. Lily was suddenly struck by the memory of Petunia’s letter to Dumbledore, begging to be accepted to Hogwarts. She felt a lump in her throat, a pang of regret, or loss, or grief. She wasn’t sure. “And d-don’t say m-magic.”

Lily crouched down on the tiled floor, so her sister, still perched on her porcelain throne, was taller than her. “I learned it,” she said softly. “At school. It makes a sort of buzzing in people’s ears, to drown out our sound. It’s not the most perfect spell, I think Sev was trying to perfect it for a while—”

“Don’t talk about him,” Petunia snapped.

Lily blinked. “I’m sorry,” she said. “He—he hurt me too.”

“I know,” Petunia said. “I know he did. When you came home that summer, he came to call at least ten times. He couldn’t take a hint, Lily. I turned him away again and again, and I told him—” she took a breath. “I told him that if you didn’t want to see him—you, the most loving and forgiving person I know—he must have done something truly terrible.” She lowered her gaze. “He didn’t come around again.”

Tears were shining in Lily’s eyes. “Y-you did? Tuney, I—”

“Stop,” Petunia said. “It was over a year ago. It doesn’t matter anymore.” Her shoulders slumped in resignation, and she held out the veil. “Fix it. Please.”

Lily took the torn fabric from her, running it through her fingers. _“Reparo,”_ she said, moving her wand along the tear. It stitched itself where the tip of her wand passed, each half knitting itself together to become whole once more. Once she had finished Lily looked back up at her sister, who was looking determinately up at the ceiling. “I’ve finished,” she said. Petunia lowered her eyes to look at her.

“Thanks,” she said finally, taking the veil back. “You should head back. That boyfriend of yours is probably waiting.”

Lily smiled. “That fiancé of yours is probably waiting for you.” She thought she saw her sister pale slightly, but when she stood, she was as composed and statuesque as always. “I’ll see you at the reception, I suppose.” After a moment’s hesitation, she leaned forward and hugged Petunia, giving her a light kiss on the cheek. “I love you, Tuney.”

Petunia simply nodded, looking slightly queasy.

Lily decided to give her elder sister a moment alone to compose herself, and excused herself from the bathroom. Yvonne and Jessica had been conferring in whispered tones, and both looked up to stare as Lily shut the door softly behind her. “She’ll be out in a moment,” she said. “Just finishing up. The veil’s fixed, by the way. Good as new. Nice to see you, Sophie. Marge.” At the sound of her name the large woman’s head jerked up, her small eyes glaring furtively around before disappearing once more behind her magazine. Lily smothered a laugh before swanning out of the dressing room, finding her mother waiting in the parking lot outside.

James was nowhere to be seen, either inside saving her a seat or lurking under the invisibility cloak somewhere. Lily hoped it was the former. Upon the sight of her younger daughter, Mrs Evans breathed a visible sigh of relief. “Everything taken care of, then?” she asked hopefully. “I don’t want to go back in there if the tension is thicker than butter again.”

Lily smiled, pecking her mother on the cheek. “Everything’s fine. They’re happily coexisting, Yvonne and Jessica gossiping, Sophie drinking from her flask and hoping no one notices, and Marge is—well, a dog-obsessed pig.”

“Everything is as it should be,” Mrs Evans said, winking at Lily. “What did that woman ever do to you, Lily?”

Lily pouted, patting her hair. “She once told me I looked like a tomato.”

“Oh, but a very pretty tomato.” Mrs Evans kissed Lily’s hair, then smoothed the spot where her lips had touched. “Go on in then, Lily. You’ve landed yourself someone really special.”

Lily grinned. “I know.”

 

***

 

James was waiting for her inside, thankfully _not_ under the invisibility cloak. He had snagged two seats near the aisle, “in case a great escape becomes necessary”.

Vernon was already up front, his arms crossed in front of him, the back of his thick neck bright red. Lily could just imagine the impatience running through his mostly-blubber brain. The best man fidgeted besides him, looking distinctly uncomfortable.

“Do you remember how surprised I was Snape hardly came around the summer after fifth year,” Lily began, turning to James.

James squinted, trying to recall. “Vaguely. You didn’t answer any of my owls.”

“I was mad,” Lily said airily, waving a hand. “It was justified. Anyway, apparently he _did_ come around. And Tuney...Petunia sent him packing.”

James’ eyebrows knit together. “Really.”

“I was surprised too,” Lily said, turning back towards the front. “I didn’t think he would be perturbed by Tuney just _yelling_ at him, but I suppose she _is_ rather intimidating, if you don’t know her well...and if you _do_ know her well, come to think of it...hell, I think _I’m_ a little scared of her...”

“Lil, there’s something I need to tell you.”

Lily’s heart skipped a beat. “You know,” she said, trying to keep her tone even, “That’s one of the most nerve-wracking sentences one could utter. So you better spit it out fast before we’re interrupted.”

“Well, if you’d read my owls fifth year, you’d probably know already, but...I sent Snape about ten Howlers that summer warning him off you. Sirius charmed some of them to sing the warning in a truly heinous operatic soprano that may or may _not_ have been recorded from Pete in the shower...”

Lily sighed, her heart resuming to its normal pace. “I _know,_ James,” she said, clasping his hand in hers. “I could hear them.”

James frowned. “What? You could?”

“You know, I wouldn’t be surprised if that _were_ Peter,” Lily said thoughtfully. “He always could hit those high notes in the school song.”

“How did you know they were from me?”

Lily rolled her eyes, leaning over to kiss him gently. “Who else would send two Howlers a day on my behalf?”

James seemed about to protest, or perhaps to just kiss her back, but just then the doors to the church opened and there was Lily’s youngest cousin, Rosie, carrying a basket of flower petals—petunias, Lily knew them to be—and looking thoroughly adorable in a salmon-pink frock. She was followed by Jessica, Sophie, and Marge, the latter looking unfortunately pig-like in the bright pink dress, which was actually quite tasteful on Jessica and Sophie, but just looked shapeless on Lily’s soon-to-be sister-in-law. She was torn between shuddering in horror and feeling sorry for the woman. Yvonne was next, her baby-blue dress standing out among the sea of pink.

Finally came Petunia, her blonde hair twisted up elegantly and her magically mended veil hanging delicately over her face. Her bouquet was dripping with white petunia flowers and pale pink roses. She was assisted by Mrs Evans brother, Lily’s uncle Dogwood.

Petunia was positively radiant. Even the best man stopped staring at Yvonne to watch. Lily suddenly became aware that not only was she holding her breath, but there were tears in her eyes. She brushed them away quickly before anyone noticed.

Evidently James had, as he gave her hand (still entangled with his own) a quick squeeze.

Tears snaked their way down her cheeks as Petunia and Vernon exchanged vows, then rings. She leaned her head against James’ shoulder as her sister suddenly belonged to someone else.

 

***

 

_Dear Padfoot,_

_I don’t think anyone’s family can compare to yours, but Evans’ is RIDICULOUS. I say that in ALL CAPITAL LETTERS for a reason, mate. Just a few things I observed during the reception:_

_1) Uncle Dogwood drinks too much. You’d like him._

_2) Found two bridesmaids snogging in a broom cupboard._

  1. _Found two groomsmen snogging in a broom cupboard. Incidentally, it was the same broom cupboard. And I had gone in to snog Lily. There must have been something in the water._



_4) The groom is a right prick. This needs to be expanded upon OUTSIDE a bullet point, so here is the soon-to-be-infamous story of How I Almost Came To Blows With Evans’ Sister’s Husband At His Own Wedding._

_So apparently on New Years Evans’ sister had “The Talk” with her fianc_ é _about how we’re real, witchcraft is evil, etc. He wasn’t too thrilled, our lovely Lily was thrown out of her own sister’s wedding procession, and we are understandable upset. At this reception, I was being PARTICULARLY gentlemanly (don’t snort, Remus, I was behaving perfectly) and went to get Lily a drink “preferably something alcoholic, James, I don’t think I can make it through this night sober”_ _—_ _have I mentioned how much I love this bird?_ _—_ _when I came across none other than the groom himself, large as the Giant Squid. Speaking of our old friend, we haven’t enchanted him yet this year_ _—_ _ideas?_

_Anyways, I was planning on just getting the drinks and leaving, but THEN I overheard Mr. Squid saying to one of his pudgy relatives, “Oh, that chap with Lily? With the messy hair? I’m not sure, but I heard he was some sort of amateur magician. Not too well off.”_

_As we all know, mates, I am ROLLING in gold. ROLLING in it. And amateur? Even at Muggle magic, I’m a fucking god. What Merlin was to our magic, I am to Muggle magic. And this asshole_ _—_ _who looks like a pig, by the way_ _—_ _has the gall to call me AMATEUR?_

_Then I realized, you know, I’m the bigger man. Not physically, of course, I think only Hagrid has this bloke beat, and he’s half giant! I was going to let it slide. But THEN. THEN. I see Lily. Standing in front of the pig/squid. Demanding he apologize. To me! Excuse me while I grin like an utter idiot. I handed her her drink and told her it didn’t matter, Conjured a coin from behind the squid/pig’s ear, and figured that was that. BUT NO._

_“I bet you think you’re so clever,” Pigsquid sneered. “You know, I suspected from the moment I laid eyes on you that you were high. One of those hippie types, always smoking God-knows-what...”_

_“Now, now, mate,” I said cheerfully (though not because I was high on illicit substances_ _—_ _because I found Squidpig rather amusing) “I’m not a Hufflepuff. No need to patronize.”_

_Lily dislikes it when I make fun of the badgers, so she elbowed me, but Vernon had the grace to screw up his face in confusion (looking like a real asshole in the process, I might add) and demand loudly, “What the hell is a Hufflepuff?”_

_“Nothing for a Muggle like yourself to concern yourself with.”_

_I have nothing against Muggles of course; if their taste in card tricks is anything to go off, I’d say they’re a right good lot. I mean, they produced our lovely Lily! But the Squid-Pig Hybrid seemed to think I was insulting him, and lunged for me. I managed to elude him_ _—_ _thank you, nine years of Quidditch practice!_ _—_ _and Lily dragged me away before I could retaliate. Well, in her words, “before you got your ass kicked, you prat, you’re possibly the skinniest person I’ve ever seen!”_

_I could have held my own._

_Now Lily’s mum says that we have to go out on a double-date dinner, to “patch things up”. Merlin help me if I ever join this family. Apparently having a honeymoon is too frivolous for Mr. and Mrs. Dursley, so our dinner will be tomorrow evening. Wish me luck._

_Prongs_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> What's that? A relatively FAST update from me? WHAT a concept! I finally had time over the long weekend to get this AND half of chapter 31 done! Now, if you've read Pottermore, you know whats coming next. THAT disastrous double date is outlined over there, but you'll get to hear about it from ME soon enough. Also, while I have a captive audience, you should check out my one-shot! It started out Jily and...got away from me. It's still Jily, just not AS MUCH as I'd initially expected. Have a link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/5727358
> 
> Remember to review! I want lots of feedback to make this even better!
> 
> Also, there's your AVPM reference. Props if you get it! ;)
> 
> Love,
> 
> Alys xoxo


	31. My Other Car is a Broom

CHAPTER THIRTY-ONE: _My Other Car is a Broom_

The restaurant was fancier than Lily had been expecting; no doubt Vernon was aiming to impress and intimidate. She was loathe to admit it, but he was succeeding.

Lily turned quickly to James and straightened his tie, more out of something to do than because it was crooked. "You know those pompous formal pureblood affairs you always complain about?"  
"Yes?"

Lily exhaled, wheeling around to face the door. "This is going to be worse. Much worse." Steeling herself, she pushed the door open and led her boyfriend into the restaurant. The woman behind the counter looked up at her as she approached. "Reservation for four, under Dursley?"

The hostess nodded. "They're already here. Come with me."

Lily swore under her breath, following her. "We were supposed to be _early._ How did they get here before us? It's not fair."

"Relax," James said rationally. "This can't be that bad."

"You were the one panicking not thirteen hours ago," Lily said. "And he was in a _good_ mood at the wedding, trust me."

James hissed in air through his teeth. "That was a good mood? He almost hit me!"

Lily nodded sharply, not looking back at him.

"Well... if it goes badly, we can Obliviate them."

The Head Girl shook herself. "Jokes," she said. "I remember those." James took her hand quickly, and she felt her pulse slowing. She exhaled. "Sorry. Everything'll be fine."

"You're late."

They had reached the table, and Petunia did not seem pleased. Lily slid into a seat next to her sister, leaving James to awkwardly sit down next to Vernon.

"Sorry," Lily said. "We were a bit held up." She found it easiest not to argue with Petunia. "You looked lovely," she said, trying to smile. "At the wedding, I mean. I never talked to you after—well, the thing in the bathroom."

Petunia didn't look amused. Whatever Lily had thought had changed between them had clearly vanished after James and Vernon's spat at the wedding reception. "Thank you," she said, through a tight-lipped smile that was clearly forced.

James fiddled with his tie, clearly uncomfortable at being choked by Muggle fashion. "Shall I order us some wine?" he offered.

Petunia gave a simpering laugh. "You're both seventeen, aren't you?"

"Er..." James and Lily glanced at each other.

"You're underage, then," she said. "I know _your kind_ come of age at seventeen, but really, Lily. We're in a civilised restaurant."

Lily swallowed. "Right. I'm sorry." She lifted her glass of ice water to her lips, anxious for something to do. She then lifted her menu and pretended to be engrossed in the many ways their chef would prepare chicken.

"So. James," Vernon began, clearing his throat and lifting his own glass. "What kind of car do you drive?"  
James glanced at Lily, a panicked expression crossing his face for an instant before being replaced with his easy-going facade. "Er," he said awkwardly. "Well, it's, er. Smooth. Nice wooden paneling. Bristles out the back. Name stamped on the handle in golden letters, I'm quite proud of it actually."

Vernon's face had contorted in a mixture of anger and confusion.

"He doesn't drive," Lily said quickly, sensing a disaster on the horizon. "Wiz—er, that is, we use other modes of transport. James here," she patted his hand, "Prefers a broom. Nimbus...what is it, 1000?"

"1001," James said with a wry smile. "Got the latest model for Christmas, actually." He tipped his chair back a little so it teetered on its back legs, before he quickly lowered back to the ground at a glare from Lily.

"Brooms," Vernon scoffed. Petunia looked worried. "What next, flying carpets?"

"Those were outlawed in the late 1800s," James said. "Too many accidents. Too noticeable." He shrugged. "What can you do? Personally, I think they need to be replaced. Flying cars aren't a half-bad suggestion, if you ask me."

Vernon began to splutter, spittle landing on the dishes in front of him. Lily quickly took another sip of her water to keep it out of the splash zone. "Flying—cars don't _fly_ —Petunia—"

Lily's sister raised a finger, calling the waiter to their table and interrupting what could have potentially been another dangerous situation. While she ordered, Vernon's face returned to its usual color—which, while not altogether flattering, was a step up from 'hideous puce'.

Realizing she hadn't actually examined the menu, and had instead been repeating the word 'shallots' in her head over and over, Lily quickly ordered the first thing her eyes landed on, which ended up being some sort of French quiche.

Once the waiter had departed with their orders and a request for two glasses of Chardonnay (which Vernon had ordered while staring smugly in James' direction), Vernon tugged at his cuffs and said, "I hope you'll agree to split the bill. That is, if you have the money...I suppose all of your lot must live off unemployment benefits."

James' glasses flashed in the candlelight, and Lily could feel the waves of anger radiating off of him. "Actually, we have a bank," he said shortly. "Called Gringotts. In it, I'm the heir to a small fortune in solid gold. So if it's too much of a stretch for you, dinner's on me."

"Are you making fun of me?" Vernon demanded. To Lily's disappointment, the puce seemed to be returning. She wondered absently if he had a problem with blood pressure.

"Of course not," she began soothingly. "James just m-meant there's nothing you need to worry about. We can pay for our half."

Vernon let out a grunt, apparently satisfied.

The two couples waited in awkward silence for the food to arrive, with Petunia taking small sips of her wine every few seconds. Lily cast around desperately for conversation topics, her eyes finally landing on a small fern in the corner and was reminded of the one she had planned to buy Petunia for a housewarming present.  
"How's the new house?" She asked, smoothing her dress and adjusting the napkin in her lap. "Do the neighbors seem nice?"

Petunia sniffed. "Mrs. Figg seems nice enough, but she has far too many cats. And she won't stop talking about them either—when she brought us a fruitcake as a house-warming present, she stayed for nearly twenty minutes!"

"Very impertinent," Vernon grunted. "But not horrible, as people go." His eyes, Lily noticed, darted to James for a moment, before landing back on the bottle of Chardonnay.

James was frowning, and seemed about to speak when Petunia continued, "But the couple across the street never even came to greet us! It was incredibly rude, but _I_ won't bring it up at the garden party we're throwing next week."

"A garden party?" Lily inquired politely, dropping her napkin in her lap and clasping her hands over it. "That sounds lovely."

Petunia and Vernon exchanged pursed-lipped glances. "Yes, it should be," the elder girl said primly. "We've invited several people from Vernon's work—tell them what it is you do, darling, go on..."

Vernon puffed out his chest, threw a superior look at James, and proceeded to bore the two Hogwarts students to tears with pompous descriptions of the inner workings of a drill company named Grunnings.

"How...fascinating," Lily said faintly when her brother-in-law finally paused to draw breath. "They're lucky to have you, Vernon."

His watery eyes seemed to narrow, trying to decipher whether or not this was sarcasm or not, but Lily was saved by the arrival of their dinner. She had lost her appetite during the truly heinous excuse for conversation, and instead pushed food around on her plate as James Vanished parts of it under the table.

"So, James," Vernon began between bites of some sort of roast meat, "You say you've got a small fortune. What do your parents do?"

James paused, his mouth full. His eyes slid to Lily, who quickly intervened. "They're Aurors," she said. "Dark Wizard catchers. It...it pays well." She truthfully had no idea how much being an Auror paid, only that James was the heir to a hair-care potion empire, not a pair of Wizarding policemen.

"Dark?" Petunia said, her eyes widening.

"Relax, Petunia, darling," Vernon said, frowning. " _Their_ people couldn't possibly harm us. We've got the military, and I bet no crackpot spell could best some of our best guns."

A muscle was working in James' cheek, and Lily could sense disaster brewing. "How about dessert?" She tried brightly, but James had already started talking.

"You _are_ in danger," he said in a low voice. "Hate to be the one to break this to you, but if Voldemort came across you in a dark alley—hell, even a well-lit alley, he wouldn't hesitate to kill you. Lily's the one in the most danger here, but Muggles like yourself are just target practice to him—"

"Are you _threatening me?"_ Vernon thundered, rising to his feet. They had attracted the stares of many other patrons of the restaurant. "I will not stand here and be menaced by some fool who thinks a stick is a weapon!"

Petunia stood beside him, laying a hand on his arm. "I think it's best we headed home," she said coolly. "Thank you for dinner." The two exited, Vernon still blustering, leaving Lily and James shell-shocked behind them.

Several moments of silence passed before the other customers turned back to their meals, and the waiters scurried to the table to clear Vernon and Petunia's dishes, leaving the check.

"That could have gone better," James said, turning to Lily. To his horror, there were tears in her eyes. "Oh, Merlin, Lily, I'm sorry. This is my fault, I provoked him—come on—"

Lily wiped her eyes on the corner of her napkin. "I sh-should have known it would end like this," she said, trying to calm herself. "D-don't blame yourself. God, this was a n-nightmare." She let out a watery chuckle. "At least I don't have to listen to anymore about _Grunning's most fabulous drill_ or _this expensive cocktail shrimp we'll be serving at our next party."_ But this seemed to only upset her further, as the tears came more heavily now. "I don't know when I'll see her next," she said, horrified.

"Shh." James put his coat around her shoulders and escorted her outside. "C'mon. If it's any consolation, all of that food I Vanished from your plate, I sent to Petunia's purse."

Lily sniffed, blinking tears out of her eyes and nodding. "Thank you," she said, leaning against him as he moved to hug her. "Thank you for coming. Thank you for filling my sisters purse with French quiche."

"Come on," he said again, stepping back and giving her shoulder a squeeze. "Let's get some Firewhiskey. The Three Broomsticks. My treat."

Lily dried her tears on the sleeve of James' coat. "Oh, no," she said, a small smile breaking through on her face. "You paid for dinner. Drinks are on me."

"Well, then, I won't argue with that." He offered his arm. "Shall we, Miss Evans?"

She took it, smiling up at him. "How could I refuse, Mr. Potter?"

They disappeared in a swirl, a faint _pop_ the only reminder that they had ever been there.

***

The bar was crowded but not unusually so; Lily and James snagged a booth near the frosted window, their flushed faces illuminated in the flickering candlelight. Despite the warmth and crackling fire, Lily could still smell the sharpness of the snow. She raised a hand and traced a small smiley face in the frost on the windowpane as James waved Rosmerta over.

Rosmerta was only a few years older than them, the witch having graduated while they were in their third year. She had always liked the Marauders, offering them her bar to hide out if they were ever caught in the village after curfew. James was always proud to say she was his first true love, if only in an attempt to get free butterbeer.

"Hello, Rosie," Lily said, smiling at the older witch. "How are you?"

"Oh, I'm fine," Rosmerta said, sighing and shifting her weight to one hip. "Did you two sneak out of the castle, then? Wouldn't be the first time for you, Mr. Potter, but Lily, I thought you were the good one!"

"We've gone home for Easter," James informed her. "As you can see, we're home right now."

Rosmerta raised her eyebrows. "I see. And I suppose you'd like some butterbeers delivered to your doorstep?"

"Make it two firewhiskies, and you've got a deal," James grinned.

"It's been a long evening," Lily said, leaning her head against the cold window. Something about the biting chill soothed her. "So long."

"I'll open a tab," Rosmerta said wisely, eyeing Lily. "Be right back." She marched off in a swirl of emerald robes, her glittering magenta heels clacking on the stone.

"I always liked that Rosie," James said, staring after her wistfully.

Smiling, Lily sat up straighter. "Oi! You're on a date with a _very_ fit bird right now, in case you've forgotten."

"Ah, I could never forget you, Lils." James tugged his wand out of his pocket and waved it absently across the table, changing the cloth from red and white checkered to bright blue and back. "Let's see...what shall we do while we wait?"

Lily sat up a bit straighter. "Have you been studying for your NEWTs? They're coming sooner than you think."

The wizard rolled his eyes. "Anything but that, Lily, I'm begging you."

She smirked. "Anything _but?_ Alright then...what was your childhood like?"

James raised an eyebrow. "Really? From NEWTs to my _childhood?"_

Lily shrugged. "It's a fair question."

Rosmerta returned with two bottles of Firewhiskey, the caps already removed. She winked as she set each one down, then asked, "Can I get you two anything to eat? Looks like it'll be a long night..."

"No thanks," Lily said, smiling . "We've just come from dinner."

"And what a bloody disaster it's been," James continued cheerfully. "Thanks, Rosie."

Rosmerta waved her hand. "Let me know when you need more." She returned to the bar, stopping only once to remove a half-empty glass from in front of a sleeping wizard several tables away. Lily watched her go, eyeing the sparkly heels and wondering if she ought to get herself a pair.

"Quiet and boring, mostly," James said suddenly.

Lily blinked. "Sorry?"

"My childhood," he said, as if they had been continuing their earlier discussion uninterrupted. "I'm an only child, as you know, and living in a manor alone gets boring."

"Didn't you have your parents? And house elves?" Lily ran a finger along the rim of her bottle, hesitant to take the first sip. Firewhiskey always burned the first time down.

James shrugged, raising the bottle to his lips and taking a swig before replying. "Doesn't really count, does it? Mum's great, but Dad was busy, and the house elves don't really keep good company. Though I did learn how to cook spectacularly, remind me to show you sometime."

"Duly noted," Lily said with a grin.

"How about yours?" he asked, gesturing at her with the hand that still clasped the bottle. "I know the basics: your sister was a bitch, Sniv— _Snape_ was an arse, and you were an angel."

Lily snorted. "Hardly. And call him whatever you want, I think he's made it quite clear he doesn't need me defending him. Anyways, before I turned nine and Severus told me I was a witch, Tuney and I were practically inseparable. She was my _idol,_ but I was the troublemaker."

James feigned shock. "You? Never!"

"Believe it," Lily giggled. "Remember that crying trick I used on Madam Pomfrey a few months ago? Got me everywhere I am today. Petunia taught me how, actually. Something about method acting and dead puppies."

"That's horrible!"  
"Yes, well, I've progressed from dead puppies, thankfully. I spent a lot of time in drama classes, but was never the star. I played Orphan #3 in Oliver!"

James frowned. "Is that good?"

"For a six year old? Sure." Lily braced herself and took a sip. The firewhiskey scorched on its way down, but it warmed her to the tips of her fingers. "Thanks for agreeing to stay with me," she said abruptly. "I know my family's insane, but most of them will be clearing out, now Petunia's gone and moved in with Vernon..."

"Stay with me," he interrupted.

Lily blinked, her bottle frozen on its way to her mouth. "Hm?"

"Things have been hectic at your place. The manor's empty this time of year, I can get Sirius and the others to Floo in, we can have an Easter party."

"Oh no," Lily said automatically.

"What?"

Lily took another gulp of Firewhiskey. "Fifth year. The Forbidden Forest. Easter. Ring a bell?"

"Oh." James rolled his bottle between his hands. "This will be different. Absolutely no skrewts."

"Can you really promise that, though?" Lily asked. "I mean, skrewts are known gate-crashers. If I find so much as a _stinger_ hiding in an egg, James, I swear on Merlin's longest beard hair, I will hex you."

James raised his hands in surrender, nearly slopping Firewhiskey down his front. "Alright, Evans! No blast-ended skrewts for you."

"Thank you."

"I'll stick to Doxies, then."

"You prat!"

* * *

A/N

Hi there! Long time no see :)

I've been busy. Watching Smallville, not doing my homework, reading comic books...oh! And I got really into this awesome Harry Potter RP site! It's called Accio Nox, here's a link: you should REALLY check it out, it's awesome! You RP classes and conversations and get to really in-depth create a character. When you make one, hmu, I'm on there as alysrose.

Next time on TR100: Sirius, Remus, Peter and Marlene floo in!

Anyways I'm super Jewish so any tips on what the hell Easter entails would be helpful. I do a lot of research but I kinda draw the line there, so...any help would be appreciated.

Love you all!  
Alys xxx


	32. Dear Sirius

CHAPTER THIRTY-TWO: Dear Sirius

 

_Dear Sirius,_

_Happy almost-Easter! I’ve spent the first several days of the holidays having a dreadful time at my house with my sister. I’m sure James already wrote you about the wedding, but if he didn’t, here’s a quick recap:_

_\- Petunia’s friends are dull_

_\- Vernon is a prick_

_Yes, I think that covered just about everything. We had to double date with them, if you can believe. Vernon went on and on about his dull job, and the dull Muggles that work with him, and the dull car he drives. Then he went to ask James about his life, in the most POMPOUS way possible, and thought James was mocking him, and I’m not entirely sure he wasn’t! It was an absolute nightmare. James keeps trying to think up ways to anonymously get back at them, but nothing so far has seemed un-vindictive OR anonymous. I don’t think setting off fireworks in their hearth would send much of a message, would it? (Here James yells, ‘it would if it spelled out Y-O-U A-S-S-H-O-L-E-S’ and I promptly ignore him). I had an idea of my own, though—I heard you have a motorbike; you should probably drive by his and Petunia’s house a few times. It’d give him a heart attack!_

_Anyways, we’ll be at the Potter Manor for the rest of the hols. For some reason Potter’s seen fit to have me stay in your room. Something about the other being booby-trapped. Though I wouldn’t put it past you two, I somehow doubt that’s the case. Those pictures of Muggle girls on your walls are nice, by the way. But the blonde one in the black bikini is staring into my soul, Sirius. I don’t know how you can stand her._

_Mr Potter is so sweet! I can see why you love living here so much. I met him once before, at Christmas, but I love him. It’s almost like he could be a second father to me, seeing as I’ve gone and lost my first one...I don’t know why I just wrote that. I suppose if anyone could understand gaining a new family in the Potters, it’d be you._

_You should come round for Easter, it won’t be much fun all alone. I also suspect that James misses you terribly, so if you lot could just floo in whenever, I’m sure he’d be thrilled. I know it’s technically against the rules, but it’s not like that’s ever stopped you before! You’d better catch me up on all the Hogwarts gossip I’ve missed, by the way; it’s not like me to go this long without a good healthy dose. Tell Frank I say hello! I know he’s a Hufflepuff, but you must see him sometime._

_Write back quickly! Hope to see you soon._

_Lots of love,_

_Lily_

 

***

 

_Padfoot,_

_Remember those plans for the exploding Easter eggs? I need them. Floo over here and bring the eggs. Also, the ones that change your skin color for two hours? Those too. You know what, bring the whole bunch, we’ll celebrate Easter in style. Lily invited you, didn’t she? She said she would. In case you opened my letter first (which you better have, you prat) here’s the deal: floo over for Easter. Bring everyone. Well, not the Slytherins. Maybe ditch the weirder Hufflepuffs and boringer Ravenclaws._

_I might need to mail a hex to Lily’s new brother-in-law, so any ideas would be welcome. Tell Wormtail to bring all that firewhiskey he’s been hiding under his bed. I know it’s only two days before THAT TIME OF THE MONTH, but if Moony wants to come despite his FURRY LITTLE PROBLEM he’s always welcome._

_Dad’s going to be out on some sort of business meeting on Easter, so the manor’ll be empty. Come round anytime, it’s not like you have anything better to do. I bet McGonagall misses me something horrible, doesn’t she? Of course she does. Hurry up and respond, you prat, Easter’s soon. Merlin, speaking of Dad, he loves Lily so much I think he might just stick around to see her. He keeps hinting to me about what a wonderful daughter she’d make, and even tried to give me Nana’s old ring! I can’t take it anymore!_

_End my eternal suffering,_

_Prongs_

_***_

The Easter holidays at Hogwarts were always boring. There weren’t any Quidditch matches, since so many of the players went home, and with 1/4 of the Marauders gone, pranks were easier to trace back to their perpetrators. At least during Christmas there were feasts, and if there was one thing Sirius loved, it was copious amounts of food.

“The kitchens at midnight. That’s one I haven’t seen before.”

Well, copious amounts of food and Remus Lupin.

“I’m _eating,”_ Sirius said, pointing rather obviously to the pile of chocolate-or egg-related food items in front of him. “The house elves made too much.”

“I’m sure.” Remus sat down next to him, reaching out to take a small chocolate egg.

Sirius slapped his hand away. “Hey,” he said reproachfully through a mouthful of chocolate _something._ “Get your own.” He slid two letters across the wooden tabletop towards the werewolf. “Prongs and Evans wrote. We’re wanted at Potter Manor.”

“Excellent,” Remus said, barely glancing at the parchments.

Sirius snorted.

“What is it?”

“Eggs-cellent,” Sirius said, picking up a foil-wrapped chocolate egg. “Get it? EGG-cellent?”

Remus fought off a smile. “I get it, you prat. Where are you going to floo from? I think there are spells around the fire in the common room, but I’ll have to check.”

“Hang on.” Sirius pointed a finger (belonging to a hand still holding a half-eaten chocolate bunny) at him. “Why’d you say ‘you’?”

“Well,” Remus began, looking concernedly at the chocolate bunny that seemed to only be missing its head, “Easter’s only a day before the full moon, isn’t it?”

Sirius shrugged. “Two days and some change, actually. We’ll be there and back before Dumbledore even knows we’re gone. You’ll be fine, Moony.” He waved a hand. “Where’s Wormtail, by the way? It’s not like him to pass up a trip to the kitchens.”

Remus smiled. “Sleeping. Not everyone is awake at midnight like you, Padfoot.”

“And you, apparently.” Sirius slid him a slice of chocolate pie. “Here. The house elves asked me to give my expert opinion on this pie. I told them the only problem was that there wasn’t _enough_ of it, but apparently that wasn’t specific.”

The prefect picked up a fork and took a small bite. “It’s good,” he said finally. “Not enough chocolate, if you ask me.”

Sirius rolled his eyes.

“Isn’t chocolate poisonous for dogs, anyway?” Remus asked dryly, his eyes roving over the piles of discarded chocolate wrappers.

In response, Sirius chucked a small wrapped egg at Remus’ head.

“We’ll floo over tomorrow,” Remus said decisively. “See if James needs any help setting up.”

Sirius shook his head emphatically, swallowing all the chocolate in his mouth before speaking. “Mr Potter always hides the eggs. It’s a tradition.”

Remus picked up the letter from Prongs again and scanned the list of required items. “Exploding Eggs...color-changing yolks...tell Wormtail to bring the whole box of trick eggs from last year, would you?”

“Why can’t you tell him?”

“I’m on patrols.” Remus grinned. “Can’t you tell?”

Sirius snorted. “So responsible. Aren’t you going to dock points?”

“I think you’re fine,” the young werewolf said. “But your chocolate habit is dangerous. I’m serious, it’s poison for dogs.”

Sirius hurled another chocolate egg at Remus, who pretended to cower and laughed.

“I should be going,” Remus said, after a few minutes of a chocolate war. They were fortunate that the house elves had vacated this part of the kitchens. “Go to bed soon, alright? And lay off the sugar. You’re hyper enough as is.”

Sirius grinned, almost wolflike. “Anything for you, love.”

 

***

 

_Dear Sirius,_

_You need to come home. Mr Potter is dead._

_Lily_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember how I promised Easter-funtimes?
> 
> Hah. Hahahaha. I'm sorry. They will come, I promise! They will. After a fashion. Anyways, we all know that all of James and Lily's parents need to be dead by October 1981. I've basically got a hitlist, and Mrs Evans is next. I cannot say when, though...
> 
> Anyways. I'm trying to come up with more short stories, since we're nearing the end of TR100 (no, I can't say when it'll be over. I'm not exactly sure where I want to end it and where I want to have a separate epilogue—stay tuned!) so if you have any suggestions, shoot me a message!
> 
> Until next time, my lovelies!
> 
> Alys xoxo


	33. Join The Family

CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE: _Join The Family_

Sirius and Peter arrived late that night, with bags full of everything James had requested. Chocolate, prank eggs, the works. Remus brought up the rear with Professor Dumbledore, who apparently had Mr Potter's will. It was nearing midnight by the time the small group gathered in the Potter's library. Lily had lit the fireplace, and James sat in an armchair, staring into its depths.

Lily told Sirius that he hadn't moved since the letter had arrived from the Ministry.

Dumbledore conjured up another armchair calmly, placing it besides James and speaking to the boy in low tones, so the others couldn't hear. James didn't react.

"Do you know what happened?" Remus asked. The other four held court behind a bookshelf, giving the Headmaster and their friend privacy. "I mean...what did the letter say?"

Lily pulled a crumpled envelope out of her pocket. "Not much," she admitted. "Just that there had been a break-in, and Mr Potter had been in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Wait," Peter said, his eyes widening. "He—Mr Potter, he was _killed?"_

Lily glanced around, as if the walls might be bugged. "That's all it said," she whispered. "But it seems to imply that, yes, he was killed by Death Eaters. Why they'd want him dead, I have no idea."

"He was always prominent in the Ministry," Sirius mused. Lily was surprised he wasn't half as shell-shocked as James. Mr Potter had been like a father to him as well. She made a note to keep an eye on him, in case his grief manifested in destructive behavior. She had a feeling it might. "Very pro-Muggle and Muggleborn rights."

Remus frowned. "But he was pureblooded, and just a potioneer. He wasn't very attention-grabbing, you know?"

On the other side of the bookcase, there was the rustling of fabric, and Dumbledore appeared beside them. "If you would join us," he said graciously, drawing up four more chairs. "Mr Potter's will is very brief, and was only given to me because I am currently the authority in the young Mr Potter's life. Though I must return to Hogwarts, I have agreed to stay to sort out what I can." Dumbledore pulled a small roll of parchment from inside his robes, unfurled it, and began to read:

"On the event of my death, I, Fleamont Harold Potter, leave everything in my possession, including my Cloak of Invisibility, to my only son, James Fleamont Potter. I do this with the knowledge that he is, and will become, a man I am proud to call my son. After all, the last enemy to be destroyed is death." Dumbledore rolled the parchment up again and sighed. "A truly enlightened statement."

"I don't understand," Sirius said gruffly. "What does that mean? The last enemy?"  
A hint of a smile crossed the old man's face. "It means whatever you take it to mean, Mr Black." He stood, his deep purple robes swirling around him. "And now I must depart. Mr Pettigrew, Mr Lupin, because I feel you would disobey if I told you otherwise, you may remain in Potter Manor until the end of the holiday."

"What about me?" Sirius asked. "Don't make me go back, and let them all stay!"  
Lily chewed on her lower lip. This was what she had been afraid of.

"Mr Black, I was under the impression that you lived here." With a gentle smile, Dumbledore turned and left the room. The teenagers heard a faint _pop_ from the entryway, signifying his exit.

James still hadn't moved from the armchair. For once, Lily was at a loss for words. She thought back to her own father's death, and what she wished someone had said to her. But she had never lost both her parents in such quick succession.

Suddenly seized with the urge to write her mother, Lily stood abruptly, drawing the eyes of the other three Marauders (James was still staring determinedly into the fire). "I—I've left something upstairs," she said. "I'll just be a moment." She hurried from the room.

Lily had made it halfway up the marble stairs when she heard someone behind her call, "If you're leaving, I'll make your life a living hell."

She stopped, and turned slowly to face Sirius where he stood at the base of the staircase. "Do you really think so little of me?" she said coldly.

"When you run out like that, I don't know what to think of you." Sirius' face was contorted.

"I think," Lily began, and when he did not cut her off, she continued: "I think we need to sleep on it. Our emotions are muddled, and we're all exhausted. I'll even give you your room back." She would like to have smiled there, but couldn't bring herself to. Instead she turned and ascended the next few steps, but Sirius caught her wrist and she stopped once more, her frustration growing. "Look," she said, "I'd love to fight over James later, but can it _please_ wait?"

"That's not what I'm trying to do," Sirius said, scowling. "Can—can we just talk? Please?"  
Lily met his gaze evenly, measuring her patience. "Fine," she said. "Talk while I gather my things from your room." The two moved silently through the still house. The door to Sirius' room was slightly ajar, the sheets rumpled and slept-in. An open suitcase lay on the floor, several robes and jeans jumbled up inside. Lily quickly tossed the bra lying on the bed into the suitcase and kicked it shut, gathering up books she'd left on the end tables. "So," she said, beginning to stack her textbooks. "What did you want to talk about?"

"Joining this family."

Lily dropped her History of Magic textbook on her foot. She sucked in air, falling sideways onto the bed and clutching her toe. "Ow! I'm not bloody _proposing_ , you prat, so you'd better explain right now, or I swear to Merlin—"

"Not immediately!" Sirius said hastily, rescuing the dropped book. "Look." He sat down next to her on the bed, toying with the book's cover. "Whether you planned it or not, you're a part of this family. _This_ family. Me, Wormtail, Remus, and James. And now you. He doesn't have anyone else right now."

Lily hung her head. "I know. And I feel like I should have _some_ responsibility right now, but I have no idea what to do. How do you arrange a funeral? Who do you call? Bloody hell, we've been here all day—who knows where his b-body is..." her lips fumbled over the words, afraid she would offend him. But Sirius just nodded.

"Dumbledore will arrange it," he said. "He always does."

"How do you know?" Lily asked desperately. "I'm scared, Sirius."

"So am I." Sirius looked down, running his fingers over the leather binding of the textbook. "It's stupid, isn't it? We laugh and pretend we're so independent, but we have no idea what the hell we're doing."

Lily leaned against him, resting her head on his shoulder. "My mum always told me that no adult knows what they're doing. The whole lot of them, just faking their way through life."

"Seems pointless." Sirius sighed again, his shoulders moving a little under her head. "A lot seems pointless right now."

"We'll get through." Lily sat up, taking the book back from Sirius and shoving it in her suitcase, which she zipped shut. She then scooped up the rest of the books, grasping the case with the other hand. "I should go talk to him, shouldn't I? He stopped talking as soon as the letter came, and I went to write _you_ immediately."  
"Maybe," Sirius said glumly.

Lily paused in the doorway, wanting to say something inspiring, something that would make him realise that life was like this, and everyone eventually got through stronger than before. She wanted to tell him everything would be already.

But instead she just secured the books against her hips and continued down the hall.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! I know a lot of you were unhappy with where I decided to take this, and I'm sorry! But I'd actually intended for this to be less fluff than it ended up being, so this was in the works for a while. And I KNOW Jo says that Mr and Mrs Potter both died of dragon pox, but hey. Artistic License, I'm not JK Rowling! I could never be that awesome, hah. This chapter was supposed to be longer, but I'm splitting it up because I want you guys to have it so you don't hate me :P
> 
> Love as always!
> 
> Alys


	34. James and the Invisibility Cloak

CHAPTER THIRTY-FOUR: James and the Invisibility Cloak

After Dumbledore left with the promise to send a Patronus later with details about the funeral, Remus and Peter went to settle in to their guest rooms. This time they were located closer to James' room than the rooms they usually took when they stayed over.

In the time it took for Remus and Peter to leave the library and Sirius to return to it, James had somehow managed to slip under the invisibility cloak and vanish.

Lily held a meeting at one in the morning in the kitchen, pouring steaming mugs of tea as she braided thin strands of her hair nervously. "He could still be in the house," she said in a hushed whisper. "Or—or out at a pub, or fighting a dragon—"

Peter sighed, accepting a cup of chamomile from her. "He's not fighting a dragon, Lils," he said, taking a sip. "This could use more honey."

Lily's eye twitched, but she grabbed a jar of honey and placed it in front of him. "Maybe he's right here," she said, eyeing the empty stool by the bar next to Remus. She lunged forward suddenly, swiping a hand across the empty space.

"I think you need caffeine, rather than tea," Remus said worriedly. "Sh-shall I make coffee?"

Lily slumped against the oven, her fingers flying to her hair as she began yet another tiny plait. "I don't know," she muttered. "I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do..." she repeated it under her breath like a mantra, the mug of tea in front of her cooling off as she did.

Sirius, who had remained silent during Lily's manic tea-making, suddenly stood. Lily lurched to attention as well. "What is it?" she demanded.

"I think—" he stopped himself. "I think I might know where he is." He started towards the back door, Lily and Peter and Remus trailing after him. Peter brought his tea.

"Where we used to play Quidditch, out back."

Lily bit her lip, having finished braiding the strand of hair. "Are you sure he'd be playing Quidditch right now?"

"No," Sirius snapped. "But his dad taught him how to play, and it's the only thing I've got to go on right now."

Remus blinked. "He could still be in the library, though."

"Or his room," Peter volunteered.

"I still think he's Apparated Merlin-knows-where," Lily said sullenly.

Sirius threw his hands up exasperatedly. "Then let's split up! The funeral's tomorrow, he has to show his face somehow."

Lily was counting the braids in her hair (seven and a half) but paused at Sirius' outcry. "Splitting up is never a good idea," she said cautiously. "It's not safe out there..."

"Are you a Gryffindor or not?" Sirius said angrily. "You want to search the bloody whole of the United Kingdom, go right ahead. I won't stop you."

Lily narrowed her eyes, then turned on the spot and vanished with a faint pop.

Sirius sighed, running a hand through his hair. "I didn't mean to snap at her," he said, only half meaning it. He and Remus exchanged glances, and Remus headed back to the library. Peter went upstairs.

Sirius pushed open the doors to the sweeping lawns, illuminated only by the late-night glow of the moon. Makeshift Quidditch hoops stuck out of the grass, placed there years and years ago by a young James and his mother. Sirius remembered playing two-on-two Quidditch when they were all younger, Mr Potter playing referee. They were happier times, though not always. But the past had a way of always being cast in a golden light.

"James?" Sirius called. The great expanse of the Potter's grounds seemed still, as if frozen in time, but that didn't mean James wasn't there. "Are you out here?"

No response. Sirius continued across the lawn, his footsteps loud in his ears. He neared the center of the homemade pitch, turning in a slow circle. "Prongs, if you're here...I'm hurting too, you know. I need you." Sirius sank to his knees, the dew soaking into his robes. "Please, Prongs. Please come out."

No response.

Peter smoothed the covers on James' bed, fixing nonexistent wrinkles. Every time he moved his hands over the duvet, he expected to bump into something solid and invisible. But James wasn't there.

He'd first met Mr Potter on Platform 9 3/4, in June of first year. He'd gotten off the train with James and Sirius, trailing after the two of them while Remus lagged behind, wanting one more chocolate bar from the trolley. James had jumped off the train, waving at hollering at his parents, wanting to show them every bit of magic he'd already excelled in. Sirius had hung back at that point, having spotted his mother across the crowd.

James hugged Sirius before he went "to meet his fate", as he so grimly put it. Peter wanted to hug him too, but thought it might be weird. Also, Mrs Black was a real stickler, and Peter was afraid she wouldn't like it if Sirius were hugging someone who wasn't a pureblood. So he shook his friends hand, promising to write. He reminded Sirius that they couldn't send letters in Azkaban, and asked if he could please refrain from killing his mother during the summer holidays. This elicited a grin from Sirius, and a hearty laugh from Mr Potter, who Peter hadn't even realized had been listening.

Peter's entire face had flushed, and he had begun to stammer apologies. James quickly introduced his father to Peter and Remus, and Mr Potter had shaken Peter's hand, enveloping the twelve-year-old's hand in his own. "Mr Pettigrew, huh?" The older man had said, looking him up and down. "I assume you're keeping my son out of trouble?"

"Daaaad," James whined. "Pete here would do nothing of the sort! In fact, his first detention was getting me out of detention!"

Peter had expected James' father to be horrified, and demand that he never interact with this son again. In fact, the opposite happened. "Loyalty is a wonderful trait," he said. "You should value a friend like that, James. People you trust completely don't come around very often."

James had nodded solemnly, his eyes wide, and Peter knew that Mr Potter was one of the wisest people he had ever met.

Peter sat down on James' bed, his head in his hands. He was only feeling a fraction of what James was bound to be, of course. But it still hurt. A framed picture of James and his parents sat on the desk across the room, and Peter stood to look at it, picking up the photo. Three happy people waved back at him, oblivious of the pain to come.

He set the picture back face-down on the desk. Lucky them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was actually supposed to be really really long, but my laptop broke and was sent to the Apple store. AGAIN. It sucks, and it's not fair to you all, so I decided to break it up and just post what was ready. Keep leaving reviews! I'm a shallow person who gains validation from others. Also, give me ideas for drabbles! Doesn't have to be Marauders, doesn't have to be Harry Potter. TR100 is almost done, so give me something to work on!
> 
> Next up: Remus doesn't find James. Lily doesn't find James. James is somewhere unexpected.
> 
> Love you all!
> 
> Alys


	35. James' Travels

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE: James' Travels

Lily found herself in Muggle London, near Kensington Gardens. She had no idea what she was doing there, only that the serenity of the park had called to her the second she had turned to Disapparate. Trees loomed up around her in the dark, the expansive lawns of the park spreading out around her and disappearing into the darkness. There was no way to reach James, no way to contact him.

Suddenly overcome with a heavy weight in her chest, Lily sat down in the grass, her forehead resting on her knees. She could hear James' voice in her head: _"You really think so little of me that you think I'd drink my troubles away?"_

But the truth was, she didn't know. She didn't know him well enough at all. What if he would rather have been alone? What if he had left with no intention of returning?

A gust of cold wind rustled the leaves on the trees, chilling her to the bone. Lily was suddenly acutely aware of how late it was, and how dark it was. Her hand closed on her wand, gripping it so tightly her knuckles whitened. She got to her feet slowly, her breathing ragged. Goosebumps ran up and down her arms, her t-shirt inadequate in the frigid March weather. The snow had melted by now, but it felt as if the air itself was coated in ice.

"Tell me how to find you," Lily moaned. "How can I find you?"

It all felt hopeless. Even if she Apparated home to use the phone, she would have nowhere to call. Being a witch was bloody inconvenient at times. Wait...a witch! Of course, she was a witch. There were magical methods of communication!

As soon as her elated revelation had come, it wore off. Owls would take too long. Floo powder required her to know where the recipient was. Messenger Patronus...

Lily's head shot up, the cold nearly forgotten. She had conjured a Patronus successfully only twice—once the first time ever, and the second to demonstrate for James. She seemed to recall that the messenger version involved performing the charm nonverbally, but she doubted her abilities.

Lily took a deep breath, sucking in the freezing air. Happy thoughts. Happy thoughts.

She cast her mind back to the first Gryffindor/Slytherin match she'd been dragged along to. The air had been just as frosty, but she'd been wrapped in James' scarf and in the stand amongst her friends. And after the game, she'd run down to the pitch...

A blush spread from her cheeks, warming her down to her fingertips Now or never.

She raised her wand, thinking furiously, _Expecto Patronum!_

Nothing.

Lily focused on the happiness of the moment, the utter bliss as she'd melted into the kiss, how her fingers had tangled in his hair and he'd been so startled that for a second he'd forgotten to kiss her back. _Expecto Patronum!_

The silvery doe burst from the tip of her wand, illuminating the trees around her and defrosting her toes. Lily held out a trembling hand to the deer, which bowed its head in response. Lily cleared her throat. "Find James Potter," she said, her voice shaking. "And ask him to please come home."

* * *

To Remus, James meant freedom. It was almost clichéd, that the sad lonely werewolf had been confined by his illness until the charismatic young boy had come along and opened his mind to possibilities of happiness.

But that was how it happened.

Remus reentered the library slowly. "James?" he began cautiously. "James, are you in here?"

He wasn't. But then, Remus had expected this. No one had doused the fire, so Remus sank into an armchair near it. He was confident James would return when he was ready. But his confidence was wavering by the minute. He could hear Sirius outside, calling James' name. Remus doubted he was there.

Maybe he was visiting his mum's grave in Godric's Hollow. No one had thought to check. Remus half-rose, about to Apparate over himself. But then he settled back again. If James had left to be alone, he wanted to be alone. No one could stop a determined James Potter, not when he'd set his mind to something.

Remus stared into the flames, his eyes blurring from exhaustion and stress. The full moon was dangerously near, just two days away. He could already feel the ache in his bones, the slight snap to his temper. Outside, the door slammed as Sirius gave up and came storming back into the house.

"That _prat,"_ he spat savagely as he burst into the library.

Remus wasn't startled, by now accustomed to Sirius' antics. Padfoot threw himself into the armchair across from Remus, the one earlier occupied by Dumbledore. "I think he's just hurting," Remus said quietly.

"Yes, but can't he hurt _here,"_ Sirius snapped impatiently. "We're _worried_ about him."

"I know," Remus said soothingly. "And I just hope he knows too."

* * *

Mrs Evans was sat in bed with a book. Some empty nesters found the silence of an empty house unnerving, but Mrs Evans found it comforting. It wasn't distracting whenever a floorboard creaked or the house settled, she didn't jump whenever the wind blew too loudly against the windowpane. Anxiety _certainly_ wasn't the reason she was still awake past one in the morning.

Upon hearing a loud _crack_ outside her house she jumped again, her book falling into her lap. The _crack_ usually accompanied her youngest daughter whenever she magicked herself into her house. Mrs Evans swung her legs out of bed, grateful to no longer be alone in the house. Though she recalled her daughter was supposed to be staying with that boyfriend of hers, in some "unplottable wizarding mansion, mum, I honestly have no idea where it is". She wondered what had brought Lily home so late at night. If that boy had done something...Mrs Evans' hand tightened on the banister. He may be a wizard, but she was a mother.

Halfway down the stairs, there was a knock at the door. Mrs Evans froze. Lily would have appeared right into the living room, or her bedroom. Perhaps the crack had had nothing to do with witches at all, and was simply a car backfiring. Perhaps it was another wizard, calling late at night because they had no sense of decency, and magical caffeine was easier to come by.

Mrs Evans wasn't sure what made magical caffeine so magical, or if it even existed at all, but she knew she wanted some. She crept her way down the stairs, pulling her dressing gown tighter around her waist. She paused in the foyer to listen. The scuffle of shoes on the front porch, then another knock, a little more frantic this time.

She pressed her cheek to the wood of the door, gazing through the peephole. It was Lily's boyfriend, James Potter. Mrs Evans' shoulders relaxed, releasing a tension she had hardly realised was there. Unless something had happened to Lily. Suddenly terrified, Mrs Evans flung the door open. "What happened?" she snapped, her eyes darting around the front lawn as if her daughter might be hiding. "Where's Lily?"

"B-back at the manor," James said, sounding terrified. Mrs Evans noticed his eyes were bloodshot, his hair rumpled. "I'm s-sorry if I woke you, Mrs Evans. I know it's late, I don't—I don't know what time it is."

Mrs Evans frowned. "Nonsense. I've been up for hours. But Lily is alright?"

"She's fine," James clarified. "I promise. B-but please. Could I come in?"

Something in her heart warmed, seeing the forlorn boy on her stoop. She may be childless at the moment, but knowing someone still needed her cheered her up instantly. "Of course, dear. In, in! I'll make tea." Mrs Evans ushered him into the parlor, seating him on the couch and bustling into the adjoining kitchen. "Biscuits, dear?"

"I'm fine," James said. "I just—I didn't know where to go, and you were the first person I thought of..." he began, his voice trailing off. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come."

"Don't be ridiculous." Mrs Evans set the pot on the stove, then brought a plate of packaged biscuits in despite his initial refusal. She set the plate down on the coffee table and sat herself on the couch beside him. "What's the matter? Shouldn't you be asleep in that mansion of yours?"

"Dumbledore's just been there," James said, his gaze still on the biscuits. "He—he was reading my father's will." His fist clenched where it rested on his knee as he said it, his eyes shining. Mrs Evans could tell he was holding back tears, and badly at that.

She blinked once in surprise. "Your father? But—"

"We've only just found out," he said miserably. "Remus and Sirius and Peter floo'd in. Lily's with them right now. He's left me everything, but I don't know how t-to live. Without him, I mean. Without both of them. I'm alone."

Mrs Evans grabbed his hands from where they rested on his thighs, clenched so the knuckles whitened. "You are not alone," she said in a low voice, the ferocity she had previously felt when she was afraid something had happened to Lily returning. "I'm glad you came. You don't feel prepared for adult responsibility—you're still a teenager, for God's sake—and I'm going to help you any way I can. I don't know much about Wizarding politics or economics, but if you need a mother, or just a friend, don't hesitate." She squeezed his hands, and she felt the tension in them releasing as James' shoulder's slumped.

She pulled him into a tight hug as he began to sob, his head on her shoulder, her hands stroking his hair. Mrs Evans' children may not have been present, but she was still a mother.

They remained like that for quite some time, until Mrs Evans gasped and released James from her embrace, rocketing to her feet. Rubbing his eyes, James looked around, blinking in confusion. "What's wrong?" he croaked, pulling his wand from the pocket of his robes.

Mrs Evans was gazing, wide-eyed, at a silver doe, standing patiently in the middle of her living room. The doe, in turn, was gazing, wide-eyed, at James. James's eyebrows flew to his hairline. "Lily?" he asked in a disbelieving voice, getting to his feet as well.

The doe opened its mouth, and Lily's voice bubbled from it. "Please come home," was all it said. A simple plea. James reached a hand out to touch the Patronus, in awe, but it faded as he drew closer.

Mrs Evans was still staring at the spot where the silvery apparition had been, her mouth a surprised 'o'. "Did that just happen?" she asked faintly, sinking back onto the couch.

James sniffed one last time, shook his head once to clear it, then spoke, his voice regaining its confidence. "Just a message from Lily. It appears she needs me." He went into the kitchen, where the kettle was whistling on the stove (how long had it been doing that?) and brought out a mug. "I should get going, and you should be sleeping. Lily would be impossibly angry with me if I let you stay up." He poured the hot water into the mug, adding a teabag and bringing the drink to Mrs Evans. "Thank you for the company."

"Of course, dear," she said, the shock from the Patronus still evident on her face. "If you need anything at all, don't hesitate to call. Er, or show up on my doorstep in the middle of the night. Whichever is more convenient, I suppose."

"Thank you." James sat back down on the couch so he could hug her once more. "Thank you so much for everything, Mrs Evans."

Mrs Evans smiled weakly, clutching the mug of tea James had given her. "Don't be afraid to cry, dear. If your friends are any friends at all, they won't mind."

James said, "I know." Then he smiled one last time and vanished, twisting into nothingness with only a faint _pop._

Mrs Evans eyed the spot where he'd vanished, passing the hot mug back and forth between her hands. Then she raised it to her lips and took a long sip, wishing he'd poured a good amount of brandy into it.

* * *

Lily Apparated back to the manor. "You win," she said miserably to Sirius, who was in the library conversing with Remus in low tones. "I couldn't find him. I send a Patronus message to him, but I have no idea if it worked or not. I suppose we'll just have to wait and see. Where's Peter?"

"Going through Prong's things," Sirius said dryly. "He's seeing if there's anything worth selling up there."

Lily tried to look disapproving, but she knew he was only joking. With a sigh, she squished into the armchair next to Remus. "How are you doing?" she asked. "You only have a day or so until your...problem. Shouldn't you get some sleep?"

"Probably," Remus admitted, rubbing his eyes with the heels of his hands. "But I want to stay up and worry with you all. The anxiety is good for me."

"Remus gets sarcastic around his time of the month," Sirius said wisely. "It's the best time to be around him, honestly."

The werewolf glared at him wordlessly.

Lily chewed on a hangnail nervously, listening to the grandfather clock in the corner tick away the seconds. Her eyes followed the pendulum as it swung back and forth, a small silver sphere not connected to anything, but magically counting the minutes anyway.

The three sat in silence, Sirius glaring into the fire as if it had killed his mother (or neglected to, as his sentiments towards his mother were generally negative) and Remus trying not to fall asleep. They could hear Peter's footsteps upstairs, doors opening and shutting as he checked every room of the mansion, methodically keeping himself busy.

It was nearing two in the morning when they all heard a _pop_ in the foyer. Lily's head shot up. Sirius turned into a dog, then back into a human.

"It's probably just Dumbledore," Remus said dully.

"He also gets cynical," Sirius said. He turned back into a dog, its ears pricked up. He sniffed once, then leapt off the chair and ran from the room.

Lily got to her feet heavily, then helped Remus to his. "I suppose we ought to follow him," she said. "But I'm not cleaning up after him if he needs a walk."

"Sirius, get off, I'm fine and I'm back—ow! Don't bite me, you asshole—"

James was in the middle of the foyer, fending off Sirius with his arms.

Lily swallowed. "Did you get my message?" she asked. James, distracted, looked up, losing his battle with Sirius. He was promptly bowled over by the formerly-human dog, knocked flat on his back.

"Yes," he said, still trying to shove Sirius off of him. "I just got it. I was with—Sirius, Merlin's balls, get off—your mother."

"Don't talk about my mother and Merlin's balls in the same sentence!" Lily said, a bit of outrage creeping into her voice.

"You just did," Remus pointed out.

Lily's eye twitched. "This is ridiculous," she said finally, breathing heavily through her nose. "Utterly ridiculous. What were you doing with my mother?"

Sirius had finally backed off, and James sat up. "I needed someone," he said simply. "I thought of her."

Lily sucked on her lower lip. "She _is_ a good mum," she admitted. She sank to her knees and pulled James into a hug. "Please don't leave again," she said. "I was so worried about you."

"We all were," Remus said, scowling. "Well, except Sirius. He wanted to sell your belongings."

James kissed the top of Lily's head. "I just wanted to be alone." He raised his eyes to Remus'. "Shouldn't you be asleep?"

Remus huffed. "Fine. I'll be in my room." He spun on his heel and marched up the stairs, Sirius-the-dog hot on his heels.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Lily said, taking his face in her hands. "You've been through a lot. One visit to my mother can't have fixed everything—"

"It didn't," James said firmly. "I just...thought things over. Dad wouldn't have wanted me to be sad, or to forget my friends. He would want me to be happy, to remember him. So I think we should still throw the Easter party."

Lily gasped. "What? But the funeral—"

"Won't be until after," James said. "He'd want it this way."

Lily thought back to the little she'd seen of Mr Potter. "You're right," she said eventually. "He would've." She kissed him then, on the cold marble floor of his foyer, leaning into his warmth. He smelled like her house, like her mother, and a wave of homesickness enveloped her. She clung to him tighter. "Don't leave me again," she mumbled against his mouth.

"Never," he said. "Until the day I die."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What's that? A RELATIVELY FAST UPDATE FOR ME? Remember when I used to update everything three days ahahaha it's nice to look back on the past every once and a while. Remember what had once been and will never happen again.
> 
> Anyways, I've been reading the Raven Cycle OBSESSIVELY. I'm just about done with book 2, so if Sirius is sounding Ronan-like I'm sorry, I really am. The characters aren't even that SIMILAR. Anyways, I was home sick today because I've been putting this cold off all week (and if you think someone can't procrastinate on being sick, you've clearly never met me) so I figured I may as well post this chapter. I hope you love it!
> 
> Send me prompts. Critique my writing. I don't really proofread, so any and all inconsistencies are just me being lazy af.
> 
> xoxo,
> 
> Alys


	36. Bedrooms and Broomsticks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> disclaimer: chapter does not include broomsticks.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX: Bedrooms and Broomsticks

 

_March 22, 1978_

_Dear Lily,_

_I know the only reason you didn’t respond to my last letter is because you’re too busy shagging Potter, so I’ll let that slide for now. HOWEVER, Black and Lupin have been talking about some sort of Easter party you and Potter are throwing, and I’m honestly offended I haven’t been invited. Hestia heard Mary tell Black that Alice told HER that this ‘party’ isn’t going to be open to the public. Black said it’s true, it’s just a Marauders’ event. However, you are not a Marauder. Also, Black then allegedly flirted with Mary, saying “but you can come along if you want, love.” I think that’s verbatim, I’m quoting Hestia quoting Black._

_As always, Lily, I’m just trying to keep you up-to-date with Hogwarts gossip while you’re shacking up with Potter. Name a baby after me, yeah?_

_And write back this time. I miss you._

_Love,_

_Marlene_

_***_

_March 23, 1978_

_Lily,_

_Black, Pettigrew, and Lupin disappeared overnight. Dumbledore and McGonagall haven’t said ANYTHING. Do you know anything about this? Is the Easter party still on? Is this some sort of SECRET PREPARATION thing I haven’t been privy to know about? Please, please write back, Lily. I’m getting worried._

_Marlene_

_***_

_March 23, 1978_

_Dearest Marlene,_

_I’m so so sorry I haven’t written back! At first, yeah, I was busy with party preparation. But...things have been crazy here. I’ll tell you before you find out through anyone else: Late last night James’ father was found dead. We don’t know for positive, but we think it was Death Eaters. James is a wreck, but the stupid idiot is determined to green-light the Easter party. “We have three days, Lily! We can still make it work.” “We got MAYBE two hours of sleep last night, James. I don’t think this is the best idea...” “Dad would have wanted us to go through with it.”_

_How can I argue with that!?_

_Sirius and Remus and Peter are all here now. They came over immediately to help with James, but Dumbledore sent us a letter this morning promising to take care of the funeral. I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to hug that man more than I do right now._

_We were up really late last night (long, long story) and James is still in bed. I’m trapped in bed too—he has one arm around my waist and I don’t think he plans on releasing me any time soon. Figured I might as well be productive as long as I’m stuck here, so I decided to finally read all your letters._

_Of course you can come along to the party, you prat! I’ve drafted up a guest list, and I forced Sirius to make it a closed event otherwise the whole bloody school would’ve been lining up to Floo over. We can’t have that, now can we?_

_Here’s the list of the invited: Hestia, you, Frank, Alice, Aaron (you’re welcome), Mary...basically, just all you Gryffindor lot and Frank the lone Hufflepuff._

_Love,_

_Lily_

_***_

_Lily,_

_Marlene showed me your letter. I can’t believe you didn’t write me first, prig! Of course we’ll be coming to the party! Didn’t Potter connect the Gryffindor fireplace to the Floo network in fourth year? (I can’t believe Dumbledore doesn’t know about that, by the way. The man knows bloody everything. I bet he knows what color knickers I’m wearing.)_

_On a far more serious (and important) note: Why were you up late? Why are you in bed with Potter? DID YOU SHAG JAMES POTTER? I need answers, Lily! You can’t leave us hanging._

_I am sorry about James’ dad, by the way. Give him our condolences, will you?_

_Much love,_

_Mary (and the entire 7th year girls dorm)_

_***_

_Mary (and the entire 7th year girls dorm),_

_You’re all bloody awful, you know that? Fine, fine, I’ll tell you the abbreviated version if you promise to write back quickly. James is still asleep (it’s been two hours. My leg is cramping. Send emergency aid.) We were up ridiculously late last night because he decided to run off and hide with my mum for about half an hour while the four of us searched everywhere for him._

_That’s the thing about boyfriends, though, isn’t it? You expect it to be rainbows and lollipops all the time, perfect kisses and emotional support. But it has to go both ways, and it can’t be sunshine all the time. I suppose it’s a test of the relationship._

_Also, on that note, I did not SHAG him, thank you very much. We both needed emotional support. His room was closer than mine. We cuddled._

_Oh, I think he’s stirring. I’ll send this off with Solomon or Mercury, whoever gets back first. See you all soon!_

_Lots of love,_

_Lily_

_***_

James finally awoke to find his nose pressed against Lily’s hip. She was sitting up, writing something on his bedside table, contorted awkwardly so as not to disturb him. He appreciated all of this as he gazed up at her, her long red hair falling in her face as she signed her name with a flourish. Lily blew her hair out of her eyes, sighing satisfactorily as she read through what she’d just written.

“Is that a love poem for me?” James mumbled sleepily. Lily jumped, the bone of her hip ramming into his cheekbone. He rolled away, squinting in the light and pressing a hand to his cheek.

“Sorry,” Lily said, not sounding particularly sorry. “No, it’s not for you, love. It’s for Mary, a quick rundown on recent events and her invite to your Easter party.” She yawned, beckoning Solomon over from where he had perched on the windowsill. James’ curled form on the bed made a perfect landing strip, and the owl perched himself on James shoulder, claws digging in.

Lily tied the letter to Solomon’s leg, offering him one of the treats James kept in the drawer of his nightstand. “Nip Mary on the hand, would you?” she asked, peering into the owl’s eyes. “She’s been awfully intrusive.”

The owl gave a hoot of what Lily hoped was comprehension, and dug his claws painfully into James shoulder once more to soar back out through the open window.

The curtains fluttered in the light breeze, ruffling James’ hair and prompting Lily to shiver slightly. “I can’t imagine it’s any earlier than noon,” Lily mused, peering through the window in an attempt to spot the position of the sun. “We ought to get up, shouldn’t we?”

James rolled back over and latched an arm around Lily’s waist like a seatbelt. She gazed down at him, an amused smile playing on her lips and an eyebrow quirked up. “Mm. Stay.” James’ eyes were screwed shut against the light once more.

Lily poked his arm. “Oh dear. I’ve been bested by your arm.” She laid a hand on her forehead dramatically. “Whatever shall I do?”

The door banged open then, admitting an enthusiastic Sirius and a flustered Remus. “The eggs are here!” Sirius said happily. “We’d left them in the dorm when we rushed over, but McKinnon pulled through and owled them to us.

James hastily retracted his arm and sat up. “There’s a thing called knocking,” he said tersely.

Sirius waved this aside. “I haven’t knocked since first year. Anyways, Peters organizing them down in the parlor. We’re going to hide them tomorrow, before Moony heads back to Hogwarts.”

“Before you lot head back to Hogwarts,” Lily corrected. “I’ll hide them while you’re gone.”

Sirius rolled his eyes. “Evans, we know every inch of this place. You can’t hide shit from us.”

A smile played on Lily’s lips. “I wouldn’t doubt me that much. Now get out, you prats, I need to get dressed.” She threw back the covers for emphasis, swinging her bare feet onto the ground. Looking suspicious, Sirius slunk from the room, followed by a pale Remus.

“He doesn’t look well,” Lily commented, braiding her hair over one shoulder.

“He never does, in the days leading up to the full moon.” James rolled his head, cracking his neck and reaching across Lily for his glasses. He shoved them onto his face, blinking at the revelation that was unclouded sight.

Lily gathered a pair of jeans and a cardigan from her trunk, heading to the adjoining bathroom. “Don’t worry about the Easter preparations,” she said, stopping with a hand resting on the doorframe. “I’ll take care of it. Go to Hogwarts with Moony—can I call him that, by the way?—and don’t worry your pretty head about it.”

James grinned, running a hand through the hair on his pretty head. “You’re one of us now, Evans. You can call us anything you want.”

“Merlin help me,” Lily muttered, closing the bathroom door behind her. But she couldn’t fight the grin creeping onto her face.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry it's short and filler guys! The end of junior year is upon me, and between heart-wrenching concerts and ridiculous final projects (carpentry for an english final. kill me.) i've been ridiculously busy.
> 
> Yes, the story is wrapping up. I'm only going until graduation (theirs, not mine!) and then i'm considering a fantasy AU. i started it as a one-shot (i'm obsessed with the jily royalty fest!) but i've got ideas for it to be longer, if you guys are interested. let me know! your comments are so sweet, as always. keep em coming! i love validity.
> 
> all my love,
> 
> xoxo Alys


	37. An Elf Knows Himself

CHAPTER THIRTY-SEVEN: An Elf Knows Himself

 

A full moon rose above Hogwarts, fat and rotund and lazy. It hung low in the sky with heavy clouds wafting around it, a harbinger of pain and terror for a young Remus Lupin. But Remus was not around to fear the moon on the night of March 25th, 1978. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, and Prongs emerged from the shadows of the Whomping Willow and disappeared into the Forbidden Forest with barely a whisper, and while one could say that Peter and James and Sirius were out and about on the grounds that night, Remus was certainly not. Anyone looking out the windows of the castle would have seen only shadows flitting among the trees. Severus Snape, who watched the movements with ever-growing disgust, knew exactly what hid between the trunks in the Forest. But he had learned his lesson, and would not dare venture out onto the grounds on a full moon until nearly fifteen years later.

At the same time the Hogwarts grounds were being stalked by a not-so-fearsome werewolf, Potter Manor was being stalked by an irate Lily Evans.

“Marlene, I told you to put an egg in the Quidditch hoops! Why don’t I see an egg in the Quidditch hoops?”

An equally irate Marlene glared back. “Because you’re too _short,_ Lily Evans. Trust me, it’s up there.”

Lily huffed. “It had better be.” She turned back down to her checklist. “That just leaves the library, the conservatory, and the ballroom to check.”

Marlene ticked the rooms off her fingers. “Library was Mary, conservatory was definitely Alice—something about plants making her feel closer to Frank? I tuned out, it was gross—and Hestia had the ballroom.”

Lily scanned the list again. “Okay. Those are all on the ground floor, but the conservatory’s closest—follow me.”

The four girls had used the fireplace in Gryffindor tower to Floo over earlier that day to help Lily set up for the Easter egg hunt. To ensure that the girls would still be able to participate, Lily had assigned each one a room to be in charge of, and to document each egg’s location. Only Lily and Marlene would know where they all were.

The two girls strode across the lawns, beginning to shiver as Marlene’s Heating charm began to wear off. “S-sorry,” Marlene said, her teeth chattering. “I’m better at Cooling charms.”

Lily waved away the apology, too focused on the task at hand. She pulled open the glass door to the green house, her muscles relaxing as they entered the warmth. “Okay...Alice says there should be one behind the hydrangeas, one inside the Venus flytrap, two in that cupboard over there—no, that one—yes, perfect. She didn’t want to go near the Bouncing Bulbs, apparently last time she set one loose they ruined her—wow, she wrote an entire story here. I guess that’s why there are only four in the conservatory.” She shook her head, smiling to herself at her friend’s antics. “Whatever. Let’s move on. We can go out the back door and we’ll be close to the ballroom.”

Marlene followed Lily, one eyebrow rising. “How d’you know your way around here so well?”

Lily waved a hand. “Oh, James gave me a tour. My memory’s quite good.” She breathed in deeply as they entered the manor, the walls smelling faintly of cinnamon. “Merlin, it’d be wonderful to live somewhere like this, wouldn’t it?”

Marlene smirked. “Suppose you’ll just have to marry rich then, won’t you? Lucky you, you’re already on that track...”

“Oi!” Lily stopped to smack Marlene playfully with the sheet of parchment as the other girl laughed. “I’ll have you know that I’d be just as happy in a cottage somewhere, no money required.”

Marlene dropped a brightly colored egg with an Unbreakable charm on it into a flower vase and added it to the list. “Ballroom this way, then?”

As the two girls strutted down the hall together, giggling and teasing each other, Lily thought that there couldn’t be a more perfect, serene evening.

 

***

 

“Lily, go to bed!”

“No, you don’t understand, I forgot the _cake_ , I have to bake one now—”

“Lily, you can’t bake.”

“I can bloody well try!”

It was three in the morning. Marlene and Lily were the only two inhabitants of Potter Manor, save a few house elves, and Lily was waving a spatula in a vaguely threatening manner. “This party has to be _perfect_ or else James will never forgive me!”

Marlene put her hands on her hips, tilting her head exasperatedly. “Do you really think he’d be so petty? Come on, Lily. You know him better than that. You don’t even need a cake—an hour ago you were raving about how lovely everything looked.”

Lily wrung her hands, and act slightly complicated by the spatula still clutched in her fist. “Yes, but that was _before_ I realized that most of the snacks we’ve arranged are savory! Fine, suppose we don’t need a cake—I’d only propose cookies as the logical alternate solution!”

“It’s three in the morning,” Marlene said, grabbing Lily’s wrists and gently prying the spatula from her grip. “Go to bed. I’ll deal with the sweets.”

Lily narrowed her eyes. “You promise?”

“Yes, I promise!” Marlene shoved her friend towards the door. “Go on, now. Don’t think I won’t know if you’re up owling bakeries!”

Lily’s eyes lit up with possibility.

“ _Closed_ bakeries, Lily! It’s three. In. The. Morning.”

Lily’s eyes darkened with resignation. “Very well,” she said sullenly. “I will go to bed. But tomorrow, if there are no cookies and/or cake, I’m making an application for new best friend.”

“And I’ll be sure to fill it out and mail it in a timely fashion,” Marlene said, rather cheerfully for someone who was still awake at three in the morning. “Now sleep, Lily. You’ve done a marvelous job. James will be thrilled.”

Dragging her feet, Lily began to make her way out of the kitchen. “He’s not the only one I’m trying to impress, you know,” she mumbled sleepily. “Sirius is pretty hard to please, too, and Peter’s very specific about the food at parties. Only Remus is laid-back, and he’s still got a rather wolfish appetite.” Lily snorted at her own joke. “G’night, Marl.”

Amusedly: “Goodnight, Lily.”

“I won’t tell Sirius you’ve got a massive crush on him. ‘Sides, he’s very gay anyway.”

Less amusedly: “Oi!”

Snickering, Lily departed the kitchen. Marlene shook her head at Lily’s antics, but didn’t get upset; she knew the girl was unlikely to remember any of her exhausted repartee. Instead, she went searching for the house elves that had ensconced themselves somewhere in the manor.

 

***

 

Morning broke clear and cold, like any proper Easter, Lily thought absently to herself. Her face was buried in a soft pillow and despite the strands of red hair in her mouth, Lily felt calm and serene. That is, until she remembered that far earlier that morning, she had left Marlene alone in a kitchen to deal with dessert arrangements for the party, which was set to take place at noon.

Lily sat up, sleep flying from her brain and her hands scrabbling for the alarm clock by the bed. Noon was in three hours.

Her feet landed on hardwood floor, which was odd, as the guest room she occupied had carpeted floor...

She finally raised her gaze to the room and gasped. Last night, in her exhausted state, she had somehow made her way back to James’ room. Her wand was lying on the floor, and with a hasty flick she had remade the bed to its previous state, looking for the most part unslept in.

Lily raced down to the kitchen, her bare feet wincing against the cool marble floor of the foyer, and found three house elves setting out a cup of tea and a crumpet with butter. “Oh!” one of them said upon seeing her, its bulbous eyes going, if possible, even wider. “We is so sorry, miss! We was expecting you to sleep longer—Miss Marlene said not to expect you until noon, miss!”

“Oh,” Lily said in response, gazing at the breakfast that was clearly for her. “I—Marlene asked you to do this?”

“Yes miss,” the elf said. The other two had gone back to work, cooking...something. “She told us to make three batches of cookies—chocolate chip, she says—and breakfast for you, miss! Of course, we is not done with the cookies, and we is most sorry, Miss Lily.”

Lily blinked. “Er—just Lily is fine. And you really didn’t have to go to the trouble...”

“It was no trouble, miss,” piped up a different elf. This one was holding an enormous bowl of batter, while the other stirred it with a whisk. “Mistress Potter would always try to cook herself, so she would never let us do much cooking—we misses it, miss.”

“Oh,” Lily said again. “Well then. I’m sorry we’ve never been properly introduced.” She sat down at the table, picked up the cup of tea—two sugars and no cream, just as she liked it, no doubt by Marlene’s instruction—and took a tentative sip. “Green tea,” she said. “That’s my favorite. B-but how did you know? It’s not very popular—”

“Miss Marlene told us,” the first elf said. “She said to make sure you was very well taken care of, miss. And Master James speaks very fondly of you, Miss Lily, very fondly indeed.”

“Oh,” Lily said, for the third time. She was sort of at a loss for words. “Well. Thank you. And thank you for the breakfast, and the cookies. You’re welcome to join the Easter party, if you’d like.”

The elf’s eyes bugged out of its head. “Oh, no, no miss!” it said. “We couldn’t! Please, miss.”

Lily set the teacup down on its saucer. “Why couldn’t you?” she asked curiously. “I know James won’t mind.”

“It’s not that, miss. We knows our place, miss.”

Lily’s hand convulsed around the handle of her teacup. “That’s absurd,” she said, her words coming out a hiss. “No one should have to know their _place._ Your place is as good as mine, as good as Sirius’, as good as Alice’s, as any pureblood’s!”

“I has offended you, miss!” The elf cried, ringing its hands. “Binkey will punish himself, miss, a hundred times over!”

“No!” Lily cried, jumping out of her chair. “No, no, I’ve made a mess of everything!” She pressed a hand to her forehead. “Oh, I wish James were here...”

Now would have been the time for him to appear behind her, magically, and grin, possibly saying, “Did you really miss me that much?” But sadly, at this moment, James was in the hospital wing at Hogwarts, making sure Remus awoke from his transformation without too much pain.

So Lily left the kitchen, apologizing profusely to the elves for disturbing them, and wishing once more that she weren’t quite so alone in this big empty house. And she wished most of all that Marlene had agreed to stay the night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> Wow, it's been a while. Sorry. But, in the meantime, I turned seventeen! Boy, it's been weird. I mean, I'm an ADULT in the Wizarding World! Idk, I liked being sixteen. Like, I'm Lily's age. That's weird. Considering I started writing this in my final days as a fifteen-year-old, I'd like to think my writing has improved over the past year. Maybe you've noticed. Maybe it hasn't. Either way, this story is definitely drawing to a close...if I weren't cutting these chapters short so as to prolong the inevitable!
> 
> Ah well. I won't write any more here, because the longer I spend typing this, the longer it is for YOU to get this chapter! Though of course, by the time you read this, you'll have finished it. Well, good news! It's summer now. I'll (hopefully) be able to write more, between work and boatloads of French homework.
> 
> Au revoir!
> 
> Alys xoxo


	38. Hunter and Prey

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT: Hunter and Prey

 

Lily was bouncing on the balls of her feet in front of the fireplace in the foyer, waiting for the Gryffindor 7th years to Floo in. The list of eggs was in her pocket, her wand was twirling between her fingers, emitting gold sparks, and her hair was tucked neatly behind a sunny yellow headband. She felt, in a word, happy.

She was happy she wouldn’t be alone, she was happy it was sunny out for Easter, and she was happy that even for one day, she could make everyone else happy, too.

The flames in front of her shot up emerald green, and her heart leapt. A dark-haired figure fell through the fire, landing gracefully and shaking his head. “Merlin, Evans, you look disappointed. Were you expecting someone else?” Sirius grinned.

“Of course not,” Lily said innocently. “I always get dressed up nicely and plan elaborate hunts for you, Padfoot. Simply because I love you so much.”

Lily had expected Sirius to scowl upon hearing his nickname from her mouth, but he actually grinned wider. “Just wanted to make sure you weren’t wasting away here without me. James seemed concerned.”

She waved a hand. “James is always concerned. I’m fine. The house elves here are a bit odd, though...”

“Oh, yeah. They’ve always been that way. James tried to free them a few years back, they nearly jumped out a window to get away from his shirt...might’ve been because we forgot to wash it, though, now I think about it...”

Lily snorted. “Right, well, you’re here now, Black. Make yourself useful. All the food is in the kitchen, it needs to be on the lawns outside. Can I trust you not to eat it all?”

“Madam, I’m offended,” he said in mock indignation. “I could never eat anything you’ve cooked.”

Lily’s jaw dropped, giggles fighting their way out of her chest. “Shut up, Padfoot. Get to work.”

“Yes, Mrs Prongs.”

Lily choked on her laughter. “Excuse me?!”

“You wanted your own Marauder’s nickname? You have one.” Sirius danced out of the way as she tried to smack him and ran, laughing, into the kitchen. “Can I start looking for the eggs now? Marlene says you know where they all are.”

“No!” Lily called back. “Don’t _cheat,_ Sirius. When will the others be along?”

The flames in the fireplace swirled up emerald, and Sirius gave a cheery yell, “Now!”

James Potter stepped easily into the room, dusting ash from the shoulder of his sweater. Lily’s heart leapt at the sight of him. He took a step forward, a handsome grin on his face, and promptly tripped over his own feet and came crashing to the ground.

Lily brought a hand to her mouth, unsuccessfully stifling a giggle, and helped him to his feet. “Suave,” she said. “Padfoot’s in the kitchen, love. Try not to fall over yourself on your way in.”

James scowled, drawing his wand and Vanishing the ash he’d gotten on the carpet. “Don’t breath a word of this to the others,” he said to Sirius, who was guffawing in the kitchen.

“I won’t!” he called. “Perfect blackmail material, Prongs.”

The flames turned green once more, and out spun Mary, who did not land as gracefully as James, but at least managed to stay on her feet the whole time. She greeted Lily with an enthusiastic hug. “Marlene’s running late, she overslept, but she’ll be along! Remus was right behind me.” Mary gave Lily a pat on the cheek and, spying the two boys in the kitchen, hurried to go have breakfast.

Once again, Lily had been saddled with the job of greeting people. Only this time, it was not extraneous relatives she was ushering into her sister’s engagement party, but her closest friends. A weary-looking Remus was followed by Peter, who waved and informed Lily that Alice had smuggled Frank into the Gryffindor common room and they would be Flooing in posthaste. After them, Hestia met Lily with a chocolate egg, courtesy of Mrs Jones. The gathering was rounded up with the arrival of Aaron McKinnon, followed finally by a yawning Marlene.

Marlene slung an arm around Lily’s shoulders and steered her into the kitchen, flicking her wand at the radio in the corner and turning it on. Celestina Warbeck’s lastest album came warbling out of the stereo, and the party officially began.

The house elves appeared from nowhere, spreading out the additional trays of snacks and decorations, and Lily handed out the pastel-painted wicker basket and declared the commencement of the egg hunt.

There was a scrambling to get out the door and to smuggle cakes and biscuits into pockets, but soon Marlene and Lily were alone once again in the kitchen. Lily smiled at her friend wryly. “You can join Aaron, you know. Just don’t give anything away.”

“Only if you come,” Marlene said. “You’ve slaved away here for this party, Lily. You should enjoy it.”

Lily found her feet, unbidden, inching their way towards the sunlight outside. “Well, I wouldn’t say _slaving...”_

Marlene looped her arm through the redhead’s. “Come on,” she said coaxingly. “Go have fun.”

She didn’t need to be told twice.

 

***

 

Lily found James rifling through the cupboard under the stairs, swearing when he bumped his head against the low ceiling.

“Ah, the dark, small, sloped room,” Lily said, peering over his shoulder. “Is this where you grew up?”

James snorted, backing out of the cupboard and shutting the door. “It was a secret hideout when I was five,” he admitted. “Then mum found it and gave it to one of the house elves. Said it was selfish for me to have three rooms.”

Lily’s lips quirked up in a half-smile. “How unreasonable.”

“That’s what I said!” James cried in mock-indignation. He held out his basket for Lily to see the three brightly-painted eggs rolling around. “And look at how pathetic this is.”

“It’s not pathetic,” Lily protested. “I’m sure you’re doing fine. Just...wasting your time rifling around in the wrong cupboards.”

James’ eyes lit up then. “Lils,” he said slowly, and she immediately knew what he meant.

“No,” she said sharply, but there was a teasing edge to her voice.

“Liiiils,” he said again, in a sing-song tone. “You know the benefits to having a girlfriend that hid all the Easter eggs?”

Lily blinked innocently. “A fantastic party?”

James snaked a hand around her waist. “We can waste all the time we want, and you can find me the rest of the eggs.” He dragged her over to the coat closet across the hall and shut the door behind them.

“That’s cheating,” she said, but the protestation had left her voice. “They’ll say it’s favoritism.”

“Isn’t it?”

In the darkness, his lips found hers, and then her cheeks, and then her neck. Lily wrapped her arms around his neck, her fingers knotted in his hair, her mouth on his ear, then his cheek, then his mouth. There was a crash as someone’s heavy peacoat fell to the floor beside them, and Lily giggled as James pushed her against the wall, knocking aside several more coats as he did so.

When his mouth neared her ear, James whispered, “You didn’t hide anything in here, did you?”

Lily’s eyes flew wide, her hands freezing in his hair. “Er. We might want to find a different closet.”

As if called by their words, the door flew open and the two sprang apart, Lily’s hands flying to button up her cardigan. Marlene stood in the doorway, a triumphant smile on her face. “Figured I’d find you two here. Anyways, we’re just about done—don’t see you making much progress, Potter, prepare to lose—and you might want to get the prizes ready.” Marlene shut the door again, leaving the couple in darkness again.

Lily raised her wand, conjuring a small light.

“There are prizes?” James demanded. “Evans, please—you have to help me. I can’t lose to Abbott. She’d never let me here the end of it!”  
She held up the basket, its three lonely eggs painted yellow, pink, and blue. “Should’ve thought about that before you decided to ravage me in a cupboard.”

James blinked, the grin returning. “Ravage you, hm?”

“Winning, James!” Lily reminded him, dancing out of reach. “Which do you value more?” She raced out of the hall, still clutching the basket, James hot on her heels, the two of them laughing delightedly as she lead him from hidden egg to hidden egg.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! Alys here.
> 
> It's been too long, I know. But now I have to work on COLLEGE ESSAYS (oh boy!) and I'm in the middle of a princess diaries Jily AU!!!! I'm super excited about it, I love the Princess Diaries series, and the gist of it is that Lily finds out she's the heir to the Hogwarts throne (so her dad's dead, like in the movies, not like the books). There are some similarities to the books/the movies, but it'll be really original too! I've never written a long AU fic before, so this should be fun.
> 
> Speaking of, I've never written a make-out scene before. And I KNOW this one's tame, but still, I'm awful at kissing stuff. Also knowing my thirteen-year-old sister reads this makes me squeamish. SORRY, LIANA.
> 
> Anyways. Leave a comment! Leave me hate for taking so long, love, criticism...I don't take criticism well, but I'm working on it, so let me know how I'm doing!
> 
> Love you all,  
> Alys xoxo


	39. Once Defied

CHAPTER THIRTY-NINE: Once Defied

Lily awoke the morning of the funeral to find Remus in her room, digging frantically through one of the drawers.

"Um," she said groggily. "Can I help you?"

Remus jumped, blushing a bright red. "I'm so sorry, Lily," he said. "I didn't mean to wake you. Or invade your personal space. It's just—Sirius is freaking out downstairs, can't find the perfect tie, and this is his room, so his stuff—"

"It's fine," Lily said, swinging her legs out of bed. "Need help finding anything?"

He shook his head. "Prongs is looking a bit queasy downstairs, though. And I can only deal with one panicking boy at a time, unfortunately..."

Lily grabbed the black dress slung over the foot of her bed. "It's fine," she said. "How's Peter doing?"

Remus stood up, a dark red tie in his hands, having finally found what he was looking for. "He's surprisingly good. He's actually making breakfast."

"Really," Lily said, running her fingers over the velvet of her dress. "Where are the house elves?"

"Setting up." Remus cleared his throat. "I'll just let you get dressed, shall I?" He absconded quickly, and it struck Lily that he might not be as composed as he pretended to be.

All of her boys were barely hanging on by a thread today, and Lily was emboldened by this, for some reason. She resolved to take care of them all, today and for as long as they needed afterwards. In fact, just having this mission cleared her head, because she had to be strong for all four of them.

Lily slid the dress over her head, arranging the white Peter Pan collar. The dress fell to her knees, heavy velvet, not at all appropriate for a sunny March day. Lily sat down at Sirius' vanity and brushed her hair, counting strokes meticulously. She sprinkled blush on her cheeks and pink eyeshadow on her lids mechanically, going through the motions of getting ready.

She stood, slipping her feet into the black pumps she'd laid out the night before, and faced the mirror one last time. Lily was at once struck with how much _older_ she looked, but she felt this would only be beneficial today. The Marauders needed her, and that was all Lily needed.

In the kitchen, Peter was indeed making breakfast, but not well. He had burned two eggs to the bottom of a frying pan and was trying desperately to scrape them off, while James sat at the table with his head in his hands, wincing every time Peter scraped the spatula against the pan. Remus was affixing the red tie to Sirius' dress robes, while Sirius stared fixedly at the ceiling, hardly breathing.

Lily announced her presence with the click of her heels, moving Peter gently out of the way ("Oi, Lily!") and setting the pan in the sink to soak. She quickly busied herself making toast, as the other four watched her numbly. She set out five plates, loaded each with two slices of toast with raspberry jam, steeped a strong breakfast tea, and successfully made eggs. She was serving the fluffy yellow eggs onto the last plate when James finally spoke:

"What the bloody hell is this?"

Lily raised an eyebrow, setting the pan down in the sink beside Peter's earlier failure. "Breakfast," she said briskly, moving back to where the kettle of tea was beginning to whistle. "I do hope you'd have learned what that is by now, Potter." She glared at them all pointedly. "Now _eat_ , before it all gets cold and my hard work is for naught."

Peter lowered himself into a chair warily, taking a slow bite of toast. When Lily nodded approvingly, Remus and Sirius followed suit.

"I'm not particularly hungry," Sirius said, the first words he'd uttered all morning.

Lily turned her stare on him. "You need to eat," she said. "You need to keep up your strength." She turned back to the kettle, pouring out five mugs of tea. She added two sugars to James', just milk to Remus', milk and one sugar to Sirius', and two sugars and milk to Peter's. They seemed impressed by this, as Lily added sugar to her own tea. "I pay attention," was all she said.

"You'll be a great mum someday, Mrs Prongs," Sirius muttered into his cup.

Lily raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean, _someday?_ Tuck your shirt in, Padfoot."

She was delighted to see a small grin appear on his face. "Yes, ma'am."

James stood abruptly, draining his cup of tea and setting it back down on the table. "I'm going to Apparate over," he said. "I can't stand the waiting."

"We'll go with you," Peter said immediately, bouncing to his side. "See what Dumbledore's been planning—"

"No thanks, Wormtail," James said shortly. "I think I'd like to be alone for a bit."

Lily caught his eye and silently asked if she was to be included in his 'alone'. A curt shake of his head told her she was not. She tried desperately not to be stung by this, and simply nodded as he left, a louder _crack_ than usual echoing through the kitchen.

"It's only nine-thirty," Remus said, checking his watch. "He'll be there for half an hour."

Lily pursed her lips. "I trust him to be alone for half an hour. I...hope."

"He did this the morning of his mum's funeral too," said Peter. "Dumbledore said it'll be at the same place, in Godric's Hollow, so they'll be...together."

"Godric's Hollow?" Lily asked. "Why there?"

Sirius was still gazing into the bottom of his teacup as if he'd seen the Grim in their leaves. "Before Mr Potter got rich with his potioneering, it's where he lived. A small cottage in Godric's Hollow. They still go there in the summer sometimes. I've been."

"That's lovely," Lily said. She ran her hands along the soft velvet of her dress, dying in the warmth of the fabric. "Maybe he's gone there."

"Most likely. We didn't follow." Remus sighed and pushed his chair back from the table. "I can't sit here for the next thirty minutes. I'm going to get some air." He shook his head as he pushed the door open to the backyard, shoving his hands deep into his pockets.

As soon as the door shut behind him Sirius lurched up and after him. "Moony, wait up."

Then it was just Lily and Peter, standing by an uneaten plate of eggs.

Lily sagged against the counter. "I half-wish I'd been here the first time around," she said, her lips falling into a pout. "But I'm half-glad I wasn't. All these emotions...it's exhausting."

"I know what you mean," Peter said, staring at the door through which Sirius and Remus had exited. "Sometimes I think it's too much, you know? James and Sirius and Remus...they all feel so deeply and personally. It's something beautiful, but it's overwhelming too, isn't it?"

Lily stood straighter. "A little. But I think it's admirable, don't you?"

"Er—yeah, I guess."

"I'm going to put on red lipstick."

"Um. Why?"

"It makes me feel like I'm in control of my life."

Peter smiled a small smile. "In that case, can I try some?"

Lily threw a smile back over her shoulder on her way out. "Be my guest."

* * *

 

The service was held in the cottage at Godric's Hollow, and Lily was in love before she set foot inside. The small gate guarding the neatly kept garden, overflowing with sweet-smelling flowers, two stories of fairy-tale quality ivy-covered exterior. It was an absolute dream.

Lily spun in a full circle on the stone walk up to the door, her mouth open in a small O. She walked inside to the low murmur of sympathetic voices, and rows of chairs magicked into several rows, facing an elevated open casket. She didn't want to look inside, but James was standing next to it, unable to look away.

She sidled to the front of the room and slipped her hand into his. "Want to eat something?" she said. "We've got a few minutes."

James dragged his gaze away from his father—Lily determinedly looking only at her boyfriend's face—and looked at her. "Thanks," he said softly, following as she led him away from the dais.

The other three Marauders, she saw, were huddled together, a bottle of wine quickly being passed between them.

A long table was spread with food, and chocolate cauldrons were piled high on a platter in the middle. "Dad's favorite," James said quietly. "Said they reminded him of work."

"I'm sorry Dumbledore couldn't come," Lily said. "But you know how he is. Hogwarts means more to him than his own life, I think."

"Still. He arranged the thing."

Lily was about to open her mouth and respond when a loud _crack_ echoed through the room, followed by several others as dark hooded figures Apparated into the room, surrounding the somberly-dressed witches and wizards gathered near the center.

The figure at the front of the room, closest to the casket, lifted its head. They wore a silver mask, obscuring their face, but when they spoke it was in the high voice of a woman. "My condolences," she said, her tone not at all reflecting her words. She sounded excited. In fact, the air was crackling with an electric sort of energy, as if the hooded figures were vibrating with anticipation of something.

Lily didn't want to be around when that _something_ happened.

Wands were drawn from all present, and when she glanced beside her she saw that the other three Marauders had materialized, faces grim.

"That's my dear cousin Bellatrix," Sirius whispered furtively. James, equal parts horrified and royally pissed, added an element of shock to the expression brewing on his face. "She's mixed in with something dark. I don't know what's going—"

"The loss of a pureblood is truly something to mourn. Fleamont Potter will be missed."

A murmur went through the room. Some people's wands lowered. Lily gripped hers tighter.

"However, this can be seen as an opportunity." Bellatrix stepped closer to the casket, her hand touching the lid as she closed it with a soft _thud._

James took a furious step forward, but Lily and Sirius restrained him as Peter and Remus closed rank around them, wands at the ready.

"Not yet," Sirius hissed. "This could get very ugly very fast. I swear, if Reg is here..."

"The Dark Lord would like to extend an invitation to you, the esteemed pureblooded families of the Wizarding World. Swear your loyalty now, and you will join us in a bright new era of purity!" Her masked face turned slowly, taking in the room.

"How?" Sirius demanded, his voice loud. Lily jumped as heads swiveled in their direction. With a flick of her wand, Bellatrix's mask vanished, revealing her lovely face, delicate eyebrow raised, red lips twisted upwards in a smirk. "Want us to Floo this Dark Lord? Trust you to relay the message? Sorry, Bella, but you're not really selling it."

Lily grabbed his arm. "What are you _doing?"_ she hissed through gritted teeth. "You're baiting her!"

"He is coming tonight," Bellatrix interrupted, her cold eyes on Lily now. "Declare your allegiance in person."

A swirl of darkness, the faintest _pop_. In the middle of the dais, with Bellatrix directly to his right, appeared a tall, thin, pale man—if he could be called a man—in robes so dark they seemed to be made of the void itself. His eyes were red and snakelike, his fingers long and spindly, and he radiated cold like the dead of winter.

"Thank you, Bellatrix," he said softly, his voice high and clear. The assembled witches and wizards shrank back, as if held by a spell. In fact, Lily suspected they were. "I am here to offer my condolences," he echoed Bellatrix's earlier statement, "and to extend an opportunity." His eyes found James', locking on with an intensity Lily could almost see. James glared right back. "Young man, your father was a good man."

"The best," James said stiffly.

"You would follow in his footsteps," the man said. "You would do well to join Lord Voldemort."

"Thanks," James said blithely, "But I don't talk to people who refer to themselves in the third person. It creeps me out, frankly."

Voldemort drew himself up, his wand outstretched. "Grief makes us fools," he said, his eyes narrowing, if possible, even thinner. "You would be wise, boy, not to speak against me again." He turned, and addressed the crowd again. "I take no pleasure in interrupting your mourning. You are noble wizards, living proof of the superiority of true wizarding blood. Though I have noticed the Mudblood amongst you."

Lily's heart froze in her chest as Voldemort's gaze found her. The hooded figure closest to her leered, his lips peeling back to reveal a piss-yellow grin. Her shoulders drew up nearly to her ears. "You'll never get anyone to join you," she said, her voice stronger than she believed. "Your bigotry is unfounded. There has never been any _proof_ that my blood is any less magical than yours—"

"A demonstration, I believe, is in order." Voldemort waved a hand, and Bellatrix scurried forward eagerly. "Bella, if you will."

Bellatrix raised her wand. " _Crucio!"_

Pain. Unlike anything Lily had ever felt. Knives, pressing into her skin, dull, throbbing, aching, like her nails were being ripped from her fingers individually, as if her limbs were being pulled to breaking point, white-hot pokers pressed to her face. On and on and on it went, without end, her hair pulled from her scalp, her teeth yanked out one by one, burning eyes, twisting stomach, everything was wrong, everything was pain—

And then it stopped.

She lay on the ground, dazed, James' pale face hovering over her.

"That is what will happen to Mudbloods who speak out of turn," Lord Voldemort said dismissively. "Now! Swear your loyalty, and you will be welcomed into the new era. Those who do not will be branded blood traitors, cast out amongst their fellows."

Lily struggled to her feet in time to hear James call, "We'll never join you." He had moved closer, his wand up. " _I'll_ never join you. Now get the hell away from my dad's casket."

"Very well," Voldemort said. "So be it." With a wave of his wand, the polished wooden coffin burst into flames, taking the drapes with it, and he Disapparated. The hooded figures quickly followed suit.

As if a spell had been dropped, the screaming began. James immediately put out the fire, but the damage was done. The casket was a mangled wreck of charred wood and melting satin, and inside...

Lily dragged James away as fast as she could, outside to the cool spring air and the star-spangled night sky. From outside, the house sounded like popcorn, dozens of witches and wizards Disapparating at the same time, trying to escape. She saw a great, silvery dog burst from the window and disappear on the horizon.

In the garden, James was shaking. "How—how _dare_ he?" He choked on his words, raw and full of anguish. "Th-this house— _my father_ —join him—"

Lily pulled him into a tight hug, one hand bracingly on the small of his back, the other stroking his hair. "Sirius sent a message out," she said, thinking of the dog Patronus. "Probably to Dumbledore, or someone in the Ministry—"

With a faint _pop,_ ringing in the silence of the aftermath, Dumbledore appeared, wearing a somber expression and black robes dotted with golden stars. "James," he said, and the name itself carried oceans of apology and sympathy. "I see you've met Lord Voldemort."

"You could—say that," James said, his breath coming in great gasps. Peeling himself away from Lily, he tried to speak again: "He burned—my father—asked me to pledge— _allegiance_ — _"_

"And yet you did not," Dumbledore said, eyeing him.

"Of course not." Lily's limbs were shaking slightly, her entire being still aching from the Cruciatus Curse. Still, she stood strong. "We need to go back to Hogwarts," she continued firmly. "It's the only place safe enough—I think he's _targeted_ James. Now more than ever, especially since we've defied him."

As soon as Dumbledore's gaze fell on her, she saw recognition in the depths of his eyes. "How long was she under the curse?" he asked quietly, as Remus and Sirius and Peter emerged into the garden.

"Fifteen seconds at most," Peter said.

Was that all? It had felt like years.

Lily's vision blurred, and the next thing she knew, she was back inside, being helped up the stairs by Sirius. "Wh-what happened?" she mumbled.

"You fainted. There can be some nasty aftereffects," Sirius said grimly. "Dumbledore's...cleaning up. Downstairs. He doesn't want you Apparating or Floo'ing anywhere in your condition, so we're staying here for the night. Madam Pomfrey is going to Floo in as soon as she can."

"Oh. Okay." Lily tried to swallow, but her throat was too dry. "You don't have to do all that, though."

Sirius took her arm as they reached the top of the stairs. "Hey," he said. "You're one of us, Mrs Prongs. We don't abandon each other."

"You're such dorks," Lily murmured, her head clearing again. "I can walk again, I think. Thanks, Padfoot."

Sirius grinned wolfishly. "Don't thank me." He disappeared into a room across the hall.

When Lily pushed open the door to the master bedroom, she found James on the bed, his head in his hands. "Oh," she said. "I didn't realize you were upstairs."

James looked up, and Lily saw her own exhaustion and anguish reflected in his eyes. But upon seeing her, he got to his feet quickly. "After you passed out, Dumbledore sent me upstairs to rest," he said breathlessly. "Said he'd take care of everything. Are you okay?"

"I think so," she said. "My head is a little foggy, and everything aches, but other than that—"

James ushered her onto the bed, where she immediately lay down. "Stay there, okay?" he said anxiously. "I'll get you some tea."

"You don't have to fuss over me," Lily protested. "Madam Pomfrey's coming soon, and she'll say I'm right as rain." She tilted her head to look at James. "Are you holding up okay?"

"I'll be fine," he said. Lily was unconvinced. "Really," he said, holding her skeptical gaze. "We just defied Lord Voldemort. I think I can get through anything."

Lily smiled. "I know you can." Despite her throbbing head, she propped herself up on her elbows and leaned over to kiss him.

She was unconscious again before she'd even ended the kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> I hope you all enjoyed that last happy chapter, because this one was a DOWNER. It's kinda why it took me so long to write, hah! Writing Death Eaters without sounding pretentious and/or stupid is HARD. I hope I did well, please let me know if I didn't! I'm always looking to improve :)
> 
> Speaking of improving (though not really), I have a NEW multi-chapter AU out! It's called Royal Blues, it's a princess diaries AU, and it's been so much fun to write, it's all happiness and rainbows (kinda) so far, and I update it WAY more frequently, so I hope it can be something you enjoy between chapters of TR100. 
> 
> Also, this chapter is one of my longest. I'm very proud of that. 
> 
> See you next time!
> 
> xoxo,
> 
> Alys


	40. Potion-Making for Beginners

CHAPTER FORTY: Potion-Making for Beginners

Lily awoke to the sound of a woman clucking disapprovingly, and James' arms wrapped around her torso. Again.

She blinked her eyes open to see Madam Pomfrey standing above her, a tray of potions on the bedside table that had definitely not been there the night before. "Good, you're awake," she said briskly. "Any remaining headache? Sore muscles? Dry mouth?"

"All of the above?" Lily said faintly, as James began to stir.

"Mr Potter," Madam Pomfrey continued. "How nice of you to keep Miss Evans company as she recuperates. Though, undoubtedly, you have your own room to go to as I tend to her?"

James blinked. "This _is_ my room, Poppy."

Madam Pomfrey scowled, but there wasn't much anger in it. "Then you may as well make yourself useful. I assume you're competent in potions?"

James' eyes slid to Lily. "Second in my class."

Lily stifled a grin.

"Very well, that will have to do. Now, this is going to be similar to the Restorative Potion, with elements of the Star Grass salve." She pulled a small vial of a greenish mixture from the tray and shook it slightly, frowning at it in the early light from the window. "Up, Mr Potter."

As James struggled to his feet, Madam Pomfrey flicked her wand sharply and a small blue flame flickered to life beneath the cauldron Lily hadn't even noticed. "The Restorative elements should help with lingering effects of the curse itself, and the salve will heal any physical injuries to the brain or the muscles."

Lily attempted to lift her head and immediately agreed that her muscles and brain had physical injuries.

"Don't try to move," James said, his voice shaking on the last note. Lily concluded that he must be worried, though she had no real idea, as she couldn't see anything but the ceiling fan. A _clunk_ came from the cauldron in the corner. "What was that?"

James swore. "I dropped the spoon in—hold on— _Accio!"_

Madam Pomfrey sighed. "You're hopeless, boy."

"I'm nervous!" he snapped.

"It's okay," Lily attempted a soothing tone, but her voice croaked. "I can walk you through the potion, if you'd like. I've made a Star Grass salve before, it's not too hard as long as the ingredients are fresh—"

Madam Pomfrey scowled. "You need to rest, Miss Evans."

"Fine," Lily said. "Can I have some water?" In response, she was handed a glass of some murky blue substance. "What's this?" she said, eyeing it suspiciously.

"It should help with your throat," Madam Pomfrey said briskly. "I don't have time to explain everything to you, Miss Evans, I need to assist Mr Potter with the potion, which he is quickly mangling!"

James made an indignant noise from across the room that was swiftly ignored.

"Very well," Lily said, downing the tincture in one gulp. Almost immediately her eyes felt heavy. "What is this?" she demanded again. "What did you do?"

"A simple Sleeping Draught, Miss Evans. You need to _rest._ You'll be woken when the potion is complete."

"That's not fair!" Lily tried to protest, but only a slur of vowels came out. She tried to raise her arms to reach for James, but sleep pulled her in like an undertow.

* * *

As much as James disliked seeing his girlfriend drugged before his very eyes, he had to admit it was easier to focus without worrying about her. If Lily was asleep, at least she wasn't in pain. He exhaled through his mouth, the newly rescued spoon once more in his hand as he stirred twice clockwise, and then reached for the crushed peppermint leaves. Madam Pomfrey slapped his wrist.

"Did you read the instructions?" she demanded, uncorking a vial of a dark red liquid. "Salamander blood, Mr Potter! _Then_ the peppermint."

"Why don't you do it, then?" James snapped.

Madam Pomfrey narrowed her eyes. "I'm working on the Star Grass Salve. The two parts must be combined at the end. Perhaps Mr Lupin will be of more use to me—he _is_ still downstairs, isn't he?"

"I can do it," James said hastily. "Don't bother Remus. He had a long night."

Something softened in her gaze. "You all did." Then it was gone, and she was slapping the vial of salamander blood into his hand. "All of this. Then a pinch of peppermint leaves—no more, no less!"

He followed her instructions, muttering about the inexact measurement that was a _pinch._ After that was fifteen petals of centaury blossom, two stirs counterclockwise, and one sprig of thyme.

Sirius stuck his head in the door. "Hey, Prongs, mate. Wormtail's making breakfast downstairs, want a plate?"

James couldn't look up from the potion, lest Madam Pomfrey murder him with a spoon and make it look like an accident. "Can't," he said, holding a small vial of salamander blood up to eye level so he could see the meniscus. "Gotta make sure I don't kill Lily with bad potion."

"Poppy wouldn't let that happen," Sirius said confidently, as Madam Pomfrey shot him a murderous look. "I'll send Remus up with a plate as soon as it's ready." He eyed Lily's unconscious form. "I'd offer to send up two, but Mrs Prongs looks dead to the world. Poppy, care for some eggs?"

James couldn't tell, but he could've sworn Sirius shuddered from the look Madam Pomfrey gave him.

"Let me know when she's up and kicking," Sirius said, careful to look only at James this time. "Give her a kiss from me."

James held up a hand and flipped Padfoot the bird, still not looking up from the potion, now a periwinkle blue.

"It should be _violet_ by now, Mr Potter!" Madam Pomfrey said sharply. Sirius withdrew quickly.

The potion was finished at half past ten, and Madam Pomfrey left at a quarter to eleven, once she was satisfied Lily wouldn't have a seizure (apparently, a side effect of the Cruciatus). Lily tried to get up for breakfast (by then a late brunch), but was forced back onto the pillows by four concerned boys. Lily blinked up at them all; her mind still fogged by the Sleeping Draught, she said stupidly, "I don't remember inviting you all into my house."

James smiled indulgently, as one would to someone on pain medications after getting their wisdom teeth removed. "That's because this isn't your house, love."

Lily frowned. "It's not?"

"It's _my_ house."

"Oh." Her gaze slid over to the other three. "What's this lot doing here, then?"

"They care about you, love."

Lily smiled dimly. "That's nice," she said. "Also, you should know, my name's Lily. Not Love."

"Noted."

She yawned largely, her molars visible to all in the room. "Can I go back to sleep?"

James exchanged a look with Remus. "I don't see why not," he said. "Madam Pomfrey _did_ say that the potion should last for about three hours—waking her up to take _this_ was hard enough." He gestured to the empty cauldron, remnants of ingredients scattered about the floor and table. An empty goblet sat on the bedside table, a drop still sparkling at the bottom.

Lily hadn't waited for his response, as she was asleep again, her mouth slightly open, several strands of red hair dangerously close to her top incisors. James reached over and brushed her hair away from her face, and she sighed contentedly, rolling onto her side.

"Come on, mate," said Sirius, clapping Peter on the shoulder. "Let's get downstairs and make sure everything's clean downstairs from...from last night." He eyed James. "D'you want to stay up here?"

The last thing James wanted to do was go downstairs and see the remnants of his father's interrupted funeral. Infinitely grateful to Sirius, he nodded. "I'll stay with her," he said. "Make sure she doesn't..." his voice faded out, watching Lily sleep peacefully, terrified her face could contort in pain as it had before.

"We'll be downstairs if you need us," Remus said quietly, placing a hand on James' shoulder. "Shout for anything."

James nodded, not taking his eyes off his girlfriend. Remus, Peter, and Sirius shuffled out of the room, glancing worriedly at James as they went.

He understood their concern. The loss of his mother, followed quickly by his father, a disrupted funeral, a visit from Lord Voldemort, and Lily, tortured and unconscious. James sat on the edge of the bed and held Lily's hand in his own; it was warm to the touch, and soft, her nails unvarnished and ragged, as if she regularly tore them off. Lily's hands were delightfully unperfect, something James found wholly described her person.

Through the gauzy curtains covering the window, James could see bright late-March sunlight; cold but anticipatory, as if even the sun knew spring was coming. He inhaled the cottage's scent, all flowers and wood (and the faint scent of bacon sizzling in the kitchen downstairs). It was the opposite of Potter Manor in every way; wood where there was once marble, pressed flowers in place of old, grumpily painted wizards. If the manor was the mausoleum of his past, James wanted this cottage to be his future.

Lily sighed again in her sleep, snuggling in closer under the quilt. James lay down beside her, lacing their fingers together, and dozed, cradling his other future in his arms.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> I'm not even going to TRY and come up with an excuse. I'm a senior in high school, and I'm not doing ANYTHING I should be. But! I've got the next chapter of Royal Blues all ready, so hopefully I'll be able to alternate postings so you don't go TOO long without hearing from me. I'm not dead yet!
> 
> Feedback is always welcomed and encouraged. I want to improve, that's why I write! I mean, I write because it's FUN and making two dorks kiss is immensely enjoyable, but also to improve.
> 
> Alright, I'll just post this chapter now. I've kept you waiting long enough!
> 
> All my love (you deserve all of it!)
> 
> Alys xoxo


	41. Just for a Moment

CHAPTER FORTY-ONE: _Just for a Moment_

The doorbell rang as Lily was padding downstairs, rubbing her eyes and blinking blearily at the four boys in the kitchen. "No one woke me," she said accusingly, as Peter slid off his stool to answer the door.

James glanced up from where he was coaching Sirius through flipping a pancake. "We wanted to let you sleep."

"Actually, I wanted to wake you," Sirius said, frowning over the thin pancake like it held nuclear launch codes. "James said not to, on pain of death. Are you sure it's right, mate? It doesn't look brown enough..."

"No, no, it's fine," James said reassuringly. "Remus, grab the sugar and lemon, would you?"

Remus raised an eyebrow. He was reclining against the fridge, a paperback clutched in his hands. "Why would you assume there's sugar and lemon in here?"

"There was flour and stuff to make the pancakes," James protested.

Peter reappeared in the doorway. "Dumbledore's in the living room," he said, fiddling nervously with the hem of his shirt. "He seems serious."

Sirius stared at the pancake, still in the pan. "Prongs, will it survive?"

James shook his head sadly. "We'll have to make another one." The two boys stared mournfully at the pancake until Remus cleared his throat.

"Dumbledore. Living room," he said. "Let's go, you lot."

Lily wished Dumbledore had called ahead. She was still in her pajamas, loose and white with blue and orange pinstripes. Her hair was unbrushed, as were her teeth. The boys were all dressed; it was unfair that she wasn't. When she caught sight of Dumbledore's grave expression, however, all her vanity flew out the window.

"Is something wrong?" she asked immediately. "I mean...more wrong than it already is."

"Not exactly," the old wizard said, inviting them to sit. James seemed a little peeved at being asked to sit in his own home, but did as he was told. "You see, after recent events, I have come to realize that, try as I may to deny it, none of you are children anymore." His blue eyes pierced Lily particularly, and she saw guilt in them. She wondered if he was thinking of the Cruciatus incident. "As this is the case, and you find yourselves at the heart of a war, I realize that none of you will be content to sit and let the grown-ups deal with Voldemort and his Death Eaters."

"Of course not," Sirius said, leaning forward on the edge of the sofa. "Are you saying we can fight?"

Dumbledore held up a hand. "I am getting there, Mr Black. I would like to extend an invitation to you all to join the Order of the Phoenix. This is a secret society which I have founded, the goal of which is to combat Voldemort's rise."

All five began to speak at once.

"This is mental—"

"Why us—"

"How long—"

"Merlin's trainers—"

"What do—"

Dumbledore held up his hand again, and silence fell as if he had cast a spell. "You five are, without a doubt, the most inquisitive, brave, and intelligent group of students currently enrolled at Hogwarts. If you choose to accept my offer, I would consider it a great personal favor. The Order of the Phoenix has been around since 1970, when I founded it." He paused, eyeing each of them for a moment. "If you choose not to accept, due to the sensitive nature of this society, I am afraid I will have to wipe your memory of this little chat. I assure you, it will be completely painless."

Lily and James locked eyes. Lily gave an infinitesimal nod. She didn't care what it took, at what personal risk—if there was a way to stop Voldemort from hurting anyone else like her, there wasn't even a question about it. She was in.

She watched James turn to Sirius. The two had a silent conversation for a moment, before Sirius nodded curtly. Remus was glanced back and forth between Dumbledore and Sirius, but eventually he nodded as well. Peter was the last, his eyes watery and nervous. Lily saw a flash of _something_ in Dumbledore's gaze, but it was gone as soon as it had appeared. Peter nodded, too.

"We're in," James said. "Tell us what we have to do."

* * *

The five of them sat sequestered in a compartment on the train back to Hogwarts, each silently mulling over what Dumbledore had told them, sweets spread out over the seat to fuel their thoughts. He hadn't said much, simply told them to await further instruction, and promised it wouldn't take up too much time better dedicated to schoolwork.

"What do you reckon he'll have us do?" Sirius said in a low voice, the first to break the silence that had settled over them after they pulled out of King's Cross Station. "Think we'll go behind enemy lines? Dress like Death Eaters? Because I'd hate to wear those masks, I don't think they do much for my bone structure, frankly..."

"Maybe it's something dull, like clerical work," Peter said thoughtfully, tracing the path of a raindrop on the windowpane. "We're still pretty young, after all."

"Don't be such a prat, Wormtail," Sirius said, scowling playfully.

A huddle of Slytherin fourth-years passed by the compartment doors, glancing in at the Gryffindors. Sirius scowled more threateningly at them, and the scurried past. "Buggers," he said disparagingly.

"Bet they were eavesdropping for You-Know-Who," James said darkly, biting the head off a peppermint toad.

"For Merlin's sake!" Lily burst out, sending a box of Bertie Bott's flying. " _Why_ do you _have_ to think all Slytherins are evil?"

Sirius and James stared at her as the beans rattled on the floor of the compartment. James looked stricken. Sirius looked offended. Remus looked amused, his eyes still focused on his book. Peter feigned ignorance, focused intently on his Charms book, but his darting eyes betrayed him.

"I mean, obvious examples of darkness aside," she continued, seemingly oblivious to the reactions around her, "An entire _house_ of rather genial traits cannot be labelled as entirely evil. I mean, cunning? Rather like you, James, and all your pranks." James looked as if she'd hit his grandmother, a chocolate frog frozen on its way to his mouth. "Ambition? Remus, you've always wanted to be something better—"

Remus lifted his book higher, as if to say, _Please, please leave me out of this._

"And Peter!" Lily pointed a dramatic finger at the blond boy, who looked entirely shocked at being addressed. "Peter was a Slytherin-Gryffindor Hatstall, for Merlin's sake, and he turned out alright!"  
A small grin appeared on Peter's face. "Thanks," he said.

James ran a hand through his hand. "Merlin, I forgot about that," he said. "Maybe that's why you've always seemed a little dodgy to me Wormtail..."

Peter hit him with his Charms book as Sirius laughed, and Lily threw her hands up into the air in defeat.

"But seriously," Remus said, speaking at last. "I wonder who else he's asked."

Lily blinked for a second, then remembered the Order of the Phoenix. "Oh," she said. "I dunno." She tilted her head. "What about Marlene? She got Outstanding on our Defense OWLs."

"She kicks ass as Chaser," James added thoughtfully, gesturing with a licorice wand. "If I were making a secret society to fight the forces of evil, I'd want Abbott."

"Reckon we should ask her?" Sirius said sardonically, gnawing savagely on a jelly slug. "We can always Obliviate her if she's clueless."

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm sure Dumbledore will be in contact with us again soon enough. Besides, Padfoot, I don't trust your memory spells—remember third year? You ended up giving Vanity a concussion and she was in the hospital wing for days..."

"Bloody first-year," Sirius reminisced. "Thought she was something because she had her own broom..."

"Slytherin arrogance!" James cried, pointing at Lily. "See! Proof!"

Lily sniffed. "That's rather like the pot calling the cauldron black, isn't it, Potter?"

Peter burst out laughing, while Remus smirked.

James pouted, retreating into his box of Bertie Box. "My own girlfriend," he said dramatically, holding up a blue bean for inspection. "Betraying me. Perhaps this is cyanide-flavored, put me out of my misery..."

"Oh, you," Lily said fondly, leaning across to kiss him. He dropped the bean.

"Gross," Sirius complained, shoving into Lily with his shoulder, leaving James with a smear of pink lipstick across his cheek.

As Remus snorted behind his book and Peter stole James' chocolate frogs while he was distracted, Lily was overcome by love for all of them. James rubbing furiously at his cheek with a napkin, Sirius choking on a sugar quill—the inelegance of them, the brilliance of them all.

As the scarlet engine sped along the countryside, the sky turned from blue to indigo, with pink and orange fanning across the sky like phoenix feathers. The sweets were long gone; their wrappers were Vanished and Remus had finally finished his book. Sirius and Peter were playing gobstones, and Lily was dozing on James' shoulder, his fingers combing her hair absently.

A group of second year boys ran past the compartment, the swish of their robes accenting their high-pitched laughter. Lily blinked her eyes at the sight. "Mmm," she said sleepily. "We should probably change. We'll be at the castle soon."

"But that involves moving," James said, pressing his nose into her hair.

Sirius chucked a quill at them. "Gross," he said again, and his inattention led to a gobstone squirting something foul-smelling and green into his face while Peter crowed with delight.

* * *

Lily sat in the window seat, her eyes fixed on the dark forest. The mist threaded through the leaves like needlepoint, tendrils reaching for the clear inky sky above as if trying to drag down the stars. The sweeping ground lawns were empty, save for the small wooden hut at the edge with a warm glow in the windows.

She pressed her hand to the window but recoiled immediately, the chill from the outside seeping in through the glass. The moon was still small, hanging high in the night sky. Lily could tell even without her watch that it was midnight. She got to her feet, brushing off her pinstriped pajamas and moving into the warmer interior of the round Head Girl room.

The bed was inviting but seemed empty, like the crimson quilt and cream sheets weren't quite enough to cradle her to sleep. She sat down on the edge of it, skimming her fingers along the blankets.

A knock at the door.

Lily rose to her feet, pulling on her dressing gown. Who could be calling on her at this hour? A young student with nightmares, perhaps? Or maybe Dumbledore, come to talk about the Order of the Phoenix!

She froze with her hand on the door handle. No, that was ridiculous. Dumbledore wouldn't come up to the girl's dormitories, even for something as covert as the Order. No, this must be something else.

Lily flung the door open to reveal a red-faced James Potter, his hair sticking up in gravity-defying ways, his pajama shirt buttoned wrong. "What's wrong?" She hissed immediately, dragging him inside and shutting the door quietly. "What happened?" she whispered, pulling her dressing robe tighter around her waist. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, I'm fine," he said in a lowered voice, running a hand through her hair. "I didn't mean to scare you, I'm sorry—"

Lily kissed him, effectively shutting him up. "I was just surprised," she said softly.

"I was just..." his eyes roved her face, as if trying to steel himself for what came next. "Lonely," he finished, his face turning, if possible, even more red.

Suddenly, Lily knew what was missing. "I was too," she whispered, standing on her toes to kiss his red forehead. "Come along them. It's late, and we have class tomorrow." She took his hand and led him to the bed, sliding her cold toes under the sheets and curling up beside him, her head on his chest.

James' arms were around her, and she was warm. He was asleep almost immediately, and her eyes were heavy, but she wanted to stay awake for just a little longer. She wanted to live in this moment forever, this moment between wake and sleep, when she was safe and warm with a heart so full of love she thought she might burst.

But every moment must eventually end. Teenagers often feel that they are invincible, and Lily and James were no different. As they slept, their heads full of visions of fighting and winning, Dumbledore was planning a war. A war in which they were pawns, a war from which they would not emerge victorious.

But for now, let us let them sleep peacefully. Soon, they won't be able to do much else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about that. BUT. This chapter is twice as long as usual, so please don't hate me? I'm working towards an end of this, but Royal Blues will continue for quite some time! Also, sorry about that last line; it's a bit of a downer. But it was just CALLING to me.
> 
> I really appreciate all your feedback—please, please leave more! I love hearing from you. Here, to give you incentive: tell me what Hogwarts house you're in, and in the next update, I'll tally them all up. (PS: I'm a Gryffindor. I think I've said that before, but who can remember that long ago?)
> 
> I hope you enjoy chapter 41!
> 
> All my love,
> 
> Alys


	42. April Showers

CHAPTER FORTY-TWO – _April Showers_

 

Going back to class was weird, Lily thought, after all that time away. It was as if school had become an afterthought, and with so much else to worry about, Charms homework seemed superfluous. She sat in the back row of the Transfiguration classroom, though she never sat in the back half of the room, and had her head propped on one hand. Her eyes watched the progress of the clock in the corner, the second hand ticking by agonizingly slowly.

Sirius tapped her on the shoulder, sliding a scrap of parchment onto her textbook.

_Clearly you’re new to this ‘slacking off’ concept, Evans, so let me give you a pointer: don’t stare longingly at the door or the clock. McGonagall’s been glaring for about four minutes._

Lily glanced up, and indeed, McGonagall was looking at her, but not with anger or disappointment. No, it was tight-lipped concern. Lily balled up the note in her fist, surprising herself with a kernel of fury in her heart. She didn’t want pity—this was almost certainly about the Cruciatus incident. She was fine.

The bell rang, and Lily dropped the note into her bag and swung it onto her shoulder, ignoring Sirius’ attempt to speak to her.

“Miss Evans,” McGonagall called as she was about to leave. “I would like a word.”

It was hard to keep her exasperation on the inside. “Yes?” she made her way back to the front of the room, waiting for the last Ravenclaw girl to file out of the room. “Look, if this is about the whole...” she flapped her hand exasperatedly. “I’m doing fine. Really. Madam Pomfrey sorted me all out.”

McGonagall’s eyes narrowed. “Really, Miss Evans, no one expects you to be... _fine._ ”

“I _am_ fine,” Lily insisted. “I just feel I should be doing _more,_ you know? Like...Mr Potter’s funeral was interrupted by Death Eaters, I shouldn’t be in class worrying about my NEWTs, I should be out fighting! When I’m an Auror, face to face with someone trying to kill me, will it matter if I can translate a few runes or change a ferret into a water goblet?” Suddenly realizing to whom she was talking, Lily blanched, her hand clapped over her mouth. “I’m so sorry,” she said. “I didn’t—I didn’t mean—”

“Come with me,” Professor McGonagall said crisply, turning and leading Lily to her office. Lily’s insides turned to water as she followed, her mouth dry and her breathing rapid. McGonagall sat at her desk, staring at Lily for a moment. “Are you going to sit, Miss Evans, or merely stand there all day?”

Lily sat immediately, as if her cooperation could make up for inadvertently insulting her Head of House’s class.

McGonagall reached for a small tin by her inkwell, setting it between them. “Have a biscuit, Evans.”

Lily stared, dumbfounded. “I—I’m sorry?”

The professor inclined her head. “A biscuit, Miss Evans.” As Lily did, quickly, not wanting to offend any further, McGonagall sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. “I cannot say I understand, Miss Evans, what you’re going through. I can, however, offer to help in any way I can.” She eyed Lily munching on the cookie for a few seconds, and then continued. “Your Head work, for instance. If it has become to much for you, I would gladly organize prefect rounds and Hogsmeade weekends for you—”

“That won’t be necessary,” Lily broke in quickly. “I—thank you, Professor, but I love my Head work, it’s not that. It’s just feeling underutilized.”

A small smile appeared on McGonagall’s lips. “You’re eighteen, Miss Evans. You are in school where you belong.”

Lily eyed McGonagall right back, wondering if she, too, were a member of the Order of the Phoenix. On the one hand, she had been sworn to secrecy. On the other, Dumbledore seemed to trust her more than anyone. “Dumbledore spoke to us,” she blurted out. “About—about the organization.”

McGonagall’s lips thinned. “Close the door, Miss Evans.”

Lily jerked up, as if a marionette controlled by inexperienced hands. She shut the door quickly, and cast a _Muffliato_ for good measure. When she sat back down, McGonagall was looking at her with a most curious expression.

“He shouldn’t have told you,” Professor McGonagall said in a whisper. She looked almost desolate now, slumped back in her chair. Lily was shocked. The woman was always standing ramrod straight, a stern expression on her face. Even when telling the school of a new shocking death in the Wizarding world, it was with the utmost composure. “You’re children,” she said. “You should not have to share this burden.”

“We want to,” Lily said. But even she could hear the childish tone.

McGonagall stood abruptly, moving to face the window. It was nearing noon, and the sky was a clear, cloudless blue. The trees were bent almost comically, the wind blowing so fiercely they had nearly doubled over. McGonagall’s low bun was streaked with gray, and her hands, clasped behind her back, shook almost imperceptibly. “This war has gone on too long. Dumbledore is growing desperate, if he invited you and Mr’s Black, Potter, Lupin, and Pettigrew.”

“I think they like to be called ‘the Marauders’,” Lily said helpfully.

McGonagall gave a humorless laugh. “Yes. I know.” She heaved another sigh. “I know nothing I say can change your mind, Lily, but I want you to be careful.”

Lily started at hearing her name from the professor’s mouth. “I will,” she said softly. “But, Professor, I can’t do _nothing._ Don’t you get it? There are things worth dying for.”

McGonagall turned back around, and Lily’s mouth nearly fell open to see tears glistening in the woman’s eyes. “It is so easy to say that,” she said. “And so hard to see it followed through.” She sat back down heavily and pulled a piece of parchment towards her, dipping an eagle-feather quill into her inkwell. “I’ll write you a note for Professor Slughorn, I’m sure he won’t mind I held you late.”

Her audience with the deputy Headmistress was over.

* * *

 

 In the common room that evening, Lily sat sideways on James’ lap, her knees hooked over the arm of the couch, Potions book in her hands. She had just relayed her meeting with McGonagall to him, and her boyfriend seemed speechless.

“Well?” She asked, flipping a page idly. “D’you think she’s right?”

“Right about what?” James asked, burying his nose in her hair. “About us being too young? Absolutely not! Lil, I would Apparate over and kill Voldemort right now if I could. This is possibly the most serious I’ve ever been about anything.”

Lily pursed her lips. _Veritaserum is not entirely foolproof. Much like its Muggle counterpart, the polygraph (invented 1921), some witches and wizards have proven to resist its effects, and it is therefore unreliable in front of the Wizengemot. Additionally, Veritaserum cannot be used to disclose the full truth, only what the drinker believes_ —

“Lily. Are you listening?”

Her head snapped up. “Sorry, sorry! I’ve just got to write an essay on Veritaserum for Slughorn, since I ended up being late and missing part of the brewing.”

“I thought he loved you.”

“Clearly his love has its limits. Maybe I’ll order him some more crystallized pineapples—that should get me back in his good books.”

“Speaking of old Sluggy, we never did put bubotuber pus in his jacket.” Sirius slid onto the sofa next to the couple, yanking the book off Lily’s lap and ignoring her protests. “Bo-ring. Who does reading for class?”

“You, at midnight in the library,” Lily said smugly, yanking the book back. “Found that little detail out when I first saw the map.”

Sirius looked offended. “Prongs! How dare you divulge our secrets?!”

James shrugged. “My integrity has been compromised, clearly.”

 _Amortentia is easily the most powerful love potion in the world. It causes intense obsession and infatuation in the drinker, which is often confused for feelings of true love, though true love is impossible to replicate. Do not underestimate this potion; it is easily one of the most dangerous you will read about in this book_ —

Someone was snapping his fingers in front of Lily’s eyes. “I am _trying_ to do homework!” She snapped back, glaring at Sirius.

“You moved past the Veritaserum part—you’re just bored and reading now!”

“I’m getting ahead,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “I heard we’re going to be brewing Amortentia tomorrow.” She suddenly became acutely aware of James sniffing her hair. “James, darling, what are you doing?”

He dropped his nose to her shoulder. “Just trying to remember what you smell like so I can recognize it after we brew the Amortentia.”

Lily’s face turned bright red as Sirius broke out into loud guffaws. “Where are Remus and Peter?” she asked, changing the subject hastily.

“Last minute prep for April Fool’s day,” James said, still nuzzling her shoulder. Rather like a deer, she supposed. “Little bit of advice? Wear something nonflammable tomorrow.”

Lily coughed in shock. “Excuse me?”

“It shouldn’t be necessary,” Sirius said quickly. “But just in case. To be safe. We don’t want any harm coming to our precious Head Girl, now do we, Mrs Prongs?” He tapped her on the nose fast before she could swat him away. “Well, since you know my secret, I suppose I won’t hide it. I’m off to the library. Night, you lot.”

* * *

April first broke clear and bright, and every student (and teacher) woke paranoid and on edge. Toes tested the floorboards before bearing the weight of their owners, doors were opened cautiously, mirrors were used to look around corridors before entering. By the time most of Hogwarts’ residents were brushing their teeth or heading for an early breakfast, nothing seemed to be amiss.

Lily Evans was fairly confident this particularly April morning. Dating a Marauder did have its perks, and one was guaranteed safety from any and all potentially lethal pranks. As she surveyed her trunk, she realized she wasn’t sure what constituted ‘nonflammable’. It was, after all, a school day, and she would have to wear her uniform as usual. Still, just to be on the safe side, she cast a quick _Impervius._ It was supposed to just make things waterproof, but she added a few complicated twists to her wand, more commonly used for the _Incendio_ charm, that she hoped would do the trick. Lily eyed the lamp on her bedside table, then shook her head. If it _didn’t_ work, she wouldn’t singe a perfectly good sweater for nothing.

When she reached the landing outside the seventh year girls’ dormitory, she found Mary standing nervously underneath an enormous aluminum colander. “Good morning,” she said, her voice wavering.

“What’s that you’ve got there, Mary?” Lily asked cautiously, glancing up at the ceiling before joining her friend on the landing.

“Oh, Pettigrew warned me that for today’s prank, proper headgear would be necessary.” She poked at the colander dubiously. “I Conjured this up, but I was trying for something without so many holes...”

“James didn’t say anything about helmets,” Lily said, beginning to feel more than a little alarmed. “He said nonflammable.”

“Nonflammable?” Mary repeated. “Oh, dear...I suppose my dragon-hide gloves are, d’you think those will suffice?”

Lily cursed her lack of foresight. “I forgot about the gloves!” The door to the dormitories opened again, and Alice joined the other two in a raincoat and hat, goggles securely in place.

“What are you two doing?” she demanded. “Remus specifically said _Impervius_ charms wouldn’t work—Lily, don’t you have an umbrella?”

Bewildered, Lily replied, “Why on earth would I need an umbrella in the event of a fire?”

“Fire? Are you sure Potter wasn’t just pulling your leg, dear?”

“I heard falling objects!” Mary put in. “Well, Peter never actually specified _why,_ but I’ve been speculating all night, and I think it’s most likely, because what else would they do, force us to run into each other headfirst?”

Lily stomped her foot in frustration. “Look, _someone’s_ being lied to. I say we arm ourselves with _Protego_ and go to breakfast. Okay?”

Alice and Mary nodded, briefly glancing at each other mistrustfully.

“Good. Have Hestia and Marlene already gone down?”

“I think so,” Alice said, leading the way down the rest of the stairs. “I heard Hestia in the loo this morning, I think she was wearing a swimsuit—”

They had reached the common room, which was in utter disarray. Every student was clad in a ridiculous outfit, whether makeshift like Mary’s hat or impractical, like Alice’s. Lily had to pull two arguing second-years apart who seemed to be about to resort to Muggle dueling.

“I think we’ve discovered the April Fool’s Day prank,” Lily said grimly, shoving aside a grumpy fifth-year boy who was for some reason all in plaid.

Amidst it all, James was wading through a gaggle of third-years towards her, his arms spread wide like a proud tour guide. “Isn’t it beautiful?” he called. “Just wait ‘til you see the Great Hall. _That_ is a masterpiece.”

Despite the chaos around her, Lily found herself smiling. His good mood was infectious, and after the funeral, she couldn’t be mad at him for something _relatively_ harmless. “How’d you get them all to believe you?”

“Not all of them had to!” he shouted to be heard over the din. “That’s the beauty of it. It’s whether or not their friends would believe them when they passed on the message. It spread much better than I’d expected to, considering there’s a group of Ravenclaws dressed in only their knickers...don’t know _what_ Padfoot was saying to expect, but they went along with it...”

Lily stifled a giggle with her hand. “You know McGonagall will _know_ you’re behind this?”

“I’m Head Boy, remember? I’m on the straight and narrow.” He spread his arms again, stepping back. “She can’t touch me!”

“Oh, can’t I, Mr Potter?”

The noise in the common room ground to a screeching halt. Professor McGonagall stood in the entrance to the portrait hole, pointed hat slightly askew. Her posture was ramrod straight, her lips a thin white line, her eyes flashing dangerously. James fell back towards Lily, shrinking in on himself.

“P-Professor!” he said. “To what do we owe this pleasure?”

Lily thought she saw McGonagall’s mouth twitch. “My office, Mr Potter. We’ll collect the other three on the way.” As James trailed after her like a forlorn puppy, she called back, “Miss Evans, I assume you had nothing to do with this?”

“Nothing at all, Professor!” Lily called back cheerfully.

Lily could have sworn she heard the Professor snort lightly in reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N
> 
> I'm back! And boy, have I been busy. I went to Hawaii, got accepted to three of my colleges INCLUDING MY BINDING TOP CHOICE, so I must rescind all my other applications without hearing back from them :( But I'm so so so excited, they sent me a copy of the Iliad (I'm going to Reed College in Oregon)! I've only ever read the Odyssey, and I just can't wait to start. Now that my apps are in and I just have to worry about scholarships, I should (should) be writing again.
> 
> I've got something in the works for the February Jily Fantasty thing that you should see coming soon, and I'll give you a hint: genies.
> 
> I'm going to try and wrap TR100 soon, because I honestly feel like I'm dragging it out. Expect an RB update soon as well, and don't forget to send me suggestions/feedback/criticism!
> 
> All my love, as always!  
> Alys


	43. Too Beautiful a Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or, Twice Defied

It was too beautiful a day to be indoors, so James and Lily found themselves by the lake on a sunny mid-April day, hand in hand. James had nothing on his mind but the soft hand in his and the breeze in his hair, but Lily's mind was significantly more occupied.

"I'm thinking about setting the next Hogsmeade weekend for two weeks from now. What do you think?"

"Sounds perfect," he said, nuzzling her shoulder. "Want to take a nap?"

"Hang on...is it Polyjuice that requires the lacewing flies or is that the Felix Felicis? Or is it _both?_ Shit...I think I need to run up and grab my textbook."

James groaned into her neck. "No you don't."

Lily frowned, tapping a finger against her lips. "The next prefect meeting is Monday evening, right? You remembered to post on the bulletins?"

"All but Slytherin."

Lily elbowed him, causing him to squawk and displace several disgruntled birds on the otherwise peaceful lake. "I'll take that as a _yes._ Speaking of, did I already post that announcement on the ban of hexed Gobstone sets?"

"Yes, love. That Ravenclaw bloke nearly jinxed you over it."

Lily recalled the angry fourth year shouting her out in the fifth floor corridor, accusing her of disrupting Gobstones club. "Right, right." Another thought occurred to her. "Would you mind quizzing me on Transfiguration? I don't think I'm quite ready for McGonagall's practical exam Wednesday."

"I would mind," he said, moving on to kiss her temple, "because my brain doesn't seem to be functioning as intended."

"Oh dear," Lily said concernedly. "Do we need to take you to a mechanic, get that checked out?"

"I'm sure that would have carried a lot more sting if I knew what a mechanic was."

Lily hit him lightly on the arm. "You prat."

"You need to stop thinking about work."

"You know after school, we have to go to Auror training. That's _more_ school."

"Bloody hell. Maybe I didn't think this through all the way." With a laugh, James pulled her closer, peppering her face with kisses.

Lily crinkled her nose up, laughing as she playfully attempted to push him away. "How'd you do on that Charms quiz? I couldn't quite manage the—" he pressed a kiss to her mouth, effectively stopping her from talking. When he came up for air, she said, "How about the Defense Against the Dark Arts essay? I've hardly star—" With a low growl, James pounced on her again, covering her mouth with his own as she shrieked with laughter.

Some time later, they were lying side by side, hands clasped together on the soft grass as a few first years shouted nearby, daring each other to jump into the lake.

"It's too beautiful a day to think about school," James declared.

"It's too beautiful a day to do anything," Lily agreed.

So they lay there, clasped together like a necklace, without a care in the world.

* * *

It was too beautiful a day for so many bodies to be littering the streets. Yet there they were, the once-quaint cobblestone of Hogsmeade running red with blood. Because it wasn't enough for the dissenters and Muggle-borns to be killed with Avada Kedavra—they had to be slaughtered.

Lily was crouching in the shadows of a robes shop, prodding the flowers in the window box to grow and stretch, giving her cover. She'd always been good at plant magic. She didn't know where James was—they'd been separated in the initial blast in the Three Broomsticks.

He was a member of the Order of the Phoenix just as much as she was, she reminded herself. Dumbledore trusted him; he could look out for himself.

Knowing that in theory was a lot different than testing it out in real life.

Something shifted across the street, in the window of another shop—sandy blond hair, the flash of a pale blue robe. Peter.

Lily sent up a perfect white lily flower in her newly constructed shelter of greenery, and she saw Peter's eyes peek over the rim of the window, widening in recognition. Suddenly Sirius' head joined his, eyes darting up and down the street.

All the yells and shouts were coming from uphill, away from the castle. Sirius and Peter crept out of the shop and slid across the street to join Lily.

Peter cast a quick _Muffliato_ around their hiding spot, and Sirius ripped the lily off before any Death Eater spotted it. He tucked it behind Lily's ear, an unexpected show of affection in a dire moment.

"Have you seen James?" Lily whispered, despite the charm.

Sirius shook his head. "Thought he'd be with you."

"He was." Fear shot through Lily's veins, turning her fingers to ice. "He's okay," she said, mostly to herself. "He's fine."

Peter was peering around the back of the shop. "There's an alley back here," he said. "We can go back to the castle and get help."

"Or go towards the action," Sirius said, his wolfish grin in place. "Three guesses as to where Prongs most likely is."

"What about Remus?" Lily hissed.

"At the castle. He needed to study." Sirius eyed the alleyway. "Hey, you don't reckon James has the cloak on him, do you?"

"Actually, he might," Lily said. "He mentioned he's been keeping it on him more and more lately."

Peter was still looking towards the castle. "I don't know...wouldn't it be smarter to fetch Dumbledore?"

"He almost certainly already knows," Lily said. "C'mon, Wormtail. Let's go." Her wand gripped tightly in her hand, she led the boys towards the shouts and bangs, hidden by the shadows of the shops.

The alley ended at the brick wall of another shop, but veered sharply right back to the main street. Lily stopped out of sight, the sound of a battle just around the corner. She turned to Sirius. "Mirror," she ordered, holding out her hand.

"Are you going to try and talk to him?" Sirius sneered, digging in his pockets for the mirror all the same. "I think that'd blow our cover."

"No," she said, once he'd slapped it into her hand. "I'm going to use it as a _mirror."_ She angled it out from behind the wall to get a good look at the high street. Several masked Death Eaters stood with their backs to the alley, clearly keeping anyone from running for cover. "On the count of three," Lily whispered, "burst into the alley and Stun one of the Death Eaters. Then we see what's going on and fight."

Peter stared at her. "That's an awful plan."

"D'you have a better one?" she challenged, handing the mirror back to Sirius and crouching low, ready to spring into action. "Ready?"

Sirius nodded gravely, clutching his wand so tightly his knuckles whitened. Peter raised his wand half-heartedly. "I still don't think this is very smart," he said.

"One," Lily said, ignoring him.

"Lily—"

"Two."

"We need to think this through—"

"Three."

Sirius, Peter, and Lily burst into the alleyway, silently Stunning each of the Death Eaters before they knew what was happening. Sirius and Peter grabbed their ankles, dragging them backwards. No one came running, so presumably they weren't being watched too closely.

Lily crept out onto the high street and saw why no one was watching the alley. All eyes were on the tall, pale figure up ahead, staring down at James Potter like he was an interesting specimen in a petri dish.

Sirius appeared by her side, but she pressed a finger to her lips and dragged him back into the shadows.

"Peter," she said. "Can you go up there? They won't notice you, you could do..." she floundered. " _Something."_

"I'll do some recon," he said gently, transforming before her eyes.

She turned to Sirius as soon as he'd gone. "Voldemort won't kill James, will he?" she asked before she could stop herself. Sirius had no more way of knowing than she did, but she needed reassurance.

"Nah," Sirius said, but his eyes betrayed him. "He's too valuable."

"What if you strode out there," she practically begged. "Saying you'd—you'd had a change of heart. You want to join."

Sirius snorted. "They'd never believe that."

"What if I go turn myself in?" Lily suggested. "Go right up to Voldemort, distract him long enough for you two to take out the Death Eaters until the rest of the Order gets here."

James' screams filled the previously quiet street, and Lily's knees very nearly gave out under her.

"We're out of time," she said faintly, as Sirius' eyes darkened.

Peter materialized in front of them, out of breath. "Cruciatus," he said quickly. "I think James saw me—he's trying to keep..." he glanced back the way he'd come. "He's trying to keep You-Know-Who from going anywhere, looks like."

"Then we might make things worse," Lily said, biting on a hangnail. "But we can't do _nothing_...I'm going up there. You two wait here for my signal."

"What's your signal?" Sirius asked, his brow furrowing. He reached forward as if to take her hand.

"Screaming," Lily said grimly, twisting out of his reach. "Send a patronus to Dumbledore—what the _hell_ could possibly be taking him this long?"

She stepped out onto the street.

Up ahead, James had stopped screaming, and was instead struggling to his feet as a semicircle of Death Eaters with their backs to her laughed and jeered.

"...the last of the Potter line," Voldemort was saying as she moved within earshot. "I do not wish to see your blood spilled, James Potter. You belong to a family of great wizards, you can still reclaim your good name. Renounce the mudbloods and blood traitors, and join us. Do not let your gifts go to waste." Voldemort gazed at James, something unfathomable in his red eyes. "I will only offer so many times."

"And I will only refuse so many times," James spat. "Blood is blood. You're nothing but a megalomaniac with delusions of grandeur masquerading as a savior of wizardkind—" he broke off into screams again, falling onto the street as a cloaked Death Eater lunged forward, wand extended towards him.

"Leave him _alone,"_ Lily called out, coming forward to face the Death Eater. Her heart was in her throat as she leveled her gaze to the skull mask, ignoring Lord Voldemort beside her. "Dumbledore will be here soon," she said, with more confidence than she felt. "You don't want to hang around to see that, do you?"

James was trying to sit up, and it hurt Lily's heart not to be able to help him. She kept her eyes on the Death Eater, who crowed in amusement in a high woman's voice. "Oooh! The mudblood my cousin's been hanging around. I haven't seen you since the funeral!"

"Thank you, Bella," Voldemort said, his voice bringing shivers to Lily's spine. "You have a habit of getting in my way, girl." He addressed her directly. Lily slowly turned to face him, her wand still clutched by her side. "I have spared your life once already, do not expect the same favor to be granted again."

"If—" James had gotten to his feet and was pushing in front of her. "If you want to kill Lily, you'll have to kill me too."

_No._

Lily grabbed his arm. "James, no, stop—I'm not worth it—"

"Listen to her, Potter," Bellatrix jeered. "The mudblood has a point."

Did Lily risk Apparating now, with James in such a condition? Her hands were gripping him tightly, but if she attempted to turn and vanish, surely someone's reflexes would kick in and she would be shot. Or James could get Splinched.

"It appears we are at an impasse," Voldemort said, all the amusement drained from his face. "Your death will bring me no joy, Potter."

A faint pop, followed by several others. In front of Lily and James, between their intertwined bodies and Lord Voldemort, Dumbledore appeared, resplendent in deep plum robes.

"Good afternoon," Dumbledore said politely. "It is such a lovely day for a chat, isn't it?" A Death Eater attempted to fire a spell at him, but Dumbledore deflected it without blinking. "Miss Evans," he said, as if just noticing her. The usual twinkle in his eye was gone. "If you would be so good as to Apparate Mr Potter to the Hospital Wing, I believe he could use Madam Pomfrey's attention."

Lily didn't argue. She didn't say that she shouldn't be able to Apparate within school grounds, didn't protest that Sirius and Peter were still out there. She grabbed James more firmly, Splinching be damned, and turned on the spot, destination firmly on her mind.

* * *

James awoke to find his hand in a viselike grip, the arching ceiling of the hospital wing stretching overhead. He struggled to sit up, but his hand was quickly released and he was gently shoved back onto his pillows.

"Don't move," Lily said. "You haven't been out long—you just passed out when I Apparated here, Madam Pomfrey is getting something, I didn't catch what—"

James blinked at her slowly. "I don't understand," he said. "What's happening? Where are Sirius and Peter, they were in Hogsmeade too—"

Lily had his hand again, playing nervously with his fingers. "I—I don't know. Dumbledore told me to go, somehow I managed to Apparate here, I think he took down the wards momentarily, I couldn't argue—I _couldn't_ argue!" She dropped his hand and stood. "I'll go get them. I'm going to go get them right now."

"Don't," James grabbed her wrist. "Sirius has the mirror, right?" At her nod, he reached into his back pocket, wincing. "Send a patronus to Remus, I'll talk to _Sirius Black."_

His best friend's face appeared in the mirror, white and wide-eyed. _"Prongs! Thank Merlin, we had no idea where Lily took you_ — _"_

"I'm in the hospital wing," James said as Lily pulled out her wand, moving to sit on the foot of his bed to conjure her patronus.

" _That worked? Huh, I could've sworn_ — _"_

"Where are you?" James interrupted. "If you're still in Hogsmeade, Padfoot, I swear I'm coming after you myself."

" _Relax. Wormtail and I are in the tunnel under Honeydukes, we're almost back to the castle. Say hi, Pete."_ The mirror turned, revealing an exhausted-looking Peter.

" _Hey James."_

" _I said say 'hi', not 'hey', Wormtail."_

Unable to wait for his friends' antics to subside, James burst out, "What's Dumbledore doing? Is he still there, is he still fighting?"

Sirius' somber expression returned. _"Far as I know, yeah. We figured there was no point in hanging around if you lot were gone, though."_ He paused. _"Where's Remus?"_

"On his way," Lily said briskly. "He was in the library, had no idea anything was happening."

The door to Madam Pomfrey's office opened, and the witch was bustling over, a tray of potions in her arms.

"Get here soon," James hissed. "Before Pomfrey decides I can't have visitors."

Sirius' face vanished. Lily tore the mirror from James' hands and stashed it in her pocket.

"Can I have my glasses?" James asked.

"No," Lily and Madam Pomfrey said simultaneously. As James reached for them anyway, Lily slapped his wrist and slid them in her pocket as well.

Madam Pomfrey set the tray down. "This is the same potion we made for you last time, Miss Evans, though I am low. Would you mind running down to Professor Slughorn and asking that he brew more?"

Lily froze, confliction on her face. "No," she said finally.

Madam Pomfrey's eyebrows rose.

"A-all due respect," Lily stammered, but there was a glint in her eyes James recognized. "I just th-think I'll be more use here, I can brew the potion here, I—" she glanced at James, and even under the acting, he could see real fear. "I don't want to leave him."

The mediwitch sighed. "Very well, Miss Evans. The ingredients are in my office, you know where they are. Set up the cauldron."

Lily's shoulders slumped in relief. "Thank you."

The hospital doors banged open as she reached Madam Pomfrey's office. Remus came barreling in, his hair plastered to his face, his robes slipping off his shoulders to reveal his Muggle cardigan underneath.

"Mr Lupin!" Madam Pomfrey barked. "This is a hospital, not a Quidditch pitch! Kindly refrain from unnecessary displays of athleticism."

Remus pushed his hair out of his eyes. "Right. Sorry." His eyes fell on James. "Prongs! How are you holding up, Lily just said you'd been Crucified—"

"I'm okay. Everything aches, but I'm okay," James reassured him. "Thanks for coming, mate."

Remus sat on the edge of the bed, looking like he'd like nothing more than to pull James into a hug. "Of course," he said. "You'd do the same for me. You _do_ do the same for me."

Madam Pomfrey pushed James into a sitting position. "Slowly," she commanded. "You need to drink liquids." She shoved a glass of water into his hands and narrowed her eyes. "I'm going to check on Miss Evans. Mr Lupin, make sure he drinks _all_ of that."

"Yes ma'am," Remus said, with a mock salute. As soon as she was gone, he rounded on James. "What the hell were you thinking?" He demanded.

"I'm supposed to be resting," James reminded him. "I don't think you have the right bedside manner, Lupin."

Remus scowled, shoving a hand into his hair as James so often did. "I don't know what I'm going to do when you're an Auror," he muttered. "Probably have a heart attack every day."

"Don't be ridiculous," James said, his breathing shallow. "I'll be in danger far more often than that."

Remus sat down heavily at the foot of the bed beside him. "You know, Sirius is thinking of becoming an Auror too. Thinks it'll help with the Order."

James' mouth quirked up. "Doesn't he know that's dangerous?"

Remus smiled wryly. "I tried to tell him. He doesn't care. And yes," he said, cutting off James' protest, "I reminded him he will most likely be fighting his family. He doesn't care about that either."

"Damn noble son of a bitch," James breathed. "He'll be a better bloody Auror than me."

"Probably." Remus leaned back on his elbows, gazing up at the arching ceiling. "I would do it to, you know. If I could."

James' heart lurched. "I'm sure Dumbledore could—"

"I don't want Dumbledore calling up all my future potential employers and making excuses for me," Remus snapped. "I want to get a job on my own merit, not because they were bullied into taking me."

James sank back against his pillows. "I wish I could fight every injustice," he mused aloud. "None of this is fair."

"Has anyone ever told you life isn't fair?"

It was too beautiful a day to be cooped up inside the hospital wing. But with a brother by his side, it was bearable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLO EVERYONE! The senioritis has officially set in, because I KNOW WHERE I'M GOING TO COLLEGE! I'll be attending Reed College in Oregon, send me fanmail! :P
> 
> Thank you all for being so patient with me, I'm still trying to alternate this and RB, so check there for the next chapter coming soon! I hope you like this longer-than-usual chapter, feel free to hate me for another Voldemort scene lol.
> 
> Enjoy!  
> Alys


	44. Twice Defied

CHAPTER FORTY-FOUR: Twice Defied

 

“So, James Potter,” Lily said, her quill held before her like a microphone. “You’ve faced the Dark Lord twice now and lived to tell the tale—what will you do now?”

The windows were thrown wide open, allowing in a warm breeze and streaming sunlight. Herbert, Lily’s cat, was stretched out on his back in the window seat, warming his fur. Far in the distance, the Whomping Willow was still and innocent-looking. The beautiful weather had held for more than a week, almost as if the world were apologizing for the Death Eater attack.

James Potter grinned and stretched out on his bed. “I’m going to play Quidditch. Care to join?”

Lily stuck out her tongue, then recoiled as she accidentally licked the quill. “You’re still recovering, and Madam Pomfrey said she’d hex my hair off if I let you do anything too strenuous.”

“Really?” James raised an eyebrow. “She told me she’d hex my bullocks off if I let _you_ do anything too strenuous, but I said, ‘Really, Poppy, that’s more of a punishment to _Lily_ than to me —”

Laughing, Lily shoved him over and flopped down beside him on the bed. “Could you pass me the Charms textbook? I’ve got a quiz on Monday.”

James dutifully passed the textbook over. “It was nice of Dumbledore to give us the week off, wasn’t it?”

Lily snorted. “It was less of a week off and more of a week to catch up on Head duties— _and_ we still had to turn in homework!”

“We did?”

As Lily opened her mouth, eyes wide, there was a rap on the door. James lurched upright and padded across the room to answer it, letting Lily settle back in with the Charms book.

Remus stood in the doorway, looking concerned. “Prongs, Alice was looking for you and Lily—oh, hello, Lily. She said it was urgent, I have no idea what it’s about.”

Lily tossed the book aside and was in the doorway in seconds. “Did she look hurt? Is she crying? Did Frank do something? I swear to God, if Frank did something, I’m hexing him into next week—”

Remus held his hands up in surrender. “Just ask her yourself! She should be downstairs.”

Alice was indeed waiting in the common room, hands clasped in front of her. To Lily’s minor consolation, she was still wearing her engagement ring. Lily rushed forward to clasp her shoulders. “Alice, love, what’s going on? Remus said it was urgent?”

Alice’s mouth was set in a determined line. “It is. I need to ask you something, Lily, something very important to me. And I need you to promise that you won’t get mad when I ask it, or say I’m being irrational.”

“You know I can’t promise that,” Lily said. The corner of her mouth twitched up, but her eyes were still worried. “I always think you’re irrational.”

Alice took a deep breath. “Lily...will you be my bridesmaid?”

Lily’s eyes went so wide they looked like they might bug out of her head. Her hands flew up to clasp beneath her chin as her mouth fell open.

“Alice!” She shrieked, ignoring how Remus winced behind her. She lurched forward to wrap Alice in a tight hug. “Of course I will! You know I’d love to, I’d love nothing more—do you have a date picked out yet?”

Alice was smiling now, but there was a tightness to her expression. “Today.”

Lily’s delight faltered. “T-today?”

“I think now is the time we say you’re being irrational,” James said dryly.

“I’m not,” Alice said firmly. “We’re not. After what happened in Hogsmeade, Frank and I decided we couldn’t wait until summer, like we’d originally planned. Then we woke up this morning and decided—it needed to be now. I already have an officiant from the Ministry lined up, she’s going to Floo in.”

“Is that legal?” Lily asked, a hand over her mouth.

“Not strictly. But she’s an amazing witch, and she was only a few years older than us. Emmeline Vance, do you remember her?”

Remus was nodding. “She was a Ravenclaw, wasn’t she? She was brilliant, I heard.”

“I heard—” here Alice eyed the three of them, then shot a glance around the common room. It was empty, having been subjected to an exodus of Gryffindors to the sunshine of the grounds. “I heard she’d been recruited by Dumbledore.”

James, Lily, and Remus caught her meaning immediately, and exchanged glances. “This recruitment...it wouldn’t have anything to do with a certain bird who has a penchant for dying, does it?”

Alice’s face broke into a huge smile. “I _knew_ he’d talked to you about it too! He called Frank and me into his office yesterday, it’s another one of the reasons we decided to move up the wedding. Now come on, Mary was looking for the perfect place and she said she found it, up on the seventh floor.”

Lily thought she saw James’ brow crease, but by the time she’d looked closer it had vanished. “Well then,” he said pleasantly. “Let’s go witness a wedding.”

 

***

 

Marlene, Mary, and Frank were standing in a seventh-floor corridor, arguing loudly.

“What do you mean, you _can’t find the door?_ You said you left Alice’s dress in there!”

“It was _right here_ , not fifteen minutes ago, I swear to Merlin’s right nipple. Come on, maybe the wall hid it or something...” Mary pressed herself against the stones, pressing on them like one of them might open to reveal a doorway.

“Just what I thought,” James muttered.

Frank’s eyes lit up when he saw Alice. “Al! Mary says she can’t find the door—”

“I know where it _is,_ git, it’s just not _here!”_

Marlene was leaning casually against the opposite wall, blowing bright pink bubbles. She nodded to Lily once, then went back to watching Mary amusedly.

On the opposite end of the corridor, Sirius, Hestia, and Peter rounded the bend. Hestia looked drained from exposure to Sirius. “Ah, are we hiding Snape’s things in the Room of Lost Things again?” Sirius asked, rubbing his hands together. “We haven’t done that since second year!”

“Room of Lost Things?” Frank asked, running a hand through his hair. “You want me to get married in a room full of lost shit?”

“That’s not what it looked like when I found it,” Mary cried, throwing herself against the wall as if she could burst through solid stone.

“It’s the Room of Requirement,” James explained. “Not very reliable, but from what we’ve gathered in our years of research—”

“We found it last year,” Remus muttered.

“—the gist of it seems to be that you have to _need_ what’s in the room,” James finished, ignoring Remus. “It might be less of a hassle to hold the wedding somewhere else.”

“But the dress is in there,” Mary wailed. She stopped abusing the wall and screwed up her eyes, mouth moving along with her thoughts. “Ugh, I can’t remember what I thought before when I was looking!”

James indicated with his chin. “You know, Wormtail was always the best at getting it to work. Pete, you should try it.”

Peter blinked. “What, just...a room to have a wedding in?”

Alice checked her watch. “Emmeline should be here soon, so quickly, if you could. She’s Flooing into the Ravenclaw common room.”

Peter swallowed nervously. “I’ll give it a shot.” He started to pace nervously, face screwed up in concentration. On his third rotation, the stones of the wall shifted and rearranged until they framed an ornate door, and it seemed quite obvious to Lily that a door had always belonged there, and she wondered why she’d seen a wall before when there was clearly a door.

Sirius let out a wolf-whistle. “Nicely done, Wormtail.” He opened the door and swung it wide, mock-bowing to Alice. “After you, Mademoiselle.”

Alice entered the room hesitantly, an eager Mary on her heels. In a moment, the tension in Alice’s shoulders had faded. “My dress,” she said, relief in her voice.

James offered Lily his arm with a goofy grin, and with a matching smile she looped her hand through it and allowed him to escort him inside.

It was like stepping into a forest clearing, dappled sunlight sifting through the gently rustling leaves. A few white chairs were clustered around a beautiful arch woven with flowers and draped with a golden-white canopy Lily recognized as a chuppah.

Alice had vanished behind a tree to change into her dress. Lily glanced down at her Muggle dress of jeans and a sweater and grimaced, wishing she’d had a nicer dress to wear. When she blinked, folded on the spring grass in front of her was a gauzy peach peasant-style dress. She held it up—just her size.

Lily locked eyes with James. “This room,” she whispered, in the event that it could hear her. (Which, based on the appearance of a dress to her exact measurements, was more than likely the case). “Something about it unsettles me.”

James nodded, his eyes narrowed. “We can’t put it on the map.”

Lily frowned. “Can’t, or won’t?”

“Can’t.”

She jerked her head, and he followed her behind a tree where she began to shimmy out of her jeans. Eyes widening in alarm, he turned away. “Why can’t you?” she said, fighting to keep her voice even.

“Not sure. All four of us have been trying since last year, when we first found it. Every time we try to even hand-draw it in, it melts away like it was never there. And anyone who goes in there just vanishes off the map, as if they’d left Hogwarts altogether.” He paused for a second, and Lily imagined he was scowling. “It doesn’t sit right with me. I don’t like how unquantifiable it is.”

Lily, who had finished changing as he spoke, tapped him on the shoulder and prompted him to turn around. When he did, and took in the sight of her, he went speechless. Lily didn’t dare wish for a mirror, so she just smiled and took his arm again. “You don’t suppose we’re in...I don’t know. A pocket dimension, do you?”

He wrinkled his nose. “Not sure. It might not be sinister at all, but...I like to know what I’m dealing with, you know? Facing Voldemort, I can do. Facing an unknowable, metaphysical wish-granting entity like this room?” He mock-shuddered, and Lily laughed.

Back in the clearing, Emmeline Vance had arrived, escorted by Hestia, who had been posted outside to let her in. Her dark hair was swept up in a chignon, and she took her place beneath the canopy, her posture statuesque and her features elegant. Frank joined her, and Lily gave James a quick kiss on the cheek before going to find Alice.

Alice’s dress was a simple white shift, but it hugged her curves and made her look radiant. Alice had kicked off her shoes and was standing barefoot in the grass, a bouquet of sunflowers in her hands.

“Those are my favorite flowers,” Lily said with a small smile.

Alice spun to greet her, her happiness infectious. “We’re just a bunch of hippies, aren’t we? I’m getting married barefoot in a forest, for Merlin’s sake!”  
“Technically, you’re being married in a castle.” Just as James had done for her, Lily offered her arm. “Shall we?” Then, realizing the implications, she dropped her arm. “I’m so sorry—I didn’t mean—”

Alice was still smiling, however. “Lily, I’d be honored if you would walk me down the aisle. Since my parents can’t, and Augusta isn’t here—” there seemed to be an unspoken ‘thank Merlin’ that hovered between them as Alice looped her arm through Lily’s.

The two girls walked together back into the clearing, where their friends had clustered in the white chairs. Sirius winked as she passed, and next to him James looked dumbstruck. When they reached Frank and Emmeline, Lily gave Alice a quick kiss on the cheek and went to sit between Marlene and Hestia.

“Welcome,” Emmeline said. “I rushed down to the Administrative Registration Department this morning after Alice floo’ed me, and got my license to perform marriages.” She turned to Frank. “I know you wanted to be married by a rabbi, but since that wasn’t possible, I read up on Jewish wedding services after I got my license and though I cannot perform the blessings, I will do what I can.”

From a small table Lily hadn’t seen before, Emmeline produced a small goblet of wine, from which Alice and Frank each took a small sip.

“She did all this...today?” Lily whispered to Hestia.

Hestia shrugged. “She’s a hell of a Ravenclaw.”

Frank took Alice’s hand and held up a plain wedding band. “Behold, you are consecrated for me, with this ring, according to the tradition of Moses and Israel.” He slid the ring onto her finger, beaming down at her.

Alice took her ring from Emmeline and turned back to him. “Behold, you are consecrated for me, with this ring, before God and these witnesses.” She fit the ring over his knuckle and folded her hand into his.

Emmeline smiled broadly. “When you floo’ed me, Alice, I couldn’t have been more excited. When Dumbledore introduced us and told me you wanted to be an Auror as well, I was doubtful. I thought you were too young, too naive. But now I see that you hold so much poise and power within you. I wouldn’t surprised if you were He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named’s downfall.” She looked to Frank. “I understand you, too, are to join the Auror training program. You are steadfast and loyal, a true Hufflepuff. Together,” she held their joined hands, “you are the generation born to fight, and born to win. Just this, this moment of happiness in war is an act of the ultimate defiance to his darkness.” She took a step back, and handed Frank an empty glass, which he placed on the grass by his feet. He raised a foot and shattered the glass as their friends broke into cheers, and the bare-footed Alice leapt back, shrieking and giggling.

Lily and Mary were the first to fall on Alice with hugs and kisses, rejoicing under the gently swaying branches.

The room conjured up a radio, according to someone’s desires, and some strange conglomeration of Muggle and magical music burst forth, and soon they were all dancing and avoiding broken glass. Peter and Marlene were attempting what looked like a jig, and Sirius looked to be attempted to drag Remus into a dance. Hestia and Mary twirled around and around until they fell into a giggling heap. James and Lily slow-danced to what sounded like a mashup of Celestina Warbeck and the Beatles, and as Lily lifted her face to kiss him, she couldn’t think of a better way to heal.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guess who's back (back back) back again (gain gain)
> 
> It's me!
> 
> So here's why I was gone so long:
> 
> I got a new computer and it erased everything I had been working on, fanfic-wise. Yep. Everything. I managed to recover TR100, but all my plotting for one-shots and Royal Blues was gone. Is gone. I'm still working on remembering all my ideas for RB, but between college and college it hasn't really been a priority. But I hope it will be again soon!
> 
> All my love,
> 
> Alys
> 
> PS please keep letting me know what you think! I won't judge you for anything you say, I just want to know that you like it and that it's worth it to put the effort in :)


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